"A man's got to know his limitations." -Clint Eastwood, Magnum Force. A man has to know when it's time to let something go. And our time has come. Our appololgies for our long absence, and for the much longer absence to come. It's been a great ride. We'll see you for our final episode in a month or so.

4 More years. That's how long it felt like it was going to take when I was sitting in line at the Special Collections Unit at the Maryland DMV. Also, what would you give to go back and do your 4 years of High School all over again? And, oh yeah. Obama.

Sorry for the delay. Between a baby, a lost episode and general ineptitude, we have been gone for a while but we hope to be back on a more regular basis. This episode deals with sophisticated topics like blowjobs from two headed girls, and mentally challenged people fighting lions for your entertainments. It's good to be back. Side note: the embedded photo for the episode is the result of shooting hollowpoint bullets into water. Fucking rad.
 

Sorry about that folks. We had to take a little bit of time off for the arrival of a new member of the GC family. But we're back now and the episodes will hopefully continue to flow. Not much else to say here. But I hope you enjoy.

Today is a day of a couple of hypothetical scenarios. Also, we posted a picture of an apparently "innocent" young American girl that one of our European listeners happens to have met. $30K for doing nothing? Maybe not as easy as it sounds. Wanna see the original Reddit thread where this came up? You can find it here: http://tinyurl.com/7ejfbtf

Other Jeff joins us for what turns out to be a review of some of our Vegas exploits. What would you give up to hang out with a group of 5 girls for several hours? Good question.

Work on your cardio gentlemen. The end is near.

The title kind of said it all doesn't it? This is from night 2 of Anonymous' bachelor party from Las Vagas. It's got many of the characters you know and have come to love, and a new one who fucking hate's his new nickname. Fair warning, it was recorded via voice memo into open air through the iPhone, so quality isn't as good as usual, but I was fairly impressed. Hope you enjoy.

This week, we open with a few items of note and then get immediately into some of our nominations for the The Team. You guys came up with some great ideas for our international death squad, what was most suprising was how many similar nominations there were. We'd love to hear any other ideas that you have, send them on to email@guycast.net.

We open with some sports. NHL Playoffs, NFL Draft, America's wild and uncurable addiction to racism. Well, that's not technically a sport. Yet. But give fox a few years. They'll figure out a way to format it. Also we crown a GuyCast Ultimate Guy of the Week (Which is long. Excuse us on that one) and talk about reason's women don't like you. Or us, for that matter. Enjoy.

We would like your feedback on a hypothetical question contained within. E-mail us your response at email@guycast.net. Need clarification? Drop us a line. Enjoy.

So this is the first episode from the sixth official Guycast Studio. So it's cheating a little. Same house different room. But this does mark the beginning of a new era here. The new studio has a new layout and a different vibe. Also we saw Hunger games at midnight because we're teenage girls.

It's always been a dream of mine to hold a competition in which people come from around the world to compete in events of the upmost sexual depravity. That's probably because I'm a weirdo who things about these things. But tell me that wouldn't at least get a few million hits on youtube. Also, finding an image for a show about "Sex Records" is really difficult.

We go through our 2011 GuyCast Fantasy Football champion's final email, and talk about some of the issues that came up and might be fixed next year. If you're interested in this, please enjoy. If you don't like sports or are from Europe, feel free to skip this one.

First thing's first. New Website! Guycast.net . That it all. Anyway, other Jeff joins us to discuss male birth control, Snookie (kinda), The 2012 Oscar winner for best picture (SPOILER ALERT: It sucks balls). Full Metal Jousting, banging hookers, porn staring cops, and probably some other shit I don't even remember. Enjoy.

It's amazing how this show has remained a constant in our lives over the last several years. I can't even imagine what it's been like waching from the outside. Anyway, contained within is yet another step on the path that has been Guycast. Enjoy.

This may be the most absurd sketch, and I use that term very loosely, that we've ever done on here. There was rum involved, and I appologize in advance for the results.

It's what has become a semi-annual tradition around here where we spend the better part of an hour droning on about this years movies. This is the one where we talk mostly about movies that suck.

The final results from the 2011 GC Fantasy Football league are in. And we may have an upset. Other than that, it's mostly Tristan screaming about Tim Tebow. Mostly because he's dissapointed in his idiot friends. Can you guys see through the thin guise of my writting these in third person yet? You can, can't you. Shit.

Other Jeff joins us for what could have easily been a trip down memory lane, had we done massive doses of cocaine and been unbeleivable retards in our youth.

Let's put this on front street: Skyrim may not help the delivery rate of this show. But you get this one, at least, so be thankful for that. YOu ungrateful prick. Also, we talk about the raddest innovation in future gaming we've seen in a long time. Any a guy who injected roofing tar into someone's ass. That too.

So Skyrim came out last week, and I'm gonna be up front on this one: This may be the last one of these. Cause it's really good. In other news: Penn State. Ugh.

Sometimes you gotta take it upon yourself to take the whole party up a notch. Some people call that Charisma. Other's call it alcoholism. Whatever it may be, the GuyCast heroes have it. It's frankly amazing they made it back from New Orleans alive.

Lets play good news bad news. Good news is: the iPhone 4s is out. The bad news is: It's battery life is less that half of the previous generation. It will require twice daily charging. Just kidding. But wouldn't that be awful? Seriously though, Steve Jobs is dead. That's the bad news. But it doesn't seem quite as bad now right?

The NFL season is here once again, so we talk about that a little bit. But if you're not a sports fan, no worries! Pretty soon we make fun of a disabled kid, so you have that to look forward to!

Question: What if Michael Vick were white? Answer: Who gives a shit? I guess that's technically another questions. But these and other burning questions answered on this weeks riveting episode of the GuyCast.

Other Jeff and Susan join us once again for this years GuyCast Fantasy Football Draft. 9 out of 10 of our guys were there to make their picks. Mr. Wizzard was a dick and decided not to show. If he hadn't been such a quality contributor over the years, we would be disbatching a high level assasin or homeless guy to take his life. Enjoy.

Draft - Thursday August 25, 2011. 9 PM Eastern Standard Time. Want in? email@guycast.net

We recap a weekend filled with man shit, but more importantly, Mr. Wizzard asks us for advice on breakups. And with a room full of fucked up individuals like this one, there's plenty of "advice" to be had. And drunkeness. And mostly just lots and lots of bullshit.

Amy Whinehouse is dead. Suprise suprise. We talk some movies. Pretty standard stuff here. Almost 400 episodes. Why do I even still write these?

Marc with a 'C' from the Face Off Hockey Radio Show joins us for an hour long festival of rape jokes and general frivolity. Warning, stories involving penis removal and batman are contained within.

So the guys pretty much complain about modern culture for a half hour. Google plus. The Justice System. And the modern system for cutting movie trailers are on the firing line. I hope you enjoy Curmujins. I don't know i that's how you spell that. I'm gonna go with "probably not".

A $25K bar tab. An epic drunken weekend by our friend Steve. War Dogs. And in in depth discussion on the deep dark depression that has for too long clouded Sports Bird's life. What the fuck else could you want?

Ryan Dunn got drunk and got dead. Beyond that, we talk about a documentary Adam saw called Catfish. Discussion ensues.

Admitting that you quit your job over tension with your previous boss? Risky. Admitting that you spent the last year running an online Head Shop? Bold. Very, very Bold.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kid with an ugly hispanic house maid. That's pretty much all there is to this one.

We finally get to the old inbox. Talk a little more about the PSN hacking. Recap the Childish Gambino Show. And, oh yeah, Osamba Bin Laden is dead. We may chat about that for a minute or two.

I couldn't come up with a good title to this weeks episode. What follows is the rambling sentence that came about as a result of the process...We Lost an episode because it didn't save to The Social Network that was probably hooked up to Playstations Network that failed because it was probably attacked by ZOmbies and they couldn't get any help because their cellphones were all jammed by Cage Fighters...

Is between those who remember Disney Afternoon, and those who are young enough not to.  The divide is vast. For those of you who don't, I highly reccomend picking up the first season of Darkwing Duck on DVD, at least.

Strap in. What begins as a standard recap of animal escapes from New York zoos and such, but culminates with one of our favorite stories from our mispent youth. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Phoenix is back from the brink of death. Charlie Sheen continues on his warpath. Tristan made it back from PAX East. And Japan is falling into the god damn ocean. And Gilbert Gotfried loast his job as the voice of a cartoon duck because of some jokes. Way to go, pussies.

This one may have been better enjoyed in the days following Charlie Sheen's epic public meltdown. In the weeks following, maybe not so much. I'm gonna go ahead and take a shot and say by the time you hear this, he's dead. And this comedy is no longer in good taste.

