The captivating, and ever entertaining, Mike Schmidt of The 40 Year Old Boy joins us this week! He breaks down Tyler's method, forces the guys to introduce themselves, and makes references that he thinks we're too young to understand! We then talk about what success is, hear about his as-of-yet unreleased comedy CD, and figure out why the show is lost without the other hosts. This, and more, on Divided By Zero!

Friend of the show Joe Gardocki sits in again, in this B-Format episode, where he relates a tale of enjoying the finest meal a Deen can eat! The guys do their best Def Jam Comedy sets, Alabama Megatron lays his beloved pet Skanky to rest, and takes his turn at Ten Questions. This - and more - on Divided By Zero!

Tyrae returns to the studio this week, dropping the brand new track "If I Was Your Boyfriend" ft. Masters., and defending the local freaks. Tyler meets a murder, Pierre tries to increase his credit limit, and the topic of the show; how big is too big?

This week's guest, Joe Gardocki, drills a hole in his hand this week, and has an alarming experience at a grocery store. Foreigners all have bad teeth, and Tyler eats nothing but candy. All of the time. But the real focus of the show is just how bad your parents can be at raising children. Our panel tells their stories.

In a world where adults are expected to be mature, the Divided By Zero crew and Melissa embark on a journey against the grain. What's expected of children? Especially when their keepers aren't willing, or able to be the classic icon of adulthood and maturity. Also included, some bonus intelligence, find out how Freddie Mercury actually died.

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Having had a few too many this weekend, Masters completely forgets to publish this week's episode - which is about drinking in excess. Tyler completes his sleep study, and is once again permitted to join the rest of the guys in drinking. To see how much his recent sobriety has ruined his alcohol tolerance, everyone drinks at their normal rate, and judges the effects. During this experiment, they determine the depths of their belly buttons, and figure out how to re-create the Bane voice, from Batman: The Dark Knight. Then, in what could be the most offensive/hilarious story in DB0 history - Alabama goes to Wal*Mart.

Down one Nick Gauss, the guys soldier on - with Lady Envy filling in for the missing host. Our guest this week, Daddy Hinkle, brings up what it means to be taboo. Tyler is ultra drunk before the tape even begins rolling, and Pierre pushes as hard as he can to keep the show rolling forward.

In response to a letter from viewer Sergei, Laura Hoffmeyer makes an appearance this week, because he says we need more female guests. Tyler quizzes her on text message shorthand used by the teens, and gives us a peek at an X10 Magazine feature. The guys recall the weekend that had at a wedding featuring two previous guests, and then everyone does mushrooms, and gets holes cut into their throats.

Nick tries a new way to wear his pants, and Pierre has a conversation with a sex bot this week, as the guys welcome Chris Stevers into the studio. NASCAR is discussed, along with 'Angels in the Outfield,' and 'Rookie of the Year.' Then the question of the week is posed. "What is America, without Twinkies?"

This week, Pierre Zoz brings his newest stupid church sign sighting to the table. Discover how Pierre invented baguettes. AGAIN! And Pierre introduces a new Divided By Zero B-Format segment; Ten Questions, where Pierre Zoz asks ten questions which are all answered by the show's other hosts. All of that, and more - on Divided By Zero!

In part three of The Girlfriends, professional server/bartender Natalie Erickson joins us this week to discuss the merits of the service industry, and the expectations it holds when it comes to tipping. She shares some insider knowledge on what kind of service you can expect to receive if you can pay the bill, and joins the conversation when the rest of the guys talk about Pink, Tyler's lack of pants, Chris' broken glasses, and just how many people are missing their anuses.

In this ultra-musical episode, Sean Fair takes to the airwaves like a seasoned vet, solving all of life's mysteries, discussing his favorite apples, explaining how to wreck a scooter, and marveling in the art that is Tyler's ceiling. Nick practices proper interview techniques in an effort to have a successful podcast, and Tyler receives his copy of The Three Year Lie. All of this, and more - on Divided By Zero!

Divided By Zero gets interviewed, talks about the intricacies of tea, and ponders about Flo from the Progressive commercials. This week's guest Ray Stratos runs down the issues with gun control, and they all discuss the youngest mom ever.

