Episode: Splish Splash Sploosh 201
This is a very unique setting for our show, almost naked, wet and laughing....Tom tells a horrible manstitute story.…
Holy Crap, I cannot believe we hit 200! This is a fun one, We record our show while helping Tom move stuff. And there is a small Shane treat at the end. We talk about all the favourites, poop, bums, blowup dolls, books....., peeing in cups, you know? the usual. Enjoy friends and thanks for sticking around for way too much of us.…
EPISODE: Shane and Tom 199
We're Back!, Baptist Invasion, Coming up on 7 years, Gay Prostitute, etc., Testosterone Update: Beaucoup de hair…
198 Audio Add-On Shane After Meeting Jonsi
Shane losing his mind after meet Jonsi from Sigur Ros on his front lawn.…
EPISODE: Jonsi Bjork Fjord 198
Topics Include: I think we just talked about Shane....Tom may have said something. Oh, and sorry about the A/C fan sound.…
Listen! There may be something funny to hear.…
Our new Facebook page
Hello friends, it's taken us 5 years to get a facebook page but by golly to the power of the purns we have one now. Please like us and you can now listen to all the episodes from the "Listen Here" link. https://www.facebook.com/shaneandtomssqueezebox…
EPISODE:Back To Front 196
Topics Include: Acronyming Everything,Sandwich Board Pants, A Dumb Internet Game, Shane's Shrinking Balls, How We Wipe. WORDPLAY.…
EPISODE: No No Name 195
I'm totally not putting the topics here... let's just say bunnys are involved.…
EPISODE: PAB Excitement Wires 194
Topics Include: Webers Inn, Who are we talking to? Guy framing the world, Going to PAB! Dad's dead.…
EPISODE: Thrush Dermit Helmet 193
192-Photos and Audio
Hey, here are a couple of the photos we mentioned in the show and the audio of the shitty neighbours downstairs.…
EPISODE: Christmas Time Bitches 2011
Hey friends, Tom and I thought we'd give you the best gift ever and record a show this year! Mabye we'll do one next year, lole. Be warned that we think you are awesome and thought you'd like an hour plus show, voila, in all its lengthly goodness.…
EPISODE: Baby Shell Yarn
Topics: Once you go old..., Canoe-Marry Me, Podcastinoma, Hindlicker-Smegma, Animated Series WORDPLAY: Christmas and Poo, NEW TOPICS. Muppets and Porn.…
Holy crap, another show back to back.....ew.…
I know, I know, this took a sweet ass long time to post, the best part is there is another one coming right behind it. I'm not putting the topics because I just want to get them up (lole) "get them up" Enjoy friends, -shane and tom…
EPISODE:What What What 188
No Topics, I'm lazy. And No stupid accordian this time. Photo courtesy of The Scarborough Dude, I think that's Tom and I?…
EPISODE: Moth Peanut Incisor 187
Topics Include: 1000 degrees, New Website, Shane's lame neighbours, The Devil Crack, Horrble Poo story from Tom, Shane shares way too much information about his hog. WORDPLAY: Sex and Space, NEW WORDPLAY: Men and Woman.…
EPISODE: Japandal Jackhammer BatCalves 186
Topics Include: Fixy Bikes, Mike Smadu, Bat Calves, BMH, Chain Falls Off, Cat Tail Toilet Paper, Bad Bathroom Stories, Voint of Piew, Japandal, UFO, WORDPLAY: Shane and Smoking NEW TOPIC: Sex and Space…
EPISODE: Smoking Bumble Clapper
Topics Include: Shane Smoking, Searching Balls, Bumbling Things, The Cookie Crumbles, Clapper, SMART STUF: Flower looks like a Flower, I Need Help, Pirates and Tom Sawyer, Crack House WORDPLAY: Girls and Cars. NEW TOPIC: Shane and Smoking…
Episode 184: We Are Back!
Topics Include: Genderifying Cars, A visit from Scarborough Dude, Shane's New Tattoo, Back on Track, Sun Burn, If Tom had feet, he'd put one in his mouth NEW WORDPLAY: Girls/Eyes and Cars…
New Spotvin Website!
Hey friends, Shane here. I know this is shameless self promotion but I'm pretty excited about my new website for my design business and new online shop. I want to share it with you like fleas. Hope you enjoy. Tom and I are going to record a new show tomorrow.…
EPISODE: Name Name Name 183
Topics Include: We think we have 4 listeners, Adam: Squeezebox Oracle, The Hollywood Podcast: Unkempt Book is awesome, Shane's trip to California, Toby moving out, Dumpster Smoking, Drowning Mice, Suet, Girlfriend, What happened to Secret??…
EPISODE: Made Up Name 182
Topics Include: Weird Space Box, Ordering at Tim Horton, The Drug House, Having a McDonalds, Licking Lightbulbs NEW WORDPLAY: Sex and Space…
EPISODE: Firm Believer Flight 181
Happy New Year!,Topics Include: Christmas Message from Shane, False intro, Shane's new coat!, Santa and Religion, Shane Reacts to Photos Tom Shows to Him (will post photos later) Shane Almost Gets in a Fight, WORDPLAY NEXT WEEK: Strippers and Toilets…
Another No Name Show 180
Thanks baby Jesus, It's a Christmas miracle, finally a new show.Topics Include: Toilets are not a chair, Lap dance on a toilet, Sock on foot, Tom busy, Shane busy, Gross Casts, Shane's new awesome roommate, Switching Rooms, John Thomas, WE RECOMMEND THINGS: SHANE: Don't see Tron, Don't live with Toby, TOM: candychang.com and I Wish this Was stickers. Scarborough Dude came to visit! Stupid e-bike helmet.