Our Post superbowl show. Wow...This late posting has really gotten out of hand hasn't it... My Bad.

We talk a little about why nice guys suck, and Charlie Sheen helps illustrate our point. Susan joins us to talk about why girls hate everyone. And the Superbowl is this weekend. But really, who gives a fuck?

Sony has "launched" their new portable gaming system. And by "launched" I mean "Let the awesomeness of it's features wash over us for a few weeks" before announcing that it's "going to be powered by a small nuclear battery and cost a billion dollars". Wait, that last part shouldn't have been in quotes. Because that's actually true.

I have written and re-written what was meant to go in this space at least 5 times now, and I realized. It's just not that important. So this, instead of my ramblings, I present to you the first entry that comes up when you search for "Blowjob Joke" in google: One sperm says to the other: "How far is it to the ovaries?" The other one replies: "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."

The word is in, and dozens of pictures of guys balls have found their way to Jeff's phone. Please do not stop this. If I die tomorrow and the only thing I contributed to society is that Jeff gets pictures of sack sent to his phone for the next decade, I'll consider it a life well spent.

Look. I'm gonna level with you. I've been trying to put together shows for the last hour, and watch The Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia at the same time. This shit ain't happening, cuz this film is completely out of hand. I'm sure this episode was good. Just enjoy it, along with the embeded picture of this hot cowgirl chick, and then go watch that movie. Immediately.

What's in a word. If that word is faggot. Apparently a lot. Today the boys discuss a point that originated on The Joe Rogan podcast. It's not the first time a point like this was discussed, and the last time we discussed it in regards to the N word, a very nice man called in and threatened to kill my dog, I think. This should go well. Oh, and Mexico is an abandoned Hell hole.

Sometimes the journalists of our times get it right. They ask all the right questions. They probe and followup in a way that gets all the answers. But sometimes, they don't ask the important shit. That's where we come in. I mean, that's where they came in. The miners, I mean. Just listen.

This is not a joke. You need to send picture messages of your balls to that number. 410-570-4714. Your balls, your friends balls, your girlfriends balls. It doesn't matter. Or just call and tell him to suck your balls, I don't care. The point is, he must be punished for what he has done.

Tristan and Fenix disagree about the importance of big hits and football. Fenix is clearly wrong. And it's good to be the one who writes the show descriptions.

Susan brings over a couple of her lady friends to sit in for this week. And they pull no punches. Not sure about the audio quality on this one, but we had a good time, and that's really all that matters, isn't it?

This is a weird one.  It starts out incredibly nerdy, discussing the oddities of the universe and our own mortality, etc. And then we take a break. And things get awkward. The explanation lies within. Enjoy.

We had a couple of requests for this one, so we put it up anyway. Might be interesting to listen to who we thought made good picks, now that we're 6 weeks into the season...

The NFL has begun again, and between that and the release of Halo:Reach, we haven’t really done a whole lot with our lives lately. Oh wait. Absolutely nothing has changed.

When I think back at all the computers that have failed during the short and illustrious lifespan of our show, I do nothing but shake my head and cry. I guess what I’m saying here is the hard drive on my computer failed. We saved the show, but the file that tells me what we talked about is gone. And I can’t remember a thing. Hope it doesn’t suck...

…

So it starts off nice. Fantasy Football. The Guycast Dick Sucking Weight Loss Challenge begins. And then it just goes to terrible, terrible places.

Well ain't that a bitch. We did a solid a half hour on old school video games and you guys only get the first 10 minutes. Life's a bitch sometimes.

So a guy who used to get high and write music with Lauren Hill thinks that because he mentions Haiti on the radio a few times that he's qualified to run a small country in the midst of Disaster recovery. I heard next year Jude Law wants to be queen of england, and the lead singer for Ramstein is running for Fuhrer of Germany. That's what they have right? A Furher? Or is each leader just called Hitler something. Y'know, like Ceaser? 

Josh the Mad Jew Scientist joins us before his move out to join the likes of the Kansas Jay Hawks for grad school. Along the way we discuss some things. alot. I hope you like talking about Dave Matthews and rape. Cause that's what you get here...

Fenix has returned from yet another gambling binge (yes we're trying to get him help) and this time he shed some light on some of the finer points of being a dick at the Blackjack table.

You thought the last one was bad. I don't even have notes on this one. It could just be the sound of Adam jerking it next to the mic for 40 minutes.  Haha, yeah right. Like he could go that long. Here's to hoping it doesn't suck.

I'm gonna be honest here. Normally after we finish a show, I take the notes from my master sheet and move the topics we talked about to another document specifically to the episode. Long story shot. I got drunk and kinda didn't do that. What I'm left with is a shee that says two names. Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan. odds are good we talked about these people, but I don't really remember. Here's to hoping it's not 30 minutes of silence.

We're such assholes. Somehow we allowed talk about the new Twilight movie to hijack, like, 15 minutes of our show about Guy stuff. We should just put guns in our mouths and end it. We are SO BAD at this sometimes. Anyway. The iPhone 4 came out. and we saw splice. But in the face of the first part of the show, who really cares?  Thanks for listening, we understand if you don't come back.

The GC Gentlemen are back from vacation/Vegas/being lazy.  Among other thigs, we wrap up out OBX Exploits, Adam recaps a "Work" week in Vegas. Tristan bitches about the World Cup (Suprise!). Gary Coleman is dead. And Adam introduces a new rating system for girls in the wild.  Enjoy

A new game is discovered. The "Guy Code" is examined. And we finally saw Iron Man 2. AKA The greatest sequel ever made. well, that's cleary not true. I guess that's probably Terminator 2, followed by Empire Strikes Back, and then Spiderman 2. And Rocky 4. Then maybe Iron Man 2. But Probably not. Hmm...maybe we should discuss this on the show instead of me writting about it stream-of-consciousness style in the description. Oh well, next time maybe. Enjoy!

One hour and Forty Minutes. Orignal Jeff is here. Drinks are flowing. We're talking about chicks. I can't be any clearer about this. If you can fight through the part about health care, it's one of our best shows in a long time.

An audio file about an hour in leangth created by two idiots for your enjoyment. Proceed.

We've Been Here for Years...

We go back to the well one too many times. We try to cover top ten date movies. But this list fucking blows. They can't all be winners I guess. Our appologies in a advance.

In addition to a little bit of draft talk, we get into a discussion based on a article from Askmen.com. What begins as "Top Ten Signs You're Too Good for Her" quickly degrades into top ten signs that you're dating either a) a bitch or b) some kind of feminine hobo.

If there was a no penalty, and the guy was a prisoner or a hobo or something, would you hunt a human? Like, in the wild. He's armed with a handgun with one clip and is on foot. You get a jeep, an AR-15 and 50 rounds. Would you do it? I don't think we actually discuss this scenario in the episode. I just thought of it and thought it was interesting. See, further incentive you read these descriptions. Moments of introspection.

We dedicate this one exclusively to some of your farewell e-mails. I don't really have anything else clever to add to this one. Ummm, Fenix died last night. In a fiery car wreck. No, no. Don't be sad, he's in a better place now. Unless he's in hell. That's probably not better. Fingers crossed I guess!

We begin our dark spiral toward the end with an examination of the latest issue of Marie Claire Magazine and their latest issue in which they insist Jessica Simpson is not wearing makeup. We're here to let you know, that's bullshit, and Jessica Simpson is a bitch. That is all.

No Description this week. I'd ruin the suprise. Answers are contained within. Listen at your own risk. Better to burn out than to fade away.

Can you rape someone who's okay with it?  The answer lies within. The Oscars happened. And St. Patrick's day is upon us. And one of the Cories from that shitty eighties vampire movie is dead. I don't remember which one. The one with drugs. Whichever one that is. Nothing else to see here, the goodness is contained within.

Sad Pheonix is back. Fuck. The boys discover Chat Roulette. A Killer whale fucking kills someone. Imagine that. A guy named Boner is dead now. And Mr. Wizzard write a review on I Hope Serve Been in Hell.

Tristan goes a little off of the rails this week in denouncing lugging (Louging?, Lugeing? who the fuck knows. it's not a real word anyway) as some kind of suicide sport. He says some things he probably shouldn't have. Kevin Smith has been deemed too fat to fly. And Tiger has finally appologized for his addiction to white girls.

Well, the title pretty much says it all. Sometimes our inner nerd just reaches up and grabs a hold of a show and doesn't let go. Enjoy anyway.

