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Last update: 2013-06-23

CrabDiving035 – RIP Telegrams, Long Live Chocolate Anuses

2013-06-23 :: CrabDiving
Length: 36s

The female masturbation app: The following news items are discussed under the influence of cheap booze on this episode of the CrabDiving Comedy Podcast. Last Telegram To Be Sent Next Month – LOL Smartphone App Teaches Women To More Effectively Squeeze One Off Chocolate Starfish Anyone? Alaskan A-Hole Didn’t Bring Enough Barbecue To Satisfy Bear Buddy Jeff Garlin Pulls A Jack Nicholson Bank Worker Pays Out Dream Sum In REM Sleep music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving   Click here for—>  This week’s Best Hot Girls Pics Promo…

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CrabDiving034 – Purple Texas and A Dumb Giant Cross

2013-06-13 :: CrabDiving
Length: 35s

Surely you can handle a couple of fingers of your favorite whiskey and a CrabDiving Comedy Podcast where the following is discussed in earnest? Texas Is Turning Blue – Do Ya Really Think So? Bowl Me Over While I Smoke School Kids Visited By Worst Dressed Super Hero Ever Big Stupid Cross Erected (huh huh) In Wisconsin For the Christ Conscious Doug Stanhope Raises Over $100,00 For Atheist Tornado Victim Florida Cop Surprises a Woman With a Little Self-Shaft-Jacking At a Filling Station music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving   This Week’s Featured Best Hot Girl Is Elle Alexandra…

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CrabDiving033 – British TV Is Better & A Honeymoon Hooker

2013-05-21 :: CrabDiving
Length: 34s

The dudes of  the CrabDiving Comedy Podcast have plenty of opinions as to the shite below. Don’t be a wanker. Download us! Disney Princess Makeover Makes Fatties Pissed Fitch the Homeless Beautifies Our Streets Hooker Fail – Dude Solicits Prostitute on His Honeymoon and Gets Busted Frat Dudes Dump a Bro at the Hospital With a Note “I’m Drunk” Stuck To Him Florida Makes the Yellow Shorter In Order to Bust More Dudes With Red Light Cams CrabDiving Recommends Ultimate Force Starring RSC Dude Miles Anderson The RSC Dude’s IMDB music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving   Best Hot Girls Pics Promo: Dudes Love Katya Sambuca On Best Hot Girls Pics  …

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CrabDiving032 – Intolerant Morons & Anne Frank Pornography

2013-05-05 :: CrabDiving
Length: 32s

On this episode of the CrabDiving Comedy Podcast, Pat & Ryan rage about the following: Conservative Talk Show Jerk-Off Steve Deace Calls Gay Rights Activists Fascists LOL Tim Should’ve Tebow’ed Harder – Bye Bye! Follow CrabDiving On Google Plus! China Is Sending Africa Condoms That Don’t Quite Fit Japanese Business Man Slashes Tires To Meet Girls Mr. Slocumb Jerks With Much Torque In Public Douche Wants The Diary Of Anne Frank Pulled Because It’s “Pornographic” Japanese School Teacher Loses His Marbles and Seeds At His Students music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving   Best Hot Girls Pic Promo:  Sasha Grey Butt…

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CrabDiving 031 – Anne Frank Belieber and the Human Maxi Pad

2013-04-21 :: CrabDiving
Length: 47s

On this CrabDiving Comedy Podcast, Ryan Pfeiffer and Patrick Viall take on these topics and more: Justin Bieber Is Truly an Idiot Japanese All Girl Band Flashes Panties For Yen Surge Public Jacker Dude to Represent Himself At Trial That Munchkin Song Trending Due To The Iron Lady’s Death Jerk-Off Shape Shifts Into Sanitary Napkin Mayor of Marcus Hooks Will Get the Drop And the Load On You David Kuo Pulled Back the Republican Religion Curtain music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving This episode’s Best Hot Girls Pics Promo: Adult Star Katsuni Is On Best Hot Girls Pics…

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CrabDiving030 – NC State Religion and Guns in Your Vagina

