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Last update: 2013-06-25

It was so Korca

2013-06-25
Length: 1s

It's here, another exciting program full of conversations about The Last Of Us and Albanian beer and how dumb women can be. I'm really sweating my bag off right now up here so I can't be creative and give you some elaborate show notes, go, listen and find out what's wrapped up into this little magical bundle of audio.<br>

<center><img src="https://untappd.s3.amazonaws.com/photo/2013_06_04/4f2ea1d1a67488d03ddd581af62721a9_320x320.jpg"></center><br><br>

Music on todays show:

Artist: BoySetsFire       Song: Save Yourself

Link: <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/save-yourself/id656469308?i=656469468&uo=4" target="itunes_store"><img src="http://r.mzstatic.com/images/web/linkmaker/badge_itunes-sm.gif" alt="Save Yourself - While a Nation Sleeps..." style="border: 0;"/></a>

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Listen Here:

<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/offbeat/korca.mp3"">It was so Korca</a>

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Xbox one-up'ed

2013-06-17
Length: 49s

So we came to chat next gen and managed to talk off-topic right off the bat. For some unknown reason I was unaware, unaware of the rapeyness of dolphins. We manage to somehow get back on topic and discuss:

-Battlefield 4

-DeadRising 3

-Watch Dogs

-Splinter Cell

and so much more.<br><br>

[caption width="480" align="aligncenter"]<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NsF6a_3H7jQ/T0cRpLu55zI/AAAAAAAAAR4/5wFlg5Cckj8/s1600/Be+afraid+be+very+afraid.+Dolphin+rape+is+no+laughing_1978a0_3323552.jpg" width="480" height="360" class /> Well, he does have a point, and apparently a dick that I was clearly un-aware of![/caption]

<br><br>

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Marshmallow

2013-06-10
Length: 51s

Ever had a bad day only to come home and almost die in one of the most insane ways ever? Well I have, and you can hear all about it hear! You can also hear some stories about camping and how we feel about the Batman Arkham City board game.<br>

<center><img src="http://agamingnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/BatmanArkhamCityBoardGame-300x168.jpg"></cneter>

I'll give you a hint, it's about as good as Arnold playing Mr Freeze. Also there's this:<br><br>

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tpIllALk2mU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br><br>

Music on todays show:

Artist: Wax            Song: Lewis and Clark

Link: <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/lewis-and-clark/id590939095?i=590939558&uo=4" target="itunes_store"><img src="http://r.mzstatic.com/images/web/linkmaker/badge_itunes-sm.gif" alt="Lewis and Clark - Continue" style="border: 0;"/></a>

Artist: Eom \ Wax      Song: Coins

Link: <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F29146381"></iframe>

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Zero Sandwiches

2013-05-24
Length: 1s

<center><img src="http://i.imgur.com/k8w2dJB.jpg" alt="Couch Sloth" /></center>

Herre it is, our coverage of the Xbox One. We spout our views and opinions, we spout nonsense about a man getting his dick bit at a rodeo and then we spout nonsense about a new breed of sloth, the couch sloth. Enjoy!

Music on the show:

Lil Dicky - Ham

Lil Dicky - Ex-girlfriend

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Vagin-a-lee

2013-05-14
Length: 57s

From house break-ins to peacock sex this show covers quite the gamut of topics. As usual we have A.D.D. we can't focus on a single topic. We play white crime / black crime and discuss a ton of other things as well. Go listen!

Music on the show:

Implants - Life Passes

Katy Perry - Peacock

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Dicktakeability

2013-04-30
Length: 51s

<center><img src="http://offbeatpodcast.com/relic.png" alt="" /></center>

2 shows in 2 weeks wha what? We talk hot women, we talk about Dead's losing streak some more, we drink beer and we wish herpes on people. stop being such a curmudgeon  and go listen.

Music on the show:

The Stellar Corpses - Dead Stars Drive In

Samiam - Capsized

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Coolectomy

2013-04-22
Length: 1s

What a crazy few weeks since we last spoke. Here's what was discussed on this episode:

-Boston

-City of Remnants

-Zman Games' The Walking Dead

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1D43KEBAsjE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

-Dead Island

and soo much more.

Like us on Facebook, and also entertain us as favor to us for entertaining you by posting some shit. Also do it so Cameron doesn't feel so alone!

Music on the show:

 Alkaline Trio - I, Pessimist

 Mighty Mighty Bosstones - They came to Boston

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lbHMRpdk3_4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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That's how cleft palettes happen.

2013-04-08
Length: 55s

Nothing witty here.......just show notes:

-Battleblock Theater

-Walking Dead Finale

-The makings of cleft palettes

-Escape, The curse of the temple board game

oh and we also talk about other things so go listen!

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PAX East 2013 Coverage

2013-03-25
Length: 1s

Here we go Video games:

 Elder Scrolls online

 Splinter Cell Blacklist

 Watch Dogs

 Assassin's Creed 4

 Saint's Row 4

 Contrast

 Tiny Brains

 Bleak

Board Games:

 Ascension

 Kemet

 Timeline

 King of Tokyo

 Tsuro

All of these discussed in a nice little Hour long package. 

Music used on the show:

 Beastie Boys - Root Down

 The Have Nots - Regression

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It's only through my knowledge of vaginal care.

2013-03-20
Length: 1s

Hello hello,

   We have spewed nonsense into microphones for you to listen to. Also during the spewing of dumb shit we mix two beers to create an awesome concoction! We aren't going to post it hear you'll have to just listen to find out the genius that is us! We chat about what Cosmo thinks men want and compare what men actually want. We dissect the Walking Dead tv show and video game and zoo much more.

Music on the show:

Dropkick Murphy's - Famous for Nothing

Awolnation - Sail (Boregore remix)

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I'm Going to F the $12 out of it.

2013-03-08
Length: 51s

We drink bacon beer and.....well listen to hear what we think. We talk about fat people and their poor decisions, expendables 2 and other shit.

Music on the show:

Off with their heads - Nightlife

Bruno Mars - Locked out of Heaven

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HIpster Mailbox

2013-02-25
Length: 1s

3d monkeys masturbating, grapefruit flavored beer and the PS4 announcement. All things neatly wrapped up in a tidy little bow for you to consume. 

On the board game front we talk Eclipse and the DC deck building game as well as a few others.

Dead shoots a review of Dead Space 3 out into the atmosphere and we discuss Mallrat's new trend setting mailbox.

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Nice try stupid!

2013-02-16
Length: 1s

Here's some things we didn't talk about:

-Atlanta security tazer

-Kittens

-Anything remotely funny

-Kate Upton's mammaries unfortunately

Now for things we talk about:

-TV

-Terrible Beer

-Our Balls

so all in all it's like every other show we've released.

Enjoy!!

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Dark and Creamy

2012-12-06
Length: 1s

Well 2 men (I guess you can call us that for lack of better words) enter the studio and shit out an end of the  year episode. Best of's, worst of's and stories of Dead falling down the stairs. Top 3 games, tv sows, movies and music are shared and you can listen for the great price of free. And for the ladies we talk about sexy vampires.

Enjoy,

talk to you guys soon.

Music on the show:

Maklemore - Thrift Shop

Tim Armstrong - Ooh La La

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The Reverse Dragon (no it's not a kinky Japanese sex move!)

2012-09-15
Length: 1s

Wow that's a long title, speaking of long, this sow was recorded long ago, like a week ago, and I forgot to upload it, oops, I'm going to keep going because I haven't used enough commas yet, ok now I'm done. I Remember we talked about this:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mGMzGxeO1wQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> and some other stuff including a reverse dragon.

Music on the Show:

MC Chris - Hi-Jack

Novus Dae - Like half thier album since we didn't shut up while talking over it.

Follow Us on twitter:

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

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Egg McGuffin

2012-08-16
Length: 58s

Here's show notes:

-Blah Blah Blah

-We talk

-Then we talk more

-Also bacon pancakes

-folliculitis

Music on the Show:

Journey - Don't stop believing

Adventuretime - Bacon Pancakes

Follow Us on twitter:

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

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Racist Silverfish

2012-08-09
Length: 1s

This, This is the episode you've been waiting for! We talk about emo cereal mascots for like 25 minutes! We create new comic book characters and we talk about produce in butt holes. I'm honestly questioning why anyone even listens. 

Music on the show:

Nothington - To Hold On

Flickerstick - Chloroform

Flogging Molly - Drunken lullabies

Hard and Firm - Rodeo head

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

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The hunt for a new slur.

2012-08-02
Length: 58s

Olympics, boring, beer, delicious, this video:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9bZkp7q19f0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Weird.

Listen to the show!

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Mouse Cock Rings

2012-07-19
Length: 1s

<center><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ipOXCXLu7PI/Tf6IzE0aeVI/AAAAAAAAABY/lHow1LNVwFI/s1600/215082167.jpg" alt="Kriss Kross bitch" /></center>

Video dump time bitches, in other words here's some shit we talked about:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AopBy-eAhQ4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2B5o6-qNk6Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

I still have a boner after watching that, screw you viagra!

We also chat about the Mc Chris debacle, controlling your computer with your penis, Walking Dead 100 and Goon the movie that you should be watching instead of listening to us. 

Music on the Show:

The Gaslight Anthem - 45

Tyler the Creator - Yonkers

Richie Branson - Super Nintendo Sega Genesis

Follow Us on twitter:

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Play games with us:

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Separated by Canada

2012-07-12
Length: 1s

Here's some shit we didn't talk about:

<br>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3sFEwWGbRz8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<br>

Guardians of the Galaxy, angry colonoscopies and who could cum into a fleshlight most without rinsing.

<br>

Stuff we did talk about:

-Cum Caves

-Batman Earth one

-Hero Academy

-Summer of Arcade

-Training for retirement

and a crapload more.

Music on the show:

Reel Big Fish - Everyone else is an Asshole

Childish Gambino - I'm The Awesome

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

Play games with us:

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Baby Fockers

2012-07-02
Length: 1s

I blame Kevin Pereira for my new found lack of motivation. His website recommendations are fantastic, especially the porn ones. Anyhow, we run the usual gamut of conversation, masturbation, games, fat jokes. We also read some listener comments and reviews.

Music:

Motion City Soundtrack - Circuits and Wires

Teenage Bottlerocket - Metalhead

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

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Play games with us:

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It's like Mouse Trap

2012-06-08
Length: 1s

Want to know what the mortal enemy of paraplegics is or how about the some news from E3, well we got your smelly ass covered! I don't think we discuss this but if you dig our show, you'll dig this:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GHDQHVkYq4g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

-Stephen Hawking cheating

-How to thwart paraplegic zombies

-all kinds of E3 coverage

-Magic Hat Howl Black Lager

-What would she sound like

-A racist oreo

<br>

Music:

The Real McKenzies - The Massacre of Glencoe

Follow Us on twitter:

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Play games with us:

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We fell into a nerdhole

2012-05-23
Length: 1s

Hashtag Kim Kardashian, Deadmau5, Deadsqw1rl, Faye Regan, April Oneil, London Andrews, Lexi Belle.

Now go listen, There's your show notes.

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?

2012-05-03
Length: 1s

Well there's this:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5mYbLFD_BwE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Follow Us on twitter:

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/TimAsh9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/infectionagenda">Jay</a>

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LISTEN:

<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/offbeat/?.mp3">?</a>

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Pax East 2012 ah the memories

2012-04-20
Length: 1s

<center><img src="http://irbgamer.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Hitman-Absolution1.jpg" alt="" /></center>

<br>

<p>&nbsp&nbsp; We have returned and rested up from our Boston adventure. We bring back stories, stories of free booze, gaming and anime girls rubbing themselves into Jay's beard? Ah Pax. Things we discuss:

-Gazoo's eventual suicide or diabetic coma

-Hitman absolution, hence the picture above

-Sleeping Dogs

-Super Monday Night Combat

-Zpocolypse

-Spec Ops the Line

-Ash waiting in line 4 hours to play Borderlands 2.

Music used on the show:

The Whiskey Rebels - Disaster

Haste The Day - Porcelain

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/TimAsh9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/infectionagenda">Jay</a>

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N7 out of 10

2012-03-22
Length: 1s

We touch on all the happenings of Mass Effect 3 all the rage, mostly emanating from the studio. Jay stops in, fights his rage and explains some of the rage. If you haven't played through Mass Effect 3 in it's entirety yet skip this one as it's riddled with spoilers. 

Music used on the show:

The Flatliners-...and the world files for chapter 11

Follow Us on twitter:

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

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Skrillex and literally anyone.

2012-03-01
Length: 1s

rage: noun, verb, raged, rag·ing.

noun

1.

angry fury; violent anger.

2.

a fit of violent anger.

3.

fury or violence of wind, waves, fire, disease, etc.

4.

violence of feeling, desire, or appetite: the rage of thirst.

5.

a violent desire or passion.

Synonyms 

1.  wrath, frenzy, passion, ire, madness. See anger. 3.  turbulence. 6.  eagerness, vehemence. 7.  vogue, fad, fashion, craze. 9, 10.  rave, fume, storm. 

<br><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jzAufWvuXEk?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

On the Show:

-A movie no one should see.

-Let's vote some people off, only you can pay us to do so.

-Holes in the wall.

-How old is too old for a nocturnal emission.

and soo much more!

Music:

Descendents-When I get old

Outkast-Rosa Parks

Gorillaz-Do ya Thing

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Deadsqwirl.png" /></a>

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/ash9.png" />

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Mallrat6996.png" /></a>

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Dasgreatgazoo.png" /></a>

Call us:

860-506-54444

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Share: Skrillex and literally anyone.


F'ing Fat Hat

2012-02-25
Length: 1s

Much like that herpetic sore on your lip, We have come back. There is talking, as usual, and it includes:

-Teaching retards how to masturbate

-4 Rooms references

-Gazoo's Girlfriend is in studio, she has some moxy to show up here. We approve!

-We discuss porno day dreams.

-One of the best news articles in a long time that includes Denny's

-We discuss the Walking Dead

and so much more!

Music:

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Magic of Youth

Alkaline Trio - Dine, Dine my darling

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Deadsqwirl.png" /></a>

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/ash9.png" />

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Mallrat6996.png" /></a>

<img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Dasgreatgazoo.png" /></a>

Call us:

860-506-54444

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Yelling means caring!

2012-02-16
Length: 1s

through the numerous technical difficulties that we endured on this one we still managed to release a show this week. Even our equipment is telling us we suck :( on the show: -a quick 7 wonders review -Love notes -Mass Effect 3 -We learned after the show Mallrat is a chubby chase -Tazer Ball and some other nonsense Music: Pierce the veil - Just the way you are Adam Warrock - Active squad Follow Us on twitter: <a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a> Play games with us: <img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Deadsqwirl.png" /></a> <img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/ash9.png" /> <img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Mallrat6996.png" /></a> <img src="http://card.josh-m.com/live/lime/Dasgreatgazoo.png" /></a> Call us: 860-506-54444…

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Incognegro

2012-02-09
Length: 1s

We talk, irony ensues, anger ensues, Jewish jokes fly....relationships destroyed!

-Gazoo's weight...again

-Chrstian Slater

-We watch trailers for the Avengers and The Amazing Spiderman

-Intervention intervention

-The cast reveals what senior citizens they would have sexy time with

-#JewishMovieMashups send us your's via twitter

Music illegally used on this filth:

Childish Gambino - Bonfire

Me first and the gimme gimme's - You've got a friend

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Play games with us:

<a href="http://gamercard.zaamit.com"><img src="http://gamercard.zaamit.com/s2k11/deadsqwirl.jpg" alt="2k11 by ZaamIT.com" /></a>

<a href="http://gamercard.zaamit.com"><img src="http://gamercard.zaamit.com/s2k11/ash9.jpg" alt="2k11 by ZaamIT.com" /></a>

<a href="http://gamercard.zaamit.com"><img src="http://gamercard.zaamit.com/s2k11/mallrat6996.jpg" alt="2k11 by ZaamIT.com" /></a>

<a href="http://gamercard.zaamit.com"><img src="http://gamercard.zaamit.com/s2k11/dasgreatgazoo.jpg" alt="2k11 by ZaamIT.com" /></a>

Call us:

860-506-54444

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Jewbacca

2012-02-03
Length: 1s

Just like most of our good episodes this one will make you want to turn it off in the beginning for boring you but if you make it through that you'll turn it off because we disgusted you!

On the show:
-Huey Mother Fucking Lewis
-Dan Mother Fucking Baird (again!)
-Mallrat's chompers
-Gazoo's Ladyfriend
-People you are happy you are not
-Adam Duritz gets _________ (fill in the blank)
-Comic books! Yay nerds rejoice!

