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Last update: 2012-09-17

Eps 46 What is Healthy Spirituality? pt 7

2012-09-17
Length: 13s

   In this episode we look another key value for healthy spirituality, self control, and its corresponding vice of gluttony.  Gluttony is an old english world that is hardly used anymore.  Usually it is understood to refer to an obsession with food.  However, such overindulgence can apply to many other things such as alcohol, the Internet and other activities.  As we saw with the problem of greed, there is an underlying issue of self-delusional thinking with gluttony.  This brings us right back to the false self.  Once the problem of self-delusional thinking has been identified, we can begin to unravel the false self, and our ability to maintain self control will increase.

     Next time we will look at the key value of caring and its corresponding vice of sloth or apathy.

     This series is based on my new book, Why Are We Here?, which can be viewed at  craigowen.net


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Eps 45 What is Healthy Spirituality? Pt 6

2012-08-03
Length: 15s

     In this episode we will look at the value of generosity and its opposite, greed.  How we define greed will be depend on where and when we live.  Greed is not only about money but can include such things as power and recognition.  Behind the problem of greed there is a specific self-delusion or faulty thinking, which is connected to the false self.

     In the next episode we will look at another value that is important to have for healthy spirituality.

   To learn more about the book on which this series is based, Why Are We Here?,

go to craigowen.net.


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Eps 44 What is Healthy Spirituality? pt 5

2012-06-20
Length: 18s

      What happens when we go through spiritual transformation?  The false self is dismantled.  A brief description of this process is offered.  For a more detailed explanation of the unraveling of the false self, see Episodes 12 & 13 on What is Spiritual Love?.  

     In this episode we will concentrate on the two most basic values that we learn in spiritual transformation: compassion and humility.  A definition and explanation of humility and compassion is discussed. 

In the next episode we will look at some additional values that we learn through

spiritual transformation.

For more information on the book on which these podcasts are based,  Why Are We Here?, see my

website at www.craigowen.net




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Eps 43 What is Healthy Spirituality? Pt 4

2012-05-26
Length: 9s

     In this episode we look at a definition of healthy spirituality.  One of the key ideas is that spirituality is a lifelong processs, not a one time event.  We also need to be in community with others for the process of spirituality to work.  Healthy spirituality fully engages our minds, it does not require us to believe blindly.

     In the next episode, we will look at some of the specific values that are involved with the process of healthy spirituality.

 

This series is based on my new book, Why Are we Here?, which can be viewed at

craigowen.net

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Eps 42 What is Healthy Spirituality? Pt 3

2012-03-13
Length: 10s

When someone says "I am spiritual but not religious," what do they mean?  In this episode we will look at two possible answers.  One is that someone shares some of the beliefs of a particular tradition but does not participate in organized religious observances.  A second answer could be a person who has pieced together beliefs from several religious traditions.  While these answers are helpful, they are missing a key element of spiritual- commitment to a community.

            In the next episode we will look what I believe is the best understanding of spirituality.

 

This series is based on my new book, Why Are we Here?, which can be viewed at

craigowen.net


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Eps 41 What is Healthy Spirituality? Pt 2

2012-02-05
Length: 10s

    Before we can get an idea of what is healthy spirituality, we must have an idea of how religion is not the same thing as spirituality.  In this episode, we will look at what I think is a good understanding of religion.  Many people, perhaps most, are comfortable with organized religious services, some simple forms of devotion and activities with their religious community.  They seek nothing more in their religious faith.  But for others, especially younger people, this is not enough.  People with a more mystical attitude want to experience the divine in their daily lives.  They might tell people that "I am spiritual but not religious." Here we begin to see how spirituality is not the same as religion.  Next time we will look at what people mean by saying they are spiritual but not religious. 

 

     This series is based on my new book, Why Are we Here?, which can be viewed at

craigowen.net

 



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Eps 40 What is Healthy Spirituality? Pt 1

2012-01-18
Length: 11s

     In this episode we are moving in a new direction.  This will be the first of several episodes that looks at the question 'What is healthy sprituality?'  We do not have to look far to see examples of bad spirituality, so it is important to know what the good kind looks like.  Before we can answer that question, though, we must look at several issues.  First, what is religion?  What is faith?  Is spirituality different from religion and faith?

     In this first installment, we will look at a couple of definitions of religion, one positive and one negative.  We will learn something from each that helps us get closer to a workable understanding of what is religion.