2013-04-10 :: CrabDiving
Length: 47s

This CrabDiving Comedy Podcast contains discussions on the following: Birther Idiot Gets a Judicial Smackdown North Carolina Republicans Don’t Want Young People Voting North Carolina Republicans Want to Make You a Christian Follow Internet Model Sabrina Boing Boing on Instagram as She Breasts Feeds Calves “Manatee Grey” No Longer Offered as a Color For Anything Whale-Sized at Target Jerry Falwell’s Madrasa Style University Welcomes Shoulder Holsters to the Dress Code Bloods Gang Member Busted With 100 Bags Of Heroin In a Tight Dry Place It Turns Out, The Gun Inside Her Was Loaded Dogs Wearing Pantyhose music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving This episode’s Best Hot Girls Pics Promo: Kate Mara Pics Sexy Brunette Hot Actress Should Be Regular CrabDiving friend Fabulous Freddy co-hosts a Wrestling Podcast: The J.O.B. Podcast…

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CrabDiving029 – CrabDiving v. The Ridiculous Right

2013-03-29 :: CrabDiving
Length: 37s

CrabDiving vs. Religion, CrabDiving vs. the Supreme Court, CrabDiving vs. Stupid Conservatives, CrabDiving vs. the Universe on this episode: Super Big Crucifixion Billboard In Front Of a Best Western Antonin Scalia Is a Jerk-Off And Here’s Why “Jedi” Is the Seventh Most Popular Religion In the U.K. Gingrich And Frothy Mixture Of Lube And Fecal Matter Dream Ticket Random Jacker at Golf Course Rams Cop Car Don Magic Juan Has Opinions About Ice Tea Divorce Hungry Chick Forages For Food On Craigslist and OkCupid music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving   Pop-Tarting On Best Hot Girls Pics…

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CrabDiving028 – Commie Pinko Liberal Atheists Unleashed

2013-03-20 :: CrabDiving
Length: 47s

Ryan and Pat get commie-pinko-liberal-atheist in this CrabDiving Podcast and rant about the following stuff (and more): New Pope Big Deal Hurricane Sandy Relief Goes to Churches Sequestration Blows Out Meals On Wheels Mary Magdalene Jesus’ Baby Mama? Pat Fagan Of the Family Research Council Gets a Big F.U. From CrabDiving The Most Racist Moment of CPAC, and That’s Saying Something theme music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving Copy From the Best Hot Girls Pics Hot Latina Model Promo…

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CrabDiving027 – Ice Cream Condoms and Bieber Meltdown

2013-03-11 :: CrabDiving
Length: 36s

On this episode of the CrabDiving Comedy Podcast, Pat and Ryan semi-drunkenly muse over the following: Missouri Library Decides To Not Block Witch Websites Dolphin Tale Star To Declare For Senate Run Justin Bieber Makes His Stupid Fans Wait 2 Hours For Crappy Concert Justin Bieber Fights Like a Toy Poodle Japanese College Student Gifts Girl Friend a Bottle of Load Lotion Condom Ice Cream – It’s a Japanese Thing Floridian Busted With Cocaine Hidden In Fake Leg music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving026 – Second Hand Demons & Newsworthy Dildo Color

2013-03-03 :: CrabDiving
Length: 40s

  Check out this Crabdiving Comedy Podcast where Pat and Ryan run out of Red Label debating the relevancy of the following crap: If Anyone Cares, Here’s a List Of the 2013 Oscar Winners MLB Pitcher Charlie Kerfeld’s 1987 Jello-Loaded Contract Minor League Braves Manager Loses His Mind The House Manages To Renew the Violence Against Women Act The Assault Weapons Ban Will Never Pass the Stupid House House Of Cards Starring Sir Kevin Spacey Is Awesome Dude Gets Popped With His Own Piece On His Way To Gun Safety Class LOL  Texas Lawmakers Want To Run Public Schools Like Madrasas When Is Pat Robertson Gonna Die? Sri Lanka Prisoner Busted By Poorly Timed Cellphone Ring From His Hole Is It Illegal To Drive Whilst Gumming a Long Plastic White Thing? Chubby Checker Sues Company Over a Penis Size Guessing App music by Ted Adams c. 2013 CrabDiving   This week’s promo from Best Hot Girls Pics: Hot White Girls Kiss Sexy Brunette Style…