Music illegally used on this filth:
Huey Lewis-Hip to be square
Ac/Dc-You shook me all night long
Dan Baird-I love you period

Follow Us on twitter:
Deadsqwirl
Mallrat
Ash9
Gazoo

Call us:
860-506-54444

Contact us:
Click here to email

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Solomon Grundle

2012-01-26
Length: 2s

Well folks if you enjoy talking, we do it on this one, and might I add alot of it.

Contents inside:

-Cards Against Humanity review/demo.

-Mallrat's kid is going to be a furry

-Mass Effect 3 and how it can be ruined

-A sound effect in the beginning that you can try and figure out what happened

-Dan Baird

-Shit at the end of the show

-Super Dungeon Explore review

-Mallrat talks Rogan, really early on this time

-Not tonight I'm knitting

Music illegally used on this filth:

Baseballs-Chasing Cars

Modern Day Soundtrack-Friday I'm in Love

Dan Baird-I love you period

The Gorillaz-Gorillaz on my mind

Baseballs-Papparazzi 

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-54444

Contact us:

<a title="Click here to email" href="http://www.offbeatpodcast.com/?project=contact-us">Click here to email</a>

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Battleship was written for that guy!

2012-01-06
Length: 1s

Viagra Altoids, think about it, now admit the genius of our show. (May I point out, spellcheck had to remind me I spelled genius wrong at first.)

Inside of the mp3 posted here:

-How I met your mom and Mallrat's hypocrisy
-Eating a silica packet
-A woman trying to turn her boyfriend into a vampire
-Porn on Facebook
-Haulin' Oates.

Music illegally used on this filth:
Riverboat Gamblers - Smash and grab
Hall and Oates - Private eye

Follow Us on twitter:
Deadsqwirl
Mallrat
Ash9
Gazoo

Call us:
860-506-54444

Contact us:
Click here to email

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Share: Battleship was written for that guy!


In fake life I still don't get blowjobs.

2011-12-30
Length: 1s

For some reason we talk about clowns? What the hell has this show become?

Subjects:
-Robber cleans his own blood
-Mallrat and Ash are twinsies, and I’m envious! (note the proper use of the english language there)
-Thom Yorke?
-We solve a guys Holiday dating issue
-Our Top 5 games of 2011, except Gazoo, he’s poor and chose 1.
-Marvel paying more for mutants.
and soo much more!

Music:
Adam WaRRock – The Silver Age
Boyz II Men – I’ll make love to you.

Follow Us on twitter:
Deadsqwirl
Mallrat
Ash9
Gazoo

Call us:
860-506-54444

Contact us:
Click here to email

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Share: In fake life I still don't get blowjobs.


The Big 10 of Diddling.

2011-11-30
Length: 1s

<center><img alt="" src="http://www.winextra.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/krokodil-295x180.jpg" class="aligncenter" width="295" height="180" /></center>

We leave you with a bunch of unanswered questions this week and ramble on as usual.

Subjects:

-Krokodil

-How viable of a news source we are

-How terrible Nickelback is

-Gazoo is too fat to use a kinect

-Skyrim

-Kid Diddling

and soo much more!

Music:

Star Fucking Hipsters - From the dumpster to the grave

The Shell Corporation - Fuck 'em

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-54444

Contact us:

<a href="http://www.offbeatpodcast.com/?project=contact-us" title="Click here to email">Click here to email</a>

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Johnny Reb and the Supremacists

2011-11-11
Length: 1s

Well it only took two months in the making but here is your festering pile of audio dung we usually produce. Sorry we have been collectively constipated recently.

Subjects:
-Mc Chris
-Lobster tube
-COD vs Battlefield 3
-Pax East’s brilliant idea to be on Easter this year.
-Power outages due to snow in October
-Star Wars fat jokes
and some other stuff you’ll hear if you listen.

Music:
Mc Chris – Robot Dog

Follow Us on twitter:
Deadsqwirl
Mallrat
Ash9
Gazoo

Call us:
860-506-54444

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Science Jacking.

2011-09-28
Length: 1s

Anger, anger is the theme. Mallrat yells at DC, Mallrat yells at me, Mallrat yells in general. We discuss Gears of War 3, The Board game Power Grid and the Battlefield beta. and in a weird turn of events we talk sports. we watch this video:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6MrSLna8lto" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

And here is some general silliness from one of our board game session:

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RgrQuf8mtWs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Music:

Nothington - Captive Audience

Fleetwood Mac - Go your own way

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-5-then keep mashing the 4 button until you get our voicemail.

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I'd sex that Mexican dish!

2011-09-09
Length: 1s

This broad:<br>

<a href="http://www.offbeatpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/275145_548871748_3916906_n.jpg"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v622/Deadsqwirl/275145_548871748_3916906_n.jpg" alt="FUGLY!" title="275145_548871748_3916906_n" width="150" height="150" class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-1164" /></a> <br>

This broad is part of a revival, a revival of an old segment no one cared about yet we brought back anyways. Her face remind you of diarrhea, well it did to us and we are pretty sure Gazoo banged her. We talk about our favorite comic book movies, we review a board game Quarriors, the video games Crimson Alliance and Dead Island. We discuss Stankpuss, lipsyncing, cafe patron, and the new 52 starting with the Justice league. 

Music:

Nothington - Captive Audience

Fleetwood Mac - Go your own way

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-5-then keep mashing the 4 button until you get our voicemail.

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Share: I'd sex that Mexican dish!


Listen here captain FUPA!

2011-08-19
Length: 1s

So much to be said about this show and yet I am too tired to type most of it. That's probably a good thing because this one speaks for itself. We talk about drugs, create a gay porn called Gayliens that goes absolutely nowhere during the show but I do remember talking about it so it warrants it in the show notes. Speaking of Warrant, we don't talk about Jani Lane dying, just like every other media outlet didn't, because honestly, no one wants to admit to knowing a hair metal singer by name. We poke fun at this dude here simply because it's easy and that's what we do:

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZffTZ-Qc-JU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Other than that go check the show out and if your feeling frisky leave us some comments below, it warms the cockles of our hearts and shit.

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-5-then keep mashing the 4 button until you get our voicemail.

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Share: Listen here captain FUPA!


How did we get back on the Fleshlight?

2011-08-05
Length: 2s

Do men get more turned on when they get an erection? We answer this and many other questions on the show tonight including how to properly tag a midget and accessories to put on their wittle feet. This week you get double the pleasure and double the fun as this package includes two episodes. We also discuss a prostitution ring based out of a Dunkin Donuts,  Here is some light entertainment for you, light in the height department:<br>

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/S1P3fqeWsJI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><!--more-->

Music on the show:

Big D and the kids table - Walls

Follow Us on twitter:

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash9</a>

<a href="http://www.twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo</a>

Call us:

860-506-5-then keep mashing the 4 button until you get our voicemail.

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Kontext

2011-07-13
Length: 1s

We talked into microphones, it included Casey Anthony, Anthony Weiner and huge boobs and how big is too big. We also discussed how fat Gazoo is and he gave us a detailed report on how he actually gets his massive body out of bed in the morning, we wanted to know how it was possible. Other than that we cover news stories and fill the internet with the same lackluster filth we've been spewing for years now. Oh yeah and we talk about this, yay! <iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-fuKz0TeKY8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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A bingo game gone horribly wrong.

2011-06-16
Length: 1s

The big question this episode, why bother after you've had a vasectomy. Seriously, does it still feel good after ye old tin snips have done their intended damage?  We get into the topic of getting caught masturbating. The moral quandary here is: a.) do you try and cover it up awkwardly or b.) be proud and let them know you were giving yourself a proper flogging? Pre listening warning, we drank a plethora of beer, (as you could probably already tell if your reading the show notes) so if your into non coherent conversation than this is the episode for you. <!--more-->

Here you go, make fun of the old people, we did for a second and then our A.D.D. set in as usual:<br>

<center><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cRBcP6MmE8g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>

and then when you are done make fun of how terrible Alicia Silverstone looks:

<img alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-biAhV_MNrk8/TeNyMUsi5qI/AAAAAAAABlQ/50ywkz-PPIo/s400/Alicia-Silverstone-without-makeup.jpg" title="time is a bitch!" class="aligncenter" width="300" height="257" />

Music:

MC Lars - What is Hip Hop

Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Where'd you go.

Cal Us: (860)506-5444

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Does she still have that parasite living inside her?

2011-06-09
Length: 1s

Show notes, these are them! Speaking into microphones, we do it, cover E3 announcements, we do it poorly, mock some broads musical taste, we did it (off microphone, your not good enough for that conversation) record 2 shows this week, we did it and combined them to make one festering turd you will have invading your ears shortly.

Music:

Say Anything: I got your money

Swinging utters: The note

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Urethra Franklin

2011-05-18
Length: 1s

We talk Ghost stories due to this video:<br>

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AveJSRL8KgQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

Later on in the show we discuss the impending rapture, our sex lives and a whole bunch of other crap that I am feeling way too lazy to discuss here since we already talked about it  on the show. Also here is one of the videos we discussed that was more of a visual than anything:

<br><iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_InYt-_0GxI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

Cal Us: (206)600-5947

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Princess Di I choose you!

2011-05-05
Length: 1s

This is a historic moment in the lifespan of our piece of crap little radio show. This episode, the one your reading about right now, is so bad that put Ash in the hospital. Seriously he's there right now. The only thing that would make him feel better is pictures of old wrinkly naked women direct messaged straight to his twitter account <a href="http://www.twitter.com/timbeavisash9">@Timbeavisash9</a>. Please for the love of God help him out, he's worked years to entertain you guys, it's the least you could do. Anyway The Itty Bitty was here and Gazoo finally got to meet her. He turned on his game, granted is was equal to the game game of a paraplegic basketball team, but he turned it on. Go check it out, and while your at it like us by clicking the shiny little button on or website.

<img alt="" src="http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/images/Old-Virgins2.jpg" title="A great example despite the lack of nudity to send to Ash." class="aligncenter" width="239" height="190" /><br>

Music used:

Zebrahead - Girl's just wanna have fun

Ben Folds - Some crappy Ke$ha song made waaay better by them:

<center><iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uN1nD_mftaI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></center>

Tell us about your bush situation or ask us who we'd rather: (206)600-5947

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/theittybitty">The Itty Bitty's Twitter</a> She likes prolapse pics, DM her some.

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My dick is so powerful it killed Betty White.

2011-04-27
Length: 1s

We talk politics, who'd you rather bang was played, we mocked women's driving abilities, broke back PSN, Gears of War Beta and Viagra Beer. We also talk about how to dominate Stephen Hawking in bed or anything for that matter except physics. 

Music:

Screeching Weasel - Beginningless vacation

All - Three awesome songs by them, if you don't know the songs well than you don't deserve to know them.

Call us on our bush line: (206)600-5947

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Ball Abs

2011-04-13
Length: 1s

I'll keep the show notes short but sweet this week and let the show speak for itself. We made fun of people, when we were done doing that, we made fun of other people. This is some cyber bullying in an audio format.

<img alt="" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/clintonjeff/ZomgitsCj/Screenshot0326.jpg" title="Alerted" class="aligncenter" width="240" height="320" />

Music:

Whaleface - Kid tested

Anamanaguchi - trippy 8-bit shit

Call us on our bush line: (206)600-5947

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Tardbuchet

2011-04-05
Length: 1s

Hey, ever wanted to know if any of us would eat out a girl's asshole? Even if this though has never entered your mind, we are going to tell you anyways, well if you decide to listen we will. Frankly we think you should listen, this one was some of our most horrific work in a while, horrific singing in the beginning, horrific handicapped jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle mildly, or uncomfortably, and fat jokes, fat jokes geared at Kirstie Alley, simply because she's an easy target and we like easy targets.

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3eK7cEoMooM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

Go now, listen!

Music:

Gogol Bordello - Immigraniada

 

Call us on our bush line: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Death Bed Bush

2011-03-24
Length: 1s

If you make it to the funny parts of this one you are definitely a trooper. We run the gamut of shit from jacking it in the bathroom to mocking Brett Michaels to writing hippie songs about your death bed bush. P.S. How's your bush situation? comment below.

Music:

MC Lars - It's a party Y'all

Black Jesus -  Tell me how that thing smell

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

<a title="Anarchy Media Player - Right click to download file"></a><a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/offbeat/ouija.m4a"><em>Listen here</em></a>

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Porn push-ups

2011-03-18
Length: 1s

It's a new world record, 36 minutes in before Mallrat audibly strokes Joe Rogan's penis. We talk about Pax east and all the shit we played that you didn't, porn, Mallrat's wife losing it a bit and some other nonsense. Here's some videos of shit we discussed: <br>

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/uwQP1_lbKWI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/AL-25TrqEOY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

Music:

The Aquabats - Don't turn the radio down

The Ramones - 

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Where's the grilled cheese?

2011-03-10
Length: 1s

 

We talk biscotti drugs miscarriages this ad: <br>[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="TOTAL FUCKING HIPSTER!"]<img alt="" src="http://www.offbeatpodcast.com/HIPSTER.JPG" title="TOTAL FUCKING HIPSTER!" width="300" height="239" />[/caption] Also we drink some beers drink some vodka that tastes like Mountain Dew, make fun of each other alot, tell stories about drug addicted friends and how much better than them we are and we get a bit serious in parts. It's worth a listen too.

Music:

Off WIth their Heads - The Eyes of Death

Sgt Scagnetti - Confirmation

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

 

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TARDIS CONDOMS

2011-03-03
Length: 1s

Right off the bat, we create Dr. Who sex toys. Boom! Your welcome idiots. Mallrat got punched in the face, we talk about it, The Ipad 2 specs came out, we talk about it, Charlie Sheen went nuts and guess what, we talk about it. <br><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Neo6W1f7hyY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></Br>

Music on the show:

Red City Radio-This day has seen better bars

and some rap song Gazoo picked. 

Them-Baby please don't go

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a title="Anarchy Media Player - Right click to download file"></a><a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/offbeat/tardis.m4a"><em>Listen here</em></a>

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No miscarriage, no miscarriage, and stop....TWINS!

2011-02-16
Length: 1s

Hope no one from the government is listening to this mess. We discuss raping a girl on her period, ugh, unmarked bullets and then discuss how we are nice guys. Also on the menu, which is ala cart since you have the ability to fast forward, a woman eating poo a woman having a stroke on tv and fat woman being degraded. Video dump time:

<br>

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="540" height="290" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-S9mCL5JiDc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>

Music on the show:

DeadMau5-Sofi needs a ladder

Travis-Hit me baby one more time

Them-Baby please don't go

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

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Itunes is our pimp...

2011-02-09
Length: 1s

and your the bottom bitch. We talk, as usual only this show has a recipe: Fat joke fat joke make fun of Dead. We verbally shit on a few people and then we talk about some movie trailers, like these:<br>

<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5fx-XFAxc2Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/64qEPmVeGhA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br>Music on the show:

The Gamits - This Shell

Alkaline Trio - Armageddon 

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/Dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Motley Rue McClanahan

2011-01-27
Length: 1s

On tonight's riveting episode of Off-Beat we discuss Gazoo's tits being yanked back by meat hooks, a huge bat cock, Mallrat's big secret, (no he isn't a post op tranny) Rue McClanahan in Nazi garb and Board games. Here's some material for you savages to crank one off too:

<img alt="" src="http://www.damemagazine.com/uploads/articles/imagemanager/0907/190907/goldengirl2.jpg" title="Rue McClanahan is a real gasser!" class="aligncenter" width="365" height="639" /><br>

Also Dead cries when he sees the size of this bats penis:

<img alt="" src="http://seraglioletters.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/bat-cock.jpg" title="Whaa!" class="aligncenter" width="400" height="387" /><br> 

Music on the show:

Dire Straits - Money for nothing

The Gaslight Anthem - The 59 Sound

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/Dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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Up until now it's been useless.

2011-01-19
Length: 1s

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="315" caption="A disturbing gif that we laughed at. He&#039;s trying to show you the digestion process."]<img alt="" src="http://img.chan4chan.com/img/2009-04-28/t972.gif" title="Hello goatse" width="315" height="217" />[/caption] <br>

Tonight we learned a few things, things that are banned in Iran make a boring segment, a goatse makes Mallrat laugh and we learned Bicardi tastes like shit in Powerade. We discuss a whole bunch of other poop to but now one is going to read this based on the awesomeness happening right above the text that is put right here.

Music on the show:

Pipes and pints - City by the sea

Off with their heads - Drive

Call us: (909) 461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/Dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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That's a medical term for a spigot.

