Home  /  Podcast Directory  /  Relationships  /  Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce


Last update: 2015-03-25

How To Move From Discouraged To Courageous

2015-03-25 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 18s

I heard it for the first time the other day.  It happened when a client was telling me about feeling discouraged. That word, “discouraged,” hit me. Dis-couraged.  To lose courage. We can be discouraged, losing our courage.  We can be encouraged, taking courage in.  And we can act courageously — act, in spite of fear. […]…

x

Share: How To Move From Discouraged To Courageous


3 Ways You Are Stuck (And How To Get Un-Stuck)

2015-03-18 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

You want to save your marriage.  But it feels like you are “stuck in the muck.”  You can’t get moving. It may feel like paralysis — nothing will move.  It may feel like frustration — pushing against something, but with no progress.  It may feel like the engine is revving, but you are stuck in […]…

x

Share: 3 Ways You Are Stuck (And How To Get Un-Stuck)


What Happened To The Dream?

2015-03-11 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 20s

Every marriage starts with such promise, such expectation. Remember that day?  You promised to stick together through good and bad days, rich and poor days, sick and healthy days. And you knew you would. Then, things began to deteriorate. But do you remember that time when you believed, “Not us.  We won’t have problems.  We […]…

x

Share: What Happened To The Dream?


Bad Marriage Advice! Don’t Say This!

2015-03-04 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 17s

There is a plethora of marriage advice out there.  Much of it promises to save your marriage.  Some of it is good.  Some is fine.  And some is dangerous. The other day, I was reading an article by someone, proclaiming 3 words that would save your marriage. That caught my attention!  And then, it caught […]…

x

Share: Bad Marriage Advice! Don’t Say This!


The 3 C’s Of Saving Your Marriage: #80 Podcast

2015-02-25 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 18s

What you do to save your marriage is important. But HOW you do it is crucial. Over the years, I have coached many people to approach their efforts to save their marriage with 3 very clear mandates. I have come to refer to these as the 3 C’s of saving your marriage. This is not […]…

x

Share: The 3 C’s Of Saving Your Marriage: #80 Podcast


An Interview with Rhoberta Shaler: Kaizen For Couples

2015-02-18 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 58s

Kaizen is the idea of slow, constant change.  It revolutionized the Japanese auto industry, and can be applied to your life.  You can look for those places of growth, opportunities for change.  They don’t have to be earth-shattering.  They can be gradual. Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Rhoberta Shaler.  Rhoberta has worked […]…

x

Share: An Interview with Rhoberta Shaler: Kaizen For Couples


Why You Need A PLAN To Save Your Marriage

2015-02-11 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 16s

Do you have a plan to save your marriage? Not an idea, floating around in your head. But a plan. Written down. I have been asking this question for years, especially when someone tells me their marriage isn’t turning around. 90% tell me they DON’T have a plan.  I tell them, “that is the starting […]…

x

Share: Why You Need A PLAN To Save Your Marriage


3 Reasons Why Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

2015-02-04 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 23s

Your spouse told you your marriage was in trouble. You responded. You did your research, perhaps found some information, and decided to save your marriage. Now, you are beginning to wonder, “Is this marriage ever going to improve?  Will it turn around?  Can I save my marriage?” Sometimes, people put forth some effort and see […]…

x

Share: 3 Reasons Why Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around


4 Foundations Of A Forever Marriage

2015-01-28 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 17s

I’ve asked the question many times:  “What is the foundation of a strong marriage?” I usually get the same response:  “love.” In your mind, please now hear the “Buzzzz” sound, indicating that answer is wrong! Please understand:  I am not opposed to love.  I deeply love my wife.  I do not believe that a loveless […]…

x

Share: 4 Foundations Of A Forever Marriage


What’s Your Why?

2015-01-21 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 17s

I hear the same question over and over, “How do I save my marriage?” It’s a great question.  But there is something else you need to ask first:  “What’s my why?” In other words, WHY are you wanting to save your marriage?  This is the starting point. That single question is fundamental to your process, […]…

x

Share: What’s Your Why?