This new series is based on my new book "Why Are We Here?' which can be viewed at

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Are-We-Here-Seeing/dp/0578073749/ref=sr_1_7?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1312128443&sr=1-7

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Eps 39 Does Love Survive Death?

2011-12-28
Length: 8s

    Perhaps the ultimate question we all face is do we survive beyond death?  In the context of this series, the question would become 'Does love survive beyond death?'  Many of you listening have lost loved ones, as have I.  You cannot help but wonder does the love we still feel for the ones we lost tell us anything?  Is it futile to still love someone who is no longer here, or is it a sign of something beyond this life?

     In the the next episode we will start a new series about faith and spirituality, based on my recent book WHY ARE WE HERE?

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Eps 38 What is Family Love?

2011-09-16
Length: 11s

     In this episode, we will look at a love that is closely related Marital Love, which is Family love.  I offer a suggested definition of family love and then examine it phrase by phrase.  Not everyone who is in a marriage chooses to have children, but for those who do, my suggested definition might be helpful.

     In the next episode, we will look at the question of whether or not love survives beyond death.

This podcast series is based on my book, The Six Faces of Love, which can be viewed at

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000279633

Hear my original music at http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen


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Eps 37 What is Marital Love? pt 3

2011-08-27
Length: 14s

     When is a marriage no longer workable?  This is a difficult question to answer in a short podcast.  I discuss the spirituality of marital love to offer a suggested answer to the question.  I look at two common mistakes couples make regarding the spiritual stages and rates of spiritual growth of their partners. Very seldom are a husband and wife at the spiritual stages or experiencing spiritual growth at the same rate.   Failing to understand these two things can cause stress in a marriage that is completely unnecessary.  I also offer one measure of the health of a marriage regarding both partners' approach to each other's spiritual growth. 

     In the next episode we will look at family love, one that is closely related to but not the same as marital love.

 

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at:

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000279633

Check out my original music at

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen





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Eps 36 What is Marital Love? Pt 2

2011-07-09
Length: 11s

     When is a couple ready to get married?  In the past, one answer was that individuals must first do therapy and become emotionally mature before they should get married.  When I gave pre-marital counseling to couples and tried to use this answer, I found something unusual.  No couple I counseled seemed to meet this test, where both people had completley reached emotional maturity.  I discuss how I modified my approach in counseling engaged couples, changing the 'therapuetic' model that was unrealistic in its demands.

     Next time we will look at two closely related questions: How do you keep a marriage going? and How do you know when a marriage will no longer work?

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen



 

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Eps 35 What is Marital Love? pt 1

2011-04-01
Length: 9s

     In this episode, we begin one of several in a series on what is marital and family love?  These first few will focus on what is marital love.  We begin by recalling Peter and Cheryl, the couple we looked at in the episodes about romantic love.  Peter and Cheryl have worked through there problems, and now they desire to stay together indefinitely.  Are they ready for marriage?  I suggest a definition of marital love to help answer the question Peter and Cheryl are facing about should they get married.  In my definition I suggest that companionship is the heart of marital love.

     How can a couple reach the point of being ready for marriage?  This is the question we will take up in the next episode.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

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Eps 34 Community Love & Joyful Faith

2011-01-15
Length: 13s

     In this episode we look at joyful faith and how it impacts the experience of community love.  Joyful faith is focused more on the future and our efforts to become better people.  The joy in joyful faith comes from the belief that God gives us the strength and guidance to become more than we are at our worst.  In contrast, fearful faith focuses on our sinfulness, imperfections and failures.  The key values of joyful faith are forgiveness and reconciliation, the two values I have used in my definition of community love.  In comparison, fearful faith has the key values of anger, judgment, and exclusiveness.  Jane's rejection of her life long friend Laura shows that Jane is acting out of fearful faith.  Perhaps Jane would have kept her friendship with Laura if Jane had experienced joyful faith instead of fearful faith.

     In the next episode we will begin several installments on what are marriage and family love.

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Eps 33 Community Love & Fearful Faith

2010-12-22
Length: 11s

     In this episode, we look at fearful faith and how it can have a negative impact upon community love.  Fearful faith usually has an image of God as being angry and judgmental of sinful humans.  Unless we believe the right things, we are all condemned to eternal punishment.  While this kind of faith is quite common, it creates problems for the experience of community love.  Anger and judgmentalness may become the primary values of community love as practiced by a group that believes in fearful faith.  Jane's rejection of her lifelong friend Laura shows that Jane has fearful faith.  Anger and judgmentalness are directed at Laura by Jane, which may be the key values in Jane's religious community. 