EPISODE: We're Back, Horray! 179
Topics Include: Talking Cat, 2 Girls 1 Guy, Buzz Cut Pubic Hair, Dick's Jiggle, Banana Sex Toy, Shane's Man Crush, Country Music Sucks, The Windsor Miracle, Church Banners, We Got Male, WORDPLAY: Bee and Sex NEW TOPIC: Name the Banana Sex Device. Shane and Tom Recommend Stuff…
EPISODE: Ketchup Packet Ofmyseed 178
Topics Include: Packets of Shane's seed, The House, Buying a Book, Downtown Porn Stars, I'm not creepy WORDPLAY: Sex and Bees.…
Meat Mop Sanctuary 177
Topics Include: Us being random idiots!…
EPISODE: Vis-a-vis Busy Bee 176
Topics Include: Vis-a-vis, The House, People who say things weird, Willm and Getzel, FAG, Small Town Fun: Haunted Hobby Horse, Memorial Wreath, Bad Word Plays. WORDPLAY:Bathtub Ice Cubes. NEW Segment: Shane and Tom Recommend Stuff.…
EPISODE: Soundy Streaking Licker 175
Topics Include: Naming the Show, Bath Water Icecubes, RoRoMac Joke, Hamster, Tom not remembering I shit myself.....when I was 8, Shane Dresses like Tom, Boxers Are Dumb, Board Shorts, Dragonfly in Shane's Window, Thai's an Idiot, E-Bikes get an F, WORDPLAY: BP and Disaster, NEW TOPIC: Bathroom Ice Cubes (I'm not putting the dumb one Tom said)…
EPISODE: Reverse Body Hair 174
Topics Include : I don't effen know, don't have time to listen to the whole episode. WORDPLAY: Sex and Trees, NEW TOPIC: Oil Spill and Disaster…
EPISODE: Steel Pandora Emblem 173
Topics Include: Skyyyyyyype, Bad Doctors, Roadtrip, Noface Facebook, Shane's Thumb Ring WORDPLAY: Egypt and Cats, NEW TOPIC: Trees and Sex…
EPISODE: Wicker DickBong Basket 172
Topics Include: Didn't really feel like we had any topics, we just talked and talked and talked and talked, oh, then WORDPLAY: Breakfast and Bodyparts NEW TOPIC: Egyptian and Cats.
EPISODE: Bud Perforated Sleep 171
Topics Include: Tom is very white in a rap video, stripper gloves, communion, us in grade school, priest whispers, connect…connect…connect WORDPLAY: Hip Hop and India NEW TOPIC: Breakfast and Body Parts……..Then the show gets a bit serious while we talk about podcasting and why we aren't going to Podcasters Across Borders (you may just skip…not really funny.…
EPISODE: Tinted Glove Lottery 170
No time for topics: Enjoy!…
EPISODE: Boner Manible Little 169
Topics Include: Tom's Grade 2 Teacher, Our Old Lockers, Boner Pants, Pleasure Chokers, Floppy Sockers, Cleaning Up By Mom, Cake Decorating Lotion Bottle, Moroccan Wipe Story, WORDPLAY: Tom and Babies, NEW TOPIC: Non-emotional Erection Pants.…
EPISODE: Morocco Baby Bedet 168
Topics Include: Morocco, Babies (The Fins!!), Camels, Hole in Ground Toilets, Marconium, B-Do's and B-Dont's, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC : Tom and Babies…
Hello listeners! I regret to inform that...... (you are probably thinking something really bad!)....... we probably will not be doing a show for a few weeks. So, also, you know I am going on a trip for 2 weeks and I leave on Thursday, and due to the two of us not being to get together I don't think there will be a show this week, or next, or the next and maybe we'll do one after that.
The good news is we will have loads of content when we return, and I am bringing my iphone so I'll be able to record audio and video whilst away, maybe of me falling off a camel or what have you. I'll try to tweet as much as I can.
We'll chat soon folks!…
EPISODE: The Dumb Olympics 167
Topics Include: Dumb Olympics, Olympic Geocaching, More Dumb Olympics, Tom banging his Dumb Head, The Ronchy Ranch, Kancho Arcade, WORDPLAY: Phone and Pee…
LIVE VIDEO SHOW LINK- Sunday, Feb 7, 2010 1:00pm EST (Eastern)
Hey Y'all, Tom and I will be doing a live show this Sunday, February 7, 2010 at 1:00 pm Eastern Standard Time. So come and hang out with us, we'll probably do it a bit different than last year, we'll do a typical-ish show then open it up to comments and suggestions. We'll be using Ustream again so if you want to make comments you'll need to sign up for an account. I'm really looking forward to it. Here is the link Click Here…
EPISODE: Microbial Madridiot Doiley 166
Topics Include: Counter-Clockwork Orange, World Thong, Planetary Napkins, Law and Dumb, Youface, Geo-tales, Podcaches, I caught the Elf, Pole Licker, Rabbit Penises, Live Show February 7th 1pm EST.…
EPISODE: Grits Argyle Lotion 165
Topics Include: Butterfly Eyes, Podcaching, Gnarles Barkley, Geocaching!! Luke Wilson, Smooshy Face, Pulse/Tone, Hand Vagina, NEW TOPIC: Cats vs Dogs, The Purns, Catstration…
EPISODE: New Years' Beats 164
Topics Include: Odd Intro, Blew Moon, Penis-ilin BO, Man Talk!, iPhonies, Odd Outro, Live Show Coming.…
Jingly Ding Dong 163
Way too lazy on Christmas morning to type out the topics, I think Tom said SOMETHING funny.…
EPISODE: Post Swine Flu 162
Topics Include: Deep and Sexy, Cat Bugs, Boiled Flacid Carrot Tails, Wisker Pillow, SOUNDY MOUTH: Rudolphs Nose, The Bible, WORDPLAY: Stinky and Baby, Our DVD, Ticket in Prague, Cell Phones in Hospitals. NEW WORDPLAY: Reading and Bathrooms.…
Tom's been sick
I have been trying to get over one week of Swine Flu, and another week of general malaise.
This is why the show is being held up.
We're pumped to get another one up and running, so it won't be long now, but it's ALL TOM'S (me) FAULT.
Shane has more Purna updates...and we've had some great suggestions for SOUNDY MOUTHS!
It's going to be real soon. Promise.