4 Steps to Civility In Your Marriage

2015-01-14 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 16s

Many times, I found myself just playing referee in my office.  The sparring match began when the couple sat down, and didn’t stop until they left. It seemed that all I could do was ring the bell and end a round.  “Be civil,” I would tell them. Then, the gloves would come off and they […]…

x

Share: 4 Steps to Civility In Your Marriage


End Your Controlling Behavior (before it ends your marriage)

2015-01-07 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

Yet another email:  “My spouse is leaving me because my spouse is tired of my controlling behavior.  I didn’t know I was!  Help!” Sometimes, the email tells me one thing different:  the person knew he/she was controlling — but thought it was OK. It isn’t. Controlling behavior is yet another dynamic that erodes the connection […]…

x

Share: End Your Controlling Behavior (before it ends your marriage)


“I’ve Changed” And 3 Other Things NOT To Say

2014-12-31 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 15s

It can be frustrating.  You are trying hard to change yourself.  You are learning about yourself and relationships.  You are growing and know you are NOT like you were. But your spouse doesn’t seem to notice.  In fact, your spouse keeps on reacting to the OLD you, even while the NEW you is doing something […]…

x

Share: “I’ve Changed” And 3 Other Things NOT To Say


The Ghosts of Relationship Past: #71 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-12-23 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 14s

The past can hold you hostage.  The “ghosts” of the past can hold your marriage hostage. Sit back and let me share a story with you.  It’s Christmas Eve.  Chris and Holly are trying to sleep. They can’t.  Their disconnection has never felt worse.  Isn’t it that time of year for love and family?  Songs […]…

x

Share: The Ghosts of Relationship Past: #71 Save Your Marriage Podcast


2 Necessary Feelings and 3 Ways You Hurt Them: #70 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-12-17 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 20s

Feelings.  We all have them. Sometimes, we have the wrong feelings.  And we try to get away from those feelings. In a relationship in trouble, you can guarantee that someone is not feeling the way that he or she wants to feel.  So, that person tries to get away from what is making them feel […]…

x

Share: 2 Necessary Feelings and 3 Ways You Hurt Them: #70 Save Your Marriage Podcast


“Give It To Me Straight, Doc. Can This Be Saved?” #69 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-12-10 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

“Can my marriage be saved?”  That question is echoed in email after email, voicemail after voicemail, and conversation after conversation. “Just give it to me straight,” Jerry told me.  He was more direct than others.  “I know you are supposed to say, ‘Of course it can,’ but do I have a chance?” To be clear, […]…

x

Share: “Give It To Me Straight, Doc. Can This Be Saved?” #69 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Love Languages and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Gary Chapman

2014-12-03 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 52s

Maybe languages just aren’t my thing. In high school, I took French.  I switched to Spanish in college.  But my grades weren’t where I thought they should be (foolish me!).  So, I tried out Latin.  THAT was a massive failure!  And since I needed to make it to a literature class before graduating, I went […]…

x

Share: Love Languages and Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Gary Chapman


How Gratitude Can Transform Your Marriage (Thanksgiving Message)

2014-11-26 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 22s

Thanksgiving Day, in the United States, is upon us.  The day we turn our attention to “thanks” and “gratitude.” What does that have to do with your marriage? LOTS. Gratitude can transform your marriage. I discovered this a few years back, when I gave a couple an exercise that transformed their view of each other. […]…

x

Share: How Gratitude Can Transform Your Marriage (Thanksgiving Message)


3 Ways To Stay In The Game When You Want To Quit: #66

2014-11-19 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 19s

We all hit that point where we just want to give up.  Remember that poster with the cat at the end of the rope?  We get it.  We’ve all been there. While working on your relationship, you may have already hit it.  Or you may feel close. This is normal.  Working on a relationship can […]…

x

Share: 3 Ways To Stay In The Game When You Want To Quit: #66


The Science of Saving Your Marriage: #65 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-11-13 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 19s

Sometimes, it all just seems like opinion.  Lots of people with lots of opinion on what you should do to save your marriage. But what DOES science tell us about saving your relationship? It turns out, LOTS. Today, I want to cover one small piece of the puzzle.  This is one piece of research you […]…

x

Share: The Science of Saving Your Marriage: #65 Save Your Marriage Podcast


4 Steps To Not Ruining Today With Yesterday: #64 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-11-05 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 21s

I have heard too many spouses say, “I would love it if we could save our marriage.  But you have NO IDEA about what has happened!  There is no way for us to move forward!” Or how about this one?: “Do you have any idea what he/she did?  How can I ever forgive/trust/move on/reconnect/love again?” […]…

x

Share: 4 Steps To Not Ruining Today With Yesterday: #64 Save Your Marriage Podcast


“I Love You, But I’m Not In Love.” What It Means, What To Do: #63

2014-10-29 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 17s

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”  That single statement starts more marriage crises than any other sentence. To be clear, the issues were already there. It’s just that many times, one spouse does not know how disconnected the other spouse is feeling. But when that one statement drops, everything changes.  The […]…

x

Share: “I Love You, But I’m Not In Love.” What It Means, What To Do: #63


Stop Trying To Convince Your Spouse To Stay!

2014-10-22 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 13s

You line up your argument:  hit ‘em with facts about how divorce affects the kids, show ‘em how divorce will devastate retirement for both of you, show ‘em research that proves divorces do not lead to more happiness or satisfaction, etc., etc., etc. Now, you just know you can convince your spouse to stay! Have […]…

x

Share: Stop Trying To Convince Your Spouse To Stay!