     In the next episode we will look at joyful faith, which can provide a more positive experience of community love.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen 

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 32 Community Love Gone Wrong Pt 2

2010-11-26
Length: 12s

     In the last epsiode, we examined Jane's mistaken belief that she could only be friends with people who shared her religious beliefs.  In this episode, we will look at another, but related, mistaken belief.  Jane believes that she should be friends with everyone within her religious community.

     Many religious people assume since everyone in their religious community shares the same beliefs, then they can all be friends with one another.  This reflects confusion between fellowship and friendship, which are not the same.  Assuming that everyone within a religous community can be friends becomes dangerous when friendship is forced upon people within a group.  When intimacy is forced upon people, they will develop feelings of anger and resentment.  While people may stifle their feelings of anger and resentment, they will still come out in destructive ways, both within the group and in attitudes towards nonbelievers outside of the group.

     In the next episode we will look at the root of Jane's confusion, the kind of faith she is experiencing.  The kind of faith one experiences will greatly impact the quality of the community love one shares with others.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 31 How Community Love Goes Wrong Pt 1

2010-10-13
Length: 13s

     Last time we explored the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation.  Now we can begin to look at how Jane has gone wrong in her understanding of community.  Jane has the mistaken, and dangerous, belief that she can only be friends with people who have the same religious beliefs as her.  When Laura would not see things her way, Jane rejected her as an unworthy friend.  Such an exclusive attitude can be very destructive of relationships between family and friends.  At the extreme it can lead to violence and loss of life.  Based on Jane's behavior towards Laura, it is clear that Jane's religious community does not focus upon the values of forgiveness and reconciliation.

     Like many people of faith Jane confuses friendships and community love.  We will take a closer look at this mistaken belief of Jane's next time.

 

 This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

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Eps 30 Forgiveness & Reconciliation: How They Are Different

2010-09-18
Length: 12s

      Last time we explored a proposed definition of community love.  Forgiveness and reconciliation are key values in community.  In this episode we explore how forgiveness and reconciliation are different.  Many people think they are the same but they are not.  We consider the story of a father and son who have not spoken much to each other for years.  The relationship between them went badly after the son refused to go along with what the father wanted the son to study in college.  Attempting to overcome his own resenment and anger at the father, the son tries to repair their relationship.  Can the son forgive his father?  Can they be reconiled?  Here we will see a clear illustration of how these releated ideas are distinct. 

     In the next episode we will return to the story of Jane and Laura.  Jane has wrongly rejected her lifelong friendship with Laura because of religious differences.  We will see how Jane has gone wrong in her understanding of community love and friendship.

     This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

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Esp 29 Community Love Defined

2010-08-22
Length: 12s

     In the last episode, we looked at the story of Jane and Laura.  Jane had recently experienced a religious conversion and had joined a Christian group.  Because Laura did not share her specific beliefs, Jane rejected their lifelong friendship. Before we can learn how Jane has gone wrong in her understanding of community love,  we must first define what it is.  I offer my suggested definition of community love and unpack its meaning. 

     Two of the key values upon which community love focuses are forgiveness and reconciliation.  Jane's behavior does not reflect these values.  Instead, Janes seems to show anger and even desperation more than anything.  Many people believe that forgiveness and reconciliation sre the same, but they are actually quite different.  In the next episode we will explore forgiveness and reconciliation and how Jane has missed understanding them.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

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Eps 28 Laura & Jane: Faith & Friendship Collide

2010-08-02
Length: 9s

     Jane and Laura had been close friends since childhood.  All of that changed when Jane had a religious conversion experience.  Jane ended their longtime friendship because Laura was "not a believer."  Laura was devastated.  How could a religion supposedly about love lead someone to reject a lifetime friendship?  Laura was determined to have nothing to do with organized religion in the future.

     Jane's behavior toward Laura betrays great confusion about several different loves: spiritual love, friendship and community love.  When one belongs to a particular religious community, should you only have friends who believe as you do?  Should you be expected to be friends with everyone in your particular religious community?  How do spiritual love and community love relate to each other?  These and other questions are universal, having implications for what ever faith community you belong to, Christian, Muslim, Jew or otherwise.  