Marc extends his stay with us as we dip into the GC Male bag. We've recieved a slew of first time e-mails from listeners around the world complaining about how we don't do enough shows. I suppose they also provide a few stories, but all we hear is criticism. We're fragile like that, though. Also, by this point we'd been drinking for almost a full half day, and this is one of the most horrifyingly graphic shows we've done in a while. But here we just call it Old School.…

Marc from the Faceoff Hockey Show joins us for an impromptu Sunday show. And it goes a little something like this...…

Welcome back from the holidays. We start of the new year with actual new content, unlike most other media outlets who spent the last two weeks running Best Of's, we skipped the middle man and provided no content at all. But now we're back and ready to provide details of Tristan's work history. Fascinating. How often do you finish an Episode of Guycast and ask yourself 'Was that really the best thing I could've done with my time?'. Me? I ask myself that all the time. Enjoy.…

Exactly 100 episodes ago, we did one of my favorite segments in GC History. We read the story of young man who loved to fuck his car. Yep, no typo there. Thank god BBC America decided that this subject deserved it's own Documentary. And it's worth every minute of your life you spend watching. Enjoy. Oh yeah. Chris Henry is probably dead now. Wow. Weird.…

It's been a while but we're back. I can't even begin to describe some of the places this goes, but let's just say that Fenix and Tristan shared a very special moment late on normal Saturday night. It still makes me shiver when I think about it.…

Anonymous and Other Jeff join us this evening. It's an interesting study in listening to worlds oldest young men rail against social networking in all its past, present and future forms. But these guys barely like people in really life, so it's not hard to figure out why they hate facebook…

We take the time to highlight college basketball's gayest moment every year. And then for the rest of the time, we try and help one of our loyal listeners navigate the densly populated minefield known as the friend zone. And we talk about putting your dick in hot buttery popcorn. Not gay at all.…

World series? Meh. The continued collapse of Fenix's beloved Redskins? Eh. Cartoon Porn? Now THERE'S something we can all get behind.…

We once again revisit the semi-coherent ramblings of one of Fenix's favorite drunken aquantences. Aaaand a bunch of people got killed in Texas...that's not funny at all. But, Gourds though. That makes it better, right. Gourds? HA! It's comedy folks. It's a coping mechanism. Fucking relax. I hope you get killed.…

This segment is going to sound just dry-asspoudingly-gay if taken out of context. But fuck you. This is important god damn work we're doing. This is one of the first segments I suggest cutting up, burning to CD, and giving to your girlfriend for Christmas. But title it like it's a cute mix CD "Mike and Diane's X-Mas 2009 Mix" or some shit. She puts it in to her cars CD Player on the way to return gifts with her mom, and boom! She's better at blowjobs, now. Your Welcome. You and your Dad.…

Pretty straight forward here. Paranormal Activity. We saw it. We approve. The Redskins. We've watched them. We dissaprove. Da Ticklah is Undefeated in Fantasy. We approve. Susan is the Leading scorer. Remember what I said? Remember what I said if she wins. GuyCast. Over. See if I'm kidding. I might as well just rubberband up my nuts and slice them off with a whisk...or some other dull inneffective kitchen tool. I'll think about that. Since you guys can't seem to man up and get it done. Fuck.…

Well, we were all set for a great couple of show. Original Jeff, Other Jeff, Fenix and myself were all ready to get together, have some drinks, and say spray some wildly innapropriate shit out onto the interwebs...needless to say, there was a change of plans.…

Let's play a game called Good News Bad News. Good News. Jeff is back. Hooray! Bad News. He's addicted to drugs. Booo! Anyway, what follows is a long, kinda painful conversation about hihs eventual decent into 3 days of drug indused madness. Wow. If you enjoyed part II, you'll probably love part III.…

These stories come across the news desk here at GC every once a while, but rarely do they end up with the intruder quite so...dead. Also we discuss a highschool teams 83-0 manhandling of a rival school, and Kanye West's kind hearted and thoughtfull treatment of Taylor Swift.…

Here it is, the longest episode in GuyCast history. What started as an innocent attempt at answering a few e-mails, ends up as almost a two hour trip down the road of more topics than I can write about here. We hope to one of these again soon, but until then. Enjoy this.…

If you don't like Football, Fantasy Football, or GuyCast, Then you can probably skip this one. It's a recording of four out of ten of us participating in our innaugural Fantasy Draft. Hope it's marginally entertaining.…

This one's all over the map. To Start off with, Adam's GF Ali is in the studio for this one, but you can't really tell. Susan, however is also in studio. And you can, in fact, tell. There is lively debate on the merits of Quinten "Cut Trailers to look like the movie is about something that it's not really about" Tarentino's new movie "Spelled Incorrectly because that makes me seem edgy", also known by it's french title "Not really about killing Nazi's at all, mostly about tense conversations over tables." And by lively debate, I mean Tristan thinking the movie was shitty, and Adam being suprised by how upset Tristan is by the whole thing. Also Ted Kennedy is dead. Big day.…

It's that time of year again where we get real, real deep into the world of sports.  News out of the NFL, NCAA, Jail, and of course, it's the time of year again where Bret "The Worlds Biggest Attention Whore" Farve has decided to come out of retirement.   So enjoy the update, and for those of you interested, stay tuned for the GC Fantasy Draft on Wednesday Sept. 2 at 10 pm EST.…

Big day here for the guys. Michael Vick signs with the Philly Eagles, Billy Mays was a drug addict.  John Hughes is dead now. Sad Face. Adam made it back from the third world in one piece. And Tristan takes a big hit for his convictions by swearing off Fox.  In other News, GuyCast will be starting up a fantasy football league this year.  Hit us up at Guycast@gmail.com if you wanna play.…

Tristan gets his wish when Asylum.com celebrates A Day Without Megan Fox.  Also, we discuss the inevitable return of Michaels Vick and Schumaker.  Also, everyone stop being such pussies about loud summer movies. I remember when movies being loud was called being fucking awesome.

…

orts week here at GuyCast but with almost no actual sports news.  Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of Rape, and Erin Andrews was virtually raped by a pervert through a peep hole.  Some pitcher threw only the 18th perfect game in Baseball history, and it’s the third most important sports story of the week.  Who knew.



…

Well here it is.  The GuyCast video podcast.  It just gives you a quick tour of the studio and about 15 minutes of episode 307.  The full audio file will be available for 307 shortly.  Hope you guys enjoy.  We'll do more if the interest strikes us, or you.  Let us know.…

This is one of my favorite episodes in a while.  We tackle an article from Askmen.com entitles "Five Lies All Women Tell".  About half way through and we wizen up and bring someone without a penis in the room.  Susan tries to help us understand why all women are lying liars who just lie all the time.  And also succeeds in making Tristan feel really awkward.  Enjoy.…

So our springboard for this particular discussion is the fact that I've heard way too much lately about how Megan Fox is the hottest woman on the planet.  Everybody just chill the fuck out. Nobody's saying she's not an incredibly hot chick.  But there are plenty of those in the world.  In fact, I bet in L.A., she rates a 9 at best.   Anyway, from there we talk about movies for a half hour.  Oh, and Steve McNair's Dead.  Who cares. Sometimes it just happens. The talk about movies I mean, I've already moved past McNair.

…

So since I'm writing this a couple of weeks late we know that, in retrospect, this was the beginning of a string of celebrity deaths.  And once again, we happened to make off handed jokes about it no less than a week before.  Beware listeners.  Have we joked about your death on show?  Well, thanks for listening,  Put us in the will!…

Time for some e-mail catch-up. J-Rod checks in to keep us on a toes for out numbering system. Rocko from The 1 Night Stand shares a story about a 3-way with a whale. And Scott writes in to make Tristan admit his love Scott Sigler's audio book The Rookie. And we get really drunk. Again.…

Well, we try to not let our nerd hang out too much on the show, but every once in a while it just slips out when some sweet bit of flamewar pops up like the new iPhone vs. Palm Pre. It goes on a bit long. On another note, Josh the Mad Jew Scientist drops by, and we reward that behavior by berating him for 10 minutes about his habits of music theivery.…

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. The Laptop that we run all of the show content off of finally took a dump. As a result, I'm not sure what we actually talked about on this one. But you can probably figure it out right. Blah blah blah (insert athlete here) is a douchbag. Instert dumb citizen doing incredibly dumb thing, what an asshole! Insert horrifying sexually themed joke, half-appology, followed up by another joke. This time probably with less appology and more laughter.…

Marc continues his visit, we all continue to drink, and we spend 30 minutes talking about the only thing that's better than having wolverine claws. If you don't know, then I can't help you. But believe me. It's awesome. Enjoy.…

Introducing Marc, he's 25% of the Face Off Hockey Show, Adam's early college roomate, and a closet homosexual. Well, that last part isn't true, but he's not here to defend himself, now is he? We shoot the shit on the new Star Trek, Adam's new ride, and of course, and little of the Hockies.…