Are You “ALL IN?” Taking The Leap: #61 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-10-15 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 21s

Yep.  I did it.  I jumped right out of a perfectly good plane!  The attorney said he had no idea WHY someone would do that! A little explanation:  for years, my son said he wanted to skydive when he turned 18. That was years ago. Last week, he turned 18 (what happened to those years??). […]…

x

Share: Are You “ALL IN?” Taking The Leap: #61 Save Your Marriage Podcast


5 Myths of Connection: #60 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-10-08 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 17s

“What happened?,” Julie asked me.  “We were so in love!  We got married, and everything was perfect.  I just thought it would be easy from there!” Then, Julie began to tell me a story about growing careers, a big social life, passionate pursuit of hobbies, and then children.  Three.  All within 5 years. One day, […]…

x

Share: 5 Myths of Connection: #60 Save Your Marriage Podcast


7 Stages of Disconnection — Where Are You?: #59

2014-10-01 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 18s

Is your marriage feeling disconnected? Connection is the nourishment of every marriage.  If you break the connection, you starve the relationship. So why are so many marriages connection-starved? Most people don’t realize how important the connection is.  So, life gets in the way:  careers, friends, hobbies, interests, children.  Over time, the distractions build up. Until […]…

x

Share: 7 Stages of Disconnection — Where Are You?: #59


Is It Emotional Infidelity?: #58 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-09-24 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 30s

When is it emotional infidelity?  What are the signs of emotional affairs? These are common questions I hear when I speak with people. Why is it so hard to define this? One simple reason:  it is a gray area of connection.  A physical affair is much more clearly defined.  A physical boundary has been violated.  […]…

x

Share: Is It Emotional Infidelity?: #58 Save Your Marriage Podcast


The “Rocket Fuel” of Infidelity: #57 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-09-17 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

When “Janie” came to see me, she was lost.  She could not understand HOW her husband could be so wrapped up in his affair.  “Doug” was discovered at a lunchtime rendezvous with his mistress of 6 months.  A friend saw them sneaking into a motel room, and quickly called Janie. Doug was ashamed, swore he […]…

x

Share: The “Rocket Fuel” of Infidelity: #57 Save Your Marriage Podcast


What’s YOUR Model of Marriage?: #56 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-09-10 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 21s

Mental models.  We all have them.  It can help us make sense of the world. . . and keep us stuck.  Every mental model is really a shortcut in understanding reality. A mental model is simply a way we understand something.  Politics are a mental model.  Each political view has a certain viewpoint on many […]…

x

Share: What’s YOUR Model of Marriage?: #56 Save Your Marriage Podcast


When Personalities Clash: #55 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-09-03 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

Sometimes, we think we are just who we are, unique and special.  We like to believe we are just, well, “normal.” I remember when I first took a personality test years ago.  It was the Myers Briggs Personality Indicator (MBTI).  I answered a bunch of questions and received a four-letter designation (not to be confused […]…

x

Share: When Personalities Clash: #55 Save Your Marriage Podcast


3 Things YOU Can Do RIGHT NOW To Save Your Marriage: #54

2014-08-27 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

The email started the same way as many others.  “Bob” was impatient.  He wanted results. . . and he wanted them now! His opening line said it all:  “Tell me what I can do right now!  Don’t tell me about some plan for the next 3 months.  I want to know what I can do […]…

x

Share: 3 Things YOU Can Do RIGHT NOW To Save Your Marriage: #54


Are You An ‘Askhole’ With Your Spouse?: #53 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-08-20 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 25s

Quick question:  are you an A-hole with your spouse?  Oops, I meant “AskHole.” Are you familiar with the term?  It describes someone that asks a question, but is a jerk with the answer that is given. Just observationally, I see couples do this in 6 ways.  One or the other asks a question, gets an […]…

x

Share: Are You An ‘Askhole’ With Your Spouse?: #53 Save Your Marriage Podcast


5 Communication Mistakes You May Be Making: #52 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-08-13 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

Is communication an issue in your marriage?  Do you have communication problems, but are not sure how to solve them — or even what they are? Many people believe that there marriage problems are communication problems.  I disagree.  I believe they are actually perception problems. But that doesn’t mean there are no communication problems.  In […]…

x

Share: 5 Communication Mistakes You May Be Making: #52 Save Your Marriage Podcast


What Plane Crashes, Scuba Accidents, Rampant Dinosaurs, and Medical Mistakes Have To Do With Your Marriage Crisis: #51 Save The Marriage Podcast