2011-01-10
Length: 1s

<img class="alignleft" src="http://cf.mp-cdn.net/4d/8e/ff46f23b1011d6f360ec3f85b3fe.jpg" alt="" /> To the excitement of very few, we have gathered and blabbered nonsense into microphones and managed to record it. Not much has changed except for the opening theme, we make fun of a baby that would be a nightmare for a tylenol advertisement, we talk about comic book boobies, Mallrat's family almost being on Judge Judy or the People's court, a cockroach and a colonoscopy, a sex toy bomb and we discuss our picks for game of the year for 2010.

Music used in the show:

Lars Fredrickson - Marie Marie

Big B - For Tonight

Call our voicemail:

(909)461-4493

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/Dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

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I'ma shower at your house.

2010-11-22
Length: 1s

<img class="alignleft" src="http://www.offbeatpodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/car.png" alt="" width="400" height="189" />Ever drove by a guy masturbating in his car while he was driving? If you answered yes to this quandary then you've probably seen us in person. We discuss Car Jacking (see what I did there), an old hippie falling out of a treehouse, TSA employees and a woman's vagina so rank a guy won't even eat it when he is held at knife point.  

Music used on the program:

Beefy - Uncanny

Gogol Bordello - Immigraniada 

Take some guesses as to who said what at the end of the show by adding your comments below.

Rascist whit woman video:

<object width="540" height="285"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8xRmp5_3RDM?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8xRmp5_3RDM?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="540" height="285"></embed></object>

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(909)461-4493

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Mission aborted.

2010-10-20
Length: 1s

We entered the studio and pumped out some filth for you to listen to. This one is for the hardcore listener out there. Everyone is sick in the studio from Dead having the flu to Mallrat having a sick mind to The Itty Bitty retching while we show her abortion videos. It's an odd one, but stick around after we abort the show for a heated abortion argument, kinda. Mallrat yells, Itty Bitty defends the aborted child and you the listener lose. PS, we have video of the Itty Bitty watching said video, maybe we'll release it if you fuckers entertain us somehow, the challenge has been made.

Music on the show:

Tim Armstrong: Into Action

Vampire Weekend: Horchata 

Call us, here's the number since we didn't plug it on the show:

(206)909-4493

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I will not be universally despised.

2010-10-10
Length: 1s

much like our other shows, we found new ways to be offensive. It's kinda what we do. Mallrat wants to be a lovable Hitler hell bent on destroying ICP fans, we crack some If god didn't want me to rape jokes and banter about nonsense some of you may enjoy, Gazoo, who was on an episode of Ronin Radio, did a fine job sitting in for Ash. And we consumed beer from what will hopefully be called the fresh balls beer cooler in the near future. Go now young Jedi, listen, learn, laugh!

Music on the show:

MC Chris - Smackababy

Alkaline Trio - Jaked on green beers

Alkaline Trio - Dine, Dine my darling

<a href="twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">The Show's Twitter</a>

<a href="twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="twitter.com/Dasgreatgazoo">Gazoo's Twitter</a>

Leave us some comment love

or call our voicemail:

(909)461-4493

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My penis is not a racist!

2010-09-28
Length: 1s

Porn, voicemails, emails, segways and a whole bunch of very random shit. It's all included on the new episode that should be consumed by your stupid eardrums. We finally gathered in the new studio and it went fairly well so expect another show in about 2 months.

Music used on the program:

River Boat Gamblers - Catastrophe

Jonathon Coulton - Re: Your Brains

 

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(909)461-4493

Leave comments or we'll be sad

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His name is Robert Paulson.

2010-09-12
Length: 37s

Super short midget sized show tonight that makes you want more. Much like a midget wants more height, you ain't getting more. We talk about some naked dudes banging while we ate steak, read a letter addressed to KY, talk about hooker drive thru's and delve into the horrible details of why you shouldn't use conditioner to masturbate. After all that, and maybe a bit more, the show ends.

Music used on the program:

Street Dogs-In Stereo

Some Trey Parker and Matt Stone song Mallrat chose.

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

 

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Cancer is a small price to pay...

2010-08-27
Length: 1s

 

Ever wanted to ride a T-Rex member into work? Well we haven't either, Ash does want to ride a T-Rex to work though and we discuss, then make fun of how gay the band T-Rex is. We also discuss getting a down feather stuck in your piss hole, Hoarders, Internal Taffy, you don't understand what that means, but you will if you listen, how much of a run on sentence these show notes are and how your grandmother had a cock in her mouth at one point and time in her life, that's why she eats soo much garlic, it's to forget! And as an extra bonus, we recorded the pre-show "writing process" Listen in as you try and choke yourself or whatever you sick fuckers do when no ones around. And that's all the show notes you queers get, go listen!

Music used on the program:

Haste the Day - Travesty

Cake - War Pigs

Cee lo - Fuck you

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

 

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Rhinocoporn

2010-08-20
Length: 1s

We did it, we recorded a show that didn't include a single rape joke. And some of you thought it couldn't be done.We talk about Facebook's new location service, but not for long, it probably took you longer to read that than how long we talk about it, We vaguely review the Expendables and we also talk about other shit as well since this is essentially a talk radio show. 

Music used on the program:

Sex Bob-Bomb - We Are Sex Bob-Bomb

Star Fucking Hipsters - Until we're dead 

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(909)461-4493

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Because she shit in it.

2010-08-06
Length: 1s

Well we didn't name the show what we wanted to for fear of an Islamic attack, we'll leave it at that. We took some time off and returned mediocre, just as we left. We didn't manage to bring a big cast, simply because that would be appeasing to our fans but we did bring some humor. We talk Mosque, Proposition 8, face palm sex (it doesn't make sense now but it will) and breasts that rub up against the happy trail.

Music used on the program:

A Skylit Drive- Separate Ways

The Baseballs - Chasing Cars 

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

or leave us text, voice or video comments!

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Spit Gag Honk

2010-07-18
Length: 1s

Tonight's menu:

Stuffed peppers

Cock blots

Clown fellatio

Pink on a barricade

and for dessert Mel Gibson

Music used on the program:

Haste the Day - Resolve

Lady GaGa - Paparazzi 

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

or leave us text, voice or video comments!

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If God didn't want me to...

2010-07-09
Length: 1s

On the program this evening, we discuss LeBron leaving Cleveland  in shambles, we drink a shitty soda that tastes much better with vodka in it, we introduce you to a new cast member and we talk about Dead getting punched in the face. If that's not enough to get you to listen your obviously an asshole.

Music used on the program:

ONYX-Slam

Against Me! - I was a teenage anarchist 

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

or leave us text, voice or video comments!

 

<a title="Anarchy Media Player - Right click to download file"<a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/offbeat/ep57.m4a"><em>Listen here</em></a>

Listen by clicking above.

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If anyone is getting raped it's at the World Cup

2010-07-01
Length: 1s

Well this one starts off slow and quickly turns to brilliance. We beat a dead werewolf penis to death in true Off-Beat fashion, we talk about the female anti-rape condom, Mel Gibson and we do this all with Real Talk. Ash has another smoke monster encounter and we babble and make funnies, you go listen now, and here's some shit to help you find us in the search engine: Miley Cyrus spread eagle with peanut butter in her vag, Justin Bieber cock in mouth, Comiccon, Sarah Pailin resents her tarded child, Genesse cream ale. Good day.Music used on the program:Bullet for my Valentine - Your BetrayalThe Baseballs - Umbrellatalk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):(909)461-4493or leave us text, voice or video comments!
<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a><a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a><a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>…

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We're talking werewolf penis here!

2010-06-21
Length: 55s

Come for the if god didn't want me to rape chat and stay for the werewolf penis talk! We discuss E3, real caulk, Ash's newfangled coke habit, sexy vampires, did we mention rape jokes, and Vin Diesel's dumb face. We also talk about some other nonsense exactly 4 of you will enjoy. We used our science skills to figure out that equation. Oh yeah, we watched a chimp rape a frog, kinda blew my mind a bit.

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="480" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bwegzhXAqaQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bwegzhXAqaQ&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

Music used on the program:

The Menzingers - I was born

talk at us via the phone (voicemail stupid):

(909)461-4493

or leave us text, voice or video comments!

 

<a title="Anarchy Media Player - Right click to download file" href="http://offbeatpodcast.com/wolf.m4a"><em>Listen here</em></a>

Listen by clicking above.

 

<a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Dead's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/mallrat6996">Mallrat's Twitter</a>

<a href="http://twitter.com/timbeavisash9">Ash's Twitter</a>

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Teddy Ruxpin fucker

2010-06-13
Length: 1s

Ever think about fucking a Teddy Ruxpin doll while it was mouthing Metallica songs, well we haven't either. Well maybe one of us has. We talk pre E3, new Iphone and some other nonsense. Here's the filth from Japan we spoke of: <embed width="452" height="361" quality="high" wmode="transparent" name="main" id="main" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" src="http://www.drtuber.com/media/player/player.swf?f=http://www.drtuber.com/media/player/config_embed.php?vkey=6196" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /> Music used on tonights show: Red city radio - If All Else Fails Play Dead Leave a voicemail: 909-461-4493 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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Lost (somewhere on my HDD)

2010-05-29
Length: 40s

Much like Jack's trials and tribulations we fought hard to get this show to you. Through massive recording issues for the second time this week, we triumphed over forces higher than us telling us to shut the fuck up. We talk Lost, and other things but you have out listen to find out what. Our friend Fog joins in through the science of AOL instant messenger which he connected to from his War games-esque computer he still has form the early 90's. We blame him for all the issues recording and you should too! Despite all the bullshit, this is a fun one even if your not a fan of Lost! Leave a voicemail: 909-461-4493 Got Question? Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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It's not racist it's an educated guess.

2010-05-06
Length: 1s

Lots and lots of talk about vomit. If vomit is your thing, this is certainly the show for you. We talk about vomiting in your mouth while being pulled over by a cop, vomiting in a purse, vomiting in your friends face while drinking and vomiting on a waitresses crotch. we also talk about circle vomiting. Consider yourself a vomit connoisseur after listening to us this week. Music used on tonights show: Spring Heeled Jack - Jolene Go Go's - Vacation Cypress Hill - Rise Up Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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I don't know where your vagina's been

2010-04-29
Length: 1s

In this week's episode your heroes drink Steel Reserve and talk nonsense....so the only thing that's changed is the beer. Music used on tonights show: The Flatliners - here comes treble Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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You just got scienced...

2010-04-19
Length: 1s

We did it!!! We completed a show two weeks in a row and did it without a single rape joke! We talk about relationships tooth brushes stuck in penis', food, safe shark hole fisting and Christina Hendrick's boobs. Website of the week: <a href="http://www.mostawesomestthingever.com/">most awesomest thing ever.com/</a> Music used on tonights show: Mc Frontalot-Charisma potion Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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I'm not a Fishologist

2010-04-10
Length: 1s

Ever wonder what it would be like to fist a shark? Probably not , I think there is seriously something wrong with us. Well if you haven't figured it out we talk about sharkgina's and religion and then .....video games of course. Go listen. Website of the week: <a href="http://www.awkwardboners.com">Awkward Boners.com</a> Music used on tonights show: Jonathon Coulton Re: your brains Victims of circumstance The final flight of D.B. Cooper. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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Wait...Ricky Martin is gay?

2010-03-29
Length: 1s

It's been a while, but here's your new show. Jesse James, Tiger woods, Splinter Cell, Dragon Age, Girls who enjoy comics...it's all here. We also discuss some movies and videos, and here they are: <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U4bTfABlBg8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U4bTfABlBg8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object> <br><script src="http://ebaumnation.com/static/js/?files=contrib/flowplayer/flowplayer-3.1.3.min.js"></script><a href="http://cdn.ebaumnation.com/2010/03/24/guy-with-tourettes-sucker-punches-wife.web.flv" id="player" style="display: block; width: 640px; height: 504px; z-index: -1000;"></a><script type="text/javascript"> flowplayer("player", "http://ebaumnation.com/static/js/contrib/flowplayer/flowplayer.commercial-3.1.3.swf", { key: "@6db199befa592e434ac", clip: { key: "@6db199befa592e434ac", url: "http://cdn.ebaumnation.com/2010/03/24/guy-with-tourettes-sucker-punches-wife.web.flv", bufferLength: "1", scaling: "fit" }});</script><div style="text-align: center;"> See more like this at <a href="http://ebaumnation.com/">eBaum Nation</a>.</div> Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>


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A love song to the Netherlands.

2010-03-14
Length: 1s

Music, Oscar's and video games, That's what this episode consists of. We talk precious, a woman with 2 butt-holes, A vagina scent, and Japs! Well I'm tired, so show notes aren't happening, instead watch these idiots that we didn't discuss on the show: <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yk2vR8w2sjc&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yk2vR8w2sjc&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object> Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Infectionagenda">Jay</a

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Deathbed Molly

2010-03-05
Length: 1s

New show, yay. We make fun of Tiger Woods then we make fun of how mediocre we are, we make fun of Quest then we make fun of how mediocre we are, we make fun of Boner then we make fun of how mediocre we are, we talk about how we hate Activision (anything after Pitfall sucked) then we make fun of how mediocre we are. Getting the theme here? Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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El Unitardo Midgeto

2010-02-17
Length: 1s

On the show this week, We discuss Sarah Palin, what Ash would be like if he owned a Mexican drug bar (which he has enough money saved up to start), We chat a shitload of movies, Lady Ga Ga's vagina and who could forget Epic beard man. Here it is in all it's glory: <object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="425" height="344" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wF6W3206l70&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wF6W3206l70&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object> Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Rickettsoffbeat">Ricketts</a>

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The Nuge never misses

2010-02-06
Length: 1s

Ever wonder what it would be like if the cast ran an abortion clinic? Well don't waste your brain cells on trying to figure it out, we describe our ideal planned parent hood facility for you. We chat Oscars and other random shit as well. Here is the link dump:<br> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_T_JachDW9ag/S2xyYuCY9pI/AAAAAAAAF8s/x72doahCm40/s1600-h/gravity3.jpg"> Fat girl </a><br> <a href="http://www.theync.com/media.php?name=14007-most-shocking-ever">Faceless dummy</a> 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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A Cert

2010-01-30
Length: 1s

HEEEEROOOOOOW, here it is another show. Yay. We chat Ipad, Springer, Dummies, video games, masterbation (surprise surprise), sex follies (aka a cum shot to the face)<a href="http://www.angelfire.com/film/tsss/ss/inuraface.wav" target="blank">Click here for added effect </a> and Ash sulks and shoots himself in the penis....ah women. Here's some entertainment for you: <object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-KxZfGf-ly0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-KxZfGf-ly0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object> Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: <a href="http://twitter.com/offbeatpodcast">Off-Beat</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/deadsqwirl">Deadsqwirl</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Timbeavisash9">Ash9</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/Mallrat6996">Mallrat</a>

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After every abortion an angel gets it's wings.

2010-01-21
Length: 1s

We drank, we ate shitty candy from the Netherlands and we talked. Mainly we talked movies this week and James Cameron's massive penis which allows him to do whatever. We also threw some Conan and Leno into the mixand cracked a few jokes here and there, at least I think. Here's the video from the audio we played in the beginning of the show and then never discussed. seriously we have A.D.D.: Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat…

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Smell my Globnark

2010-01-14
Length: 1s

Come for the cock mocking stay for the Call of Duty nerd talk where we upgrade our penis' with perks. 'Twas an interesting night, we chatted about Conan, Mark McGuire, made fun of terrible rap songs and cracked tons of penis jokes. Oh yeah and we looked at this and tried not to erupt vomit from our faces:
Try and un-see that mother fuckers! 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat The Itty Bitty…

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At least we have a white president

2010-01-07
Length: 1s

Happy new year idiots. It's been a while, so long we forgot what the hell we were supposed to do. We chat movies, make fun of listeners, watch a video of a guy fucking a cow heart, share our top 5 games of 09 and babble for a long ass time because we missed each other, not you guys though. We discuss the ice taunting this fat mess as well: Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat…

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Happy Dew Year!

2009-12-31
Length: 2s

Listen dummy!…

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Every man is a Buddhist while taking a dump.

2009-12-16
Length: 1s

We managed to make time in our busy schedule to bring you some fine (terrible) programming. We discuss babies eating cocaine, Mallrat trying to get immediately after operation sex, Tiger Woods, the ham job, I love you Beth Cooper and most importantly this disgusting pic: Check the feed for next live show due to the shitty holiday coming up. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat Ricketts…

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From the future!