EPISODE: Van Gypsum Coriander 161
Topics Include: Weekly Funnycast, Tom's Basement, Canadian Military Costumes are Low Res, Yukon, Spoiled Toilet Paper, BMX-ing, Shane Stands up at a Wedding, Shane Crosses His Arms, Shane Swears in front of Kids. SOUNDY MOUTHS: Bikes, Oldperson, Crashes, Deck Chair.…
EPISODE: Crack Cat Fulcrum 160
Topics Include: Half a Baby, Do New Babies Smell, Male Specific Evening, Groom Debris, Bow and Arrow, , NEW SEGMENT: SOUNDY MOUTHS, Bump into someone listening to the show, Purrrna the new cat, Pussy Pussy. NEXT WEEKS WORDPLAY: Smelly Babies.…
EPISODE: Something Something Something 159
TOPICS: Not sure!…
EPISODE: Venice Corner Quivery 158
Topics Include: Dead Skunks, Mermaphrodite, iPuke, Dry Eyes, Shane on You: Pant Sizes, Tom Falls, WORDPLAY : Church and Food, NEXT WEEK: Smart Stuff.…
EPISODE: Skipper Clout Pile 157
Topics Include: Church Cafe, The Car Before the Horse, Getting Cracked, WORDPLAY: Sex and Driving. NEW TOPIC: Church and Food…
EPISODE: Book Curly Grass 156
Topics Include:Shane doesn't know the words to songs, Jho signing Bryan Adam in her dreams, Shane's Dreams, Potvin's Rule!, Another broken window, WORDPLAY: Fashion and Bad, NEW TOPIC: Roadtrip and Sex Shop…
EPISODE: Pierced Diaper Torpedo 155
Topics Include: Windsor Shirt, Sea Sickness Thing, Kids Mess, Shane hates things that are almost going to break, Dumb Conductor, Jean on Jean, Talkshow Hosts, WORDPLAY: Greetings and Water, NEW TOPIC: Fashion and Bad.…
EPISODE: Banana Jambon Toast 154
Topics Include: Fun with Boats, Shane the crushing cartoon, Wedding with gravy, Savory Desserts, Beardicles, WORDPLAY: Wood and Widows, NEW TOPIC: Water and Salutations.…
EPISODE: Birthday Speckled Frandalope 153
Topics include: E-Bikes, Bikes and Hogs, Cat Sat, Dumb Waiter, Underwears NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: Wood and windows…
EPISODE: Tumbling Soap Tool 152
Topics Include: The Style Episode, Shane and Tom discuss their styles in the past, and a few tangents.…
EPISODE: Roadtrip Roadtrip Roadtrip 151
We talk about stuff and other stuff, including how Tom and I met.…
EPISODE: Dust Scrubby Lick 150
EPISODE: pinch ploop coconut 149
Topics to come…
EPISODE: Oreo Sad Oreo 148
Topics Include: Bye Oreo, Kingston, The Uke, Hole in Back, Mandibles, WORDPLAY : Middle East and Holiday/Beach TANGENT-Smart Stuff, NEW TOPIC: Michael Jackson and Dead.....**ROAD TRIP BONUS STORY: The Fly, Small Town/Big Deal…
Tom and I went to PAB (The podcast convention), and someone uploaded this pic to Flickr. All I have to say is LOLE, I think Tom's tongue is acutally touching my face.…
EPISODE: Pickle Dumpster Soup 147
Topics to come…
EPISODE: Cement Lion Loo 146
Topics Include: Long Grass, Gay Lion, Dumb in the Park, Meat Soap, "Don't look now, it's Tom", Weird Dancing Dude, WORDPLAY: Church and Food NEW TOPIC: Meat and Soap…
EPISODE: My Old House Scummy Basketball Net 145
Topics Include: My Old House, Biker Ladies, Jeans with no belt, Bum Industry, Tom doesn't get mountain biking, Shane found THE new tranquil place, Jerseys as clothes, tisk tisk, WORDPLAY: Explosions and Booze, NEW TOPIC: Church and Food.…
EPISODE: Pounding Lighter Reflector 144
Topics Include: (In no particular order) My Sister Oreo, Numb Bum, Cry-y Movies, Matching Clothes Couples, and Other Ridiculousness.…
EPISODE: Awesome Tom More-Awesome 143
Topics Include: Right Field-Wrong Field, Douche-Bag driver was actually Nice, People you wanna not like, Booze that Travels, Shitty Sex, WORDPLAY: Shane and Tom and Cop Shows NEW TOPIC: Booze and Explosions…
EPISODE: Jackalope Trying Clay 142
Topics Include:Mike Tysons Punch, Hate Li'l, 3.T. The Extra Testicle, Weird Oreo in the Middle of the Night, Presents for Shane, Undie Swap, iPood in the Dark, WORDPLAY: Sex and Mud, NEW TOPIC: Shane and Tom-izing Cop Shows.…
EPISODE: Coffee Condensed Milk 141
Topics Include: Bathroom Stories from the West, Greesy Gracie and White Lighning, Screwing around with the Mud, "I need to go the the Washroom...in the sky", Keep Buying Foreign, WORDPLAY: Mud and sex.…
EPISODE: Curly Licorice Chest 140
Topics Include: Laymen, What to do with Helvetica, Tom's wife Seals the deal, Another Hamster Death, Water Cr-eat-ures, Shake the Hamster, The Epic Burial of Helvetica. …
EPISODE: Tooth Ribbon Twig 139
Topics Include: Half of 'em, Alive Hair, Tom's Late, Annoying Drivers, How Would Jesus Drive, SMART STUFF: The Moon Landing???. Nuclear Intercept, iNuke, Speed Dating with a Bin Laden, Cell Phones Everywhere, THIS WEEK IN DUMB: Shane- Stupid-Head Phones…
EPISODE: Splashy Coin Bluebird 138
Topics Include: One up, Weird Vegetables, The Finger Factory, Getting to Bed Late, Himalayan Hamster, Member Waterbeds, WORDPLAY: Dinosaurs and All things Shane and Tom NEW WEEK: This Week in Dumb…
EPISODE: Pillar Tar Sandwich 137
Topics to come…
No new show today.