What the hell could we possibly say that hasn't already been said. 300 episodes of this crazy bullshit. And you guys are still here? Can't thank you enough. This has all been for you guys. You keep listening, We'll keep talking. Enough writting. Enjoy.…

In a classic GC mishmash of guy-related bullshit, we cover a wide range today. We begin with a discussion on the yankees new billion dollar homerun factory that they've built in the city, and Tristan surmises on some of the finer rules of baseball and why they're bullshit. We move on to Marijuana, Dane Cook, and Tattoos. Big day. Enjoy.…

Every year Maxim trots out their hot 100 list, and every year it's littered with a few repeat offenders, lots of women who have happened to be on their covers and do interviews, and then there's always a few that you look at and say "Wha?". It's my opinion that #1 is one of those. How can you look at your readers with a straight face and say "This moderately ok looking woman is clearly the hottest woman on The Fucking Planet. Period." Fuck you. You didn't even choose a good picture of her. Dipshits.…

And by Private Douchebag, I mean Phoenix. And by Phoenix, I mean Adam (Last Name Censored, because he would kill me for writting it here. Although I have half a mind to do so just so that the death threats come rolling into his house for the most monumentally stupid, idiotic, retarded thing that has ever come out of anyone's mouth.) Anyway. Here's an hour on movies. Good times. Adam and I are no longer friends. Podcast over. Thanks for being here. Hope you enjoyed the ride. I hate him so much.…

We come back from our vacation, finally. Swine Flu free, much to our suprise. We get started by doing a solid half-hour on sports. If you're not a sports fan. Sorry. We'll see you at 297.…

One of our young wards comes back to us or some advice on dealing with his fickel young mistress. And we attempt to help. Along the way we end up talking about forcing 11 year olds to watch hard core pornography...but we get there. Eventually.…

There's nothing more fun for us than to get a little bit of party juice into us, step off on a topic...and then just run with it. Today's an in depth discussion on the etiquitte of the male high five/hand shake/ball in socket. Where it ends can only be described with the love that three men can have for two other men playing beach volley ball without their shirts on. Yep, that sounded gay. Go ahead and listen. It doesn't get any better from there.…

This is a movement we invite you to join. Don't like someone or something? Fuck the strongly worded letter. Just don't buy it. Don't watch it. Don't give them the satisfaction. Also, we talk about Wolverine. Yeeaahh...Snicky Snicky Snoik.…

Susan swings by the studio (and by swings by i mean, i yelled out into the livingroom for her and she came in) to chat with us about what makes the jealouse monster tick, and what makes him repulsive. We also talk about pirates, the retirement of John Madden, and what do the GuyCast Heroes look at on their own time?…

We jump off from the point of Adam's 1996 Mercury Pillager. He needs a new ride. Bad. From there it's a quick trip (race?) down memory lane. We did lots of stupid, stupid things when we were kids with our cars. And still do sometimes. Here are just a few of those things.…

This is one of those rare episodes that starts with some pretty mundane ingedients, but comes out delicious. Like Pizza. The NCAA Championship, sleep, more on cancer, a new listener, and more chatting about shitty theaters. As always, the devil is in the details, so get listening.…

This episode is a little dated (a few weeks) because it disapeared into the deapths of Adam's Laptop for a couple of weeks. But it's a good one. We have everything a guy needs here: Cage Fighting (in a a real cage), Booby Traps (with real boobies) and Amputee Fucking (with real...Stumps?). Enjoy!…

Alright, I gotta a couple e-mails asking for me to continue writting these, so I guess I'll give it a shot. Bad news first. The real 288 is on Adam's laptop, so this is really 289, but it'll be labeled 288. C'mon, you're a smart guy. Don't make this weird. Just roll with it. And in the meantime if you're bored, you can go to twitter.com/guycast, and see what's going on in the world of GC.…

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You guys have sent us so many good emails lately, that we've fallen behind. so we begin recording with e-mail #1, and won't stop until we're through them all. Thanks again guys, and keep 'em comin.…

The Oscar nominations came out last week. Jeff and Tristan disagree what makes a movie qualify for best picture. Tristan thinks that a movie has to be good, Jeff just thinks it needs to be made by Pixar. When we're done with that, Susan joins us for a discussion on the etiquette of keeping pictures/items from old girlfriends. Enjoy…

After two episodes in an evening, we finally get to those important topics, that Tristan has been trying to get to for several hours now. The payoff? Of course, great buildup, for little payoff. Just like a sexual encounter with a GuyCast Hero. Have fun. And when you leave unsatisfied. Try not to make too much noise. We're sleeping. There's a five on the kitchen counter for your cabride. Don't call us... Yeah, that's it. Just don't call.…

What is the song that you hear that takes you back to a specific time and place. Or maybe just brings up a series of emotions you don't always feel. Is there on particular bar of one chorus of a song that takes you back to a middle school dance and then immediately gives you a stiffy? That's pretty much the topic for today. Enjoy just a short chapter out of the lives of our heroes.…

We're such f***ing hypocrites. We complain about how much we hate all of the media hype over American Idol, and then we spend an entire show tlaking about it. Now the only difference is, all we do is talk about how much it sucked, and we swear that this will be the last time that we talk about it for the entire season. Unless somebody dies...on the show. That would be totally sweet.…

GuyCast Hero #1's back and we did a marathon episode. You get an hour and a half of Jeff's checkered past, our theory's and methods for rating and dating women, foursome etiquette, and some really, really gay rating of one another towards the end of the show when the drinking really gets ramped up.…

This is pretty self explanitory. If you don't know what this one's about, then you probably can't read. And are hence, probably not reading this. So why would I even write this for a guy who can't read? I don't have time to be sitting around writting long winded descriptions for episodes that will never be appreciated, either because of a crippling learning disorder or by your complete lack of respect for the educational system. Fuck you, you unappreciative jerkoff.…

Tired of the cramped spaces on board airplanes? All you gotta do is put like, 3 or 400 pounds, and now they have to give you an extra seat for free! I don't know about you, but I'm looking into industrial sized containers of crisco and home delivery IV equipment. My Chrismas flight to florida's gonna be awesome.…

The Dynamic Duo of Other Jeff and Josh the Mad Jew Scientist join us for a pair of shows tonight. We start with a little bit of chat about Christmas, Global Warming, and a man who gets his butthole sewn shut. I suppose that list should seem a little odd, but giving the context of this show, I guess it's not really. We finish up with a man who commited suicide with a chainsaw. Fuck. Yes.…

I have four things written in front of me that describe this show. Stick 'em up (I believe that's the opening music we chose), one night stands, ten steps for a one nighter, and Die Hard. I don't really remember anything about any of those. I hope it was good. Assuming I was there.…

We open up today with some hypotheticals such as Would Adam fuck a hooker for free? And where exactly does Adam's moral compass point? Also, after eight years, someone finaly took a shot at bush. Unfortunately, it was only with a shoe. What are you gonna do?…

Good news boys! A new study says foreplay is over rated! That's right. No more spending all that time with kissing and touching. Just get her pants off and go right for it! And when your girlfriend asks you why you're trying to fuck her without even making eye contact, you just tell her "It's science baby!". Now, the bad news is, that same study says that while you don't need to spend more tim eating box, you do need to actually have sex for, on average, a full 15-20 minutes. Which, let's be serious, it might has well say a day and a half.…

The Maryland Terrapins continue to break the hearts of our GuyCast heroes. Things have changed a bit in the GuyCast pick 'em results. And finally, GuyCast gets the inevitable e-mail from a black listener about Tristan's racial diatribes.…

Tristan saw Quantum of Solace over the weekend and still has no earthly idea what the title fuckin means. We talk a little about the new Star Trek movie, and quite a bit about video games. The new XBox dashboard etcetera. Man, we are huge nerds. Anyway. Enjoy. We'll be back with two more shortly.…

Other Jeff continues his stay at GC5, and even Susan joins us for a little bit. Please forgive her folks, she gets mean when she's drunk.…

We saw Zak and Miri. We review the official website of the fleshlight. And then we recall one of the most horrifying tales to happen in real life.…

The GuyCast election special. Just like CNN only with more swearing. And drinking. Come to think of it CNN would be alot better if it was just Wolf Blitzer swearing and drinking. Listen to me. Just full of ideas and no ambition or follow through. And that's why assholes still rule the world.…

Congrats to the Phillies...the only thing to come out of Phillidelphia in 25 years. Besides a movie about AIDS starring Tom Hanks. But who wants to be known for AIDS?…