In this episode, we learn how to reduce your carbon footprint by refusing to understand physics. How do you hold your hands while you stand? The guys show you their stances. ADO Radio's rating method is stolen, a school teacher enjoys a cup of nutty tea, and the cast publishes their personal ads. All that, and more - on this week's Divided By Zero!

Continuing "The Ladies of Divided By Zero," Cassie Dye visits to enjoy some Turkish Delights! Tyler recieves web messages, the guys learn how to properly measure by piles, and everyone discusses The Lord of the Rings, and wonders how the story might be different if the main characters had girlfriends.

This week, the cast shares their shower preferences, Tyler finds a list of things you can't bring to court, we learn that Drew Barrymore is a D-List celebrity, and our guest April Washko evades the subject of cats. But most importantly, the question of the year is raised; How much would you pay to have sex with Jeff Goldblum?

Guitarist Mike Culp drops in to talk about an old band named Stepa, and offer advice about packing venues. Tyler educates the public on how to flirt with nurses. Also, Nicky Minaj ruins the music industry forever.

In our second B Format episode of this season, the guys play a new game, invented by Nick. Guilty pleasures are also discussed, as well as some risque dialogues.

This week, we learn about the reactions people have to different types of alcohol, while our guest Betsy Rocket tells a sordid tale of stabbing an attacker with a boxcutter inside of a moving vehicle. Pierre returns from his trip to France, eels come out of butts, and the best breakfast is created. That, and more!

Fucking animals? Jesse Gardocki blows the topic right open on this one. Nick's grandma physically abuses her family, Jesse is sterile, and then the whole group discusses doomsday prepping.

Chad Dye joins us in the studio this week, as we break down the finer points of the other side. Chris tells the story of Dream Girl, Nick abandons his daughter on her birthday, and Tyler relives his first sexual experience - which occured in his infancy. All of this, and more - this week, on Divided By Zero.

Divided By Zero presents A Christmas Special this week, as we learn how your eyebrows should look, read from the hidden Bible chaper; "The Book of Gauss," exchange some gifts, read some scenes from Holiday Classics, and write Christmas Letters to Celebrities!

This week, Metro-Detroit's music superstar gives us a visit! The multi-talented Mr. John Kay speaks about leaving a legacy. What is legendary status? How do you know if you're reaching it? Is Nick famous? Also in this episode; Masters roots for Riley Reid to win an AVN Award, and Pierre makes the traditional French pilgrimage to his homeland, celebrating his uncle's 86th birthday! All this, and more, on Divided By Zero!

When Luke, (Handle Man, from Season two) is cleared from rehab - he drops into the Divided By Zero studios to discuss life after the institution. Pierre beings Budweiser's "Chelada" in for a try, Nick draws a sexy rendition of Muhammad, and the band Harp Dick is created.

Divided By Zero starts of the new season with a new theme song, a new logo, a new network, and a new fan. That's right - our first fan! It took eighty thousand downloads, but we did it! Also, Tyler has questions for our gay listeners. This, and more - on Divided By Zero!

Just like the bonus features on your favorite Blu-Ray, here are some of the best clips from the cutting room floor. Some were axed for content, some were dropped for relevance, and some were removed for being near unlistenable. But lucky you - you get to hear them! While the rest of the guys are sipping Rob Roys by The Pool, Nick leads you through a journey of the not-so-distant past - this week, on Divided By Zero.

As is now tradition, the wrapping of Season Three is followed by a Power Hour! Drunken ramblings with no real coherent theme. This particular episode is augmented by the standart DB0 opening, so you can at least tune in for that! Make it through the whole episode, and become a champion!

Divided By Zero steps up their season three finale, with a roast of recurring topical character; Nicholas Sonberger. Blasting through every segment from the season, this episode is packed with everything that you love about the show. Featuring standup comedy performances from Tyler, Pierre, and Nick, as well as second grade poetry, and much, MUCH, more. Stay tuned next week, for the traditional post-season Divided By Zero Power Hour.