    In the next episode, we will begin to unravel Jane's confusion by looking at a suggested definition of community love.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be found at

http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/Bookstoresearchresults.aspx?Searchtype=smpl&searchterm=Craig+owen

 

Check out my original music at

http://www.cdbaby.com/all/cowen



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Eps 27 Intense Jealousy Pt 3

2010-07-10
Length: 14s

     At last, we have reached the point of discusssing how to decrease the intensity of jealousy.  We will briefly touch on subjects covered in the previous episodes on spiritual love.  The intensity of jealousy can be gradually reduced through a meditational practice called Contemplative Prayer.  Over the weeks and months of practice, the false self is unraveled one piece at a time.  As we grow in understanding of humility and compassion, we are able to step back from our feeling jealousy.  Jealousy never completely disappears, but we are no longer obsessed or dominated by it.  This kind of existence is much more peaceful for us, and for those we love.

     Next time, we will begin on the subject of community love, an important form of love that helps facilitate the growth and practice of spiritual love.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

 

 

 

Check out my original music at:

 

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 26 Intense Jealousy Pt 2

2010-06-17
Length: 12s

    In the last episode we ran across an old friend that we looked at back in the episodes on spiritual love- the false self.  The false self is one of the major reasons jealousy can be so intense.  The false self leads us to believe that the essence of our identity is basically the things we own or groups to which we belong.  We especially make the mistake of identifying the "I-ness  of me" with our closest relationships.   No wonder we go bonkers when we feel jealousy about a loved one. 

     Now that we have identified why jealousy can  be so intense, what can be done to reduce the intensity of jealousy?  This will be our topic for next time.

 

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

 

 

Check out my original music at:

 

 

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 25 Intense Jealousy Pt 1

2010-05-24
Length: 13s

    Why is jealousy so intense?  Why does it become so consuming?  We explore some possible answers to these questions in this episode.  One reason jealousy becomes so intense is the urgent questions we feel when our significant other seems to be interested in a possible rival.  We worry that when our partner gets close to another person we will lose the specialness of our relationship.  However, the main reason we feel intense jealousy is that we feel our very sense of self is directly threatened.  Why we feel this way brings us back to the false self, a topic we looked at in the episodes on spiritual love.

     In the next episode we will look at how the false self plays into jealousy and contributes to the intensity of jealousy.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 24 Experiencing Jealousy

2010-04-29
Length: 13s

     We begin this episode with a definition of jealousy.  With jealousy defined, we can now take a close look at the experience of jealousy.  What is it that we go through when jealousy has a hold of us?  As we saw with envy in the last episode, jealousy has both its good and bad aspects.  Jealousy can alert us about serious feelings for someone we had not noticed before.  Jealousy can warn us that we are bumping up against the limits of what a relationship can sustain regarding stress or other problems. Too often jealousy is not positive, but very negative.  It can be so overpowering that it can destroy the very relationship it is seeking to protect.  Why is jealousy so intense?  How does it become so obsessive as to turn destructive, as it did with John and Kara?  We will begin to answer those questions in the next episode.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed athttp://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 23 Jealousy & Envy: How Are They Different?

2010-04-09
Length: 11s

 In this episode we look at two different but related emotions:  Jealousy and Envy.  People often get these two emotions mixed up.  For example, someone may notice your nice new car.  They come up to you and say "You have a lovely car.  I sure am jealous of you."  What they really mean is that they are envious of you. Or say your wife, girlfriend or significant other starts talking to a handsome younger fellow at a party.  You start to feel uneasy and a little anxious, and then you decide it is time for you and your partner go back home and wash your car!  This would be an example of jealousy. 

 It is important to know how jealousy and envy are different.  We will continue to talk about jealousy in the next Episode.  I will give a formal definition of jealousy which we will unpack in the style of earlier podcasts. 

     

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

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Eps 22 Kara & John: Jealousy Turned Deadly

2010-03-19
Length: 8s

We begin the first of several episodes on the troubling emotion of jealousy.  If you have ever felt love for anyone, you almost certainly have experienced jealousy.  Not much is said about this emotion, but it is something that I expect many, if not most people wrestle with.  I tell the story of John and Kara.  This is based on a tragic but true relationship, where jealousy became deadly.  I did not know the people personally, but I may have passed them on the street.  The terrbible climax of this story occurred not far from where I used to work and live, and it affected me greatly.  All kinds of questions come to mind- why would anyone feel so desperate as to take their own life and the life of the one they supposedly loved?  How can jealousy go so wrong?  Can jealousy be stopped or at least controlled?  Before we can start to answer these questions, we must first be clear about what is jealousy.

