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Last update: 2013-06-27

1801: RISK!

2013-06-27
Length: 58s

with Kevin Allison

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1800: Cleaning Out Your Closet

2013-06-26
Length: 1s

with Lauren Hennessy

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1799: You Don't Do Video!

2013-06-25
Length: 1s

"I would rip the throat outta your fuckin' neck and shove it up your asspipe!"

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1798: The Best Man

2013-06-13
Length: 1s

"This was my best friend at the start, and I tell ya, he and I will never be friends again."

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1797: Emotional Terrorism

2013-06-12
Length: 1s

"You have an emotion?! Fuck you."…

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1796: According to Jim

2013-06-11
Length: 53s

"I don't have anything to hide."

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1795: Do You Know Keith?

2013-06-10
Length: 58s

"It's like fuckin' nuclear war in Keith and The Girl. The only way to win is not to play."

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1794: Those Were the Days

2013-06-07
Length: 1s

"All the things the hit parade those were the days!"

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1793: In the Bag

2013-06-06
Length: 55s

"I think the government will have a nice time looking through Keith's phone records."

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1792: Family Gay

2013-06-05
Length: 1s

"People are so messed up like you."

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1791: If I Were a Rich Man

2013-06-04
Length: 1s

"Things were very very bad with us to the point where I thought she had poisoned my food that weekend."

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1790: Randy Hacker Threatened My Family’s Life and All I Got Were These Lousy Misspelled Tweets

2013-06-03
Length: 57s

"I do hope you and that little fucking kid of yours dies."

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1789: Get Hard

2013-05-31
Length: 1s

"I got kicked out of my house because of your show."

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1788: Yours Truly

2013-05-30
Length: 1s

"That's why it truly is something to believe in."

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1787: If Keith Was a Serial Killer

2013-05-29
Length: 1s

"You add kids into it, and you're adding in child butt-fuckin'. I'm just talking about killing here!"

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1786: A Punch in the Arm

2013-05-28
Length: 1s

"I don't think it lowers you. This is low enough."

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1785: Who's Lafferting Now?

2013-05-24
Length: 1s

"I happened to come across, through a fake friend of a fake friend, my high school bus bully."

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1784: Everything Bagel

2013-05-23
Length: 1s

"Fuck you Emmy die."

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1783: Tornado Alley

2013-05-22
Length: 1s

"I'm sorry for your loss. Go fuck yourself."

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1782: Who Fuckin' Knows

2013-05-21
Length: 1s

"What do you want; black, white, or oriental?! And I'm freakin' my brains out, man!"

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1781: Fart Wars

2013-05-20
Length: 1s

"I like to fart on people's asses and go, 'You farted.'"

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1780: Read the Book

2013-05-17
Length: 1s

"Wait; I'm not raping somebody, right?"

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1779: When Rape is Funny

2013-05-16
Length: 2s

"Excuse me; where is the 9/11?"

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1778: In Your Voice

2013-05-15
Length: 1s

"Happy Birthday; there's the door."

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1777: Healing Hands

2013-05-14
Length: 1s

"Do you know you're fuckin' insane?"

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1776: Dead Giveaway

2013-05-10
Length: 1s

"Okay, you're gonna rape me for askin' this..."

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1775: Movers and Shakers

2013-05-09
Length: 1s

"Just so you know, you're the worst, and you need to get your shit together."

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1774: The Brothers Grimm

2013-05-08
Length: 1s

"Bro, I knew somethin' was wrong when a little pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms. Somethin' is wrong here! Dead giveaway!"

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1773: Honesty's the Best Policy?

2013-05-07
Length: 53s

"Pee in the bush, and I will give you the best place to shit!"

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1772: Probably?

2013-05-06
Length: 1s

"I had a fondness for Satan."

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1771: Head Hunter

2013-05-03
Length: 1s

"Do you black handshake the pussy?"

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1770: Where in the World Is Patrick Carlin?

2013-05-02
Length: 48s

"She doesn't know how to wear a jacket she's so fuckin' horny."

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1769: The Odd Couple

2013-05-01
Length: 1s

"Keith is parading all of his drunk friends on the show today."