Hey, Tom and I got together today and recorded 30 minutes of a new show and the recorder shut down and it corrupted the file. I apologize but we didn't have the energy to do it all over again. Tom will try to salvage it but no guarantees. We'll put out another one next week.…
EPISODE: Plumb Public Dirt 136
Topics Include: Chicken in Eggs (Again), Fruit with meat in it, Helvetica the Hamster has Died, Face Hair, Ra-bits, THIS WEEK IN DUMB:Tom:Coffee Talk Shane: Dart Night…
As you all may know, Helvetica "The Hamster" wasn't doing to swell as of late. Anyways, just wanted to inform that he/she has moved on to the "Big wheel in the sky". He/she's little heart didn't make it through the night. We will be having a short service during our next episode on Sunday. He/she will be missed by myself and Oreo.…
EPISODE: I Love Sponges 135
Topics Include: Best Revenge Story...Period, White as a diaper, Sniffing Sponges. WORDPLAY: Dog and Stolen NEXT WEEK: This Week in Dumb…
:. . Check out Shane's design show ( video walkthrough)
LIVE VIDEO SHOW
Free TV : Ustream…
EPISODE: Skinny Floor-Mat Wand 134
Topics Include: New Tranquil Place, Odd names, Dog Gone!, Pushing the Needle, Vote for Tom's Bar, WORDPLAY: Pleasuring Ones Self and Music, NEW TOPIC: Dogs and Stolen…
As you may already know, I (Tom) own a music venue in Windsor, Ontario.
It is special. And not in THAT way.
There's this vote happening on CBC Radio 3 with regards to my music venue, Phog Lounge.
Searchlight has a contest right now which will decide (by votes alone) the Best Live Music Venue in Canada.
I think Phog Lounge is that place for a litany of reasons.
However, as listeners in many countries, and from all over the place, this isn't necessarily pressing for you to do...to go to cbcradio3.com (http://radio3.cbc.ca/polls/?pollId=31) and vote on a daily basis...BUT...
It would help to forward this cause, this effort to be voted Best Live Music Venue in Canada.
If you would be so kind as to help me out with this project, I would be forever grateful.
Again, the link is - http://radio3.cbc.ca/polls/?pollId=31 - and you are able to vote every 24 hours.
We are a 60-capacity venue, going up against places in TORONTO that hold just short of 1000 people per show. These places are impersonal, yes, but they have followers nonetheless. I need your votes desperately from now until February 24th, every day. Is that asking too much?
The most dedicated fan base will win, plain and simple.
So, please help.
I love you.
LIVE VIDEO SHOW LINK- Sunday, Feb 1, 2009 1:00pm EST (Eastern)
LIVE SHOW LINK-CLICK HERE …
EPISODE: Gold Ovular Wow 132
Topics Include: Board Games, Saying Stuff Wrong, Shane's Appointment, Next Weeks Live Video Show on ustream.com, WORDPLAY: Pork and Beverages, NEW TOPIC: Pleasuring One-Self and Music…
EPISODE: Glistening Obama Flag 131
Topics Include: More about "Man Bags", Ross, Beer Stories-Brown Tooth, To Save-ah the flay-vah, WORDPLAY: Internet and Religion/Old (shane did the wrong one) NEW TOPIC: Pork and Beverages…
EPISODE: Retrievery Flake Goad 130
Topics Include: Making Donuts, "Hey, I'm cool, I make donuts", Old People Wiping Out, "I'm going to Pee!", "I've got to go, I'll be right back" THIS WEEK IN DUMB: (S) Fly Down (T) Slurry Mouth…
EPISODE: Desperate Gargantuan Tweezers 129
Topics Include: Ground Tweezers, New Years Resolutions, Y/B Undies, "Why does it have a door?", Sausage Doll, Adolf........, Man Bag Rules, WORDPLAY: Dead and Sex Nextweek: This Week in Dumb…
EPISODE: Ho Ho Ho 128
Topics Include: Missing Recorder, Missing Keys, Dead Sexy, Mile High Diaper, Shane Hates Static, Text Mishap, Codelia Dinky, WORDPLAY: Penis Cozy, NEW TOPIC: Dead and Sex
EPISODE: Skivies Strapping Pore 127
Topics Include: Climbing, Croch-et, All I want for Christmas, Kangaroo, Angry Boy, How to Make Bacon Rounds, Taylor. WORDPLAY: Food and bands, NEW TOPIC: Name the penis cozy, and sayings on it.
Just a little note from Shane, Oreo and Helvetica.
Lost and Sound
Hey Everyone, Tom and I recorded a new show on Sunday but somehow our audio recorder has been misplaced....yup, not good. We're bummed, cause that ep may be gone forever, let alone the expensive digital recorder may never be returned. So please be patient (as you always are), if it doesn't turn up we'll have to think of some other way to record a new show. Happy Late December (generic enough?) You'll hear from us soon
shane and tom
EPISODE: Veering Toad Angry 126
Topics Include: Santa and Jesus, Opening both doors, We will never..., Texting came too late, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC : Food and Bands
EPISODE: Flashy Diarrhea Noni 125
Topics Include: Shane's Tropical Treats, Tom's Tropical Treats.
NEXT WEEKS WORDPLAY:... not sure?
EPISODE: Mopping Sour Lantern 124
Topics Include: Stuff...
EPISODE: Bellybutton Hazel Weird 123
Topics to come
EPISODE: Coriander Rope Peanut 122
Topics Include: Gaight, Gettting prepared for stuff, He's Hat, WORDPLAY: Sex and Casinos.
EPISODE: Dick Money Weed 121
Topics Include: Picnic Table Teen Poetry, Bicken, Shane Comments on Tom's Clothes, Diary Podcasts?, E-Bikes, Watermelon Lovers, Windtucky, This Week in Dumb (TWID) Tom: Pizza on Face, Shane: Shred the CD.
Yellow Brown Spittle 120
Topics Include: Casino-no's, Shi-tea, Our Friends "The Peppers" Show up, MRI Update, Stiff Neck, WORDPLAY: Chicken Stripper.
Stream Tight Plow 119
Topics Include: Shane gets broken in, "Am I clean?", The Kill, THIS WEEK IN DUMB (TWID) Tom: Bitches, Shane: Pee Shoes.