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CrabDiving025 – Smells Like Japan and Dick Cheney

2013-02-24 :: CrabDiving
Length: 37s

On the latest Crabdiving Comedy Podcast, Patrick Viall and Ryan Pfeiffer discuss the following over Red Label rocks: Iraqi War Documentary Hubris on MSNBC Dude Stores Bullets In Oven and Guess How His Roommate Got One In the Chest? Random Jacker Leaves Evidence In Firehouse The Scented Oil Biz Is Totally Screwed Japan Does It Again! This Time With Underwear That Smells Like Someone’s Sister  No Need For a Lampshade – Hand Me Those Panties Tentacle Erotica Wiki Page   Music by Ted Adams. c.2013 CrabDiving This week’s promo from Best Hot Girls Pics: Erin Heatherton On Best Hot Girls Pics  …

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CrabDiving024 – Addicted to Coffee Enemas & Horse Love

2013-02-16 :: CrabDiving
Length: 35s

  The internet experiences another CrabDiving Comedy Podcast flare-up! Ryan Pfeiffer and Patrick Viall BS about these news stories and more: Moron Quits Job Because the Sign Of Devil Appeared On His W2 Booze Mixed With Diet Soda Makes You Drunker Faster Find Out Which Yoga Pose Attracts Wackers Chocolate Starfish Coffee Blend This Couples Favorite Mom Slips Son A Little Oxy and Tongue During Prison Visitation Dude Tries To Start a Family With Trigger    music by Ted Adams c.2013 CrabDiving (NSFW) Check Out the Best Hot Girls Pics Post Pat Read During the Show (Bianca Beauchamp)  …

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Crabdiving023 – Gay Tennessee Dog and German Army Half Racks

2013-02-05 :: CrabDiving
Length: 34s

Welcome to the 23rd episode of Crabdiving! The following is discussed with wicked, piercing wit: Tennessee Jerk-Off Tries To Euthanize Dog For Being Gay An Army of Boob Olsen Twins Are Making Us Buy $700 Handbags Nursing Home Prostitutes Bad Burglar No Match For Christian Jewelry Cult Most and Least Bible-Minded Cities In the U.S. Theme music by Ted Adams. c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving022 – Arizona Loyalty Oaths and Enema Tampering

2013-01-31 :: CrabDiving
Length: 30s

Sit on the toilet for 30 minutes and listen to Ryan and Pat shoot the shite about: Education Taliban Style In AZ A-Hole Kid Avoids Parent-Teacher Conference By Faking His Own Abduction Giovanna Plowman AKA the Tampon Eater Pregnant Stripper Fights Over a Dollar On the Mainstage Dude’s Enema Habit Makes Him the Worst Person Ever Theme music by Ted Adams. c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving021 – Shaft, Jesse Jackson, and Sex With a Snowman

2013-01-27 :: CrabDiving
Length: 36s

Good thing this raped snowman is in England or some Republicans might say he asked for it. This week’s round-up of crazy includes but is not limited to the following. Who Knew Jesse Jackson and Shaft Were Tight? What Is Biden Doing On YouTube Talking To a Jerk-off In a Hoodie? What’s That Donkey Raper Guy Been Up To? Who Wants Some From a Dude With a Mouth Full of Coins? Who’s the Chick On Game of Thrones That Used To Be An Adult Actress? What Do You Do If An Intruder Jerks It and Then Craps All Over Your House? When Is Snowman Rape Legit? Theme music by Ted Adams. c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving020 – WWCWD (What would Cornel West do)?