What if you could erase the more painful moments of your life? Would you? Has this topic already been discussed ad nauseum by a critically aclaimed Jim Carey movie? You be your ass. Does that stop us from talking about it here? Fuck No!…

It's been coming for a long time. Sorry you had to wait so long. The sound quality on Guycast is now near perfect (IMHO). Oh yeah, and it's been three years since the birth of GuyCast. As always, thanks to all of you who helped us get this far. Enjoy.…

Sometimes a party goes to another level. Sometimes it's that gallon of homemade "moonshine" that your friend's friend brought, maybe its the slutty girl who decides to get gangbanged in the living room while "Everybody Loves Raymond" plays on the TV...And sometimes it's just a little bit of competitive spirit.…

Other Jeff joins us for an episode of odd questions, wierd hypotheticals, and a little bit of discussion about what would inspire a smokin hot 24-year-old blonde to bang the likes of Hugh Heffner, besides the obvious alure of his ancient, wrinkly balls.…

NFL Pick 'em update, traffic chat, among other things. Enjoy.…

You ever watch a high fashion show, and realize that your having a hard time getting a hard on because all the models look like they're either young boys, or suffer from a crippeling eating disorder...either one is a distinct possibility. The good news is, things are starting to change.…

9/11, The greatest movie quotes of all time. And preparing for one of the greatest movie sequels of all time.…

We're so sorry. We're so so sorry. This is what you get for recomending we drink for every episode.…

Little bit of movie chat, the fate of Tom Brady, and a little talk about other ways of taking care of the tab at the end of the night.…

The aftermath of the 249 social lubricant debacle.…

Fingerbang. Isn't that a great word?  I think it's underused in modern day society.  Anyway, we get drunk (yes, again) and get Josh the Mad Jew Scientist and Other Jeff to open up about their deviant sexual pasts.  And it is F*ckin awesome.
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Have you ever wanted to... Do you sometimes think that... Are you a complete freak of nature so sometimes you wanna... Neverfuckinmind...Here it is...Again. Jesus. What's wrong with us?
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This episode just goes to show you that a little Other Jeff, and a lot of Captain Morgan, goes a long way.  By the way, the computer crashed mid episode, that's why the wierd break at about 16 min.  Enjoy!…

Our buddy "The Other Jeff" Stops by for an evening of Drinking, debauchery (That's spelled wrong. Like I give a fuck. that's a fag word anyway) And just a teeny little bit of show.

Finally, GuyCast returns. It's been a rocky road back, between computers crashing and losing episodes. But here they are. Some more explaination lies within, but the important thing is we're back. Enjoy.
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Do you believe in aliens. Probably not. But that's because you're not retarded. But Tristan is, and so he does. You can now hit up GuyCast via Facebook if you're so inclined.
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Again the title says it all. The return of GCI.

The title says it all. That way, when he dies, we can spend the summer talking about something other than whether Farve is going to play or not.  We also have a little more to say about the atist known as Little Wayne.
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Ever wonder whether a chick is hitting on you? So you take the shot and she tells you "Ew, get off of me." And you realize that she was just looking at her watch. And maybe that glassy look in her eyes was boredom and not vag wetting lust lust like you thought.  Yeah, me too.  Maybe this will help.
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I am so very sorry about the sound quality on 235. The explaination for that lies within. Other than that we tlak a little about the new Batman movie, wanted and explore Pheonix's dark obsession with Dave matthews.
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A pair of returns tonight. Just sit back and enjoy a little old school GC.…

It's like autism but with bullets. - Phoenix…

You can sheer a sheep many times, but skin him only once.  Remember that.

Here's to the man who paved the way for potty mouth little bastards like us to have an outlet with which to pour our filth out into the world. Thanks George.
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To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. If playstation can use shakespeare to sell video games. I sure as shit can use it to sell GuyCast.…

We begin with the common discussion on referees rigging games, although now with a bit more evidence to back us up. We bestow a little more help on Mr. Wizzard.  We talk a little bit about M Knight Shamalan. Yes, I know I spelled that wrong. No, I Didn't look it up.  If you want your name spelled right, get a good American name like Smith or Ramirez.…

Thanks to a question from Kelly, Adam and I take a trip down memory lane, dispensing bits of advice that we fished out of the trashcan of our mispent youths. Enjoy…

What would it take for you to run around a college campus with a broom between your legs?  Hopefully alot.  Sounds still not perfect but we'll get a good sound check in next week. Enjoy.…

Welcome to the first episode recorded from the fifth GuyCast studio. Please forgive our audio quality as we get the kinks worked out. We need to cut some echo and rework the levels, but we'll get there. In the mean time, enjoy some stories from over the break. And one from Fuzz and Intern Ryan on the special bond between a boy and his car. That bond, is probably semen.…

The final GuyCast recorded out of the GC4 studio in Annapolis. And we don't really go out with much of a bang. This one proves that drinking during shows does not always yield positive results. So for now at least, enjoy this short and ultimately unfulfilling episode.
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As you may have heard, GTA 4 was released this week. And Guess what, Adam's played it. So now you can be the first on your block to hear how it stacks up to versions past, and between systems. Of course, being the first assumes that every one of your friends has been sticken blind, deaf, and retarded for the last three weeks. Otherwise they might have already heard about it.
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Jeff joins us for one more, and in typical GuyCast fassion, we get very little done. Adam opens up a little on the breakup. And we impart useless and probably counterproductive advice on meeting the ladies.
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The Triumphant return. Enjoy. It's just like Jesus, only better.…

Well in case you were ever curious about Craig from Scotland's Ballbag, here's your answer. From there, the show spirals downward into a discussion about porn and the people who do their best to keep it in the media.
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Just kiding. We get almost nothing done here, but we like to think it was good time doing nothing. Enjoy.
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A hodge podge, mostly made up of your e-mails and comments on everything from drunken episodes, street racing, and a story that is your proof that your level of sexual prowess is up to par, regardless of what your girlfriend tells her lover about you when you're at work. So keep on strokin', and get this article framed and put up in your bedroom.…

Little bit about of chat about the national championship. Little bit about some movies. There will be blood. Iron Man. And a little something extra for you to do during next years tournament. Enjoy.…

On occasion things get out of hand here at GuyCast, and this evening was on of those times.  Words probably cannot describe how out of hand things got on the air. I'm not even sure that I remember how out of hand it got. Well, enjoy.…

What's up and welcome back to Guycast bitches. Sorry about the break, but we're back and up to speed here and begin with a chat on the status of the 2008 NCAA Tournament. And then on a couple of reasons why the train is still the best option for long distance travel.
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Sorry about the delay. The beginning explains it all. We hope to be back on soon. Thanks for hangin in there in the mean time.  Enjoy some chatting about the NCAA tourney (two weeks old now) and some other random junk. -Tristan…

Thanks to a new listener, Adam and I take an hour-long trip down memory lane, talking about our high school expiriences, good and bad.…

We begin with a chat about the most devistating loss for either of us, maybe better, but at the very least in recent memory.  We move  on to discussion on the retirement of Bret Farve, give out a little advice, and finish with a chat about Darkon...well, you'll just have to listen.…

Frankly, I lost the show notes, and don't really remember what we talked about. I know there's some stuff about the election. Probably the Terps.  And some sort of outlanding sexual behavior is probably a safe bet. All the class and tact that you've come to expect from us here at GuyCast. Enjoy.
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We open with a discussion on the bastardization of great landmarks in sports, such as Byrd Stadium (and slightly less notably, Wrigley Field). Also, I guess the Oscars happen. We finish with a discussion on the $5000 car powered by air.