EPISODE: Chicken Zeppelin Stripper 118
Topics to come: Poo and Pee-le, Chicken Stripper, Adventure Race, The Stall, Deuces Wild, "Take the Bike". WORDPLAY: Picking your nose in the CAR. NEWTOPIC (in 2 weeks) Chicken Stripper
EPISODE: Piano Handel Violin 117
Topics Include: Shane back from vacay, Mom'd Apartment, Croc of S#*T, Booger Container, Honking by accident. WORDPLAY: Pleasure oneself room/office NEW TOPIC: Picking nose in car.
EPISODE: Gingerbread Jumbling Poof 116
Topics to come: Thanks Tom
EPISODE: Sangria LemonDrop Iris 115
Topics to come
EPISODE: Lotion Vapour Dildo 114
Topics Include: Shane's Bad Story(last week), Tom's Skin Hair, Tanning, Squirrel and Nuts, "Hey You!.. Nice_______, Protein Powder, Homeboys, Sorry Officer, WORDPLAY: Too Young to Breast Feed, NEW TOPIC: Tanning and Cooking.
EPISODE: Hindenburg Stapled Diaphragm 113
Topics Include: Pee-king in Garbage, Mom staying at Shanes apt, Saying the wrong thing, Beaver WORDPLAY: Embarrassed at the gym. NEW TOPIC:
EPISODE: Growing Forlorn Nathan 112
Topics Include: Our trip to the podcast convention, The casino cough, Wrapping it up, WORDPLAY: Genitals and Booze, NEW TOPIC: Discomfort and embarrassment at the gym.
Hello, My Names Are...
Having returned from Kingston, the podcaster conference called PAB (Podcasters Across Borders), I have only great things to say, which I will do in future posts.
I want to share the relative success with a t-shirt idea Shane and I came up with.
I wanted to make a huge sentence with mentions of all the social media applications in it, (I Digg when Twits Pownce on del.icio.us ideas...), and then print it on the front of a t-shirt. I figured it would draw praise and giddiness from podcasters and social/new media nuts.
But Shane honed the idea into a giant "Hello My Name Is..." name tag with all of the fields being the social media applications, and then blank spaces left to be filled in with a fabric marker or a Sharpie. I loved the idea, and in a day Shane had a finished design. I burned the image of the design on the screen at Phog, and brought it to Kingston. Shane brought shirts, and we slowly took orders, and then made them to order in our hotel room during the dinner break on Saturday night.
And now I think we'll have our hands full printing more, as were are more than willing and able to do so.
best part of the "fill in the blank" t-shirt with social media info is
that if you go to conferences (and you need to wear those lanyards with
your name and information on it, which never sit right) you can simply
tell someone to take a photo of your shirt and they instantly have
LOADS of contact info that people today are coming to collect. This
shirt should be a staple for conferences. Heh-heh...
EPISODE: Wicked Tube Purple 111(b)
If you didn't notice 111 cut out half way through.
Sorry about the screw up, here is the full episode 111(b).
I'm a big idiot!!
Well look at me, what a stupid face, All of you saying "Wow, after 2 and a bit weeks, there is finally an episode", then about 20 minutes in, NOTHING!. "Is this a cruel joke?" you say, "Are they just talking really quiet?", Nope!, I was in a rush last night and didn't listen back to the show. I will make this better, What I'll do is just repost as a new name, 111(b), and it will be the whole show.
"Don't give up on me dad" (what movie is that from?)
EPISODE: Wicked Tube Purple 111
Lazy Lazy Lazy
Pubes and Velcro
I made a joke during the last show about two sets of pubic hair meeting up and making a Velcro peeling sound.
Well, I saw this microscopic view of Velcro and felt like I HAD to share.
EPISODE: Jackhammer Trench Picnic 110
Topics Include: Doing a Video Show, Shane's Biggest Organ, Lotion, Tom's Hairy Arms, Harvard Lampoon, Man Velcro, Pee Cup, Shit & Piss, Kleenex Boxes, WORDPLAY: Religious T's, NEW TOPIC: Crap and Shoes
EPISODE: Pickle Bus Toaster 109
Ha, I just noticed that episode 102 had pickle in the name, Pickle on the brain I guess, all of its pickley goodness. Topics may come later, or not.
EPISODE: Wet Damp Moist 108
I'm not telling, it will be a surprise
MAJOR TECH PROBLEMS
My recorder has, for some reason, refused to connect to my computer. What this means is that I cannot simply drag the MP3 files onto the Net.
I must now dub them, real time, until I am able to then re-format the device.
So, please be patient, and we have a show, "in the can", but are unable to loose it on all of you.
EPISODE: Radical Boil Poop 107
Topics Include: Ross' Pumper, Making Faces, Whale Sex, Church Tom, Bike Riding and Bad Helmets, Baby Shawarma, Grunts, Hamsterbate, 1 out of Gay, WORDPLAY: Dumb and Japanese NEW TOPIC: Running and Sex.
EPISODE: Red Neck Graft 106
Topics to come.
Sign TasteBud GlowWorm 105
Topics Include: Happy Birthday Oreo, Long Hair, clippers, Hamster Hammer, Hammers Asunder, Bad Hats, Uber Pattern Hoodies, Premature Short Wearers, Un-Fan of Fans, "ODD" and Even, WORDPLAY: Tampon/Maxi and Air Freshener, NEW TOPIC: Old Pets
EPISODE: Spare Glue Strike 104
Bowling, Canadian Podcast Buffet, Podcasters Across Borders Registration, Sean McGaughey, Senior Citizen Love Making, CBC Radio 3, Craig Norris, Quirks and Quarks, Clay Pigeons, Sprinkler Pee, Fatty and Skinny ("Hamsterbating"), Burying Food Under Mattress, Air Freshener Tampons, Ear cleaning with tampons?, Karate Kid Hand Drum, Shane's Elimination Diet, Sticky Ball and Growing Snake Dollar Store Gifts, Sponge Smell, and an actual clip of Craig Norris and Tom at the end of the show...
Holy links Batman!
Mentioned Squeezebox on CBC Radio 3 Webcast
I think Shane may wet himself, and I hope he does it while wearing jogging pants!
He will not believe that I finally mentioned Squeezebox while I scored some time on the "air".