When a previous guest, Doc, sits in, our guest Vincent can hardly get a word in. Every topic is spun wildly out of control, and more than an hour of footage is left on the cutting room floor. What remains is almost two hours of hilarity, including conversation about our favorite comedians, a delicious new candy; Ginger Spooks, trying to get Doc to leave the studio, starting the entire show over again, EZ-JESUS, and why black people like well done meat. All that, and more - on this week's Divided By Zero.

Alexis Ash joins the guys this week, as they express their disappointment over Mr. Hanks being a guest on a show that wasn't theirs, discover which Husk Alexis is actually dating, and unlock the mystery of nostalgia.

Season One Scott returns, and the host, formerly known as Alabama Megatron, changes his name to Piston Cotton - on this week's Divided By Zero! The guys discuss Marisa Tomei, old booze, and women's sanitary devices. All this, and more!

In this B-Format episode, we introduce a new segment; Letters to Celebrities. Before that, we hear about Nick's tweets from corporations, discuss the accuracy of the Mayan's calendar, and learn how to be ultra-cool. What's the deal?

What happens when an actor, with an unhealthy obsession with Ellen Degeneres, pays us a visit? Divided by Zero gets to pretend like they're actors too! Ashley Gray and the guys act out scenes from a variety of films, like American Psycho, and Independence Day, as well as practicing emotions, and speech accents.

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This episode features Mike DeVos, and a hold over guest in Spencer Maybe. The discussion contained herein is one of how having money can reduce your will to live. To live like you are above the grind, therefore giving you terrible odds in the process of natural selection.

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Detroit area rocker Spencer Maybe drops in to discuss the benefits, or lack thereof, of travel by aeroplane. While in the studio, we discuss why one should kill road construction workers, ponder if God uses iPhone or Android, get a surprise visit from President Obama, and sing pretty songs.

In lieu of a topic, Ryan brings the party game "Cards Against Humanity". It's like Apples To Apples, that is supposed to offend and damn you to hell.

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With the schedule allowing another Format B episode, the guys bring out the big guns, and possibly offend every listener they have. Nothing is sacred here. Topics include; Homeless people, racist names for Native Americans, "Hitler Did Nothing Wrong," shooting dogs in the face, and Uncle Tom's Cabin - then it only gets worse from there. There is much, much more.

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What do you feel you are worth to the world? ... DOESN'T MATTER! You're a loser! Oh wait, everyone likes you? Would you be my best friend? Well no I'm not co-dependant I just... I'm my own damn person damn it! I'm right and you're wrong! Don't you agree?

Husk and Tito discuss self esteem... Now go cry in a corner.

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If religion never existed, the world would be a very different place. Or would it? Religion seemingly permeates nearly every aspect of life, but does that ensure its perpetuity? 

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When things happen to kids, they generally have some effect on how that person is as an adult, no matter how subtle. We are all scarred in our own special way, and that's what makes us unique... Or some new age balogna like that.

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This may possibly be the last format b episode of the season, so the Divided By Zero cast hits all their favorite format b segments. Stuff We Hate About People, What's Weird About The Bible This Week, Reports and Reviews, A.S.S. (Avoidable Superfluous Situations), and a good old fashioned bitch session. 

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Our favorite salon stylist, Kelley Husk drops by the studio this week to discuss the finer points of space travel, planet categorization, and the Mars Curiosity rover! Also, on this episode; Nick is telepathic, Tyler is a Batman girl, Alabama can't position his microphone, and Pierre mimes a salad-tossing.

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When you have a movie quality Spider-Man costume, there is not much you can do to keep from using it at every possible occasion. Nik is no exception, contained herein is his story.

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What would happen if you couldn't get your pre-packaged, pre-constructed goods anymore? You would probably have to learn to do something for yourself. What that really means is, you would all die.

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Alabama is at Comic-Con, so Chris Masters fills his duties in this format b episode. Now it's been awhile since a format b episode happened, so to make it special two new segments are introduced, Avoidable Superfluous Situations and What's Weird About The Bible This Week!

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Even though we talked about super heros and comic books last season, we just couldn't stay away. "Penis", AKA Jeff, breaks down all the favorites with the Divided By Zero guys, and Alabama hates things that most people like.

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When an unstoppable force infiltrates the studio, there is little that can be done in the way of putting together a polished episode. Be warned, chaos is contained in this mp3.