2014-08-06 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

So what DO airplane and scuba accidents have to do with marriage problems?  What CAN rampaging dinosaurs and medical accidents teach us about your marriage problems? As it turns out, A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT! For years, I have had a strange fascination with reading Scuba accident reports.  And for about that same amount […]…

x

Share: What Plane Crashes, Scuba Accidents, Rampant Dinosaurs, and Medical Mistakes Have To Do With Your Marriage Crisis: #51 Save The Marriage Podcast


Time To Really Show Up In Your Marriage!: #50 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-07-30 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

We all do it.  We play it small.  We try to “slide by,” avoid the conflict, and hope something will change. If you find yourself doing that, time to stop!  Life happens, problems end, and relationships improve, only when we finally commit to showing up. Being present can radically change your relationship.  Really being there, […]…

x

Share: Time To Really Show Up In Your Marriage!: #50 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Are You Courageously Compassionate? Doing What Needs To Be Done: #49 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-07-23 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

When we feel close to someone, compassion is easy.  It comes naturally. But when we are hurt or angry, when we feel disconnection from someone, compassion is harder. That is when you have to be “courageously compassionate.” Sometimes, we let our feelings “call the shots.”  We get stuck.  We give up.  Or we become so […]…

x

Share: Are You Courageously Compassionate? Doing What Needs To Be Done: #49 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Do You Suffer From PPM Syndrome? How It Can Destroy Your Marriage!: #48 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-07-16 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 37s

Do you have it?  Do you or a loved one suffer from PPM Syndrome?  This syndrome infects many people — and they don’t know they have it.  When they hear the symptoms, many people continue to believe they do not have it. Oh, sure, somebody they know has it, they tell themselves, but “not me.”  […]…

x

Share: Do You Suffer From PPM Syndrome? How It Can Destroy Your Marriage!: #48 Save Your Marriage Podcast


7 Strategies When You Hear “This Will Never Work and I Don’t Love You”: #47 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-07-09 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

A kick in the gut.  Your spouse tells you “I don’t love you.”  Or as you are trying to save your relationship, your spouse says, “This will never work.”  It can take you to your knees. You might want to give up.  You might believe your spouse is telling you the truth. In actuality,  your […]…

x

Share: 7 Strategies When You Hear “This Will Never Work and I Don’t Love You”: #47 Save Your Marriage Podcast


5 Steps To A Midlife Marriage Mess; 5 Steps Through A Midlife Marriage Mess: #46 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-07-02 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 34s

Midlife crisis.  It is the brunt of many jokes.  Some people say there is no such thing.  Evidently, they have never had a spouse go through a midlife crisis. Some people scoff at people who buy a new sports car, change their diet/exercise/activities/friends, look for another love interest, change careers, or any other “symptom” of […]…

x

Share: 5 Steps To A Midlife Marriage Mess; 5 Steps Through A Midlife Marriage Mess: #46 Save Your Marriage Podcast


7 Steps To A Marriage Saving Mindset: #45 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-06-18 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

If you have decided to save your marriage, you have REACHED toward something many people don’t. Saving your marriage can be a difficult process.  It will challenge you emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  And in the process, you can choose whether to fall victim to the process or be transformed by the process. In this […]…

x

Share: 7 Steps To A Marriage Saving Mindset: #45 Save Your Marriage Podcast


3 Things You MUST Do After An Argument: #44 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-06-11 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 36s

Arguments.  We all have them.  Few of us believe they are useful.  Most people find them hurtful and destructive. Yet we still argue. After a lifetime of arguments, do we really believe that this argument or the next one is going to work better? And yet we still argue. A number of years ago, I […]…

x

Share: 3 Things You MUST Do After An Argument: #44 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Why Do Good People Have Bad Marriages?: #43 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-06-04 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 32s

In my years as a therapist, I met the nicest people. . . many suffering in painful relationships. Sometimes, it can seem so confusing.  Why can two nice people struggle so much to have a good marriage?  How do two people that seemed so loving when they married, end up feeling frustrated and ready to […]…

x

Share: Why Do Good People Have Bad Marriages?: #43 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Is Your Marriage Chronically Stuck and Acutely Painful?: #42 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-05-28 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 1m 1s

Is your marriage in a chronic state of stuck?  Does your relationship suffer from acute periods of pain?  Often, those moments of acute pain lead to a chronic state of “stuck.”  But that chronic state of “stuck” also creates the potential for more moments of acute pain. Feeling stuck can lead to reactions of pain […]…

x

Share: Is Your Marriage Chronically Stuck and Acutely Painful?: #42 Save Your Marriage Podcast


The Trick to Saving Your Marriage. Careful. . . .: #41 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-05-21 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 30s