That's me with my CBC Radio 3 swag!
I was honoured to have the opportunity to co-host the Craig Norris Hour on Thursday's show. Dan Misener (Jim Dupree: Enthusiast) was kind enough to drag me around his workplace, and give me a day I'll never forget.
Radio 3 has done more for Canadian indie music than the rest of Canadian music stations, as far as I'm concerned. I mean, really, they legitimized a huge portion of talent by existing with strong people at the helm.
So yeah, that might mean we'll get more listeners to the podcast. And if you're one of the people who decided to check out our show because Craig was kind enough to mention it...welcome.
Oh, and uh, hold on to your hats, because this show's content is far more rocky than most.
Remember my comment a couple of shows ago about ICQ?...I think I said "I Sikh You" and we had a good laugh.
Well, I saw this the next day and cracked up.
ICQ Toothpaste. Delicious, clean-mouthed chatting.
I forgot to post it until now, as I clean off my desktop of recent screen-captures.
EPISODE: Hood Mange Pants 103
Topics Include: Tom's not a Glove Wearer, Pumping Gas, Beer Story: Couldn't Hold It, Finding Money, Underwear Paper, Booze Idiot, WORDPLAY: Toys and Pee, NEW TOPIC: Finding Money
EPISODE: Pickles Scar Checkerboard 102
Topics Include: Telemarking, Ameri ca-ca, Taffy, French Winter Festival, Wetting Toy Dogs, Dumb Toys, Value Village, Odd Ads, Shit up a Rope, Bad Porn, Cry = Throw Up, Sikh-ing Helmets, 31 days at the Gym, Seeing old Guys Nude WORDPLAY: Italian and adjusting Junk, NEW TOPIC: Pee and Toys.
EPISODE: Cotton Soaker Parachute 101
Topics to Come
For those of you who tuned into our 100th Episode Live Podcast Extravaganza thank you so much, Tom and I had lots of fun and it was so nice to speak to some of you who were scattered around our fair planet. For those who had trouble listening we are sorry, apparently there are some limitations to the software, but it is way cool we were even able to do it. As for posting the show, you can click on the link to the right (to review past episodes) and listen to it in its entirety (but it is choppy), I'm editing out all the dead space right now but the show was 2 hours so it will take some time, but when I'm done I will post it on the site.
Now for our next 100! Gosh!
Calling in on Sunday for 100th Episode
Hi All, I have the info on calling in to the live show on Sunday for the 2 of you that will call. You will need Skype, (google it) or if you want to call from you landline you can but cost way more money. Second you will need to buy some credits for Skype, 5-10 bucks goes a very long way and you can call any long distance number in the world at very low rates.
If you can't call in, you can click the link to the right (once the show has started, everyone will need to do this to listen live), this will bring you to the live show page, and you'll need to click the green "START MY CALL" button in the middle, and you will get a pop up window where you can chat with us (no charge) and see what everyone else is typing.
Hope it all goes well,
Here is the phone number to call in, 1 724 444-7444
Enter Call ID-10363#
Then Enter PIN- you will have your own pic
Hope to hear from you.
EPISODE: Curdle Panties Princess 99
Topics Include: Tim Hortons LIVE!, Jobs!Jobs, Tube Shirt, Curdle, Speanuts and Punties, Windsor Honda, FOB, Frequency Beaver, Fettucini with..., Shitty Doors, Throat Clearing, Meeting a Listener, WORDPLAY: Hate the Past, Almost Hit the Wall
Oh my god!
I just saw this pic on Facebook and had to post it, awesome! This is Tom's Niece, Carly (glasses) and her friend Cayla (not glasses). Their school is right near the park where we record the show. They went and took some pics near the weird dead squirrel in the tree, so funny.
Thanks Cayla and Carly!!
EPISODE: Waffle SoupKitchen Casing 98
Topics Include: Loser Fans, Milkbag Jersey, Jesus!, What's That?, Urinal Pucks Smell Good,NBA Dunks, Off Come On, Melted Butter, Rash, Dog Rub, Druids, Ferdinan/Fred the Squirrel, Hating the Past, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Fag Feet, NEW TOPIC: Hating the Past
100th Episode LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCED FEB 24th at 12:01pm, EST
We have now set a date for our 100th episode live show. It will be on Sunday, February 24th 2008 at 12:01pm Eastern Standard Time (Toronto). The show will run about 2 hours, you can listen live by clicking the Talk Shoe Link (to the right) and also call in by VOIP or by Skype, or landline(but that will cost standard long distance rates). I will post the number to call closer to the date, and outline the instructions. We are really looking forward to hearing from you.
shane and tom
EPISODE:Bottlecap Needle Porcupine (97)
Topics Include: Dumb Hounds, Dumb SuperBowl, Don't you know who we are?, Manties, Diamond Shreddies, Dumb Ads, Tree Burning, Lead Tinsel, Inverse Cooler, "It's a Monster!", Drag Feet, Tube Shirts WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Forgot to Record, NEW TOPIC: Fag Feet
EPISODE: Limp Freckle Stab (96)
Topics Include: The Lost Recording, Flying Squirrel Too, Boo-Cocky, Boy Buoy, Tibbles Kibble, Smoking Hot Coffee, Beericide, Possum Tumbler, Dumb Toys, Obi-Gone-Kenobi, Need Ep.53, Shane's Retainer, Hot Shoe, Live Show EP #100 Coming Soon, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: What is it called when you Podcast but forget to hit record?
EPISODE: Anal-versary Number 2 (95)
Topics Include: 2nd Anniversary, Tom's Hurty Back, Chicka-Chicka, Purple Beret, Stop Looking in My Ear, Licking Qtips, Paper Sleeve Babies, Alot of Doctor WORDPLAY: Fish Cereal, tangent: Fish Head
EPISODE: Plaque Dandelion Chimey 94
Topics Include: Dumpy Dogman, A Swim Around the Bowl, Space Oreo, Catatonic, F@#k F@#k F@#k F@#k, Swearing in Other Languages, Nutty Allergies, Holy Shirt, WORDPLAY : Hobo Neck Scarf NEW TOPIC: Fish and Cereal
Happy New Year From Shane and Tom
Hope your New Years Eve was as exciting as mine, and by exciting I mean, putting a little glitter hat on Oreo and Helvetica and playing Old Wang Mine, or whatever that song is called on my Squeezebox. Don't be jealous now, 364 more days and you can try it for yourself. We'll have a new show at the end of this week.