We begin this one by proving that Adam really does know a little something about sports. Even if that doesn't really translate into any kind of realiable predictability. From there its onto an english teacher with a bizzare secret, and for once it doesn't involve somebody fucking someone or something innapropriate.
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A little bit of discussion, inspired by Fuzz, about being a little to drunk for the appropriate occasion.  Hell, who hasn't been?
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Men are putting off being adults until later. Women are pissed.  What the fuck is new.  PS- The embedded Picture is the one i promised last week of McNabb puking during the Madden Finals.
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Well...I supose it's easier than eating box. But still.  Has it come to this?  Anyway. I'm pretty sure this may signal the end of manhood as we know it. Also, Adam answers the question, how long will GuyCast go on?
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We finally hear from Adam's girlfriend, who many of you may be thinking is imaginary, but I assure you, she is very real. I have seen her picture at least twice, and Adam has pointed out the school she goes to in Canada on a map.  Anyway, she wrote us and e-mail. We also cover some of the cool shit that you guys posted on the forums.
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It happens every once in a while.  It may be that we occasionally get so self absorbed in chatting about sports, poorly and with very little real insight I might add, that we just lose all track of time.  Maybe it's the perfect storm of the superbowl, steroids, and some other clever sports term that starts with "S". But this is one of those times. Thirty minutes of sports. Enjoy.
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10 Things never to say to a woman. Discuss.…

This ones a little embarassing. Somehow this little thing called "The Superbowl" happened to slip by us.  Somehow we traded out spending a half hour tlaking about the biggest sporting event of the year andpossibly the biggest football game in 35 years...to talk about Britney Spears. We will be turning in our testicles to Guy Headquarters this weekend.  We appologize.
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I appologize. The frequency of guests has fucked with our levels at an increasing rate. But that aside, this a half hour movie, TV, and sports talk. Something different for a change.
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So things got a little out of hand at the 200 celebration. But we decided to record this one anyway. Brooks and Susan join us, and we go from there. Enjoy.
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Sorry this one took so long. But we finally bring you number 200. We get a little off topic here.  We start with American Gladiators, and get from everything from giant black dicks. T.O. Crying. T.R. banging Jessica Simpson. And confessions of a college whore.  A special thanks to everyone who's been here along the way. We appreciate your support. And look forward to the next hundred.…

What if you could bang a robot? Would you?  Well, knowing you the answer's probably yes, seeing as how youd put your dick into anything with a hole. But for normal people who weren't victims of sexual molestation by their fourth grade caffeteria lady, this poses an interesting question.  And so begins our premise for next week. Note: 200 will be a bit late. I've been home sick for the past few days. You'll probably get it on Monday or so. Sorry.…

Jim joins us with a little New Years Review.  Big week for firings in the NFL. And Fuzz lets us into his life to give us the best argument against homeschooling we've ever heard.
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We tried another year-in-review. But they can't all be winners.
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On the verge of one of the greatest accomplishments in sports history, we find something better to talk about. Like the time Tristan got treated like a...like an...well...he got treated differently because of his race. Kinda. It was more like. Well. Just listen.
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Welcome back for our Christmas spectacular.  Just kidding. This has nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever.But we do talk about the best way to approach and woman, and a guy who died stuck in a cat door!  Awesome!…

Some of our listeners respond to 193. We here from a couple of homeschooled citizens. We continue our investigation into the world of dirty refs. And a man punishes his son and makes a fortune.  Thats it. Just another Thursday.…

Brooks joins us for a marathon session, and one of GuyCasts crown jewels. 90 minutes of everything you've ever wanted to know about a mans fall into the grip of drugs. Uncensored.  No punches pulled. A special thanks to Brooks for spilling his personal life out over the internet.  No further description required.  Take a listen, and enjoy.…

Finally, Brooks joins us for an evening of hangin out, drinking, and some show. It's the first of a couple episodes that were a couple of my all time favorites. And if you like this one, you ain't seen nothin yet.…

We open with a little discussion on the years top video games. And it pretty much takes a hard left turn from there...Again.  I'm so very sorry. We also hear from a fan who has some interesting plan for his college years. And Nostradamus Dan checks back in with a story.…

Pyrovian (kyle) checks in for a final time, and reveals his true identity.  We also take a look at one of the worlds most hard to get and hard to get beers.  Jennifer Love Hewitt is fat now.  And if you tell the police you have a gun, it doesn't matter what you have, there are probably five cops who would love to kill you. You got $5000 layin around to help fund the war in Iraq?  Yeah didn't think so. See ya monday.…

Have you ever been in an awkward social situation, only to have it made even more awkward by some person of authority who wants everyone to be freinds?  Yeah, us too.  We also talk a little about a boy who really takes the hard way out, and a man frustrated with his local police.  Enjoy.…

Let's get the obvious out of the way. Sean Taylor, one of the greatest defensive players in the NFL, a husband and father at 24, was shot and killed this week. Sad. Nuff said. In other news, people are getting tazered left and right and posting it on YouTube, and it's Fucking awesome! Enjoy!…

Well, I just looked through the notes for this weeks show, and I don't remember recording any of it.  I think Adam may have used some Aqua Dots to have his way with me.  Wow, that was a little gay wasn't it? Anyway, I hope this one is good.  Who the hell knows.

Well, I just looked through the notes for this weeks show, and I don't remember recording any of it.  I think Adam may have used some Aqua Dots to have his way with me.  Wow, that was a little gay wasn't it? Anyway, I hope this one is good.  Who the hell knows.…

Hooray!  Sports Guy Phoenix finally gets a pick for major sporting event correct live on the air!  Well, why let a good thing continue, we let Adam take a crack at predicting this years NCAA Football national Champion. We also talk about some more F***ed up stuff. Enjoy.…

This is a just a mish mash of things. And Stuff. No need for a clever description. Just good old fashion Guycast tomfoolery.…

It's a sports day here at guycast. NFL, College football, Ohio State Michigan, Patriots Colts, Ravens Steelers, and perhaps more importantly, updates on cricket.…

WARNING: This episode may contain the most horrible thing you've ever heard, and we've ever read.  In retro-spect, it was probably wildly inappropriate.  But that's how we roll.  If you're a brave soul, press play, and find a bucket. You might need it.…

Halloween, A private party, sluts, the iPod Touch, Philly is for bitches. And Guycast recieved it's greatest compliment of all time.  Enjoy.…

Every once in a while, it's good to know what the other side is thinking.  Relationships, dating, and fuck-buddying ain't checkers boys, it's chess. You always have to be a move ahead. Naw, strike that, you need to be like 22 moves ahead, because she's already 23, so you've gotta work hard to be just one step behind.  Listen to this, take it in, and adapt. Good luck out there boys.…

Two years of GuyCast, what the hell are you still doing listening to this?  But thank you all. It's been a great two years.  Been a lot of changes this year, and we thank those of you who have hung with us, and those who have joined us along the way. We've said it 180 times: You keep listening, We'll keep talking.…

Love, marriage, kids, breeding, darwin, M&M's, Generation-do-what-the-fuck-I-feel-like and our latests presidential candidate. Welcome to episode 179.

There are only a few times in a man's life when it's ok to cry.  We've mentioned those before.  For Tristan, this was two of those times.  Finishing Halo 3, and irrepairably losing an episode of Guycast. So this is our attempt at doing it again.…

Jim and Abby stop by for the show. Things get wierd.  Who's suprised?  Not us.…

Anthrax. Britney Spears. More Salmon Sperm. Statutory Rape. Bear Rape. Matricide. Foreign Alchohol. Find it all here on Episode 176! To be continued at a later date.

Well here it is. The moment you've been waiting for. Or not.  If you wanna hear about the wedding and festivities surrounding, then here is your chance, if not, then see you Monday.…

I'm off to Hawaii.  So no time for silly descriptions that no one reads anyway.  Remember we're off next week. We'll see you next Thursday at 8pm EST.…

We return to scene of the crime for Tristan's bachelor party. OJ Simpson is back in jail. No seriously.  And finally, Poopcorn makes a run at the throne of Nostradamus Dan. Whether he takes it or not. Well that's your call.…

We said we were gonna do that. So we did it. And now we've done it. So stop  asking. It's a show about freshman year in college. What the F--K else do you need to know? What are you dumb? Why are you still reading this garbage? Haven't you learned by now that there's never anything useful written in these descriptions? I don't even know why I still do this garbage. Nobody cares.I should just kill myself. Enjoy. Bitches.…

While the NFL may not know the proper way to give out financial punishments, the FIA normally does.  And so does a whily old deacon from Sooner county. And so do a couple of airline mechanics on a runway in Kathmandu.  Keep these in mind the next time you decide to open your fat mouth.…

This one time, at band camp...well, actually it was a band trip, but that's not the point.  We take an e-mail from a new listener, we talk about some of the top myths about traffick tickets, and we look at one of Atlanta's brilliant new proposed laws, enjoy.…

We finally celebrate the return of football into our lives. The NFL opens tonight with the Saints display of how much they don't care about New Orleans.  Lets not forget how much Michigan sucks.  We also discuss a man who goes to great leangths to keep his girlfriend from finding out how small his manhood really is.…

Shaun writes us with an eternal guy dilemma: How do you go about popping that ever elusive cherry?  We have our ideas, and theres a good chance they won't get him arrested, but no promises. We also look at swingers, and Russia's solution to their under population problem.…

Let there be internet- Owen Wilson tried to kill himself. Certainly not an UGW. Try harder next time Owen. I oughta start spending more time with the software on my cell phone.  Also: Fox News, 16 year old hookers, Sneakers for rockets, and the $65 million dollar pants. Reloaded.  Again.  And three words: Dwarf, penis, vacuum.  Hell Yes.…

This week we pick an essay from Tuckermax.com.  Check out the website.  This is just one of many hilarious stories to be found there. We also tell the tale of an African man, with a bullet lodged in his torso, who was told by doctors to "walk it off".…

Michael Vick, crooked referees, and the downfall of sports in general. Crazy  fundamentalists send one of the worst sounding games ever to our troops over seas.  Parents name there kids an unusual name, a blind man drives a car drunk (with a little help). And to my eternal shame, more goat sex.