In the next episode, we will take a look at this emotion of jealousy and get a handle on what is it exactly.  We will study a close cousin of jealousy that it is often confused with it- envy. 

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

 

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Eps 21 Happiness & Love pt 2

2010-02-22
Length: 13s

In this episode we wrap the last few episodes on love and happiness.  How do the different loves relate to happiness?  How does romantic love fit into happiness?  How does spiritual love fit into happiness?  If we are plugged into the Plan or Process that is at the heart of happiness, what might the lifeafter look like?  These and other issue are what we will look at in this last installment  on happiness.

Beginning in the next episode we will start looking at the dark side of love, the problem of jealousy.  It is a huge problem for many people, yet I have not seen much written about it.  We will look at one story of jealousy, work out a definition of jealousy, see how it works and how it can go wrong.  Most importantly, we will try to come up with suggestions on how to get a handle on jealousy before it turns destructive.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

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Eps 20 Happiness & Love Pt 1

2010-01-24
Length: 15s

     In this Episode we will begin looking at the relationship between love and happiness.  We will look in particular at one of the two questions we ended with last time:  How do you know when you are in the flow of the Plan or Process of my suggested definition of happiness?  What is the everyday evidence we look to in holding onto the hope of this approach to happiness?  Several episodes back, I was looking for an explanation of happiness that would meet several demands.  One was that this would be accessible to all people. Two, that it would be durable through difficult times. Finally, it would offer a more encompassing worldview than the simple view "Love will make you happy" or "happiness is moderation in all things." It is my hope that this episode will show how these demands can be satisfied.

    In the next episode we will take up the last of my two questions, how
do the different loves relate to my suggested definition of happiness.



This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen





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Eps 19 What is Happiness, pt 2

2010-01-06
Length: 14s

   We continue to explore my suggested definition of happiness.  Happiness has been notoriously hard to capture.  One famous saying suggests you never catch happiness when you seek it directly, it only comes to you when you are busy doing other things, like a butterfly gently landing on your shoulder. I borrow a phrase from another writer who describes this slippery aspect  of happiness as "transcending anticipation." Transcending means something that rises above the present moment, that stands beyond time.  Anticipation is the feeling or desire that we want to arrive somewhere, achieve something, but we never quite get there. Jill is experiencing "transcending antipication" in the vague restlessness she feels.  We look at what that is and where it comes from in this particular episode.

   The next episode will be one of the most important I will ever post in this series.  We will look at two questions.  First, how can you tell when you are in the Plan or Process I talk about in my suggested defintion of happiness?  Second, how do happiness and love fit together?  We can pull together some of the key observations about love we have seen in earlier episodes and get a general view of love and happiness, a goal towards which we have been slowly working these past several months.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 18 What is Happiness, pt 1

2009-12-15
Length: 13s

In this episode, we will take a look at my proposed definition of happiness and see how it applies to Jill's situation.  What I suggest is a religious definition of happiness.  While I am writing from a specific religious tradition, I have tried to make my definition of happiness as broad as possible.  It is my hope that my definition of happiness might be a source of interfaith dialogue between the different religions.  Finally,  I cannot claim with certainty that my definition of happiness is completely original with me.  I have not seen this definition anywhere in various articles or books.   It is possible some theologians or philosophers may have come up with a similar idea over the centuries, but I have not had time to read widely enough to know.

     In the next episode, we will continue our discussion of my proposed definition of happiness.

 

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 17 What Happiness is Not

2009-11-24
Length: 10s

     In Episode 17, I take a look at an ancient definition of happiness.  This view of happiness goes back at least 2,500 years to the time of Aristotle in ancient Greece. The story of Jill from the last episode is a good illustration of Aristotle's view on happiness, good and bad.  While it is a familiar idea, I do not think it measures up to what people are really seeking.  Looking over an approach to happiness that does not work will get us closer to an understanding of happiness that will work. 

     In the next episode, I will offer my suggested definition of happiness.  We will spend the next few episodes unpacking that definition to see what are its implications.

    

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 16 Jill Has It all, Except Happiness

2009-11-02
Length: 9s

     In this episode 16, we begin several installments on the question What is Happiness?  In previous episodes we have come across this question before.  Is love enough to make us happy?  I have suggested that the answer is no, love by itself cannot make us happy.  I avoided any further details about this question, until now.