Are you working to save your marriage?  Are you trying to figure out the trick to doing that? Be careful. Yesterday, I sent an email out to a group, asking what their “burning question” was about how to save a marriage. Within minutes, the emails started coming in.  By the end of the night, hundreds […]…

x

Share: The Trick to Saving Your Marriage. Careful. . . .: #41 Save Your Marriage Podcast


How To Never Be Unhappy In Your Relationship Again: #40 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-05-14 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 59s

Is it possible to never be unhappy in a relationship?  Is there a shift you can make that changes the whole equation? You may come to this site, unhappy in your relationship and frustrated with life.  What if there is one shift that changes the equation?  And what if that one shift is something entirely […]…

x

Share: How To Never Be Unhappy In Your Relationship Again: #40 Save Your Marriage Podcast


4 Practical Steps for Calm in the Storm: #39 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-05-07 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

Does it feel like a storm is swirling around you, pushing you back and forth?  That is a typical, but not particularly helpful, in a marriage crisis. In fact, when our brain is in crisis mode, it hijacks our body and our mind.  You become less effective in your efforts to save your marriage. The […]…

x

Share: 4 Practical Steps for Calm in the Storm: #39 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast


How Values Can Save (Or Destroy) Your Marriage: #38 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-04-30 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 1m 0s

What happens when you and your spouse just don’t see eye-to-eye?  How do you get past it? Perhaps the real issue is about values.  Do you and your spouse share the same values?  Or more precisely, do you and your spouse even talk about your values? Many times, it is not a matter of values […]…

x

Share: How Values Can Save (Or Destroy) Your Marriage: #38 Save Your Marriage Podcast


The Power of The 4 P’s: #37 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-04-23 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

You may be familiar with my 3 C’s of working on your marriage.  Today, we make a shift and look at the 4 P’s of maintaining your mindset and approach. How do you save your marriage when you keep getting pulled off balance by the actions (or inactions) of your spouse?  You stick with the […]…

x

Share: The Power of The 4 P’s: #37 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast


Are You Playing Mind Games. . . With Yourself?: #36 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-04-16 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 40s

Mind games.  We all play them.  But what if you are playing the BIGGEST mind game with yourself? I have news for you:  you are!  I know, because I often do the same thing.  In fact, not recognizing this important fact almost cost me my life! There is a simple solution that can give you […]…

x

Share: Are You Playing Mind Games. . . With Yourself?: #36 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Still Feeling Stuck? Get Unstuck!: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-04-09 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 33s

Stuck.  Not a fun place to be.  But the reality is that “stuck” is really a feeling and not a reality.  You are only as stuck as you believe you are. Does that mean you can get anything you want?  No.  But that does not mean you are stuck.  There is a crucial shift you […]…

x

Share: Still Feeling Stuck? Get Unstuck!: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast


7 Steps To Dealing With Marital Expectations Gone Bad: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-04-02 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 39s

Expectations.  We all have them.  Some, we agree upon.  Some, we don’t even know we have (or that our spouse has them).  But they can play havoc on a relationship. If you find yourself frustrated with your spouse over what he or she is not doing — or if your spouse is frustrated with YOU […]…

x

Share: 7 Steps To Dealing With Marital Expectations Gone Bad: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Boundaries For You And Your Relationship: #33 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-03-26 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 40s

Do you know your boundaries?  Do you know the boundaries of your relationship? Boundaries mark how you expect others to treat you.  It is a way of keeping yourself safe — and relationship boundaries keep your relationship safe. I think about them like a fence.  If you build a fence in your backyard, you are […]…

x

Share: Boundaries For You And Your Relationship: #33 Save Your Marriage Podcast


What You May Not Know About Love, Respect, and Civility: #32 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-03-19 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

I can’t tell you how many times I have had someone tell me, “I am no longer in love with my spouse.”  And while they are in my office, I get it.  They call each other names, insult each other, blame, are unloving, and disrespectful. And in the midst of all that, there is a […]…

x

Share: What You May Not Know About Love, Respect, and Civility: #32 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Is It Too Late To Save Your Marriage? How To Know: #31 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-03-12 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 33s

How do you know whether to keep trying or to give up?  Why are some marriages impossible to save, while others just require more effort?  Are there factors that make a marriage harder to save than others?  Is there a time to stop trying? I hear these questions every week, as people try to decide […]…

x

Share: Is It Too Late To Save Your Marriage? How To Know: #31 Save Your Marriage Podcast


4 Mindset Shifts To Save Your Marriage: #30 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-03-05 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 30s

Your “mindset” is how you think about your world.  For the most part, a mindset is hidden from you. . . which is why it is a problem.  If you believe that you can or can’t do something, part of the issue is your mindset — especially if you think you can’t. Do you find […]…

x

Share: 4 Mindset Shifts To Save Your Marriage: #30 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Do You Give Your Spouse YOUR Stamp Of Approval?: #29 Save Your Marriage Podcast