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One year of podcasting at it's finest! Divided By Zero turns a year old and celebrates by telling stories and playing games.

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Every year Divided By Zero goes on the most epic of camping/river rafting trips known to man. This is the best recollection of it they can muster. Kabrewing for life!

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The formative years of a childs life are important for obvious reasons. Our teachers light the path in a way that parents currently don't. Let yourself be learned by the wisdom of Divided By Zero. 

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Meghan Nyeste is a college recruiter and Nick's sister in law. She guides the members of DB0 through the trials and tribulations of being a college student and responsible human being.

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The science of sleep has been long studied, with more questions surfacing with increased research. Divided By Zero has none of those answers, but they do really want to take a nap.

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In a totally ground breaking move, Divided By Zero does the first known PODCAST COVER! Nick, Tyler, Pierre, and Alabama steal the format of Mike and Tom Eat Snacks for the bulk of this episode. Breaking ground by retreading ground!

Chase, brother of Cassie, helps you find what you are afraid of, and how to combat such things. Everything from a simple fear of spiders, to foiling terrorists!

Chase was also in a short film, Animus, find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx8fgx3LHMM

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The loosely discussed topic of the week is population control. While all that does happen, it is one of the more zany episodes ever released. Also a new game is introduced that drives everyone insane, and it's all Tyler's fault.

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Once again a topic is not introduced, well that's not entirely true, it just never happens. But all that doesn't mean that a wide variety of topics don't get covered. It's fun, guaranteed.

Sunflower Productions: http://sunflowerproductionsllc.com

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3 weeks out of practice, the guys come together again to record pure greatness. The entire cast reprises their roles, with a slight character renaming. Jay Champlin is now known as ALABAMA MEGATRON! So, you know he's bad ass.

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Ring Master B (@BrandonCzar) comes in for a good time and derails the show with this appearance. We don't talk the topic we had planned, but we do fill an hour with all kinds of crazy crap. Enjoy!

Clash Wrestling: http://clashwrestling.com

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Tyler's sister and her friend Jeremy drop by the studio to talk on the topic of high school. Aside from making the guys feel old, we learn that kids are just as horrible as they ever were.

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The first foray into the B style format for season 3! Story time is followed by 2 new games and the ever popular Things We Hate About People segment. Jason Decker sits in while we yell at Nicholas for showering.

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We discuss and conclude on the meaning of life. With special guest Graham Chapman!

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Every region of the world has it's own charm, and people hate them for that. What does living where you live say about you? I'll give you a hint, it's probably that you are dumb.

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The music industry is a crazy place, and given the chance, it will kill you. Ok, maybe not, but many who brave the waters end up battered and bruised. The journey can break a man.

King of the City: http://www.facebook.com/pages/King-Of-The-City-Music/148982741860835

Michael Chimienti Album: http://www.facebook.com/lighteningbelly , http://reverbnation.com/lighteningbelly

Melina Marie: http://reverbnation.com/melinamarie

The impossible has been done! Not actually dividing by zero, but having our friend Joe Gardocki on the show! He helps us clear out the riff raff from our topic list, but not after some lengthy story time fun.

Third Eye Art By Joe: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Third-Eye-Art-by-Joe/138288862936943

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Season 2 has ended, and keeping up the tradition forged after season 1, the guys have a drunken meeting with their friend about business! It's as bad as it sounds! This contest of endurance is yours to master, we dare you.

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It has all been building up to this! Listen in as the Divided By Zero crew narrow down the Champion of the Heros! Twists and turns are abound, controversy is sure to ensue!

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The season is winding down, and what better way to relax before the big finish than sitting down with some classic segments and stories. Story Time, Things We Hate About People, Tyler's Trailer Recap, and A New Sponsor! BOOM!

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Let us count the ways to keep those babies out! Our guest, who is quite unsure of her name, breaks down the ways humans have control the birth of children THROUGHOUT HISTORY!

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Stephen, brother of esteemed guest Kevin Beahon, talks with us about things with cult followings. From football to Star Wars, people follow in mindless droves, consuming all that is their obsession.

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When it comes to growing up, none of us want to do it. The Divided By Zero guys, joined by Nick's siblings (Joe and Shea), present the idea that perhaps we never really do reach the full potential of what being a "grown up" is. 