     We begin with the story of Jill.  At first glance, it would seem that Jill has it all-- financial stability, family, friends, romantic love.  Jill feels she should be happy, but she is not.  She feels instead a vague sense of sadness and restlessness.  Jill feels as if she wants to go somewhere-- but where?  She wants to do something with her life-- but what?  When the death of a close friend shakes her complacent little world, she begins to ask the big questions.  Is there a God?  Is there anything after death?

     The big question behind the questions Jill is asking is What is Happiness?  How do we know it when we see it, or when we do not have it?  In the next episode we will look at some possible answers to that question.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 15 Romantic & Spiritual Love: What's the Difference?

2009-10-06
Length: 13s

     What could Larry & Beth have done differently that might have kept them from breaking up?  Larry kept going from one relationship to another, never satisfied with whom ever he was with.  What mistakes was Larry making?  He was confusing spiritual and romantic love, expecting to find both in the same relationship.  This is an unrealistic expectation, because the two loves have very different goals and thus require significantly different realtionships.  I explain what is the difference between spiritual and romantic love.  In addition, I offer some suggestions for what might help keep couples together even if the two partners are in different places along the spiritual journey.

     In the next episode, we will begin to look at the question, what is happiness?  How is happiness related to the different loves?  We will begin with the story of Jill.  Jill seemed to have everything you could want- love, a good job, financial stability.  And yet, Jill was not happy.  Why wasn't she happy?  All of these questions and more will be looked at beginning in episode 16.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

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Eps 14 What is Spiritual Love, Pt3

2009-09-19
Length: 15s

In Episode 14, we take a look at the rest of my suggested definition of spiritual love.  A major point of debate on spiritual love is the question of whether or not spiritual love is unconditional or reciprocal.  Is spiritual love offered with no expectation of the other person responding back to us the same way?  If we do not expect the other person to respond, then spiritual love is unconditional.  If we offer spiritual love to another person and we do expect them to respond to us in the same way, then spiritual love is reciprocal.  How these questions are answered will determine how we put spiritual love into practice.

     In the next episode, we will look at what Beth and Larry could have done differently that might have saved their relationship from ending.  In particular, we will look at how Larry has been confusing spiritual and romantic love in his expectations about relationships.  Perhaps we can avoid making the same mistake Larry has been making since we now have an understanding of what is spiritual love.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

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Eps 13 What is Spiritual Love, Pt 2

2009-08-29
Length: 15s

In Eps 13 I suggest a way of unraveling the false self.  This is the heart of spiritual love- dismantling the false self so that we may become more loving people.   The process of unraveling the false self requires that we make a conscious choice to begin the process and to cooperate with the process.  It does not happen automatically, like breathing. 

Revisiting the story of Larry & Beth, it is clear from Larry's behavior he needs to unravel his false self.  He keeps looking for his romantic relationships to give him spiritual fulfillment and happiness.  When this fails to happen, he breaks off the relationship and does it all over again.  Larry will remain stuck in this cycle of useless, unfulfilling relationships until he becomes aware of his false self and starts the process of dismantling it. 

In the next episode, we will explore the rest of my suggested definition of spiritual love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at 

craigowen.net

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Eps 12 What is Spiritual Love, Pt 1

2009-08-08
Length: 18s

In Episode 12, I suggest a definition of spiritual love.  There is no such thing as 'spirituality' singular, where all religions say the same thing.  For example, Judaism, Christianity and Islam each have their unique approach to spirituality.  And within each of these religions there are variety of approaches to spirituality.  Yet it is also inaccurate to say the many religions have nothing in common regarding spirituality.  I try to take a middle of the road approach, explaining the specific tradition from which I am writing, but giving an open ended definition of spiritual love that leaves room for common ground between religions.
     At the heart of spiritual love is the transformation of what mystics call the 'false self.'  I explain what is the false self, how it arises, and most of all what problems it causes.  Each of us suffers from the false self to some extent, but most people are completely unaware of it.   According to the mystics,  most of the bad things people do to one another-crime, wars, poverty- are caused by the false self.  The great and crucial task of spiritual love is to unravel and neutralize the false self in each of us.
     In episode 13 I will discuss just how the false self is unraveled, which is the main purpose of spiritual love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at craigowen.net

 




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Eps 11 Larry & Beth: Confused About Spiritual Love