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1768: Nice to Meet You

2013-04-30
Length: 1s

"I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING THIS BARBARIC!"

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1767: Open Sore

2013-04-29
Length: 1s

"She's gonna be shocked at first. Probably even angry 'cause she knows you'll make a terrible dad..."

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1766: Full of Gass

2013-04-26
Length: 1s

"I can't believe this is a thing! This is what's gonna make the YouTube fuckin' clip of course!"

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1765: Tell the Bartender

2013-04-25
Length: 1s

"There's such a thin line to using your ass to get me hard and not killing me."

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1764: Makin' Magic

2013-04-24
Length: 1s

"How does it go from hacking into Chase to you end up in the hospital?"

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1763: Empowered

2013-04-23
Length: 1s

"It's the one where she's blowing the guy, she threw up, and she uses it as lube."

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1762: Temper-Pedic

2013-04-22
Length: 1s

"Get out! You are a loser!"

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1761: Temptation

2013-04-19
Length: 57s

"I wish I would have taken my career more seriously rather than sleeping on a bed."

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1760: Remake

2013-04-18
Length: 1s

"About to commit a robbery. Lemme check in on foursquare."

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1759: KATG Week 2013

2013-04-17
Length: 1s

"You'll never be the same."

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1758: Solar System of Jizz

2013-04-15
Length: 1s

Lauren and co-host Emmy count up to the bottom 10 things to gift a lover. Ever.

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1757: Come Here, Piggy Piggy Piggy

2013-04-04
Length: 1s

"Well, guess it's time to eat this wedding cake myself."

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1756: Harvard Sailing Team

2013-04-03
Length: 1s

"I guarantee he brought Elmo into bed."

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1755: Dan Sober

2013-04-02
Length: 1s

"Why can-ya ja-Keith jusakedtrhfgytj are we frens jus ask me akyestion!"

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1754: Love the Sinner

2013-04-01
Length: 1s

"If I knew that it was gonna end in a year and eight months, I certainly wouldn't have had fuckin' Elton John's Wedding of the Century."

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1753: Tall Order

2013-03-28
Length: 1s

"Look how happy this boy is right now. Look how thrilled to death at everyone's demise."

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1752: That Metal Show

2013-03-27
Length: 1s

"The union guys escorted me down to an office. I thought I was gonna get killed."

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1751: Sleep Study

2013-03-26
Length: 1s

"Cunt bitch! Die! You're fuckin' mean to people! You're a little bitch!"

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1750: Mattress King

2013-03-25
Length: 1s

"My dad doesn't know this; but, he loves me drunk."

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1749: The Howdy Ding Dynasty

2013-03-21
Length: 1s

"That is the last hot dog and Kool-Aid party you're ever invited to, funny guy."

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1748: Play On

2013-03-20
Length: 1s

"You ask me why they burn that smoke at the conclave? I think it's to hide evidence."

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1747: Hard Copy

2013-03-19
Length: 1s

"Second prize is a set of steak knives. What is third prize?"

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1746: A Serious Conversation

2013-03-18
Length: 1s

"Will you officiate the wedding? Bring the lube."

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1745: 5th Annual KATGuh Award Winners

2013-03-14
Length: 1s

"You can't get away from Keith and The Girl!"

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1744: What is Love?

2013-03-13
Length: 1s

"I grab him by the shirt collar, and, in Spanish, I tell him to get the fuck outta here before I kill him."

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1743: Hot Coffee

2013-03-12
Length: 58s

"Maybe I know better, but they have to be talking about my dick."

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1742: Cake Boss

2013-03-11
Length: 1s

"You're my partner, and you've been stealing money from me!"

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1741: Special Education

2013-03-08
Length: 54s

"She was mauled to death, so, hope you had fun with your little jokes."

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1740: Eight Years Down

2013-03-07
Length: 1s

"When you fuck my son, Ben, do us all the favor and don't ask for permission."

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1739: MailChimp

2013-03-06
Length: 1s

"My skin is coming off. "

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1738: L'chaim

2013-03-05
Length: 55s

"Let me judge the neighborhood: How much is a forty at the bodega? How much are blowjobs in the schools?"