2009-12-12
Length: 19s

Well, tonight's show was a quickie. Pretty much just touching base with the few of you who still listen. We discuss how miserable we are this time of year, Mallrat's fat ass crushing his wife's sex toy, Dead's frustration and then we encourage you to pick your favorite show we have recorded. Check the twitter regularly to see when we will be live again, probably sometime after the Holiday's but who the hell knows! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mallrat…

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Panty Party

2009-12-07
Length: 1s

Here it is, the show I forgot about. We talk, you should listen Yay. Get to it and leave comments in the new audio comments and whatnot. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat Ricketts The Itty Bitty…

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The proclivity for chopsticks

2009-11-28
Length: 1s

HEROW! We did a lot of shit tonight talked a lot of shit tonight and laughed at a lot of shit as well. We sang Catskill game farm songs, talked about clit piercings, curry, chopsticks, asians, Call of Duty modern warfare 2 field trips and so much more. If you miss this one your a moron, well if you listen to us your probably a moron. Enjoy! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Ash9 Mallrat Jay…

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My wang is like a dish towel...

2009-11-21
Length: 1s

So we are drunk…. in fact still drunk as we are typing this and Ricketts is blacked out on my toilet. Here’s a tip, if the cool drunk people at the bar annoy you, avoid this show! get to listening, it’s chock full of a sex batman skit and hatred of the clit. And I’m pretty sure I just adopted a Ricketts as Ash9 left him here, wonderful! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we’ll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com…

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Vagina Face

2009-11-11
Length: 1s

So it's been a few weeks, And if your looking for humor here in this show your pretty much out of luck. We geek out over Modern Warfare 2, Dragon Age, and the new Borderlands DLC coming out. Read up by going here: Borderlands DLC. We bring some humor to our nerdumb by talking about some dope that splits his face open while diving because his place of residence is boring, and we whine alot because this show was plagued by technical disasters, give us a few weeks off and we forget how to do this shit. Go listen, and enjoy this video, if you can:[pro-player width='530' height='253' type='FLV']http://video.aol.co.uk/video-detail/inanlmaz-dal-kazas-18/624391691[/pro-player] 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat Ricketts…

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Manpire

2009-10-28
Length: 1s

Hello, We take a bunch of phone calls, talk about killing someone with farts,(how mature), make fun of a misfortunate flu shot victim, and follow our formula of fat and gay jokes, because that's never been done before right? Here's the poor sucker that was quickly divorced due to the new her: Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Got Question? Email us and we'll either call you fat or a fag: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash9 Mallrat Ricketts…

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Clam Bake

2009-10-17
Length: 1s

Haroooooow! Well it's late, and it's mediocre just like you savages like it. We ramble on about this and wiping cum on your beard or cat or something, Then we talk about the balloon boy hoax which we shouldn't because it's stupid. We babble about video games, dish out advice and then discuss what a clam bake should consist of. Go listen, then kill yourself for listening, you deserve a nap. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ash9…

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Confetti spraying penis

2009-10-07
Length: 1s

hey, here it is a new show that 1 of you have been looking forward to. In the mix for tonight we discuss the origins of the word fuck, Ash's desire to be a sex toy quality assurance tester, odd sexual positions no one in their right mind would ever try, offer advice, talk about video games and also give our opinion on the Letterman thing because no one else has done that this week right? Oh and by the way, if you haven't seen this yet your retarded, well your probably retarded anyway because you listen to us and read this dredge:
View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ash9…

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Welcome to pathetic town

2009-09-30
Length: 1s

So we got the phone lines working but it destroyed the chat room and reminded us why we liked the phones lines being down. In this episode we discuss what it would be like if you were homeless and how to put your face out if it was on fire, not that anyone should care because your homeless. we talk about this and then that we dish out advice and for some reason we covered a stupid Screech news story, fuck that nobody. any way go listen, I am too tired to type show notes! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ricketts Ash9…

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And we shall call it womb raider

2009-09-23
Length: 1s

Hi there person we somehow suckered into reading this. There is a new show for you to listen to here, we run through Mallrat getting $8,000, aborting children, incest, Mallrat's new desire to eat cum because of his beverage, offensive tattoo's, Patrick Swayze's worthless pancreas and the smell that wafts out from Jennifer Aniston's hole that makes men run away. Go listen, then interact, let us know your listening, yeah I'm talking to you! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ricketts…

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I'm Sex Batman.

2009-09-09
Length: 1s

And from the ashes a new hero rises up to save dummies when they need sexual advice! We talk about District 9, Adventureland, The Hangover and some other celebrity based bullshit. We talk geek, X-men wolverine game, I know we are late to the party and Beatles Rock Band. We talk about stand up comedians and this thing. Have fun, see you live next week. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Mallrat Deadsqwirl Ash9…

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Smurf porn is my new addiction!

2009-09-04
Length: 2s

So we lied in true Ronin Radio fashion (hell we do have half the cast on this show so really you should expect it!) and told you we would do a show last week, oops we didn’t. But to make it up to you we did 2 and a half hours of drunken awesomeness. Still feeling the effects so your not getting show notes but what you will get is this picture That is all, go listen dummy! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ash9…

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And now a word from the president....

2009-08-24
Length: 50s

Watch and find out stupid!…

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I never jerk off to the same thing twice.

2009-08-19
Length: 2s

Wow, we talked alot, go figure considering we do a talk show. so we figure by our standards since this show is over 2 hours, we won't do a show next week. Just kidding we can't get enough of our own voices. We we talk about cum, movies, vaginas, The Itty Bitty's height, penis, you know all the same shit we always talk about, just in a more awesome way than normal. Anyway I have been drinking, and it's late, and I'm not gonna type anymore because I don't feel like it so go enjoy the awesome radio we presented to you undeserving vaginas. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl theShittyBitty Mallrat Ash9…

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She doesn't listen anyways!

2009-08-12
Length: 40s

Well you can blame yourself for only getting 40 minutes of awesomeness this week. We did an hour and a half of mediocre radio to entertain you vagina's but we didn't record it, and we did that intentionally to try and make you listen live. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, or maybe we had some technical issues, which is more believable because we are not smart enough to plan a scheme out to get more people to listen live. The shit you won't hear, everything awesome we said on the live show but what you will here is something slightly less awesome and a recap of what you could have been cranking your mess to. Enjoy. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Ash9 Ricketts Mallrat…

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So your job is more important than us?

2009-08-05
Length: 1s

Hello all, It's time for another show, we discuss woman trying to steal babies before they were born and how men are superior because we aren't crazy enough to do that, we do a ton of movie talk, and Mallrat pretty much exclaims he would give Paul Rudd head because he was in Wet Hot American Summer, (listen closely, I'm pretty sure he says that.) We talk about the new master piece commercial for the show which is streaming now on our live page along with 15 minutes of new show for you to check out. And Mallrat leaves us to go set his alarm at his place of employment so that means game over, but we did pull off an hour and 20 of radio that you will enjoy much more than your toe lint, because that shit sucks. And I will leave you with a video of auto tune news, because it's annoying, like you! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ash9 Ricketts…

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Unfortunately it's in her stomach

2009-07-29
Length: 1s

Hey, Of course we run the gamut of shit to talk about, notice a pattern? We discuss the Iphone, sunglasses, Obama and his beer, we play manly or not so manly, we make fun of autistic kids and then we come to this gem, a mother who ate her baby!
The real problem here is where the hell is the father and why would someone fuck this crazy bitch then allow her to keep the child. Anyway we play guess the top 10 celebrity messes and do a jig, ok there was no jigging because it was way to hot in studio. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Ash9 Ricketts Mallrat…

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Lip Service

2009-07-22
Length: 1s

What's up scumbags, We start off this mess by discussing some of the things we discussed after the show last week but recorded and put in between the show from 2 weeks ago. Confused, well so am I, kinda, and I'm running this shit. We discuss Mallrat's lack of slurping on his penis and our new contest has risen, who will get lip service first, Mallrat or Ash9. We'll keep you posted. We discuss whacking off for the first time, my horrible dreams, another celebrity death and these assholes. There really are no words for this bullshit either or justice considering they are making money off of this: It's so bad they won't allow embedding on their original video. We aos do some celebrity stuff and our new gameshow epically fails. All in all it was fun, listen or don't I don't care, I'm off to play Battlefield. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Mallrat Ash9…

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The grindhouse of podcasts

2009-07-15
Length: 2s

What's up a-holes? We have done a double feature, well triple feature if you include the banter from between the shows. We were just going to spout out an intro but since we love you douches so much we did 20 more minutes of slightly above mediocre radio. We discuss O'bama checking out a 16 year old woman's beautiful pot roast shaped ass. Here's the image, you decide if he's checking out her ass or not.

We move onto fashion and then into some Black white or Asian action. Which brings us to some weird costume porn from Japan. Also we talk for a bit between shows about Mrs. Mallrat's habits, Christianity, and vaginas all in the matter of like 20 minutes. Then if your man enough, try not to dose off during the second show, it's a doosy! Alright, catch you punks next week! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Ash Mallrat Ricketts…

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Accept my seed!

2009-07-01
Length: 1s

Hello, after a nice well rested week off we have returned, thanks to the 1 person who missed us and asked when we were going to do another show, it warmed the cockles of our wittle hearts. We talk about everyone in Hollywood dying, I personally think Ed McMahon got shafted by all the other top notch celebs croaking on purpose to make his death look less news worthy. Poor fatty. We discuss for quite some time the blatant racism involved in Transformers 2 and Mallrat is upset about it, that's right UPSET about it. We move on and talk about the males game plan before sex and then discuss this dude:
It was a good show, you should check it out, and you should also be nice to the handicapped. On second thought, no you shouldn't! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Ricketts…

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That's alot of turd!

2009-06-17
Length: 1s

What's up waterheads, oh that's offensive, sorry. Here's a new show, we completely ignore the fact we are doing audio and show off the pop crunch top 100 girls via the live feed, your loss for not listening live. Ash9 laid a turd that looked like 15 dead zombies stuffed into a bowl and we believe has de-throned Ricketts, you be the judge over in the forums. We talk about the gravity defying breasts of this tennis bitch:

Also in this installment we play Black white or bestiality. Good times, listen in then interact savages! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl Ash9 Ricketts…

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Big balls, death and drinking!

2009-06-10
Length: 1s

Even with everything breaking before the show we managed to pull the live show off. Our feed went down, a laptop broke and our live phone line crapped out. I think it's God's way of saying stop fucking doing the show. Ain't gonna happen faggot! We talk about employees borrowing out games and the debate on wether or not it should be sold as a new game. We discuss Tiger 10, drinking heavily and then puking and then casually transistion into an old woman getting the fuck tasered out of her!
After the tasering we discuss what it would be like to have massive balls, David Carradine's death, shit you wouldn't want to be re-incarnated as and dating strippers. If that's not enough for your dumb face to comprehend we discuss Brett Michaels almost getting beheaded. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl theShittyBitty Ricketts…

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The rape joke you'll never here.

2009-06-04
Length: 1s

So in true Off-Beat fashion we broke shit, this time halfway through the show Pee Wee Herman deemed we were not allowed to record the rest of our show and it came true. Fuck you Pee Wee for winning a game of truth or dare with god by masterbating in public and then using your victory wish to fuck up our show. Your movies sucked! Anyway we talked alot about rape, the we talked about raping a machine taped to doors, but I'm not sure if you get to hear that part, fucking Pee Wee Herman, then we talked about dead people, but do not include rape in that because we have a line we won't cross. Anyway, listen to the first half of the show we recorded this evening and curse yourself if you didn't get to hear it live because that is the only way it existed. Join us live this Saturday too, 6/6 10pm EST because you may not get to hear it recorded because we are way better than that. OK maybe we just can't work the equipment! Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl theShittyBitty Ricketts…

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Someone strap a bomb to Freddie Prinze Jr.

2009-05-28
Length: 1s

Sup fools, if your a fan of television and movies then boy do we have a show for you this week. We chat tons of television, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia , Reaper, Chuck, Rescue me, Lucky louie and a crap ton more. Dead and Momma checked out Terminator Salvation today and we discuss that semi disaster. We try discussing an old woman getting wailed in the face by some lunaic who must have been on a professional basketball team but our Mexican employee Ricketts couldn't make it hence no laptop to play the audio, maybe if behave we will share the audio next week. Ah F it here is the video for you to check out in all of it's amazingness. Mallrat gets smashed by the cock which was good time. Anyway catch us on Wednesday 6/3 at 10pm EST. To those watching live this week thanks for joining us. Leave a voicemail: 206-984-1178 Email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast.com Check out the forums for exclusive shows: Forums Or follow the cast on twitter: Off-Beat Deadsqwirl Mommasqwirl theShittyBitty Ricketts Direct MP3 download or listen now:…

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Power, glory and disappointment.

2009-05-20
Length: 1s

Hello savages, Fun show again this evening. Somehow we end up keeping it local, we talk about shitty Waterbury government, we join fatty mc fatterson's chat room and he doesn't appreciate Dead's greeting of "hang yourself Fatty for our entertainment" and is instantly banned. Maybe next time I will pace myself instead of going right in for the kill. We discuss how much work it takes to be lazy, well work it takes when your poor and you cant pay someone else to do it or have the morals to not abduct a child and put it to work. We allow Mommasqwirl to do her bit tonight for the first time in a while. Momma talks about that freak Jennifer love Hugeneck, We Talk Trump, Lost, Andrew Dice Clay, Dancing with the Stars and Joan Rivers who looks like a rubber chicken. After the show the fun began, We started a new character the racist ape which will be making an appearance soon. Ricketts recorded probably the most offensive commercial that has ever graced Off-Beat: Join the manliest turd contest, I think we spell turd differently every time we type it. Oh well, it's easy, eat alot, shit, take a picture, and post it on the forums. Prizes may include a handy in a fitting room from the itty bitty. Also, we are planning a trip to Connecticon. Anyone interested let us know, we will plan out an Off-Beat outting complete with Mallrat and I in Drag, scary. Voicemail: (206)984-1178 Twitter: twitter.com/offbeatpodcast.com twitter.com/deadsqwirl twitter.com/mommasqwirl twitter.com/theittybitty twitter.com/rickettsoffbeat…

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Like a dirty burrito in your panties.

2009-05-14
Length: 1s

Probably some of the most fun I've ever had recording a show, seriously. The fan support was great during the live show, where the hell were you? We drank our own creation, the dirty burrito, The itty bitty answered one of your lingering questions, yes she spits. She couldn't keep the damned thing down which isn't surprising. We played chubby bunny and missed soo many great jokes about the itty bitty taking two in her mouth and not being able to hold them in her mouth. Insert your jokes here or post them in the comments section! We talk about the new Star Trek and the desire for the lead character to be choked constantly. Also here is the link to the virgin pig we want you to prank: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/BradmanTV-Live Dead applauds the GI Joe trailer for the fact that it shows a piece of French history being destroyed in the beginning, but then it all goes to shit once it starts to look like a shitty episode of the power rangers. As if there was ever a good episode of the Power Rangers. Here's the trailer let us know what you think: Ok so the fags at the movie studio wont let people embed their trailer on websites, so watch a much better GI Joe clip. We are doing a second live show on Saturday, May 16th at 10pm. You better be there to hear Mallrat laugh at the word Panties. Call our voice mail: (206)984-1178 or call us live: (909)461-4493 Follow us on twitter: twitter.com/offbeatpodcast twitter.com/deadsqwirl twitter.com/mommasqwirl twitter.com/theittybitty…

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Two terminators fucking makes me hard.

2009-05-06

Live show went off kind of smooth this week. We would like to welcome Omer who was fucking stoned and called the show to talk about his addictions then hung up because he probably OD'ed, it was nice knowing you dude. We drank wine basically because we had nothing left in the house to drink and we needed our fix, ok Dead drank wine and everyone else provided Whine. That was a terrible joke and I deserve to be slowly killed by a shitload of hyena's. have you ever seen those fuckers maul a zebra? Anyways, we talk politics, movies, J J Abrams new Star Trek, the Spirit, play perverted password, hauntings and Dead doesn't get to talk about Lost even though he had shit to say. Oh well more for next week. All in all it was a very different show, different but good, we hardly made fun of anyone besides Dead and his sweats in high school. Since we chat about Star Trek here's the trailer. Voicemail: (206)984-1178 Join the manliest turd competition in the forums. Direct MP3 Subscribe here Catch you next week, listen live 5/13, 10pm EST.…

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The splash back is the bidet!