2009-07-23
Length: 9s

In Episode 11, we begin several segments on spiritual love.  We start with the story of Larry & Beth.  Larry & Beth had their life planned out.  They would get married and start a family.  Larry went along until he was involved in a serious auto accident.  After recovering from his injuries, he discovered a hunger within himself.  He had to answer two basic questions: Why was his life spared in the auto accident?  Is life more than just what happens to him?  He broke up with Beth and spent several years trying to find answers to his questions. Larry was never satisfied in his relationships.  He would meet a woman, become involved and try to explain his spiritual quest.  Inevitably, his current love interest did not seem to understand, Larry would end it and begin the cycle yet again.  Larry woke up one day to a jolting realization: he was forty, alone and he still had no answers to his questions.
     What was Larry seeking?  Why was he never satisfied in his romantic relationships?  Larry was making at least two common mistakes.  First, he was confusing spiritual love with romantic love.  He expected his romantic relationship to give spiritual meaning to his life, give him a sense of purpose.  But this is more than romantic love can deliver.  Spiritual love and romantic love, while they can overlap, have distinctly different goals.  Second, Larry was expecting his romantic relationship to make  him happy.  But once again, this is more than romantic love can deliver.  Happiness is something larger and more complex than romantic love.  When Larry goes into his romantic relationships expecting more than they can deliver, that is almost a guarantee for failure.
     In Episode 12 we will look at my suggested definition of spiritual love and see where Larry and Beth went wrong.


This podcast series is based on my book "The Six Faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 




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Eps 10 Being in Love pt 2

2009-07-07
Length: 13s

In Episode 10, we conclude the discussion on how Peter and Cheryl can move from falling in love to being in love.  Before Peter and Cheryl can complete the process, they must first resolve the emotional deadlock into which they have fallen.  Cheryl feels she is more in love and more committed to the relationship than Peter.  Peter is feeling unjustly accused.  This kind of deadlock can happen at anytime in a relationship, not only when a couple is moving from falling in love to being in love.  Some suggestions are made on how to resolve this emotional deadlock. 
     We wrap up this part of the series on romantic love by asking if Peter and Cheryl are still in love, even though they are feeling emotionally conflicted at this point in their relationship.  By looking at my suggested definition of love in general from Episodes 1 & 2, we see that Peter and Cheryl are still very much in love.
     In Episode 11, we will begin several episodes on spiritual love by looking at the story of Larry and Beth


This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 



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Eps 9 Being In Love Pt 1

2009-06-19
Length: 11s

In Episode 9, we take a look at being in love and how that is different from falling in love.  Every romantic relationship must eventually shift from the passion of falling in love to being in love.  This is the only way the relationship can survive over time.  The heart of being in love is the process of the two partners coming to a more balanced understanding about each others' strengths and weaknesses.  To reach this balanced view of one another, Peter and Cheryl must understand that their relationship with each other is not the same as their love for one another. Once they understand this, it will be easier for them to deal with their crisis of confidence six months into their romance. 
    In Episode 10 we will cover Being In Love part 2 and wrap up this section on Romantic love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 




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Eps 8 Falling In Love: Is it Real?

2009-05-29
Length: 14s

In Episode 8, we take a look at the experience of falling in love.  Is falling in love real? Or is it just a fantasy we believe in, something that happens only in songs and movies?  Peter and Cheryl, the couple we looked at in Episode 6, are stuck, trying to move from falling in love to being in love.

Once we get an idea of what falling in love is about, we can see more clearly the difference between this and being in love. 
     In Episode 9, we will look at what is being in love and some suggestions on how to move from falling in love to being in love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 


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Eps 7 What is Romantic Love?

2009-05-13
Length: 9s

In Episode 7, I suggest a definition of romantic love.  We walk through the definition of romantic love, paying specific attention to what is it that is most unique about romantic love-- a hint: it is not sexual attraction, but something else.  We then revisit Peter and Cheryl who were having problems six months into their new romance.  The definition of romantic love sheds some light on what they are going through.  Peter and Cheryl are making the transition from falling in love to being in love, though they may not yet understand what that is. 