EPISODE: Candleabra Vein Peanutbrittle 93
Topics Include: Nylons, Hide and Poo Seek, Toilet Bolts, Spotted Dick, Helvietica Condensed, Neck Steak, Happy Sandwich Christmas, Scallop Butter, Mysterious Gifts. New Wordplay Topic: Name the Hobo neck scarf.
EXTRA: Crevass Porkchop Twitch 92 (part2)
Sorry Folk, I just listened to the EP and noticed that there was 10 minutes at the end, and voila! here it is.
EPISODE: Crevass Porkchop Twitch 92
This weeks episode was a donkey show, We tried to get together on Friday but we forgot the recording equipment. We stated this episode and the batteries died 10 mins in, we got new batteries and those ones died too.....somebody is telling us something??
EPISODE: Sailboat Blinker CowPat (91)
Topics Include : Aw, just listen dammit!
Weird Bathroom Stalls
Hey ya'll, Sorry for being such an idiot and not posting this pic till now but behold, drawing of creepy bathroom.
enjoy the awkwardness.
EPISODE: Rice Cheese Lightbulbs (90)
Topics Include: Hot hair, Wet neck, Sleepy Kids and Other.
Wordpay Topic : Kids Games and Diseases
New Topic: Hair and Fire
EPISODE: Felt Gap Orange (89)
Topics include: Too many steps, Hello Mr. Tapeworm, Ahhh...Pooo, WORDPLAY: Newspaper Diet, NEW TOPIC: Kids games and Disease
EPISODE: 88 (not sure what we called it)
Show Notes to come: There is one pic I need to scan and post, will do that on Monday.
EPISODE: Barcalounger Telescope Sprinkler 87
Topics Include: Why we missed an episode. Oreo deuces on the floor again, The Stairway of Doom, Tom Delivers Something, Shane Didn't Make It, WORDPLAY: Grocery Shopping and Moms, NEW TOPIC: Paper Route Diet.
Why we missed...
No, I'm not mad or yelling...that's the name of the headlining band that played Friday night at my much-loved baby, the second annual P.A. Music Festival. www.pafestival.com
As you should know, I own a bar: Phog Lounge.
I book an annual music festival with The Avalon Front, another music venue in Windsor. We show solidarity to music and the customers, by joining forces to have an ass-kicking two days of music from around the country. Simply the best of the best.
That's wy I was unable to do a podcast this week.
I am barely recovering, mentally, and now I am preparing to host the most incredible month of music I've ever booked. www.thephogblog.blogspot.com for details...if you don't believe me.
Now that the madness of hosting 10 remarkable bands in two nights is done, I am ready for Shane's bullshit once again.
Get ready, 'cause it's time to laugh again!
No show today folks! Can we say Shane and Tom are slackers?
Episode: Marzipan Thrombosis GhettoBlaster 86
Topics to come:
EPISODE: Mustard Califlower Marble (84)
Topics to come:
EPISODE: Stamen Papsmear Pepper (85)
Topics include: Cat pood piles, Ass Maxi, Flying High, Garage Reselling, Piss Flap, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: None (we suck) NEW TOPIC: Name the Flap on dudes underwear
EPISODE:Salamander Signal Frost 83
Topics Include: Shane plays the "squeezebox" in public, The Healers Touch, Birthing fun, Lawnmower Dog Walker. NO WORDPLAY, NEW TOPIC :Menonite and Diapers
Mommy?, Does dad still love me?
Member that time you had your snowsuit on, waiting for daddy to get home from work to take you tobogganing, and he never showed up?
I don't actually (no dad), but it's a metaphor. The proverbial daddies (shane and tom) have missed our quality time with the tike (you guys) and are not able to get a show to you (the tobogganing outing). We are sorry, Mommy has looked down her glasses at us and we will try our best to be less negligent, or Mommy wont put out anymore.....ewww, but I think you know what we mean.
Daddy still loves you very much, here's a 10 spot, go buy yourself some back bacon (that's what my Dad would have said).
shane and tom (the Daddies)
k that sounds very wrong!
EPISODE: Cherry Crust Franklin (82)
Topics Include: Shane's Big Surprise, That Man's a Big Waste...I mean Big Waist,Tom the Big Shooter... Ouch!, Promaja, Voodoo Lady, WORDPLAY: Disease and Dessert, NEW TOPIC: Mexican and Medical or Doctor
Tell us your favourite Shane and Tom moments
We're trying to get something together here and need your help. We're trying to organize a best of Shane and Tom and would totally appreciate your picks for your favourite moments on our show. Either a topic or a story, anything. We have our favourite moments but want to know yours. Either email us or just leave a comment under this post.
shane and tom
EPISODE: poison dandruff spanky (81)
Topics Include: Shane's Fall, Tom's Fall, Miracle Spring Water,Green Prayer cloth, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Dog and Booze, NEW TOPIC: Disease/Ailment Dessert
EPISODE: Snail Balm Pinecone (80)
Topics Include: Singa-pore, Shane's Hamster name, Hurt Ribs, Banking Plane, Guinea Pig Bare Back, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Bird Hair, NEW TOPIC: Pets and Liquor.
EPISODE: Spinach Shih-tzu Kindling (79)
Topics Include: Sicky Pie, Lap Fire, Shane's Back, Balkan Hotline, Pigeon Problems, Dropped Keys, Hamster Names, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Being Hit in Face with Baseball, NEW TOPIC: Hairy Bird
Back to old Post Date
Lately we have changed the day that we are posting the show, we have been recording and posting on Wednesday, and posting either Wednesday or Thursday. Because of work I have less time to edit the show and post it the same day we record. So, I think it will be best to still post the show on Sunday, so it's available to you all on Monday morning like good old times, Plus if Tom and I are not able to meet up we have a few days to make it up before the weekend.