2009-04-30

Well if you haven't figured it out, we discuss shit, literally talk about our shit, especially on Dead left that looked like an ostriches head and neck swinging from his asshole. We try and make fun of a conjoined twin but all of a sudden everyone has a heart, aaa boooooo! We look at pictures of this cat getting stepped on, they were horrifying and will not be shown on the site but we will show you how cute the cat was: If you missed the live feed, you missed out on seeing the CRZA and Mallrat bromance and the cock yelling video which we ay share with you. Maybe if you ask nicely. We had a stroke of retarded genius and are running the manliest turd contest join in on the forums, submit pics of yourr turds at the forums. Voicemail us: 206-984-1178 email us: feedback@offbeatpodcast…

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That girl looks like a shuttle cock!

2009-04-23

You know it sucks to not have any legs, but it also makes for great fodder when there is a bunch of assholes with microphones. We rag on some poor third world country bitch with a basketball for a mode of transportation, we fucked up half of our audio equipment, we had a blast with an old friend sugar bear, talks of period sex found it's way into the conversation and we really never finished anything we started to talk about, but we are ok with that. Jamie Foxx said some shit, we don't finish discussing it, Some whore teacher sent a special loaf home in a book bag, we don't finish discussing it, and Perez Hilton got all gay about shit and we don't finish discussing it. After we get some beer in us this show really goes awol. Enjoy, we did! Videos of shit we didn't discuss: Cat Attacks Cute Reporter - Watch more Funny Videos Join our next live show on Wed the 29th Twitter.com/offbeatpodcast Voicemail number 206-984-1178…

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Drunk and Retardly

2009-04-15
Length: 1s

Well we tried to run it live, it worked even though we were shit faced drunk. Ricketts donned a mexicna wrestling mask, we talked about sex, pirates, and a vagina torn apart by water. Also tried to figure out why you would jump into a polar bear pit at the zoo. Video dump of all the shit discussed on the show: Call us: 206-984-1178 Join our forums and interact via twitter.com/offbeatpodcast…

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Yo, you have ZZ Top crotch.

2009-04-09
Length: 1s

Sup folks? New show for you guys, sorry it's a day late, my schedule sucks. We talk a lot of shit this show about some idiot from Texas, we discuss reverse racism, we try to make Itty Bitty cry and then ask you guys what you would do to make her cry. We play guess the sound, I would post the video here but you assholes would know what it was so instead I'll post the other videos we discuss: Call us: 203-984-1178 Discuss our shitty show over at our forums: offbeatpodcast.com/forums oh yeah and listen by clicking play right below or subscribe via …

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Fuck fair weather fans! (You cunts know who you are!)

2009-04-01

It's April fools day and Dead messed with some people because it was fun and immature kinda like our show. We play a new game show, and one of the cast members wins by a land slide. We discuss a man getting his junk stuck in a park bench. Here's the picture as promised: IttyBitty breaks out the most twisted pop up book we have ever seen. We talk of the new X-men and a whole slew of other shit. You should definately listen because I said so! Join our forums at offbeatpodcast.com and tell us what you learned from the show! call us: 206-984-1178…

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I hate your mom.

2009-03-25

Wow, this show really ran the gamut of shit to talk about. We chat of Obama on Leno like everyone else and their mother has been, we talk of Dead wanting to run over CRZA’s mom, we chat about hauntings, and we also bring you a new cast member to love and harass. Svetlana left the show and right off the bat we address this issue and we will stick to the perameters we set last show. The discussion oddly goes to Dead holding a tampon clinic for dumb broads in a Target and then we discuss a woman’s vagina that smells like a sewer trout. anywho, Check the site, if your not there already, converse on the forums or call us (206)984-1178…

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Decaf is like being blue balled.

2009-03-18

What's up queers, Here it is another show delivered straight to your ipod, or the internet if your family is too poor to buy an ipod. Anyway this week Dead finally gives away what the sound was from last week. We discuss how bad Dead's hometown has become. Dead and wifey discuss their Atlantic City trip and all the weirdo's down there. We talk Celebs and we re-visit the chimp attack. Check out the forums, offbeatpodcast.com/forums call us: (206)984-1178 oh yeah and listen to the show!…

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Like a worm wearing a turtleneck

2009-03-11

What's up, You looking for a new show? Well here it is complete with some un-wholesome goodness. Dead blames Octo-mom for the recession while CRZA whips up a contraption for Mormons to keep their wives in check.Yes this all happens in like the first minutes of the show. Dead bashes a prick he dealt with today, not literally although he wishes he could. We discuss retail and phone centers and learn some points of interest including call center people cannot hang up on you until you say goodbye. So call your favorite insurance company and shoot the shit. We introduce a new segment called phone a fag during our other open ended new segment queer or not queer. We chit chat about gay people hitting on us and of course the conversation switches over to talk of our little soldier hence the title of the show. We play guess the sound and never give the actual sound so tune in next week. That's right like Sly Stallone we had a cliffhanger. Anyways why are you still reading this? Go listen. And post a pic of your cock in the forums: Offbeatpodcast.com Call us: (206)984-1178 Now f off!…

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It's better than a metal rod in your pee hole.

2009-03-04

Dead wants to end the recession and he wants to end the recession by having Obama supply heated driveways to all. Fuck the snow, fuck it in it’s snowy ass. Our Beer of the week thinks it’s funny by spraying itself everywhere just like Ron Jeremy all over a nicely shaved bush. We talk about drunken negro face cookies, Megan Fox being all hot as a nun and how Dead feels good sinning cranking it to her hot nun ass. We also compare Brian Austin Green to a Lego character out of jealousy. Dead gets angry at some fag on stilts, too bad he didn’t fall off of the stilts and get implated into his ass. Anywho we talk about all kinds of other stuff as well, listen and then go discuss this shit in our forums. Call us at: (206)984-1178…

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What the fuck is a fupa?

2009-02-25

Well our old feed is now working again. go check us out in itunes, type offbeat into the stores search and click on the icon with the evil looking ipod on it. Easy, even easier if you were a fan of the old iteration. We discuss alot of stuff on the show tonight including douche bags at the casino, Dead’s almost Freddy Kreuger penis, We learn what a fupa is and wish we never did, we make fun of octo broad because she is fucking stupid and we banter about relationships and having the “talk” with children in this day and age. It’s fun and you can actually hear everyone in this episode, win for everyone unless your handicapped and you don’t like Dead’s extermination plan. Go discuss this shit in our forums. Call us at: (206)984-4410 or to check out the show…

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Off-Beat -- If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

2007-04-01
Length: 1s

Now you see, not many podcasts out there would force a person to show off their poop on webcam. It was completely uncalled for, but it happened, we apologize to the people who witnessed it first hand. We ran through a ton of stuff on the show this week, tons of Starstruck news, blasted through a ton of advice on Dear FTR and watched a mating video designed for pandas. Yeah it was an odd show, but one you shouldn't miss because we got a listener to play with her vibrator on the air.
Forums, go there:
www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Voicemail, call us:
(206)666-6325
Laterz,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Dead celebrity pinata.

2007-03-25
Length: 1s

Hey,
We discuss the world's first ever recorded sex doll and it's television debut, god it's creepy soo much so Mallrat wants to cuddle his blanket, fucking fag! We talk about Bra's 50th B-day party, ok he's only 33, and how we attempted to mkae his evening awkward, and we deal with a slew of metally challenged kids that joined the feed. All in all I want to hit a dead Lindsay Lohan with a bat.
Forums:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Phone:
(206)666-6325
Now go away!
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- It's all David Hasselhoff's fault!

2007-03-17
Length: 1s

This week brings a revelation to the cast of Off-Beat,
Global warming is David Hasselhoff's fault, we aren't sure why but it just is. On the show this week we get nerdy and discuss comic books, how brilliant Germany is because of the unwanted baby box, oh you'll hear it, and we bring back the top 5.
Anywho, go to our forums and be a prick:
www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Or call us, we die a little inside when we don't get voicemails:
206-666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- It's not cheating if...

2007-03-04
Length: 1s

Hey folks,
 Shit like this only happens to me I think, so here it is, we are doing a live show and boom out goes the internet. Gotta love it, sometimes I feel like god pisses down on me for some of the nasty things said on this show, if I were God I would be a vengeful God as well I guess so I should expect it. Anyway on the show we discuss the morality of cheating, a bitch so fat she didn't realize she was pregnant until the baby fell outta her and we dish out some advice to an escort. It's pretty much what you've come to love about us.
Forums, join em:
www.fortherecord.ws
Live show, listen to it:
Now every Saturday 11pm(ish) EST.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Just like a mini mall.

2007-02-24
Length: 1s

Hey,
 We recorded yet another live show. The Militia gets pretty ripped and discusses gay rappers, killer's living next door, terrible commercials that are ten years behind and how to skip out on your taxes.
Forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Next live show:
Saturday March 3rd 11pm EST
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Quad clown pr0n!

2007-02-17
Length: 1s

What's up a-holes,
  On the menu Britney Spears insanity, crack whores at bowling alleys, a new type of porno, expensive ass Valentine's day cards and sooo much more. Next live show:
Saturday February 24th 11pm
Join our forums:
www.fortherecord.ws
Leave us  a suggestion for bottle or box:
(206)666-6325
Laters,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- B.H.M.

2007-02-10
Length: 1s

Hey folks,
We had the webcams fired up the live feed going and our first listener submitted Bottle or Box. This thing was so bad Mallrat gave up the big chair to Zim because he almost puked, it would have been great cause Mallrat can afford to shed a few pounds! We drank 40's,  talked shit about people, and mourned the recently deceased. It's everything you've come to love about the show.
Next live show:
2/17 11pm est
Show info:
www.fortherecord.ws
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- The Cartoon Hoax.

2007-02-03
Length: 1s

Hey, it's us again invading you Ipod or whatever you use to tune in.
We discuss the ATHF issue and the retards that made it a big deal, people call in and then don't speak with us, we make fun of midgets and retards, not really a new thing for us and a balck fan emerges!
Until next week assbags,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- 5 cool points and a pickled octopus.

2007-01-28
Length: 2s

Holy crap,

What a good time we had on this one, soo much stuff to go over, so much torturing of Zim and he loved every minute of it. Zim also gives out a big announcement that the fans are sure to eat up! We cover punching a nine month old, Hef’s response to Kelly Osborne wishing to be in Playboy and a rediculous televangelist We are doing a live show February 3rd check out our site for details:

Http://www.fortherecord.ws

while there why not join our forums.

Drop us a voicemail:

(206)666-6325

Until next week,

~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Pubic hair is the key.

2007-01-20
Length: 1s

Hey,
  Another week another show, we discuss a 29 year old posing as a 12 year old to get butt, pubic hair on CSI, retarded people trying to pee and the urinal cakes that love them. We also dub our first winner of our new segment Ugly myspacer of the week tournament. We revamped our site this week as well so why not go check it out:
www.fortherecord.ws
and while your there surf on over to the forums.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Fully kraeusened (yes it's a real word!)

2007-01-14
Length: 1s

Hey,
 Yeah I'm talking to you! We actually learned something on this weeks show, that mess of letters in the title actually has a meaning much to our suprise! I'm sure you wanna find out what it means so tune in or we'll pull a tapeworm out ya ass! Anywho, we discuss many things because we have diahrea of the mouth as usual. Lindsay Lohan is dying and we celebrate, we mock ugly lesbians from myspace and try and dish out some advice to a loyal fan. All this and so much more for the amazing low price of.... FREE! So tune in and the check out our forums:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
And tune in live Saturday January 20th
11pm EST.
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Autographed ookie cookie.

2007-01-04
Length: 1s

Were bringing it back to the old school,
  That's all I gots to say sucka mc's. There was so much stuff going on in this episode I can honestly say it was well worth the two weeks off and we hope you feel the same. We obviously discuss the Saddam hanging, we rip on some retarded celebrities which is nothing new to us and a cast member reveals something that is worthy of recording a whole extra episode, which we did. Check it out on the forums as it will not be released on the forums.
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Call our voicemail:
206-666-6325
Catch you next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Fergie says it's not small!

2006-12-16
Length: 1s

Sup evil doers?
  In this episode we grab the mic and flip our tongues like a dike. We randomly spout out nonsense about Fergie, some dude from the Nether regio... Netherlands calls in, and we disuss lighting in movies for some dumb reason. It's an hour and a half worth of entertainment that's fit for monkeys.
Tune in live next week,
December 21st 11pm est.
www.fortherecord.ws/live.htm
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Join the insanity at our forums:
www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Dead deer sex!

2006-12-10
Length: 1s

Hola folks,
  Interesting evening here folks, we discuss everything to the morality of screwing a dead dear, homeless people, bowling alley radio, sex accidents and sooo much more. If you wanna join in on the conversation head on over to the forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Or maybe join us live:
Thursday December 14th 11pm EST
Catch ya later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Bat shit crazy!

2006-12-02
Length: 1s

Word,
  It's here, the live stuff, but now it's not live anymore, hence you can listen whenever. I don't know what I'm rambling about, anywho, we cover the Ultimate Warriors lunacy, discuss the ethnicity of moaning woman, and a seal set to kill off old people. Now that is my kind of animal! If anyone knows where I can purcahse one let me know there are some old people on my block that need to be taught a lesson, that lesson don't f' with Dead's seal!
Get to posting:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl

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Off-Beat -- The bad taste that stays with you!

2006-11-25
Length: 1s

 Hola,
  All your Thanksgivings were consumed by us, at least we consumed some nasty ass limited edition Jones soda that even my crazy cat wouldn't go anywhere near. Speaking of crazy we also discuss Michael Richards' totally uncalled for out burst and nominate a douche bag of the month! Join us will you, it'll only hurt for a second.
Get to posting:
Http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Join us:
November 30th live show 11pm est
goodbye,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- More balls than your honeymoon!

2006-11-18
Length: 44s

Hi,
 We did a show, hooray! Anyway it's a short one because we were distracted by the awesomeness that is the Wii. We talk about gamers getting shot, O.J. publishing a book about how he got away with murder and a few other things.
Forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Wiki:
Http://offbeat.wetpiant.com
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Highway of stink!

2006-11-13
Length: 1s

Hey folks,
  Sorry it's a bit late, it's amazing what happens when your on a solid schedule and you can't get the show up on said normal time. Anywho here's the show. We discuss the death of music as we knew it, that meaning Kurt Cobain's existance, We talk celebrity's including Britney smartening up and so much more. Anyway thanks for being patient and waiting for the show. We will catch you guys next week!
Come discuss the show:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/phpbb2
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
See you next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- The wrong hole!

2006-11-04
Length: 1s

Hey friends,
  It's a rolicking good time all rolled up into an mp3 file from us straight to you. We did a live show and had a wonder full turn out, it really means alot to us and we thank all of our great fans. Alright enough emo bullshit, onto the show. We cover everything from jacking off onto toys to Mallrat's game plan when he goes for insertion on his b-day. We also mocked many people via the phone line. All in all everyone had a great time and you should as well. Now get to joining our shiny new forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws
And while your at it why not drop us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325.
Next Live show this Thursday November 9th 11pm EST.
Until then,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Ignorance is a whore wearing Dolce and Gabbana

2006-10-28
Length: 1s

What up, what up?
 Welcome to another week another show. We discuss a ton of stuff this week from tipping to sex to shaving Mallrat's head live on the air. We also dable a bit in Some celebrity based news and a ton of tech goodies. Anywho, it's pretty much what you've come to expect from us, so go enjoy.
http://www.fortherecord.ws
http://www.offbeatpodcast.com
Voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Next live show:
Thursday November 2nd
11pm EST
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Stouffer's 2 for 1 special.

2006-10-20
Length: 1s

I pity the foo,
 Who gets easily offended. If that's you, you may wanna skip this one. The Militia goes to an all time low on this show with a brand new game show, listens in on some good old American domestic violence and to top it off agrees with some woman's insane way of using freezer. For the first time ever, I am about to apologize for what you are about to hear, but that's what you love about the show.
Now stop being such a jackass and join our forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Go post some info about yourself on our wiki under the fans section:
http://www.offbeat.wetpaint.com
or leave us a voicemail:
(206)666-6325
Until we meet in a truck stop,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Caution, don't feed the woman!

2006-10-15
Length: 1s

Hey folks,
 We did another live show that caused some more debate about the Spider-man masterbating issue that won't go away. JBJ also chimes in again this week and gives you some more insight into how to keep your woman in check. We harvest phone calls, Mallrat put on about 5 poiunds because he was eating a bucket of fried foods and we get a visit from the last person you guys would ever expect to drop in. All in all it's another mediocre show from a bunch of guys with nothing better to do. But that's what you've come to love about us. Now stop reading this and go chat in the forums.
Forums,
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
Drop us a voice comment,
(206)666-6325
and make sure to check out our live show schedule,
we will be live this Thursday October 19th:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/live.asp
for all the details.
Catch ya later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Bitch... don't make me shock you!