     In episode 8, we will look at what is the difference between falling in love and being in love and how to make that transition.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 


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Eps 6 Peter & Cheryl A Romance Gone Bad

2009-04-23
Length: 6s

In episode 6 we look at the story of Peter & Cheryl.  It is a very modern story about falling in love and then losing that feeling of excitement after awhile.  Peter & Cheryl had both gotten out of lousy relationships before they met.  The first couple of months were great when they were still falling in love.  But six months into the relationship, they are fighting, they see each others faults, and the excitment is gone.  They are close to calling it quits.  What happened?  First, they are making the transition from falling inlove to being in love.  Second, there is some confusion in their thinking that their relationship is the same as their love for each other.  In fact, those are two related but distinct things.  We cannot begin to explore want went wrong for Peter & Cheryl until we first have a definition of romantic love.  In episode 7, we will take a look at a definition of romantic love and what is unique about it.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

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Eps 5 Friendship, Intimacy & the other loves

2009-04-05
Length: 12s

In Episode 5, I finish up the three part series on friendship.  A major challenge to male-female friendships is the ideology of romantic love.  The ideology of romantic love tells us that we cannot be happy unless we find our one true partner, which severely restricts the possibilities of male-female friendships.  One way to get around this is to expand our understanding of intimacy, to see that sexual relations is not the only way for men and women to be intimate.   

 I spend some time explaining where we go from here.  The next few podcasts will be on romantic love, followed by several on spiritual love.  Then we will take a slight detour to look at what is happiness.  As we work our way through romantic love, spiritual  love and happiness, we will look at two common mistakes I see people make 1) They expect their romantic partners to make them happy, 2) people expect their romantic partner to give them a sense of spiritual meaning in life.  Romantic love cannot satisfy these expectations, which often leads to the needless failure of relationships.

In two weeks we will begin looking at romantic love with the story of Peter and Cheryl, how they feel in love, and what happened when the excitment of falling in love faded.

 

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

 

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Eps 4 Can lovers be best friends?

2009-03-18
Length: 11s

Episode 4 is the second part of my discussion on friendship.  I offer a definition of what is a best friend, which involves more than the definition of simple friendship we looked at last time.  Since our discussion on friendship began with male-female friendships, the topic in this episode naturally considers the question: Can lovers also be best friends?  Next time we will wrap up this section on friendship and consider another of the six loves, romantic love.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

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Eps 3 Men & women, just friends?

2009-02-28
Length: 9s

In episode 3, I begin to look at the love of friendship.  We start with the story of Kevin & Claire.  Kevin & Claire became close friends at work, but only friends.  It wasn't long before the ugly rumors began.  "How can a man and woman spend so much time together and not have an affair?"  This is the opening question:  Can men and women be 'just friends?' Or do male-female friendships always lead to romantic and sexual relations?  Before we can unravel these and other questions, I must first offer a definition of what is unique about friendship.  In the next episode I will look at the experience of best friends and beyond.

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

 

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Eps 2 Good & Bad Love

2009-02-28
Length: 13s

Last time I offered a definition of love in general, suggesting what all six loves have incommon.  Our work was not complete, however.  In this episode 2 I suggest three principles to help determine if what you have is an example of love, or something else.  I cannot guarantee that you always find success in love with the definition and three prinicples I have offered, but I hope it help you sort out good love from bad love.  Next time, in episode 3, I will begin to look at the love of friendship.…

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podcast alley registration

2009-01-20

<a href="http://www.podcastalley.com/"> My Podcast Alley feed!</a> {pca-57ec10b61eb5206d2fc52c157b550787}…

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Is it really love? Eps 1 Love defined

2009-01-10
Length: 9s

This podcast is the first in a continuing series that tries to answer the question "How do you know when you are in love?"  It is my belief that there are at least six different loves: friendship, romantic love, spiritual love, marital love, family love and community love.  But before we can discuss the specific loves we must first discuss what is love in general.  What do all six loves have in common?  This first podcast ( the file name is Love_1) suggests a definiton of love in general.  In a couple of weeks I will post part two.

     You might wonder who am I to try and answer such an important question about how do you know you are in love.  For what its worth, my "day job" is that of a college professor in philosophy.  But my real qualifications are that I have love many times, often bungling things pretty badly.  Out of the "school of hard knocks" I have developed this series.  I offer this not as the final answer, but as one person's attempt to find answers.  It is my hope that perhaps there will be something helpful for others in this ssereis.  After all, what is more important than love?

This podcast series is based on my book "The Six faces of Love" which can be viewed at http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/BookStoreSearchResults.aspx?SearchType=smpl&SearchTerm=craig+Owen

Check out my original music at:

http://cdbaby.com/all/cowen

 

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Is it really Love? Spiritual Way of the Six Loves

Is it really love? A continuing series on the six different loves.

Is it really Love? Spiritual Way of the Six Loves


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