Sorry this is late, we fucked up. But anyway, we discuss the ultimate fate of the most hallowed record in baseball, a shop owner who takes meter maids into his own hands, a new prank perpetrated by YouTube jockeys, and cheerleaders that blame Red Bull for making them pregnant, 4Real.…

What does every guy do when he can't get something done? Of course, he does it himself. This guy thought the same, although we maybe think he would have been better off just not doing it. Other than that, we discuss some of the strange behaviors of Apple's co-founder, and one man thinks that Jesus was probably gay.
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Back the Animal Sex well again. Sorry.  But we also get to an exorcism gone wrong, and a man aroused by traffic signs...your guess is as good as ours.…

The first episode of Jeff-free Guycast is off and running, slowly, and curving a little to the left.  Today we broadcast from a new studio, so bear with us.  Don't forget to vote for Pacific Coast Hellway for the Podcast Awards.…

All good things must come to an end. That's bullshit. I got a job that might actually pay off some bills. Bad news? I gotta be outta town. So i won't be around for every show. I'll be back on though! No worries. This week we also talk about the code, Nigerian Porn, and Mr.s Rogers ruined the world. So good luck guys! I'll be back soon. Thanks everyone - it has been an absolute blast!

-Jeff…

Welcome Back Bitches! Today we talk about Bears Grilled. We also go over some of his top ten, and why people are taking it so seriously. We go on about the Number 23 and some other movies. thesimpsonsmovie.com is a sham. And last we talk about the 99 people you'll meet in college. Enjoy!…

Ok so this week we have a story i found about 11 XBrick 360's. The Canadian (Eh?) sends us a story about a man permanent pecker. The Black Momba - fuck. Gordo from Canada (Wat's that aboot?) Sends in some old ass movie reviews. Let the sidetracking begin! Enjoy!…

What up Kids? This week its all about the spot and pot. Ticklah sends in a story about how pot benefits peeps with AIDs. Also he sends in another about how people just don't give a fuck. Scott tells us how we got him fired. RacerG lets us know of the freshest gear in town. And to finish it off we discuss some oily spotage and needing extra pants...Enjoy!
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Who wants outta Iraq? You? well, thats why your dumb. A burial for the N-Word. NAACP story from midget Abby. Whites only shade tree from Ticklah as well as a slut marries herself. Dear Penthouse from FireRaven. BK - Have it your way from Fuzz. Holy shit this is the peacock episode...Good Luck!
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Guess whos back? Back again! Tell a friend....aight, so short and simple it goes like this. Transformers fucking rocks. July 4th is better in HD, but then again what isn't? iPhone - nice but wait. And guess what that fucker Blends! UFC kicks some ass. And Man Vs. Wild rocks! Why you ask? Drink your own urine and then come ask me...Enjoy!…

Aight next week we are on vaca so get yer fill. Liz Claiborne dead. Big ass penguins. Spice Girls go on a reunion world whore, er, tour. English bars going smoke free next week. Craig sends us on a mission to Mars. Pussies get harrased. Retards on the blackboard. Red VS. Blue says goodbye. And a prison sex show just for good measure. Enjoy!
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Ok so this week Ryan sends a 10 yr old our way. Cody and Kelly get a shoutout. Nostradamous Dan wants to visit. Paris is STILL a whore. Chris Benoit is a murderer. NBA draft, like people care. iPhone. and Tyson's still weird after 10 years. Enjoy!…

Damn, well this weeks episode is all about the MANdments. I'm not even gonna explain this shit. Enjoy!…

Poopcorn enlightens us with a little opener. We give a shoutout to those that joined us live. Bush hates retards, Tristan was a whore and the newspapers show it. Someone gets stabbed to death. Gay for Grylls. Zoo review by Meg. Nostra says what up. Death by spitting. Robin sends us some good stories. Enjoy!…

Live shows are off and rolling. This week we talk about a wheelchair, the U.S. GP, The organ donor, Bindi Irwin, Alcohol Powder, Ryan VS Pyrovian, The Gay Bomb Tex calls in about it, Jeff is getting T-Shirts, Swords, and someone lost a ball, the bad way. Enjoy!…

Holy Shit! We are finally live! That's right boys and girl(s), we are 100% live. This marks the occasion where we are now available to chat, call in, comment, all LIVE! Everyweek we will be live on Thursday's at 6:00PM EST. This week we have the guys choice awards, Transformers the movie, Live Free or Die Hard, NBA/NHL Finals, Cougars (Meg) and last and certainly least nasty-ass-warts-Paris-Hilton. Enjoy!…

Flight Attendents should be hot, Tex don't like nigga, New York needs more rules on games, Adult Recess - think about it! Man arrested for using 2 dollar bills. Plunger in the poopcorn. Guy cuts off his own leg. And a bear that spins down the lane of complete weird-ness, again. Enjoy!…

Updates galore. This week we beta test the live and a few get to join in. We rap about the forums, podcast alley, and altered states radio. Man VS Wild come back on June 15. More water at the survival school. Bob Barker Bitches Out. Nobody's story. And Meg wants a half of a man to sleep with. You guess which half. Enjoy!…

This week is kinda of a fan run show. All these topics were by you guys. Mostly we get to the shit we promised you last week. Man fights a leopard, A Dutch reality show that we love, the gauntlet teaser. Meg has car issues and whore issues. Nobody found 1500 pairs of shoes, Nostra-Dan, and the Eagles DO suck! Enjoy!
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GuyCast Live Bitches! This week we go over GC live, alterstates radio, podcast alley numbers and the spike guys choice awards. Also we talk about Pirates 3 and Tristan and Adams trip to Atlantic City. Theres beer pong, gambling, a royal flush and he beach. I know who killed me, and a DOA movie with Jamie Presley! Enjoy!…

Doc tells kids in High School to have sex and do drugs! Babies in the microwave, and beating a ho with a hoe. Good Luck, Happy Holiday and Enjoy!…

Oil companies suck a dick, everybody knows it. We go over it a little today. We talk about how stupid it is and how it effects people, even here in shitsville Md. Tristan gets pwned by a online poker bot. And a couple of movie reviews to relax on. Enjoy!…

Have you eve wished that some hot girl would just tell you how exactly to please a woman?  Well if your an IT nerd in your 30's who's never had sex, than you're in luck. Because we've found just the service. In other news, AT&T is using your cyber sex transcripts for jerk bank material, and...we get a story about shit...hopefully next time it more retard and less shit.  Enjoy!…

It's just Adam and Tristan today. Opie and Anthony have aparently been fired for something that happens in pretty much the opening 10 seconds of our show, every show. Referees are once again in the spotlight for being retarded, and just in case you needed a little "help" cleaning your little friend, the Weener Cleener comes to the rescue.…

Craig, you sir, are one gay, fucked up fan my friend. However, this is why why like you. Craig gracefully tells us how to fuck a goat. Then Adam steers us into whats gay and whats not. And we have concluded IF your girl really has a deep seeded fantasy for straping on a huge dildo and fucking you in the ass, your not gay. Sure...anyways our supe sexy brain surgeon nuro-chemical-engineer-doctor-thingy-lady BransRus is back with a great revenge, Alex wants a pig alarm, and Nostrodamus graces - no wait - saves this episode by making us look like we appeal to really smart people. Enjoy!…

Ok you bitchmade slackers! You fucks actually made us look good! Thanks! congrats to us and you for making us 8th comedy podcast in the world. Spiderman 3 sucks big hair goat balls. Along with how to write a trilogy. A night in Paris in jail with a fist from a dyke. Dale Jr. is going to die for being a bitch. Guys dies for money and water. And the sparkling wiggles responses are for fucktards. Enjoy!…

Catch a pred update, some listener emails, one from phsyc nurse, a condom in a kids meal, the use of Semen. The best auto theft to date, condoms to small for indians. Tristan loves candle power lights from autozone. Oh yeah, Sony loves killing goats. Enjoy!…

Long Show today. Spidey 3, Malaika tells us Drive is canceled. A crazy trailer for Black Sheep. A little recap of Sunday at Atlantic City. Little bit of the NFL Draft, Brady Quinn, trends in the draft. Racism in the NBA. AND FINALLY THE PASTAFARIANS!…