2006-10-05
Length: 1s

Howdy folks,
  Interessting evening here, and guess what, we captured it all as an mp3 just for you! We discuss so much crap tonight it's bananas, oh god kill me for saying that. Anywho, we take phone calls, even though we weren't doing a live show, now that is fan support. We discuss drive through etiquette, how to keep your bitch in line via JBJ's 12 steps, and we take on some serious issues as well including gun control and keeping you child on a leash.
 Feel like discussing this episode, join us in the forums:
http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums
 Angry enough to wanna voice your opinion?
Call us on our voicemail line:
(206)666-6325
Until next week:
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Otomix pants for Chuck Norris.

2006-09-28
Length: 1s

Howdy folks,
  We dabble a bit in our second live show and it goes much smoother than the first one. We talk about pooping while facing each other, super cockaroaches, celbreities giving whores a dirty sanches and so much more than space we have to use here on this blog. So why not eat an apple while listening to our live but not so live show! Check out our forums over at www.fortherecord.ws for the schedule to our next live show and details on how to tune in.
http://www.offbeat.wetpaint.com Write some show notes if this wasn't enough.
Drop us a voicemail,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Technical difficulties.

2006-09-17
Length: 52s

What's up folks,
It's a day late but I guess late is better than nothing right. Here's the scoop:
we realize you all had troubles getting into the live feed and we appreciate you trying religiously. We had a hard time as the server we use was slammed so no more live shows on a Saturday. Any way here is the episode that aired last night, kinda. Thanks guys.
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat - - @$$ Licker.

2006-09-09
Length: 2s

What's up suckas,
It's like a marathon of good times this episode without all the running as most of us are fat and/or lazy. We discuss everything from eating out a chicks asshole to peeing on ten year olds at a NIN concert to taking a stingray barb to the heart. We would like to go on record as saying that is a pussy way to go. Any way enjoy this weeks show it's a fun one and we'll catch you on the flip side. If you want more show notes, well write them yourself over at http://offbeat.wetpaint.com.
Call us with comic questions,
(206)666-6325
Until we meet in your dreams,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Regulators.

2006-09-02
Length: 1s

What's up folks,
 We got a restraining order from Zim and we read it on the air. Also included in this amazing package would be discussion of midget stippers, things Jesus had, Was not was, all things geeky as we re-take Geektopia back from Zim and so much more for 4 easy payments of..... well free and it's all courtesy of your friends here  at Off-Beat.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Product placement.

2006-08-26
Length: 1s

Hey suckas,
  another week another show for your stank asses. We have some fun this week by singing some death metal, we put product advertisements in the show and then demand these companies pay us! There are also some PSA's thrown in for good measures. We talk about all kinds of random things including carpet chocolates cat's pissing on frozen pizzas and so much more than your feeble little mind can possible comprehend. It's also come to our realization that we believe Zim has quit, so for anyone that enjoyed his quality time spent entertaining you a-holes wish him well in the forums.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~Deadsqwirl X.x

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F sweaty Betty!

2006-08-19
Length: 54s

Heya,
 It's here, yet another episode of Off-Beat folks. Johnny blue jeans sits in and tells us what comicon is, we cover some news, dub our douche bag of the month and discuss random things just like we always do.
Drop us a line:
(206)666-6325
Tune in next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Walking in on your parents.

2006-08-12
Length: 1s

  Hey folks,
Some house cleaning crap before the meat of this post, new site is up with some new features, www.fortherecord.ws.  We cold call a fan a hillarity ensues. In the mix this week:
--Shocking your penis.
--Rocking zombies like a hurricane.
--Don't give Hillary money.
--Add stuff to our wiki, www.offbeat.wetpaint.com
--New listener email.
--A member of Mallrat's familydrunk? No!
--F you Nick Cage.
--Little miss sunshine.
--Stars looking for cheap and free publicity.
--Please god Nicole Kidman do it.
--Some Japanesse piss water.
--FTR talks etiquette.
Give us a call
(206)666-6325
Catch ya next week:
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- The Blaccent

2006-08-05
Length: 1s

Well hello again kiddies, it's fun time yet again. We welcome  Joe from the American Coalition against Corporate Greed to the show who is fighting the good cause against high gas prices. Also in the mix:
--Mel's agent speaks to us.
--She looked at least 18 and was dgging deep folks.
--Things you shouldn't say to an arressting officer.
--Hey guess what, our DB of the month is a tie in from the above.
--How to hit your head on a breath-a-lizer machine.
--Use a tin can with a rope on it instead of your cell phone.
--This beer belongs under a mattress just like a dead hooker.
--Hey, help these guys out with their cause it's a good one for once:
www.myspace.com/wewantcheapgas
--What the hell could you possibly do with a virtual porn star.
--Zim cleans house with points then goes home and dirties his keyboard.
--Zombies, Gangsters, Cease and desist orders and bad tech products.
--Black, White or Asian the home game.
Call us with your home game answere or your thoughts on high gas prices:
(206)666-6325
Thanks for checking us out guys, later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Someone blow the singer from Candlebox so they can disappear again.

2006-07-29
Length: 1s

 Hey folks,
here we are again, back with another fun filled episode of audio diahrea! We cover all the topics you need to hear about this week like dogs falling from the sky. In the mix:
--Zim's poor mom.
--So metal it will F your face!
--We talk about all kinds of shit on fire.
--Kevin Smith hits a homerun.
--Mallrat comes out of the closet.
--Ugh, seriously thank god it was free.
--Ummm listerine and beer do not mix well.
--So happy together....
Hey, call us will you:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Old enough to know better.

2006-07-22
Length: 1s

What's up sucka's, interessting show as usual. Zim admit's some crap, Mallrat an I have phone sex, then vomiting ensues for quite sometime and Zim pretends he was at the World Cup this year for some dumb reason. In the mix:
--The Michael Bay movie repair kit.
--Zim likes yelling into the mic but also contributes something, yes he contributed something funny!
--Shiting adobe take 2.
--We need to patent this shit!
--Accepted gets accepted by FTR.
--West Hartford police are cock gobbling homos.
--Geektopia's premiere.
--Top 300 reasons not to...
--Hillary Cunton, I mean Clinton needs to go the way of the dinosaurs.
--Ash brings you the free yet again.
--Leave it to an Asian to burn down a school while cooking a dog, poor fido.
--A beer made from a river.
--An update from a few weeks ago and gag gifts galore.
--Have you ever shit yourself? One of us has!
--We need to get used to the new outro music.
--The New England Challenge.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Unlikely places to put "it!"

2006-07-15
Length: 1s

Why does it feel like everytime Jay is here, I lose control of the show? I guess it's a good thing. Anywho, wanna learn what a BK stacker consists of? Well we answere your question. Also, if your to poor to purchase a sex toy, we teach you how to make your own on the cheap, and we build one in the studio. Jay claims the sex toy was asking for it, but we seem to disagree. In the mix:
--Fun with editing.
--Burger eating contest minus that cheating asian that can destroy hot dogs.
--Who will become the next taste tester for alpo.
--F-it then dump it in the trash, just like a real girl. (hey Ash said it, not me!)
--FTR's fan of the month.
--UFO fairs better then the Blueberry beer we drank last week.
--Greco Roman a-holes on a dare.
--A fair warning.
--Danger Will Robinson, system failure down below.
--we get way off track, we were supposed to do Starstruck, but we really just rag on George Lucas.
--Stay tuned after the show....if you dare.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- How to eat your own jizz.

2006-07-08
Length: 1s

It disturbed me to name the show that, but alas we had no choice. We cover a bunch of crap and read some stuff but nothing has ever disturbed me as much as the dudes post we read that eventually lead to the name of the show. In the mix:
--F you Sony Pictures.
--New theme song, whadda ya think?
--Some cool new kicks.
--Mallrat takes it in the face like a champ, again, we are gonna get him a rubber suit for the next fourth.
--Pirates kinda reviewed.
--The Prez gets our Top 5 dedicated to him.
--This doll is freaking disturbing.
--How many times can this dude drop the f bomb?
--The six worst ways to pass on.
--Zim shares some stalker stories, and some sand paper masterbation tales.
--Oh yeah, we reviewed a beer in this segment, somewhere between all the gross masterbation crap.
--Ftr internet action force presents World Beat.
--Zim still stalking.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl

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Off-Beat -- Just the three of us!

2006-07-02
Length: 1s

  We can make it if we try, just the three of us, building castles in the sky. We were wickedly short staffed but it was a good thing. This is a fun one, ever wonder what it would be like to hump an animatronic pig? Well, Mallrat has and we discuss it. In the mix:
--The telethon, FTR style.
--The monkey chased Zim away, that's all it took?
--$3500 for what? Are you kidding me?
--Chim Chim wants to cum in your hair, because Zim won't.
--How the fuck does a fez hat stay on a shriner?
--A waste of 8 beans!
--Pirate porno a family friendly version!
--Porno for the mentally challenged.
--FTR's retard of the week.
--Well, we could consider this dude a retard too.
--Is it gay if some dude blows you while your sleeping and you cum without knowing?
--Iiiiiittt's back.
--A new segment that covers the Prey demo, a new way of buying a coke, and a Loco Roco review.
--A listener submission, and we get serious, kind of.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~Deadsqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- The repercussions of a penis in your mouth!

2006-06-24
Length: 1s

 Wow, all I can say is wow.
I still cannot comprehend the events of this evening. If you listen to one of our shows, this should be the one. I will not give away any events here but this is what's in the mix:
--Backwoods Off-Beat.
--Do not let the television raise your children.
--What woman wants a cock slapped into their head?
--Jay starts making fun of everyone and everything, Dead losses control, and this is where we end the show notes.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Until next week, if we decide to try and recover after this hurricane of a show,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Friendship pies.

2006-06-17
Length: 1s

Hola bitches,
 Zim refuses bottle or box! Seriously, we have been wondering when he was gonna say he didn't wanna play! Ash sucks it up and takes the torture. In the mix:
--Ash's anti-truth.
--Mallrat's 1 day vacation, can you consider this a vacation?
--Dustin Diamond will soon be a hobo.
--Are you really gonna look cool playing the Wii? Probably not.
--Some bald dude playing Ghost Rider.
--Method Man a rip off artist? Ummm ok.
--Glam rocker, porn star or exotic fruit.
--If you didn't enjoy it, it's not a crime.
--Someone buy my vote will ya!
--Key lime friendship.
--Sex changes mean you can beat them right?
--Hadji Girl
Give us a call, let us know why we should keep Bottle or box,
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- What?

2006-06-10
Length: 1s

Hola whores!
 Sorry, I'm like an abusive author. But I will give you a show worthy of taking a crap on and hiding it under your mom's bed.  We  go over some topics that matter including: gay marriage, bad television and sooo much more. In the mix:
--Interview with Zim's dad.
--New Jack was the man.
--Who the hell would sleep with that guy.
--A "cheesy" tattoo, eh, eh, listen you'll get it!
--Uwe Boll defends his mess of a movie.
--A new segment, the female lounge.
--36 is > 18.
--Defend your product Snapple and Xerox.
--Militia at the movies.
--A true Off-Beat ending.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Too much Dick not enough Jane!

2006-06-03
Length: 1s

Holy crap we had a ton of people in the studio, if you can call it that. Cavs, Angry (racist) Pirate, Sumbody28, Rusty Trambone, and SumChick all help us deliver yet another retarded show. We cover all kinds of BS this show from Zim singing to a tattoo of a hand on your prick. In the mix:
--One year, and he's still the only one to speak up.
--Zim wants to tattoo Spidey's hand on his unit.
--Huge breasts of childhood friends.
--Addidas soccer jersey's.
--Dumb women hazing people.
--CRZA elaborates on his creepy mind powers.
--Steven Seagall thinks he is Eric Clapton, sadly he is not.
--Some douche should form an emo band.
--We attack Lost stars and washed up pop stars.
--Zim tries to defend his title.
Call us for god's sake.
(206)666-6325
Join the order:
<a href="http://www.fortherecord.ws/forums">Do it!</a>
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Cock rock hallelujah!

2006-05-28
Length: 1s

Off-Beat love you long time this week. First off happy one year mother f'ers. Thank you all who have been tuning in especially our hardcore fans, you guys are great and you know who you are. It's an odd one, ok so all of them are. We talk women, Zim gets tortured and CRZA sings for your enjoyment. In the mix:
--Dead on edge.
--Some dumb word that means fashionable woman.
--FTR in the closet.
--10 hot women, that we disagree with.
--Hollywood is going downhill because of the actors.
--Mallrat wants to punch the dude that was behind him.
--If you buy her a drink, FUCKING TALK TO HER AFTERWARDS!
--Chocolate makes you smarter, way to go fat assess.
--Would you pick up a five dollar bill if it was coverd in poo?
--We share how we lost our virginity.
--CRZA rocks the Vedder!
Pick up the phone a-hole:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- More than a feeling!

2006-05-19
Length: 1s

Good times, good times. Zim misses a week and guess what happens, we torture him deal or no deal style!! It is one worth listening to just for the shrieks of agony. We do lots of old school stuff this week and Mallrat popped the button on his jeans after we recorded! In the mix:
--Ash9 Zombie hunter!
--Zim's next pussy ward hath arrived.
--Protestors abound over a work of fiction.
--A brilliant idea as we spill alot of shit.
--Hitler vs. the clowns.
--Zim... DEAL OR NO DEAL?
--Wow foreigners do some dumb stuff, but this one is talented.
--Listener pwns clear eyes.
--Don't fucking hold her hand if your married!
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Foreigner's don't say no.

2006-05-14
Length: 53s

Have you ever smelled a sweaty geek? No not Greek, geek. Well Ash9 has and he has a solution. Trust us he was at E3 and that is the epicenter for sweaty geeks. We are a little short staffed this week, but whateva, the show worked. In the mix:
--Zim's jury duty story that he didn't want you to hear.
--Oh god Shakira can't sing.
--F you for ruining this for me Angelina.
--Ash does the top 5... again.
--Terri Hatcher gets attacked by bees, The government F's with Cannes director and Dj goes to jail for talking smack.
--Horror movie or Japanesse porn.
Aight turds, give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- I'm so emo I'm gonna give myself some paper cuts then bathe in vinegar.

2006-05-06
Length: 42s

Hola bitches,
  If your looking for the typical episode, well, your not gonna get it. We talk about some girl's ass, Omega13 prank calls some douche, a fat dude on a scooter, a toaster of glass, some fat beeotch's baby gets ragged on and we release the winner of the second annual Sebastian Bach-Off. If your looking to see what's in the mix, try harder, you may find them somewhere here.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later ho bags,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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45 -- Brandtson, Pearl Jam and Taking back Sunday.

2006-05-05
Length: 21s

Hey all,
Here it is as promised the first episode of 45. Please give it a chance as it isn't all toilet humor like Off-Beat. On the menu:
--Tawney Kataen.
--Taking Back Sunday louder now reviewed.
--Mick Jagger's sitcom.
--Guest reviewer Jason from 12 train reviews Pearl Jam.
--May 9th's new releases.
--Brandtson's Hello control Reviewed.
Drop us a line:
(206)600-4526

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Off-Beat -- The Musical

2006-05-03
Length: 42s

Hola,
 Hey all, It saddens me to inform you that this will be the last Wednesday episode of Off-Beat. We are going back to our original schedule of Saturdays only. Before we do that though we have a musical for ya, we projectile vomit some news out to you and make Zim do something nasty.
Anyway thank you all for your support of the Wednesday shows, who knows, maybe they will return.
Call us,
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Bach and Roll!

2006-04-30
Length: 50s

 It's rematch time folks. Not that any of you have had the chance to hear the original one as it was a private affair. Zim gave a stellar performance last year, can he repeat this year? In the mix:
--Hype!
--The bell be here and Bach is a rock god.
--The order of the albino testicle.
--Only half the wit of Letterman.
--Slapping thighs and five guessing guys.
--A rocker with a rep.
--Your 33 and you can't read or write?
--The pre-game warm ups.
--Mallrat gives it his best yelp.
--Zim was loved in Detroit and is equally loved here in CT.
Vote for your favorite vocalist, Zim or Mallrat!
Call in your vote:
(206)666-6325
~~DeadSqwirl

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Off-Beat -- Sinema

2006-04-26
Length: 50s

What's up theater goer's? We got your summer movie sneak preview here along with some spite. We cover everything from Snakes in a plane to Keanu Reeve's newest, even though they animated him, he still isn't an animated actor. I hate that guy. Anyway no show notes as the only segment we do is Starstruck, get your popcorn and your sno-caps and sit back and help us make fun of Snakes on a plane!
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Later,
DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Punky chips ahoy, oi vey!