2014-02-26 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 29s

People are quirky.  We all have strange and interesting habits and interests.  No two people are alike. Yet all of us crave one thing:  validation and approval.  We did it in high school (“I am SO different, along with everyone else”) and we do it through adulthood. In fact, one of the aphrodisiacs of a […]…

x

Share: Do You Give Your Spouse YOUR Stamp Of Approval?: #29 Save Your Marriage Podcast


Why Your Balance Book Marriage Will Fail: #28 Save The Marriage Podcast

2014-02-19 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

You can say it many ways:  “keeping score,” “tit-for-tat,” “keeping a ledger,” “looking for the balance book.”  If you run your marriage that way, you are headed for trouble. Problem is, it is perfectly human to make this mistake.  And in the midst of a marriage crisis, more likely. Are you asking, “why am I […]…

x

Share: Why Your Balance Book Marriage Will Fail: #28 Save The Marriage Podcast


What About Trust?: Restoring And Rebuilding — #27

2014-02-05 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 33s

It seems that every single day, and sometimes several times a day, I get an email asking a question about trust:  “How do I rebuild trust after doing something wrong?” and “How do I trust this person after what he/she did?” Trust, it seems, is a bit more complicated than first glance would indicate. I […]…

x

Share: What About Trust?: Restoring And Rebuilding — #27


5 Rules For Apologizing: #26 Save The Marriage Podcast

2014-01-29 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

Apologies.  We all do it — but do we do it right? I remember being held by the scruff of my neck, forced to apologize to my brother.  I was neither apologetic nor conciliatory.  I was, however, captive.  So I apologized. It was a good idea.  It is just that my heart wasn’t in it. […]…

x

Share: 5 Rules For Apologizing: #26 Save The Marriage Podcast


Frustrated and Ready To Give Up? Don’t!: #25, Save The Marriage Podcast

2014-01-22 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

Just the other day, “Sue” wrote me to tell me she was ready to quit.  She told me that her husband had been involved in an emotional affair, and she discovered the emails.  When confronted, her husband told Sue that he did not love Sue and had been unhappy for years. Sue decided to take […]…

x

Share: Frustrated and Ready To Give Up? Don’t!: #25, Save The Marriage Podcast


Stop Trying To Convince!: Episode 24, Save The Marriage Podcast

2014-01-15 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

Do you find yourself trying to convince your spouse to work on the relationship? Do you try logic and rational facts to “help” your spouse see your point? Do you find yourself begging and pleading, trying to get your spouse to change his or her mind? Do you notice that these strategies fail?  Do you […]…

x

Share: Stop Trying To Convince!: Episode 24, Save The Marriage Podcast


“Why Should I Forgive?” — Podcast #23, Save The Marriage

2014-01-08 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 33s

In last week’s article on New Year resolutions to save your marriage, I started with “forgive more.”  That struck a nerve.  Some people loved it. . . but many sent me letters asking, “why should I have to forgive?”  Ironically, my point was that forgiving frees the forgiver. After the first couple of emails, I […]…

x

Share: “Why Should I Forgive?” — Podcast #23, Save The Marriage


Mastering the Holidays When Your Relationship Hurts: Save The Marriage Podcast #22

2013-12-23 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

The Holidays are stressful.  Even under the best of times, we can find ourselves stressed and down.  But when a relationship is in trouble, the pressure can feel overwhelming. But it doesn’t have to be.  Don’t lose the Holidays.  Take back the meaning of the holidays and discover your reserve of strength. Regardless of what […]…

x

Share: Mastering the Holidays When Your Relationship Hurts: Save The Marriage Podcast #22


Is There An Equation That Changes The Outcome?

2013-12-18 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 31s

E + R = O That is the equation — the equation that can help you transform your marriage. Can it save your marriage?  Perhaps.  But that equation will certainly change YOU and the outcome. On this week’s podcast, we explore how this equation can change your marriage and transform your life. Find out why […]…

x

Share: Is There An Equation That Changes The Outcome?