Welcome back kids this week we give a bit of an update on the world of warcraft whore. The we go over some info on the football player that was shot by freindly fire over in Iraq. Adam Cant say Cunt. Some info about Nobody. ANd a great story from Nobody and Tristan tells his story as well. Damn Vandals! Enjoy!…

Ok, Well this week cover some sports updates and then we start rambling about TV. As usual with this show, Tristan probably had a ton of material written down for today show, but derailed it into whatever comes about, so that being said, Enjoy!
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We cover some serious ground in this episode. Ok here goes...We go over Smokin Aces, Zaldor writes in, Ticklah has a wee for a wii follow up, the new car called Tesla, some high school romance and a prom prank, Robin tells us about tatoos on eBay, Another paying with pennies dude, Jenna has a brand new Vag, Wife leaves disabled hubby in parking lot, Men Like Tits, Fuzz lets us in on some Craigs List Whore, and last but certainly not least BrainsRUs tells us about a guy that has to marry a goat. Enjoy!…

Well This is a hell of a week. First we have a request from the famous Glamour Magazine for all you guys out there. They would like to know if you have been trashed by an ex via the internet. Let us know if you have, please. Secondly and most importantly we discuss what happened at VT this past week. Enjoy!
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So this week its all about the nice room. What does that mean? Well lets just say Tristan and his girl got caught a couple of times. And by caught I mean doing the nasty in the nicest room in Susans house, as her sister walked in. Good Luck! Enjoy!…

Welcome Back! This week we go over the whole Imus deal. Actually we take up the whole damn show about it. Mainly we talk about how media affects people or forces us to feel emotion on certain subjects. This show wont rank as one of our funnier ones, but here at GuyCast, we like to keep things on a even keel. Yeah Right! Enjoy!…

Ok, so this week we go over some stuff from Fuzz. Such wonder-ific topics include the Masterbating Trespasser, and Fresh Meats. A rough neck brute bitch from the penn beats the shit out of a pro. We babble on about some movies and stuff. And yet again a little bit on Pyrovian, again.
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Welcome Back Adam! We celebrate by talking about how much you suck at picking NCAA Tourney picks! We move on with a little April Fools jokes, Tristan rates the rise of taj, and Children of Men. And finally, drunk women are ok to bang! Enjoy!
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So this week we talk about Whacko Jacko, The return of the Enzo, little bit of poopcorn, and new term for a hand job and the anti rape condom. Enjoy!
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What up Bitches? this weeks lesson? Cops are fucktards. We got some info on Bum Rush The Charts. A little NCAA tourney jam without Adam again, hes sick. Some props to NASCAR, my story about a dick cop, and some abortion cards that say more than sorry. Enjoy!…

So this week a guy gets pissed about his gas bill, and pays in pennies. More on god damned Pyrovian, an Israeli Ambassador, and some funny sotries from Fuzz. Such tales include World Beer Records, Senior Citizen Discounts at the local Whore House, and Godfather type shit with a girls dog. Enjoy!…

Adam Joins via the cell phone for a few minutes on the Tourney Updates. Then we head down the audio road of wonderful Atlantic City. Ahh, the bright lights, the wafting aroma of dirty old whores and shit laden streets. This one is an instant classic!…

Tristan starts off by lying. We have a little more Bracket updates. Fag Handle is a gay man's penis, just so you know. Wed Mach 22 - Go Bum Rush The Charts, go there. A man has 6 children by 6 different women. Pyrovian is a whacked out mother fucker, again. The funniest thing on Craigs List. Tristan botches the end of the show so we wing it. Good Luck!…

Welcome Back! This week its Adams birthday and we will do him the honor of talking about the Terps and the March Madness. We went out for drinks to celebrate and now I dont remember what the rest of the show is about. I know its funny though! Enjoy!…

Happy Birthday to me! Anyways, this week we talk about some more of the brackets, the Gala, Mind Controlled Video Games, and obviously Uncle Poopcorn gets in some ol fashion dirty emails to us! Enjoy!…

Welcome Back Bitches! THis week it's all about the women. No just us bashing them. First we hit a little about Bum Rush The Charts, then we move on to some college hoops chat. A little racing and then we move on to International Womens Day. Good Fucking Luck Guys! Enjoy!…

Ok so this week the show is pretty much run by you guys...lets hear what you have to say....Enjoy!
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Ok this week we tackle some updates an news and such. If your too damn dumb to figure it out, let me explain. You see, as amazing listeners of GuyCast, you fuckers manage to send us the most retarded yet delightfully entertaining crap. Well, like the shitter at the local bar, the crap piles up. So we expunge our bowels of useless, ass-factory send-ins back upon you. Good Luck!…

i heard the episode that read about the time nostradamus dan (or was it craig from scotland)told you about the time he got to use a messed up gun well i have something funnier or so i think..

you see im only 13 but i am a raging pyro (dont worry i will not become an arsonist) one day my buddy awhose name is aaron but i shouldnt tell you that and i found a blowtorch in my moms bathroom when we were chasing my cat. i had some spare change so i decided to see what melted copper looked like. mind you i didnt know that pennies are not all copper. i put a penny on a ceramic sink and fired up my newfound friend and put it on high. i eventually suceeded in melting the penny into a few drops of metal.then i heard a car  and without thinking  swept the molten liguid like substance into a plastic cup and from said chalice in to my hand i then proceded to screech like a feline who has fallen in to a hell of water but with fire instead of water and my hand instead of a cat. i then had 3 tear drop brands on my hand after burning my self with extreem displeasure i fut my other hand on the exeedingly hot ceramic sink. i hope you know that ceramic retains and shares heat. after about 3 minutes of licking my wounds (not literaly) i was then fine. i went in to my garage andmelted all of the change in my pocket. at last i had a lump of change equaling about ten dollars. i then went to my buds corner store and used the lump to buy candy apparently he collected melted money..............…

Heres the deal, Samuel L and Christina Ricci and a big ass chain. So first it was snakes on a plane and now its coked out white girls and a chain! Good Luck Sammy! Anyways ejoy the show!…

Adam and I tackle one more episode without Jeff.  Peta goes back to the Naked well, with better results this time. A $100 fine for a snow cock.  And a unique way of teaching your kids about the birds and the bees.  Finally, after a little bit of a break, we get another sliver from the life of Nostradamus Dan. Enjoy.…

Sorry guys I've been sorta busy today, but enjoy the show with Tristan and Adam!…

Ever wonder who comes up with all those porn titles you love so much? Well fuck if we know, but this week we have the some of the top 100 worst porn names. I'm not even gonna discuss what else we talk about, you'll just have to find out! Enjoy!…

So this week we go over the Super Bowl, Manning and the Colts. We also talk about so send-ins from Gordon and J-Rod as well as the movie Crank. And I think someone gets hit with a stun gun.…

So Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are going to de-flower little nerd boys. Women want bigger tits, and we want them to have them! This is another tit-a-lating discussion of tits. Yes i know EVERYONE uses that term, but there just isnt anything that compares to that word. I could try boob-a-licious or HOLY SHIT, THOSE ARE SOME FUCKING TITS!, but that wouldnt be the norm. Enjoy!…

Hey, were back and in this episode we discuss the super bowl, like anyone really cares. Tristan picks up the "Express" paper and more good news is presented. Then we get to Automated Parking, Naked Coffee, and Beyonce is a fantasy. Then Boston has bombs. Then a nice story from Andrew about how to chop off your manhood. Enjoy!…

So Criag form Scotland wants to know what T-Ball is. Don't worry Craig we here at GuyCast are dedicated to forcing you to learn the ways of the American Lifstyle! Moving on, we have a kick ass guy of the week with a kid! You'll see why. Gordon sends in some more good shit, as well as Fuzz does the same! Komodo Dragons can have kids without fucking - I say wheres the fun in that? And little bit of Gay Sheep Research to wrap things up! Enjoy!…

Ok So how about we talk about some football updates for the playoffs, state of the union address and the undress as well from PETA. Water Intoxication, pay attention, drink to much wate you can die. A great microwave on top the H2 hummer. Great for getting the clothes off women. As well as a lady that dies from a plane jump. Enjoy!…

This is is a movie review week, we cover a few of the new ones that are going to come out. We take a gander at Oceans 13, Ghost Rider, Iron Man, Spiderman 3 and Transformers. Not to mention a few things going on around the world like Adultery equals life in prison. How to fail a drug test the GuyCast way. Enjoy!…

Ok so this week we cover some sports, actually, we cover alot of sports and then move on to some David Beckham, Barry Bonds is a dick and polish it off with a little porn and some racism. All in all its an eventfull day. Enjoy!…