2006-04-23
Length: 51s

Seriously, have you seen that commercial? We have and we are divided on our feelings of it, you may be suprised who actually enjoys that dretch! Obviously it's not me from this post! We cover a ton of news and ramble about random things also. In the mix:
--Ahnold is cumming!
--Bra is like an old house.
--A big greasy thug at the movies.
--Dr. Beer speaks out against Bush because he is the decider.
--WTF is up with advertisers now a days?
--Woman gives birth and doesn't even know, only in Waterbury.
--Man this fucking dude cries alot.
--A closing worthy of descent into hell!
Call us! (206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- F Comedy Central

2006-04-19
Length: 46s

What's up ho bags, Comedy Central is on a roll, censoring shit losing their cash cow called Chapelle, what's next, skull fucking your grandmother? Crap didn't mean to give them any ideas. In the mix:
--Anthony is a sauce slurper.
--Put your fricking clothes on foriegner.
--Cola and a coffee does not belnd very well, plus we reveal what your piss would look like.
--South Park censored... WTF!
--Chapelle speaks out against Comedy central.
--Village people cop made the news? Are you f'ing kidding me.
--A way to avoid skin cancer, don't say we never did anything for you.
--Her name is wiener, and we answer her questions including a query about candy and popularity.
--Masturbating more than once a day is un-healthy, sorry to disappoint fans.
Until Saturday, give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Happy Easter, you're going to hell!

2006-04-15
Length: 54s

What's up a-holes, happy Easter, and if your reading this and listening to our show, your going to hell. This is the episode that will warrant us forever living in eternal flames. In the mix:
--Who's gonna ---- me?
--We dub the winner of our contest, wait until she sees cockzilla!
--WTF is a dick blot?
--Things not to do in Ohio.
--Bring back calling people a c**t.
--Welcome to drunken India air, I <3 Ganesh!
--If you live in South Africa make sure you molest your employees.
--A microwave in the face = good times.
--Our favorite ex!
--A Nintendo rap, a tampon bouqet, and something that just shouldn't  have been done.
Give us a call,
(206)666-6325
Catch ya on Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Dio @ Denny's

2006-04-12
Length: 52s

Ever wonder what happens to washed up 80's metal stars that don't end up on the Surreal Life? Wonder no longer mofo's, we look into the life of Ronnie James Dio right outta the gate. Here's what else is in the mix:
--Dio can't pay his bill.
--Bad teeth is not all that matters, where's my apology.
--Tonight on Fox news, how to rape children on myspace.
--Karma is a bitch isn't it N*sync fans.
--Scientology on the show yet again, well, when we don't like something we make sure you know about it.
--Tinky's got a gun, Tinky's got a gun, the whole world's come undone, he looked and stared at the sun.
--Alright, the underwear thing, it was funny the first 49 times.
--Barry Bonds + Bra = hatered
--That pitcher is totally a wall H4x0r.
--An old segment is revived for some odd reason.
Aight nekkas, we have a phone number, you can call it. You should also leave a message for us:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl

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Off-Beat -- W.W.C.D.

2006-04-09
Length: 46s

We should sign up to be one of those American Inventor pricks, I made me a product you folks will not believe. Anywho, has anyone seen those W.W.J.D. bracelets? Well, we don't have any of those things but we do have a new game to play, and it explains this weeks title. In the mix:
--Winter's morn, we need to patent this shit!
--Drinking and stinking.
--Clerks II and a fat peice of poo.
--An interessting way to hear wedding bells.
--The secret lives of Mr. Mallrat.
--A huge penis, a vibrating toothbrush and some other random shit.
--Kidnappings, Peabody awards and more f'n reality shows oh my!
--We look into the inner sanctum of the CRZA.
Give us a call, one week left to guess how tiny Mallrat's prick is:
(206)666-6325
Unitl Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl

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Off-Beat -- 70+

2006-04-05
Length: 45s

 What's up maggots. If you had the chance to eliminate any three creatures from existance what would they be? Well wether you wanna know or not we share ours and trust us, it's in true Militia fashion to say the least. In the mix for this hyper active mega mongoloid wacky Wednesday packed episode:
--Ash9 writes his first ever skit, and it fails miserably.
--Like short bus special.
--Snake is a lot like life, WTF is snake?
--Japan gets tv on their cell phones and mine barely worked up until two weeks ago.
--Buzz air, the coolest ring this side of a camel and getting a tan while on you pc.
--Gay cowboys who love to eat pudding,  Chris Farley returns...kinda, F Stern, and some other Hollywood bullshit.
--All kinds of random crap as we go through our Militia world ranked game.
Word suckas, give us a call with your answeres to our match game questions or if yout think cotton candy is tasty. Oh yea...
here's the number:
(206)666-6325
Later,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Powdered balls.

2006-04-01
Length: 41s

 Have you ever powdered your nuts? Well, one of us does frequently. Can you guess which one of us does? We reveal this mystery and the mystery of the monkey spoon, all in this episode. In the mix:
--Ftr's unsolved mysteries.
--Mallrat loves to sing.
--Bra shows his age!
--Ash IX.
--We called it... Gnomeo and Juliet.
--Tide is a bunch of good sports.
--Dodgeball, Flashers, and Howard Cosell oh my.
--Dear 18 year old father, dance on her lawn when you realize it's not yours.
Give us a call:
(206)666-6325
Until Wednesday,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x

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Off-Beat -- Another bad day.

2006-03-29
Length: 50s

Here it is folks, not sure if your ready but we are doing two shows a week and this is the first of our mid week shows. It's a fun one, in the mix:
--Fleshlight in the house.
--The Mail ninja.
--Countdown to lockdown, when will it end?
--Damn that's an ugly baby, Alienware what are you thinking? Dell, why Dell!
--A damn good sperm donor.
--It depends, is it a retard with boobs?
--Who called it, Chef got slaughtered!
--It does kinda hide the Joan of arc haircut.
--We mess with people in Pwned by Off-Beat.
--An Off-Beat favorite with a new touch... alightning round.
--Mallrat lies about masturbation.
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- The rise of Cornflake.

2006-03-25
Length: 44s

Yeah mother F'ers, show number one in a two show week. We bring the thunder like none other. In the mix:
--State of the union.
--What up what up, Cornflake.
--That's what super glue is for.
--V for Vagina.
--Subtitles for the black man, what's up with that?
--A craptastic In the news.
--An elderly methamphetamine lab.
--Plasma pong
--Lotsa whitebread in the house.
Check your shit on Wednesday as we are doing another episode this week, straight to your face.
Call us with your guess on Mallrat's cock size:
(206)666-6325
Until we meet again, DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Life and Death X.X

2006-03-18
Length: 45s

What's up fuckers, I have a daughter!! On top of that we bring the goods this week!! And as an added bonus I use a ton of exclamation points in the show notes!! In the mix this week:
--You gotta have a montage.
--Congratuations lucky listener.
--We promise two shows a week.
--Urban Maternity, we patented that shit don't touch it!
--F-Isaac Hayes
--He's not really dead.
--But no seriously, he really was Chewbacca, F-you geek we know it was him!!
--Old Speckled Hen
--What a poon fainting, you got what you deserved.
--Run Mexican run.
--Ash's Hoboisms include;
-----Xbox and Sony merging.
-----Kill yourself a President.
Give us a call assholes,
(206)666-6325
Or email us:
Off-Beat
Until we meet again!
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Quantity not quality.

2006-03-12
Length: 1s

Hey folks, hope this isn't your first listen. We try some new stuff called Five with a fan, we talk about Bond and Angry Pirate sits in. In the mix:
--Zim translater.
--Moshing is GAY.
--The Notorious B.I.G. over Elvis? What is this world coming to.
--WTF is the IBuzz.
--Pa represent.
--Tipping and female revolutionaries.
--More kegs, wow we like beer.
--Blonde Bond revisited.
--Thanks Trigger, now Mallrat has a complex and hums your song everywhere he goes. But listen to it at the end here.
Prolly no show next week, sorry. Please keep the hate mail to a minimum, my wife is giving birth for God's sake. If you must send hatemail, send it to Mallrat
Call us:(206)666-6325.
Catch you guys soon.
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Joe Strummer DiBenedetto

2006-03-04
Length: 1s

Ya suckers, so much fun so little time!! We went a little bit nuts on this episode, we had to cut some scheduled segments as we drank a ton and rambled alot. Also we have a very special guest in the studio, you asked and you shall receive. In the mix this week:
--Who will be the Godfather?
--Gwen's little powder sniffer..
--Place you bets.
--Who the f**k would blow Keith Richards?
--F Disney, They are the root of all evil.
--Indians and the white man get along!
--A new found hope in East Hartford.
--Another screaming Asian with eels.
--Party keg in the house part 2.
--FTR revisits Hollywood.
--Zim eats some un-baked goods.
--Bra cleans house.
Call us if you'd like and sing us a song.
(206)666-6325
Until next week
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- What do you look for in a woman?

2006-02-25
Length: 1s

  Welcome back a-holes! There is a fun one in store for you!! Two, yes two, count 'em, bottle or boxes. Zim whines, the Miltia cheers and you the listener benefit! In the mix this week:
--Fun with editing
--More guesses about down below.
--Mallrat whines about rising condom prices.
--Zim's first bottle.
--Almost as bad as pornography.
--Blow jobs, Big boobed celebrities and the Militia drools.
--Mallrat cries fowl, and whines some more.
--Hibernian in the house.
--Lottery winners are gay.
--Beans in the box.
Call us with your guess for Mallrat's penis size:
(206)666-6325 Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Whipped!

2006-02-18
Length: 59s

  What the hell is going on here today? We are missing two Militia members, CRZA and Mallrat admit some crazy shit, we drank out of a keg and listened to porno. What more could you ask for out of a show? In the mix this week:
--Zim and Bra's excuses.
--Walken appears.
--Mallrat shares his sexual woes already.
--CRZA and Mallrat want to fuck Joe Strummer.
--DBOTM update.
--We rag on celebrities, god that's fun.
--Keg in the house mother F'er.
--Is your shakra in line?
--Can you guess their race? Bonus points for the member that made it!!
--Where the hell is this guy from, fax machine?
--Post script, stick around.
Call us with what you think Mallrats cock size is, (206)666-6325
Thanks for checking us out, tell your friends or we'll mail you anthrax.
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Virginity begone!

2006-02-11
Length: 57s

  It slices it dices it juliannes. It's a celebration people, Mallrat has lost his virginity, yes you read that right, Mallrat has lost his virginity. In the mix this week:
--Leave it to Beavis take 2
--Fan of the week, you know you wanna be it!
--Mallrat shots and scores in all four quarters.
--Douche baggery at it's best.
--Hey, it has less calories than a cup of skim milk.
--CRZA spills his guts and the Militia is in awe.
--Wasabi and coffee beans = nasty!
--Jesus on your pancakes and in the kitchen with the Militia.
--In San Francisco it is illegal to...
Call us:
(206)666-6325 BUY A SCREENED TEE SHIRT,
Click here!
We …

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Off-Beat -- Zim appreciation day.

2006-02-05
Length: 1s

  It's an interessting one folks, will the real Zim Ashe please stand up. Mallrat has no voice, Zim triples the pleasure, and some 8 year old is still breast feeding! In the mix this week;
--Will the real Zim Ashe please stand up.
--Off-Beat's first chart topping hit.
--Reality shows suck ass.
--Car wrecks are fun, umm, maybe not.
--A long ass FTR Militia that results in a debate.
--Some dude eats his feces to cover up his alcoholism.
--We drink various beers.
--Have you looked at your own shit, some of us have.
--Breast feeding til 9 years old.
--137 wings.
--No idea about video games.
Call us (206)666-6325
Buy a T-shirt, it really will help out our show.
And boycott Podcast Alley cause it's gay!
Until next week,
DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- As American as apple pie.

2006-01-29
Length: 45s

  It slices, it dices, it brings grown men to the verge of tears. In this episode Zim faces a tough challenge, Mallrat gets all three answers and Ash reeks of ganja. All will be revealed should you choose to listen! In the mix:
--A racist prick.
--Novus Dae in the monologue.
--What up what up returns, unfortunately.
--The Green Lanterns have succeeded.
--An un-effective marketing plan.
--Why we named the show what we named it.
--Drinking and driving is fun, especially while driving a bloodmobile.
--The answer to a British girls question.
--The Chaotic new beer of the week segment!
--Militia at the movies!
--The life of a couch potato.
--Mr. T puts his pity on you!
Call us:
(206)666-6325
Email us your guess on how small Mallrat's unit.
Until next week M f'ers,
DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Vampires suck!

2006-01-22
Length: 1s

Hey all, welcome to the new format for Off-Beat. Our sponsers have spoken and we have listened. Hopefully you guys dig what we are doing and to our old fans, I hope you continue to listen as we value you as much as Martin (Mallrat) values his family. Welcome to the new begining!
--We speak of unions.
--We smoke some Cuban cigars.
--And to finish the show we drink some red wines!
Until next week,
~~Jay!…

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Off-Beat -- We <3 Bacon!

2006-01-15
Length: 1s

  What's up everyone, interessting show as always, starts off seriously but quickly returns to the immaturaty our loyal listeners are used to. In the mix:
--Bacon on my mind.
--The lanterns failed Zim, again.
--Sumbody's return!
--Mallrat's gracefullness is like a garbage can in the wind.
--Jessica Simpson deserved it!
--Horror movies as of late suck!
--Blacklisted because of the first ammendment.
--High school reunions and wretched assholes!
--Sleeping with a mute.
--Calling office mates fat bitches.
--Beer for D and D dorks.
--Black White or Asian's triumphant return.
--Nude news and passing the breath-a-lizer!
Call us (206)666-6325
Guess how big Mallrat's tool is and then join our discussion on our love of bacon.
Until we meet again,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat -- Gleaming the podcast!

2006-01-08
Length: 1s

  Hey, here for your consumption is an episode worthy of coming out of your colon. We talk endlessly about movies, play some games, dish out some advice and then shit on your chest, just like your step-dad while your sleeping. In the mix:
--The retraction.
--Hackers are gay.
--Die Uwe Boll.
--Does Teen wolf hold up?
--Building the perfect woman.
--Dirty Dicks get voted off the island.
--Guilty pleasure, small weiners and rebutals.
--Perverts and lucky men.
--How many cranks does it take to tire Mallrat.
--Bumper dumpers and fucking your computer.
You know the drill: Call us (206)666-6325 Vote for us on Podcast alley even though it's gay! Until next week,
DeadSqwirl X.x…

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WOOOOO DRINKING!

2005-12-31
Length: 48s

It's new year's and the Militia is fucking wrecked. Listen to our show or Mallrat will puke in the back seat of your car. Season 2 next week fuckers!…

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Why'd you fill my stocking with hate?

2005-12-24
Length: 32s

  Merry Kwanzaa or was it Chanuka, well whatever your vice, have a good one. We figured we'd give you the present your parents wouldn't want you to have, a special episode filled with spite! Hey at least it's better than a fruitcake! In the mix mother fuckers:
--Story time with Dead.
--Santa's got a present for Zim.
--Zim's holiday getaway.
--The dangers of eating KFC.
--Someone send Gwen a hanger...quick.
--CRZA explains to us why he doesn't have a girlfriend.
--We talk about horrible Hollywood.
--Embezzeling is fun.
--Rotating co-hosts.
--Legless at Christmas.
Vote for us on Podcast Alley
Call us (206)666-6325
Until next week, ~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat episode 30 -- Welcome to the midget rodeo!

2005-12-17
Length: 58s

  Sup suckas, welcome to the chaos that is episode 30. This sunday sunday sunday, beer will be consumed, midgets will wear clown suits, and Zim will hate Mallrat!! In the mix for this week:
--FTR hotline.
--Dead signs a pact with the devil
--Sugary delights.
--Get over it Mallrat, it's only 50 cents.
--God I hate Paris Hilton!
--We finally got a hold of this beer!
--Don't let her get off first.
--A Heart attack on a bun.
--A total Springer moment.
--Art Asylum contest.
--Tell her you love her by telling her about your V.D. after you bang her.
--Binacatoe.
--Some dumb hurt d00d.
--What type of sexual deviant are you?
--10th graders, Drunk bitches, and drive-bys.
Vote for us on Podcast alley.
Call our Voicemail (206)666-6325.
And enter our contest.
Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat episode 29 -- Handhelds and watermelons.