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1737: Another Drink?

2013-03-04
Length: 1s

"Oh, I love the way it gapes!"

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1736: Social Studies

2013-03-01
Length: 54s

"She will be shaving her head within two years."

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1735: Allegedly

2013-02-28
Length: 55s

"Look at all this female pussy I'm getting!"

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1734: Stay in School

2013-02-27
Length: 1s

"Sorry I'm late. I was busy jerking off."

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1733: The Comic's Comic

2013-02-26
Length: 1s

"So that you don’t get sued you always have to say the money will go to charity, but I did offer to fight him and punch him in the neck."

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1732: Cunts of the Southern Wild

2013-02-25
Length: 1s

"Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?"

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1731: Nerd of Mouth

2013-02-22
Length: 1s

"A Times Square Spider-Man slugged a woman."

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1730: Oscar! Oscar!

2013-02-21
Length: 1s

"I wanna see his big thick steroid hog."

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1729: And You're Ugly, Too

2013-02-20
Length: 1s

"And I flew across the country with shit on my pants and on my leg."

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1728: You're Fat

2013-02-19
Length: 1s

"We need the sincerity that God has placed within your wonderful being. Interested?"

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1727: 5th Annual KATGuh Awards

2013-02-15
Length: 2s

"You fat bald fuck, I wish you were still in the hospital, you dipshit. How long's your marriage gonna last? Probably before it even starts, you cu-u-u-unt."

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1727: 5th Annual KATGuh Awards

2013-02-15
Length: 2s

"You fat bald fuck, I wish you were still in the hospital, you dipshit. How long's your marriage gonna last? Probably before it even starts, you cu-u-u-unt."

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1726: Gone Skiin'

2013-02-13
Length: 2s

"What's wrong with you? I'm an adult. Dick out."

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1725: Dicks, Clits, and Everything in Between

2013-02-12
Length: 1s

"I love cummy dick shaft, and, I gotta be honest, over the years I've had too much cum in my eye."

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1724: Willfully Ignorant

2013-02-11
Length: 2s

"I left Britney alone before everyone was leaving Britney alone."

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1723: Celebrity All-Stars

2013-02-08
Length: 1s

"No, I would get it if, y'know, Danny rubbed you wrong."

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1722: The Prodigal Son

2013-02-07
Length: 1s

"They tried to film him being raped, but he went off-script and did the raping."

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1721: Blind Item

2013-02-06
Length: 1s

"Heard you yelled at Naturman?! Oh my God. Now I have to listen."

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1720: Welcome to The Table

2013-02-05
Length: 1s

"THAT IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKIN' THING I'VE EVER HEARD AND YOU'RE GORGEOUS!"

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1719: Tricks are for Kids

2013-02-04
Length: 1s

"I go into bed. She's messing around on her iPad. And I spit on her pussy. And I - I'm masturbating. And I stick the head in, and I finish."

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1718: Namaste

2013-02-01
Length: 1s

"I don't know if I'm really following or she's on Yoga Drugs, but it sounds like a crazy scene."

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1717: The Angry Inch

2013-01-31
Length: 1s

"See, Danny? There's a worse internship job."

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1716: Good Cake, Bad Pie

2013-01-30
Length: 1s

"Good for your pussy; bad for him."

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1715: Songloose

2013-01-29
Length: 1s

"Booty taste good!"

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1714: #fact

2013-01-28
Length: 1s

"You're lucky to have me, Cocks!"

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1713: Don't Look at Keith

2013-01-25
Length: 1s

"You better come to Therapy Camp with me."

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Mixergy - The Business of KATG

2012-03-22
Length: 1s

The Girl is interviewed by entrepreneur site Mixergy.com, where she shares the business struggles and successes of Keith and The Girl.

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Keith and The Girl comedy talk show

We talk with comedians about current events, pop culture, politics and even intimate details of our lives. A new hour-long show is posted each weekday. Subscribe to our free podcast and have new episodes downloaded automatically. Every show is guaranteed to make you laugh!

Keith and The Girl comedy talk show


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