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Come on down to the Placenta Center (The Placenter) for the finest of un-wiped butt steaks and to give the newest product from Divided By Zero a shot, the PCP Goggles™.  We report and review such phenomenon as fattoos, and the art of diarrhea love making while Pierre laughs at children getting killed. Don't worry about your drive home , our logic will keep you sober after doing all those corpse body shots. The thing we hate most about people though is the use of cake-up, spoiler alert.

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When pushing the limits of your liver, it's best to keep in mind your stage of life. When do you become an alchoholic, and why is Tyler giving so many blow jobs? Jim, "The Best Jim", Kremer brings his special friend, not his penis, but Mr. Three-peat Chris Franklin.

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[JUST A HEADS UP, THIS IS A VERY EXPLICIT EPISODE. YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD.]

According to MASH, suicide is painless, that's neither here nor there seeing as how we can't prove it. That fact that it's not legal has been the focus of political bills and such, and now it's our focus.

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Jay sits in for Pierre, he's like a co-host hooker! Why not make it legal? And what if it's with robots? Our good friend Chris Schauman helps us discuss the finer points of the ladies of the night. Get your pimp hand ready for all the glorious slapping that will surely be taking place.

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Nicholas makes a repeat appearance to discuss what it is to be immortal, and weigh the pros and cons of such a thing. Then of course there is the super hero segement, we are sorry Nicholas.

In this, the third format B, episode international terrorists, bank robbers, Uncle Santo, Scott Davis, Beetle Borgs, Chris Masters, and a cult of cynical asshole atheist priests, meet with Husk the Bird Whisperer to learn the American Dream of creating techno, Pierre style. But all they end up finding out is how not to make Creepy Crawlers, where bacon comes from, and that Tyler doesn't swallow. Nick gets drunk, is it conspiracy? Probably just something you hate.

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Jitty Zoz travels to our new home in Zimbabwe, all the way from his homeland of Geogia by foot, that's 20 away! This blast from the future past defies season 2 standards, even more so than the infamous Format B. Get it in you like Charleston Chew!

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What makes you happy? Vampires? Bad movies? Pointless discussion? Kristy guests and tries to help everyone discover what happy actually is, turns out, it's an abstract that has no definition.

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Our good buddy Jason Decker drops in on this episode that has as many Husks as Husk has underwear. Jay Champlin takes over for Tyler, but Tyler is still here, so he didn't really take over for him, he just... This episode of Divided By Zero is focused on celebrities and their deaths. Why the hell do people care and why does it effect society?

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Lady Envy sits down with Kevin Beahon, most of you remember him from Episode 3 of Season 1 as Divided By Zero's first guest. So get to know him better!

Here are the facts; Husk need to wax his entire body, giant squids are migrating, kids need more gay, and there's been a helicopter crash. Divided By Zero is your source for sports, weather, traffic, and world news. Want our opinion on people? Too bad we're giving it to you anyway, so are Chris Masters and Jason Decker.

This episode is sponsored by Stitcher! Goto http://stitcher.com/divided and use promo code DIVIDED for free streaming goodness!

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Have you ever noticed that there are no more losers, only non-winners? Well otherwise there would clearly be a rash of parents punching out little league umpires... Or businesses not being allowed to go bankrupt... Or some idiots discussing things they aren't qualified for...

This episode is sponsored by Stitcher, go sign up for free! Use promo code DIVIDED

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When you join the ranks of successful artists like Right Said Fred, Milli Vanilli, and Sir Mix-A-Lot, you are in for quite the roller coaster ride called life as a mega huge celebrity. As fast as you ascended this hill of greatness, you'll fall into the depths of insanity just as quickly. Buckle up and keep your arms inside the Birch.  

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Do you know why you believe what you do? If you don't you're about to find out, just give it Tyme! No that's not a typo, it's a spoiler, so get over it!

Also we now have a sponsor! Audible.com is offering our listeners a free audiobook and a free 14 day Gold Membership trial, just visit http://audibletrial.com/DB0

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What happens when you take Divided By Zero and mix it all up? This. Learn some things we hate about people, hear a tease of the Youtube channel Pierre puts all our old shit on, and get your first taste of Mitchell in the Morning!