2005-12-11
Length: 1s

Hey folks, it's time for 29. Mallrat is marching on the gay pride parade so we had to replace him for the week. If you see them on the news, Mallrat is the one wearing the pink assless chaps. Jay form Down with the scene sat in this week. In the mix:
--Creative commons.
--The lightning round.
--Forcing the hand.
--Inserting fruit where it doesn't belong.
--Scratchtastic.
--A totally average beer.
--Art Asylum contest.
--Ashamed of music?
--How do you wanna die.
--Dykes on bikes.
--Yarnball's revenge.
--Mallrat's prank.
CALL US (206)666-6325
VOTE FOR US ON PODCAST ALLEY
AND ENTER OUR CONTEST
Until next week DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat episode 28 -- And then there was five! :(

2005-12-03
Length: 54s

Hey all, we hath returned, well almost all of us. Bra got run over this morning, so he won't be joining us anymore. We got some fun stuff including kids falling down the stairs, a bunch of asshole trying to guess movie clips and a British broad who should bomb herself!
--The deflower foundation.
--Merry fuckin' Christmas.
--Zim's pussy ward rates high on the dork-o-meter.
--Bomb yourself bitch.
--Toby, toby, toby.
--An Art Asylum contest
--A child falls down the stairs and Dead loves every second of it!
--Naked guys unloading their clips.
--Some crappy movie clips.
--Please spell check your shit, please.
--Dead's drunk and can't read Hunter's joke.
--Blue tooth technology.
--Random girl pissing.
If anyone has a fat chick tied up in their basement, or you are a fat chick please bang Mikelite, we really want to hear it.
(206)666-6325
~~DeadSqwirl X.x…

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Off-Beat episode 27 -- Bad cooks and big boners!

2005-11-27
Length: 1s

  Hey all, episode 27 is here and it's not queer. Cavs returns from New Jersey to join us on the show. We bring back Black White or Asian, we do some news, talk of the 360 and nominate our king douche bag this month!
--Learn how to cook bitch
--We talk about Zim's pshychosis while listening to Useless.
--The 360 induces riots!
--Our marketing ploy
--Jack Thompson you mother fucker! Do something good for humanity, like feed yourself to a shark.
--Santa craps in a barrel.
--Blind whores with huge boobs!
--Poor battered Skittles.
--Someone else has a crazy mom also, holy crap.
--You know your gay if...
--Tom Cruise's sonogram.
--A coked up deer gets tranquilized.
--Orgasms are fun.
--In our pouch of mail.

CALL US (206)666-6325
until next week,
~Deadsqwirl x.X…

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Off-Beat episode 26 -- Crickets and Calves

2005-11-20
Length: 46s

 Interessting evening, we drank a bunch, we made Zim eat crickets and mealworms, We talk about all kinds of random shit from our lives and end the show in true Off-Beat fashion with a new bit. Included in the rowdiness is:
--Donating to out dreams.
-- Sometimes she burns!
--Off-Beat's first award.
--D&D Dorks will rejoice with this one.
--Poking people with sticks is funny.
--Piss and soap.
--Freddy Kreuger box.
--Mallrat's soul mate, let's just say she enjoys crying herself to sleep too!
--Roast beef stink, with a copper taste.
--More sticks poking things.
--Those wacky Iraqi's.
--More news, but we go astray, as usual.
--Moans, groans and the Militia guesses.
--Some rediculous rambling.
CALL US -- (206)666(the NUMBER of the BEASSSSSTTTTT!)-6325. Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 25 -- Celebrations abound!

2005-11-13
Length: 1s

Hola chicas. It's time for a real long episode of Off-Beat. This episode really tugs at the heart strings, Ok, maybe not. In true FTR fashion we bring the fun. We attack everything from chat rooms to our favorite things from the past 24 episodes. Alright enough of my yapping, here's the show notes:
--Red carpet rampage.
--Zim loves to *BLEEP*.
--Voicemail plug (206)666-6325.
--The weather for today looks Black.
--DRINK BITCH.
--My toupee is falling off.
--Only retards like chat rooms.
--Ugly vaginas.
--Blow jobs on dummies.
--Enemas and thick pricks.
--selling the stabbing.
--Take some time, if you had the chance, would you kill him?
--Bitches, bribery and cell phones.
--Some sentimentality, (probably spelled wrong, but you get the point.)
--Take a stroll down memory lane.
Laters, DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 24 -- Deportation and dysentery

2005-11-06
Length: 40s

Here it is folks, an episode one of you have been waiting for. Sorry it didn't go up on Saturday like normal, I was beat and figured our 5 listeners could wait a bit. Any way we have a rowdy show as usual for your auditory canal, it includes:
--Zimmy's little secret.
--A fallen rocker.
--Some chaos over CT.
--King kong goes 360.
--Sony loves cheaters.
--Mexicans in a Honda.
--Images of your first.
--Ash9 ends his campaign on a whimper.
--This part will keep you glued to your seat, lterally.
--A team that should never be.
--A necklace of human thumbs.
--Children's books written by douche bags.
--CRZA revisits the past.
--Our plea for Power Ranger costumes.

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Off-Beat episode 23 -- Sex talk, tweezers and redneck beatings.

2005-10-29
Length: 38s

Here it is for listening enjoyment, it's episode 23! Make sure to check out our exclusive Halloween episode on www.fortherecord.ws. In the mix for 23:  --The Porno files!
--50 something pounds of porno.
--PSP un-breakable.
--6 bucks down the drain.
--Skirts belong in the kitchen.
--Bottle or box, make the call Zim!
--Presidente gets thrown out of power.
--The meat market.
--Do I have the right number.
--We still hate 50 cent.
--The opressive boot of Santa.
--How to punish your penis.
--Handlebars... meet crotch.
Until next week fuckers!
~DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 22 -- Jerk-off's and jumpsuits

2005-10-22
Length: 40s

 Howdy folks, it's episode 22. Suprised we made it this far? Well we definately are. We got some fun stuff in true Off-Beat fashion this show and it contains:
--Dead's scarf.
--Zim and Dead piss on Canada and PA.
--Google crap and 50 cent.
--Mosh pits, the Green lantern and more.
--Peckers and parking lots.
--Sink scum.
--Your Mayor speaks... again!
--A spooky bevarage.
--give me oral anyday.
--Some cracked out whore figured out how to use email!
--Buy us an Elvis jumpsuit or a few! We will put them to good use.
Tune in next week, or CRZA will post pics of his batwings.…

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Off-Beat episode 21 -- Publicity drives and pubes.

2005-10-15
Length: 53s

Hello again, it's time for episode 21 in all it's rowdyness. We had some guests for this show being Angry pirate and Rusty trombone. In the mix:
--A new type of candidate.
--Blonde bond.
--Bea Arthur is a transvestite.
--Masturbation abound.
--Two Cows.
--A wrinkly old noodle.
--More out of your mayor.
--A whiny bitch.
--Pubes and poop chutes.
--Take a handicap person to a matinee.
Until next week,
-DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 20 -- Bat wings and Budweiser

2005-10-09
Length: 47s

What's up fuckers, we hath returned for yet another rowdy episode that consist of retards getting the death penalty, CRZA's balls and so much more than your puny little human minds can consume in one sitting. In the mix:
-- Bat wings
-- Death to the retarded gamers
-- Dakota Fanning wants some crack
-- If you never use your weiner does it really exist?
-- We drink an american classic
-- Zim admits some crap
-- More than one child to keep the majority
-- The flying spaghetti monster
-- More of Paris' mudflaps
Later bitches!!…

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Off-Beat episode 19 -- Black boxes and manila envelopes!

2005-10-01
Length: 39s

Hey foo's, Off-Beat returns! Another rowdy show for you folks. The Militia shares it's twisted love stories and Crza wants to slap a fat broad in the face! In the mix:
-Side effects of tabasco consumption
-Budweiser sponsorship
-Zim tells another story about him getting hurt, he is officially the Johnny Knoxville of this show.
-Off-Beat in love
-An O.K. beer
-The ultimate fuck you!!
-A smelly pussy
-Fat broads anger Dr.D
-For your enjoyment... Zim bloopers!

we'll catch you next week!…

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Off-Beat episode 18 -- Metal yells and old woman where they belong!

2005-09-25
Length: 41s

Wow, what a weekend. Zim drank tabasco, the Militia got retardly drunk, and Sqwirl deleted the original episode 18 because there was nothing there to be salvaged. In the mix this week:
--The suburban choir.
--So metal it hurts.
--Off with his balls.
--I hate you so much.
--Old ladys in trash cans.
--If I were a rich boy.
--Wedding tapes and hatred for your mother.
--Keep your kids outta my mall!…

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Off-Beat episode 17 -- Gaping holes and handicapped cheerleaders

2005-09-17
Length: 38s

It's episode 17 complete with ethnic slurs abound!!
-Paris' huge hole
-Bears on the beer
-Dr D. wants to slap you!
-Dreams of Ash's ass
-Dead cats in your gas tank
-Dog biscuits and abacus'
-10 year olds should jump off a roof
-Pirates, retards and shaving your upper lip…

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Off-Beat episode 16 -- Trailer parks and tongue-in the bottle.

2005-09-10
Length: 34s

In the mix this week-
Mallrats virginity at stake.
Rogue ale.
Bad cds and thinking of you.
Bush super imposed.
Some dumb skank.
Power ranger costumes and other random shit!…

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Off-Beat episode 15 -- Auctions and office pools

2005-09-04
Length: 36s

In episode 15- Crap in a box
Hurricane Cuntrina
Mallrat's virginity
Kelley's apples
Douch Baggery in full effect
Meatwad stops by
New bit, Mind of the Militia
Stabbings and strippers
Missed turns on favorites.…

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Off-Beat episode 14 -- Good sports and mediocracy

2005-08-28
Length: 36s

--In the mix for this show!
Dio, bow down mother f'ers.
The true definiton of hate.
FTR's extreme makeover.
the tie breaker.
an average beer.
Fetus' and seagulls.
and some faves of ours.

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Off-Beat episode 13 -- Depression and dick teasing

2005-08-20
Length: 44s

In this episode:
Get to know the Militia
Old Peculiar and perfect ten
drowning while fishing
Showing favorites and blowing a load that will knock over a cat
our first censored segment!
Until next week...

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Hey Trolls, we now have forums...

2005-08-16

Go there and brag about how big your cock is! …

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Off-Beat episode 12 -- Pocket pussies and Palestinians

2005-08-13
Length: 36s

This show includes:
-Produciton value, an exclusive to Off-Beat
(Thanks JVonD for the advice)
-Beer of the Week
Milwaukee's Best
-In The News
Disaster and golf
Offing your wife
Stealing from children
-Showing favorites…

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Off-Beat episode 11 -- Zombies with a side of roast beef

2005-08-06
Length: 32s

In this episode:
Chris Cavs, from The Martini Shot,
Zombie the Rock opera. In the News / Dukes released and lots of Roast beef.
Beer of the week
Showing Favorites makes it's triumphant return.
Off-Beat on myspace Until next week,
~~DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 10 -- Novus Dae and not swallowing

2005-07-31
Length: 29s

  Well, we are excited, 10! We also got an exclusive, it's an acoustic track from Novus Dae. Ryan and Ryan stopped by and recorded a brand new track called 211. It's totaly tits!

  This episode we also dish out our coveted douche bag of the month award. We aren't gonna give away the suprise.

  Sorry showing favorites took a break this week but will return next week. Sorry showing favorites fans. Thanks, tune in next week as our guest will be Chris "Cav's" from the Martini shot.

P.S. keep the comments coming, or skype us a radio spot, we'll use it.
~DeadSqwirl…

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Off-Beat episode 9 -- GTA and immigrants

2005-07-24
Length: 36s

  Even though our site is down for the moment, the show must go on. Episode 9 already, god time goes by while your having fun.
  If you have any heart, boycott Just like Heaven, they should hand out barf bags at the screenings cause your gonna need them. Anywho thanks for listening as always, and make sure to subscribe to our show through maybe Itunes, our new favorite subsciption method is Odeo, definately check them out.
  For a good time take a shot everytime Mallrat says the word mount in his flat tire story, good times.…

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Cool little podcasting site...

2005-07-20

Heya all,
  Just letting ya know about this cool site that manages podcast subscriptions you should check out. They just opened but it has some sweet features Odeo.

 Ok now I'm done, you may go back to your boring old lives!…

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Off-Beat episode 8 -- Announcements and nudes

2005-07-17
Length: 33s

Hey folks, welcome to episode 8, sorry about the sound quality in the begining half. We have everyone mic'ed now and it's new for me. I apologize.

anyway here's some show notes links:
For the record
Sam Adams the drink of FTR
Off-Beat Podcast.

Hey Thanks to our subscribers, and all of you for listening. Catch you all next week! My Odeo Channel…

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Off-Beat episode 7 -- Tennis balls and 12 year olds

2005-07-09
Length: 32s

Hey all,

  episode 7 is up in this beeatch for your consumption. Zim has returned from wrestling some crocs and sword fighting some pirates. Ok, he was just slapping the bishop, we all know what was up Zim, don't try and cover it up.

  Well, if you guys can't get enough we've opened a myspace account, Off-Beat. Join us in our crusade to put a KFC all you can eat buffet outta buisness by being our virtual frined cause you really don't want to meet us in person.

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Off-Beat episode 6 -- Bad broads and coffee

2005-07-03
Length: 26s

  Here are some links we speak of in episode 6:
Victory Records
Novus Dae
I Tunes

  Included in this show...some ranting and raving, as usual. Some issues we cover, Flag burning, new Itunes, and the Dukes of Hazzard / Moonrunners.

  Anyway people, happy fourth! Drink up, we are! Send us your favorites and some drinking stories through email or skype us! Until next week, later our two listeners!

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Off-Beat episode 5 -- Mid-evil haircuts and astronauts

2005-06-27
Length: 26s

 We have recorded yet another show, we are starting to like this! If we weren't so lazy we would probably be inclined to record everyday.

 Episode 5 includes a special guest to the FTR minions cast, we should really make some FTR Minion's baseball jerseys, now that would be cool. Unseen Problem joins the cast this episode to dish out the douche bag of the month award.

 Alright people,please, please, PLEASE, send us an email including some questions, in Wav. or MP# format that we can use on the show, or send us your favorites, we would love to hear from you. Until then, we give you episode 5!

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Off-Beat episode 4 -- Atlantic City and lesbians

2005-06-20
Length: 26s

   To Angry Pirate, thanks for all the good comments. It's great to see we've at least touched one person, your check is in the mail! Now make sure the feedback builds our egos up more this time!

   Some of you are probably wondering what happend to episode 3. We (I) originally recorded an episode of Off-Beat as a flash file which is essentially episode 1. So the whole time we have been lying to you, our 4 listeners, get over it!

   Anywho, celebrate as episode 4 is availible now for download, and it's totally free, (for you the listener, us we are paying to host this shit!)

   And in honor of our drunken weekend we are urging you, our faithfull listener, to send us in a wav, mp3, or text file of your favorite drunken story to be broadcast on our show to:
DeadSqwirl

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We now have a hotline...

2005-06-13

Hey bitches, hot off the release of episode 2, we have opened a skype hotline for you to call. Leave us your 3 things for showing favorites and you may be on our show, how fucking cool is that? There is a voicemail system set up in skype that you can use to leave your wav files. Skype is a free internet telephone service, if you don't have it, I suggest getting it, it rocks. Skype . The hotline is at TheDeadSqwirl, call us up and after 4 rings our voicemail should pick up. Thanks, The Off-Beat cast Ps, sometimes some people cant hear the voicemessage. Not sure why, but if it picks up and I do not respond, just talk away, you are being recorded!…

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Off-Beat episode 2 -- Favorites and no shows

2005-06-12
Length: 15s

That's right bitches.. We know we've pissed some geeks off with that statement. Keep telling yourself it was good. Anywho, bitches, it is here! The second episode of our little Off-Beat cast here, this one includes production value, at least a little bit. Here are some show notes: -The usual news -New segment Showing favorites -No interview cause the broad backed out! -Extreme Elvis closed down by fbi -send in your showing favorites to DeadSqwirl@gmail.com in a wav format and we will make fu.. I mean discuss your faves!…

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Off-Beat Promo

2005-05-28
Length: 55s

Well folks, Here it is, our first episode. Some may think we are not funny, (Chris Cavs and listeners over at filmosity), some may think we are gifted, (I'll kill those bastards who made us ride that little yellow bus at school), And some may see us as the set of eyes with a flashlight from outside your bathroom window, But in the end, we now know what it sounds like to have sex with a deaf girl. And you can too, download our podcast, or forever suffer the pain of not knowing, you may be better off. Subscribe to our RSS feed, and please check out our site www.fortherecord.ws…

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Off-Beat the Podcast

Slightly entertaining.

Off-Beat the Podcast


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