Is Fear Destroying Your Chances At Saving Your Marriage?: Save The Marriage Podcast, Ep. 20

2013-12-11 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 33s

Fear.  It is a primal emotion. You can’t turn it off, and sometimes, it seems like you can’t even turn it down! But letting your fear take control, that is a different matter.  While you can’t stop fear, you can keep fear from ruining your chances of saving your marriage.  You can learn how to […]…

x

Share: Is Fear Destroying Your Chances At Saving Your Marriage?: Save The Marriage Podcast, Ep. 20


So, You Had An Affair: How To Recover — A Save The Marriage Podcast Special Edition

2013-12-06 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 40s

Last week, I presented a special edition podcast on how to deal with an affair.  It was mostly aimed for the person that suffered infidelity.  But I had a number of people ask, “what if you are the one that committed the affair?”  So, here is a podcast aimed at answering that.  What do you […]…

x

Share: So, You Had An Affair: How To Recover — A Save The Marriage Podcast Special Edition


Why Is Sex Such An Issue In Marriage?: Ep. 19, Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-12-04 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 28s

When people give their reasons for problems that lead to divorce, they list money, children, in-laws, religion and sex as the top 5.  Money is the only reason listed consistently above sex. Why is sex such a huge issue for couples?  Is it really about sex, or is it something else? We are surrounded by […]…

x

Share: Why Is Sex Such An Issue In Marriage?: Ep. 19, Save The Marriage Podcast


Dealing with Emotional and Physical Affairs: A Special Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-11-29 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 29s

Is your marriage threatened by an emotional or physical affair? Do you find yourself scared and unsure on how to deal with your spouse’s extramarital relationship? Are you wondering if you can recover from infidelity in your relationship? In this special audio podcast, I cover your plan for addressing the extra-marital relationship, whether it is […]…

x

Share: Dealing with Emotional and Physical Affairs: A Special Save The Marriage Podcast


Giving Thanks Can Transform Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast #18

2013-11-26 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 22s

They were bitter, angry, and pointing the finger at each other.  Whenever I tried to get them to make a shift, they quickly reverted to blame. I had to find a way to make a shift. And then it occurred to me — one little exercise that transformed their marriage.  Here is the interesting thing:  […]…

x

Share: Giving Thanks Can Transform Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast #18


Who’s The Enemy Of Saving Your Marriage? Save The Marriage Podcast #17

2013-11-20 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

Let me ask you one simple question:  who is the enemy of saving your marriage?  Is it your spouse?  Is it someone else?  Is it something else? The answer is crucial.  Answer it wrong, and you will find yourself constantly struggling to move forward.  More than that, you will only increase the resistance from your […]…

x

Share: Who’s The Enemy Of Saving Your Marriage? Save The Marriage Podcast #17


Can Your Marriage Be Saved?: Two Measurements And What To Do: Save The Marriage Podcast 16

2013-11-13 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 31s

Can your marriage be saved?  Let’s look at a couple of measurements that will help you determine how difficult it may be. Do you know about boundaries and standards?  Many people confuse the two, and if you do, you can cause problems in your relationship. Let’s talk about boundaries and how to set them.  And […]…

x

Share: Can Your Marriage Be Saved?: Two Measurements And What To Do: Save The Marriage Podcast 16


How You Hide and How To Show Up In Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-11-06 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 25s

Fear, resentment, habit.  All reasons why we hide.  And we hide more the more important the relationship.  The intimacy may scare us, the scars may hide us. But if we want to heal a relationship, especially a marriage, we HAVE to show up! In this week’s podcast, I examine the reasons we hide, and how […]…

x

Share: How You Hide and How To Show Up In Your Marriage: Save The Marriage Podcast


How To Save Your Marriage From The Zombie Infection!: Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-10-30 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

Is your marriage infected by the “zombie virus?”  Do you find your relationship to be the “walking dead?”  Are emotions lost and connections missing?  Do you and your spouse respond to each other with “zombie grunts?” The infection can be stopped.  You can fight the infection and heal the relationship. Don’t allow the big 4 […]…

x

Share: How To Save Your Marriage From The Zombie Infection!: Save The Marriage Podcast


How Your Thoughts Betray You: Save The Marriage Podcast Episode 13

2013-10-24 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

Have you ever noticed that your mind runs pretty much non-stop?  Try NOT to think, and see how long you can do that. The problem isn’t that you keep thinking.  The problem is how often you forget that you are thinking.  You confuse your thoughts with reality.  And that’s when the trouble begins. . . […]…

x

Share: How Your Thoughts Betray You: Save The Marriage Podcast Episode 13


How Fear Is Destroying Your Efforts and 4 Ways To Reverse It: Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-10-17 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 26s

Fear.  It is the enemy of your efforts to save your marriage.  We all have fear.  But how much does fear get in the way? In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, we explore how your fear of abandonment can destroy and undermine your efforts. But more importantly, we explore some ways to […]…

x

Share: How Fear Is Destroying Your Efforts and 4 Ways To Reverse It: Save The Marriage Podcast


Courageous Compassion And Doing What Needs To Be Done: Save The Marriage Podcast 11

2013-10-10 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 23s

What happens when your feelings get you?  Do you give up or get busy? We cover it in today’s podcast. What happens when you see your spouse through a negative lens?  Why does this happen? We cover it in today’s podcast. Ready to be courageous, even courageously compassionate as you work to save your marriage? […]…

x

Share: Courageous Compassion And Doing What Needs To Be Done: Save The Marriage Podcast 11