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This is the audio accompaniment to Lady Envy's interview with The Gasm.

The Gasm

DividedByZeroPodcast

In a world where machines have taken over and man is reduced to a pest that must be eradicated, there is a beacon of hope on the horizon. Divided By Zero, the arbiter of technological justice rides!

Alpha Dog video.

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The audio accompanyment to a blog interview of Husk as done by Lady Envy.

Blog post here!

Let's go drinking! Luke takes us down a winding road of the reasons and situations for such a universal act, and where we end up, is hilarious.

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Tyler "T-Bone", "Brain?" Maron and Nick "Morphious", "Mighty Morphing Man", "Pinky" Gauss team up with The Salmon Squad and hatch a plan to rule the world! However they have the great force of Kevin "Flash", "Flashy Man" Kowaleski and  Pierre "Thunder Bear" Zoz, along with their trusty sidekick "Lightning" Rod Stewart standing in their way! Come witness the greatest battle for the world ever on a podcast!

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Divided By Zero gathers some of thier closest friend, and some returning guests for a planning meeting of sorts. To make it interesting, (because who likes business shit?) we got everyone drunk. You can play along at home with us as we gear up for the second season of funtastic fun times.

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Season finale time! It's finally time to talk to our good friend in the flesh, and for him to get redemption. Paranormal activity is the topic this evening, but it slowly degenerates into, hunting for support in red states, and bad puns. Also, learn what a Rape Rope™ is and does.

Attack of the Scottrons video

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PRE SEASON FINALE! This episode features 2/3 of Scott's sisters, Barbara and Eileen, who give us insight to his childhood that we never had. Turns out it explains a lot. 

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Jacob Karl, better known as Scott's friend since kindergarten, guests in this, the eleventh episode in the Scott saga. Jacob is a liar, he is not a doctor. Jacob has the calves of Adonis, and is not ashamed to show them off. Jacob might be the most knowledgeable person ever to appear on this podcast.

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Let's take a journey through the recesses of the unconscious mind with the Chief Scott Correspondant, Jay Champlin. This, the tenth episode, is another tick closer to our season finale, and who better to highlight the twilight episodes of the season than our own Scott expert. Also head over to our Facebook page, in the discussions area, to enter yourself in the Divided By Zero celebrity death pool, for your chance to win a prize pack and the admiration of the world.

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What do The Pukie Friend, The Screamer from the Bushes, and The Gentle Gangster have in common? What are the best break up methods? Why does Tyler have a blissful life? Who kissed Scott? Find out in this, the 9th amazing installment of Divided By Zero with Mara Magyarosi! Mara is a photographer and you can find her work here -> www.maramagyarosi.com and here -> http://bit.ly/ojsWkP

Also you can see "A Greeting of Sorts" here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqoniUgw1Nk

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We are about to make words about hockey enter your brain if you dare to listen. Plus the Scott stories are coming close to extinction, very few episodes of the first season left. Be carefull. 

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Today the guys muse on the idea of starting a cult. It's gotta be simple right? Just need some people, some beliefs, some lies, and a little drugs thrown in. The brothers Silvestri make awesome high priests.

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Everyone seems to have an opinion on art. Not sure why. Do you? Have opinions? Prove it.

BatOnFire.com and their new video -> here!

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The people in this show be all talky about serial killers. It starts with talking, alot more talking to follow the talk. Our guest is Antonio Pacifici, he is good at talking as well. Like!

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Vertsili Nealls of Sad Intelligents (link below) guests, as he discusses technology with Divided By Zero. Are you as linked to your cell phone as everyone? Who is the new Big Brother? Turns out, you are. Read Vert's blog here -> http://sadintelligents.com

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The guys from Divided By Zero discuss the importance of lyrics in music with guest Kevin Beahon on the show.  Also, could you be at risk from a new illness?  Find out in this weeks episode.

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The Divided by Zero group and their entourage alienate just about everyone outside their circle.  Are you one of their alienated victims?  Find out now in this weeks episode. 

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What would the Divided By Zero guys do during a zombie apocalypse? Probably die... but if they didn't, this is what they would do, or at least attempt.

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