2013-01-22 :: CrabDiving
Length: 27s

In this episode we talk a little about the esteemed Dr. Cornel West. Do yourself a favor and find some of his stuff. Amazing dude. Previously on Crabdiving: public jacking, animal husbandry blah blah etc.  Today on Crabdiving, we elaborate on the following. Grab a respectable drink and join in. Dr.Cornel West Smack Down Of Newt This Senator Doesn’t Understand Why Ecoli Can’t Evolve Into a Human LOL American Elected Officials Want Creationism Taught In Our Schools. Run Screaming! Turn Me Into a Coin Slot Doc Self-Lubing Wrangler Jeans Available On Amazon One Hour Hangover Clinic Now Open Brazilian Hookers Learn Their ABCs Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving019 – Gun Control and Endangered Crabs

2013-01-19 :: CrabDiving
Length: 41s

We’ve poured the Scotch and squeezed out another episode.  Here’s what was covered, CrabDivers: Floridian Teen Dude Busted In Super Sucker Sex Toy Heist 100% Of All Canadians Have Seen Pornography Great White Shark Invades CrabDiving’s Most Favorite State The Bad Kind of Crabs Are Becoming Extinct Genius Doctor Comes Up With Horrible Hair Transplant Procedure Best Coffee Shop In Amsterdam Best Place To Stay In Amsterdam (site down, may be closed, bummer) Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2013 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving018 – Gullible Beliebers and A Bank Robber Spanking

2013-01-13 :: CrabDiving
Length: 35s

Another CrabDiving Podcast oozes out onto the Internet.  Ryan and Pat talk about this and more: In An Attempt To Get the Pop Starlet To Stop Toking, Justin Bieber Fans Shed Their Own Blood Mission Impossible Kitty Part of Ridiculous South American Jail Break Scheme Chinese Man Hires Gamers To Kill His Son’s Avatar Seattle Dude Robs Bank of $3000 and Later Jacks It At a Volvo Dealership Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2012 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving 017 – An Irish New Year’s C-Word Lesson

2013-01-08 :: CrabDiving
Length: 35s

Happy New Year! Welcome to your (hopefully) first case of the Crabs in 2013. These stories and more: Android App Turns You Japanese I Really Think So Duck Killer Shot By the Animal He Loves Nick Stahl Busted For Jerking It Jackers Nabbed In Nut Bust Bust Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2012 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving016 – Quick Triggers and Bottles of Japanese Sperm

2013-01-04 :: CrabDiving
Length: 36s

In this episode we talk about Ryan’s former – and this guy’s current – beverage of choice, Mad Dog 2020: Sweet sixteen! Two more shows and the CrabDiving Podcast will hit eighteen and be old enough to bang in all states! Crap discussed this week: Woman Batters Boyfriend Over 69 Fail Woman Batters Boyfriend Over Intercourse Fail Japanese Porn Star Gets Bottles Of Semen From Fans Mad Dog 20/20 aka Bum Wine Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2012 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving015 – The Miley Cyrus Love Doll Caper and Pro Life Hangers

2012-12-29 :: CrabDiving
Length: 35s

Beware of falling Crabs!  The fifteenth CrabDiving podcast officially drops.  These stories and more are discussed: Snoop Lion AKA Snoop Dog Puffs 81 Blunts Per Day Miley Cyrus Blow Up Doll Has Three Achy Holes West Virginian Hag Arrested For Wielding Knife And Foulness Husband Attempts To Drown Wife In Dog Bowl Over Pizza Dispute Dry Cleaner Chooses Anti-Choice Coat-hangers John Calls Cops On Bad Hooker Customer Service Drive In Sex Booths Makes Zurich Better Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2012 CrabDiving…

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CrabDiving014 – Rick Santorum Sucks

2012-12-17 :: CrabDiving
Length: 42s

CrabDiving number 14 plops into the toilet of the internet! This time Ryan & Pat talk about: Athens Man Arrested For Pretending Taser Is His Schlong Japanese Perv Creates Program That Can Turn Anything Round Into a Milking Boob Rick Santorum Just Sucks Eddy Murphy Is Overpaid, Dammit …and more! Theme music by Ted Adams.  c.2012 CrabDiving <Here’s a brilliant and witty post about Santorum>    …

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