Top 5 Things Your Marriage Therapist Will Not Tell You [Save The Marriage Podcast]

2013-10-03 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

In this podcast, I tackle the top 5 things a marriage therapist will not tell you.  If you are in therapy, considering therapy, or have tried therapy, please listen! Here are the Top 5 Things Your Marriage Therapist Will Not Tell You: 5)  Marriage therapy is not effective (let me tell you why). 4)  Your […]…

x

Share: Top 5 Things Your Marriage Therapist Will Not Tell You [Save The Marriage Podcast]


Can’t versus Won’t & Your Thoughts: Save The Marriage Podcast #9

2013-09-26 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

Wow!  Last week’s podcast caused a stir.  Lots of comments and emails, so I decided I needed to follow up.  Today, we look more in-depth at “can’ts” and then talk about why you and your spouse see things differently. What do you think?  Leave your comments below.…

x

Share: Can’t versus Won’t & Your Thoughts: Save The Marriage Podcast #9


You Can’t. . . And You Won’t Like My Answer: Save The Marriage Podcast Episode 08

2013-09-19 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

If you think you can’t do it:  save your marriage, connect with your spouse, change yourself, etc., then you will want to listen in to the podcast.  And you may not like what I have to say. Like it?  Let me know in the comments below. Don’t like it?  Let me know in the comments […]…

x

Share: You Can’t. . . And You Won’t Like My Answer: Save The Marriage Podcast Episode 08


The Truth About Attraction: The Chemistry of Love – STMPodcast #7

2013-09-11 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 29s

Do you know the truth about attraction — why some relationships feel charged with attraction and others don’t? Do you know the primary shift that happens in a marriage? Do you know how to use that shift to your advantage, instead of your detriment. Join me as I interview Bob Grant, an expert in this […]…

x

Share: The Truth About Attraction: The Chemistry of Love – STMPodcast #7


Your Most Important Tool In Saving Your Marriage: Podcast Episode 06

2013-09-05 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 36s

What is the most important tool when you are trying to save your marriage?  The answer may surprise you. Are you taking care of this valuable tool?  Are you making sure this tool is as effective and helpful as possible?  Probably not. In this audio episode, we examine what this tool is, why it is […]…

x

Share: Your Most Important Tool In Saving Your Marriage: Podcast Episode 06


Getting Unstuck: Podcast SaveTheMarriage Episode 5

2013-08-29 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 34s

Are you stuck?  Do you feel like you cannot move forward, and that there should be something more?  Perhaps you are realizing that something is holding you back. In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, we turn our attention to getting unstuck: Why we get stuck. How to avoid blame and take responsibility. […]…

x

Share: Getting Unstuck: Podcast SaveTheMarriage Episode 5


How To Heal Disconnection PODCAST: Save The Marriage Episode 4

2013-08-22 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 27s

The latest Save The Marriage Podcast is here and available! In this episode, we discuss emotional disconnection and how to heal it. I provide 4 foundational steps in how to heal the disconnection and rebuild the connection, along with concrete steps on exactly what to do. Let me know what you think in the comments […]…

x

Share: How To Heal Disconnection PODCAST: Save The Marriage Episode 4


Save The Marriage Podcast #3: Should Every Marriage Be Saved?

2013-08-16 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 22s

Now that I am back from vacation, it is time to get busy! Unfortunately, while paddling my paddleboard in a rather rough ocean, when I should have just fallen to the side, I tried to stay on.  The board had other plans, and I landed on my side, injuring my ribs, so I am a […]…

x

Share: Save The Marriage Podcast #3: Should Every Marriage Be Saved?


PODCAST: How NOT To Save Your Marriage!

2013-08-07 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 22s

The Save The Marriage Podcast is ready for you! This is CRUCIAL information, as these are common ways I see people approach their marriage crisis, AND it only causes more trouble. You can listen below to this week’s podcast.  In it, I discuss my Top 10 Ways To NOT Save Your Marriage.  Perhaps you can […]…

x

Share: PODCAST: How NOT To Save Your Marriage!


NEW! Save The Marriage Podcast

2013-07-29 :: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Length: 24s

In an effort to deliver information you want in the format you desire, we have just started the Save The Marriage Podcast. Episode 1 is here.  In this episode, I discuss the secret to a successful marriage, along with the 3 simple steps to saving your marriage. To subscribe through iTunes, CLICK HERE.…

x

Share: NEW! Save The Marriage Podcast


Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce

Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship. Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship. Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.

Save The Marriage Podcast | How To Save Your Marriage | How To Stop Your Divorce


Switch to our mobile site