With that being said, you'll have to wait now till Sunday for the new show? But it will be well worth it, we promise.
I trust we are back on track and the shows will be coming out regularly from now on.
Take it easy
shane and tom
Sicky McSicky Pants
Hey there friends!,
Tom's feeling a tad under the weather, so we wont be able to record till (hopefully) tomorrow, keep your britches on, but at least change them some time tomorrow.
licorice bruise dentalfloss
We talk about The Return of The Squeezebox, The New Hamster, Being In The Park, Staring Contest With A Stranger, Man Bag (Murse) Problems, Hard Ground, Shit Face The Hamster (pictured above), Hot Dog Meat-Skin-Straw, Baseball to The Face, Grub-Like Larvae Sack Implanted in a Rabbit's Chest, This Week's Wordplay: Getting hit in the face/mouth/head with a baseball.
Another Mirror Disaster
There's nothing I'd rather have hanging from my rear-view mirror than a giant plastic shithawk with a wingspan of nearly two feet...how about you?
This was sent in by Angie, a good friend of Shane's, and it is proof that if you pay attention, you will see the most garish things hanging in people's cars.
Shane had this to say about it, "It looks like a really bad B-movie prop, you know the birds on a stick? Maybe he's a washed up B-movie prop guy. I think there is a more professional name like a "Gaffer" or something, but in this instance I'd say a Squawker."…
iron chinchilla cleft
Topics Include: Chinchilla, KY Packets, Calgary, Me Cake, Womanequins are hot, Huge Coffee Mugs, New Pet, Word Association, WORD PLAY: Hawaiian Western, NEW TOPIC: Human Cake
Roadtrip Show (76)
Topics Include: I can't even begin to describe this show, but funny as hell. enjoy!
Here is the link for the Hamster video Tom showed Shane,
I'm posting this, because I know as soon as Shane sees it, he will laugh out loud.
The only thing is that I cannot remember the context of this.
I don't remember why it's so funny.
This is a self-portrait taken during the last recording at Shane's old workplace...and it was in relation to a story I was telling...but I can't remember...
Shane - It's your chance to fill in the blanks in the comment section.
LOLE!, this was your impersonation of the dog hard rubbing his nose on the homeless guys crotch and this was when the dog was gumming his jogging pant pole.
I saw this abomination leaving work the other day.
The family thought it would be cute to post a photo of this poor bastard in fake Oakleys on the bumper of his car...on his 50th birthday no less!
Let's get something straight. On my birthday, I'm the goddamn man of the hour. Screw that, I am the Man of the Year on that day. Christ, the man made it to 50 years old! Do you know how hard that is to do these days? In Windsor, Ontario?! Our air is like baby powder, filled with grit and dust, except it comes from broken down shit-bucket cars that lunch-bucket brains can't let go of...so the powder is more like brake powder.
So, back to this poor-man's Tom Selleck...
He's got the gold chain on, he's obviously tanning on a boat at Put-In-Bay for the long weekend. His moustachio is turning a little blonde, and his JOakleys are hiding his bloodshot, Coors-Light-Lakeport-Honey-Brown-and-Lucky-Lager-indicating-eyeballs. Let's get a shot of this, and save it for his benchmark life achievement. We'll put it in the local paper so all the guys on The Force can laugh and point guns at him for being so lame, and then we'll attach it to his bumper so EVERY a-hole in the city that sees him driving will know that he's a Coors-Light-Lakeport-Honey-Brown-and-Lucky-
And when he gets home, we'll hang him by his nuts and beat him like a pinata until he begs for death. It'll be the best birthday EVER!!
If you can't tell, I'm not a fan of the prank. Most people see this as fun, but I see this as disrespectful. I would retaliate with all the fury of a million maniacs and dig out my kids pictures from when their busted faces were still forming in their skulls during puberty and post them all over their high school hallways.
"Honk if you think I'm sexy, It's my birthday, 50," is supposed to be funny.
This dude's family thinks it's funny to have people looking at him like he's bad weather.
Nice family dude.
Hope you live another 75 so they can photocopy images of you having your retirement-home-diapers being changed so they can dump them on the unsuspecting citizenry of Windsor from a blimp with the scrolling message, "Honk if you'd like to wipe this guy's lily-white ass! He's 125!"
gravy muffin peachfuzz
Topics Include: In the Park, Tom has problems with people who have problems with weight, Burger BB's, Is the Fan Loud Enough, Funny Restaurant, Wierd Hotdogs WORDPLAY ANSWERS : One Eyed Cat NEW TOPIC : Hawiian Western (anything combo-ing the two)
Silver Pangea Burgler NEW (74)
USE THIS ONE!: AUDIO HAS BEEN FIXED!
Silver Pangea Burglar (74)
Tom's first time posting...so be patient...THIS SHOW MAY BE IN STEREO!! If it is, we'll be fixing it soon enough.
Topics include: Oreo Watches The Show, Shane's Job Woes, Goldilocks in the Sideview Mirror, Palmolive and Crown Royal, Can't Keep Ice Cream Down, and more...
Worplay was a bust. New Wordplay: Name the cycloptic cat on this site (shaneandtom.libsyn.com)
One Track Mind
My allergies have been so bad lately (now) that I am seeing through my third eye...like this heartwarming image above.
There's nothing like the desecrated corpse of a cat by some Dungeons & Dragons fanatic to tug at the heartstrings.
Ultimately, I'm posting this image to get a rise out of Shane.
The D&D fanboy who lovingly carved out his dead-cat's eyes and then sewed the eyeholes closed probably was sending a message to all the Shanes out there. He then glued a taxidermist-kit-eyeball to FluffyÃ¢ï¿½ï¿½s forehead. Cute.
A customer of mine, at work, had his legs carved up, as if he was on an Amazon expedition wearing only pantyhose.
"What the hell happened to your legs Glen?"
He chuckled, "My kitten."
Were you in an OxyContin-coma when your kitten used your legs for a scratch-post?!
This is what kills me about cats! They can maul your legs or hands or arms, leaving you a tangled mess of scar tissue, and you cat lovers chuckle.
Why do axe murderers get such a bad rap? If you survive, you've basically had a run-in with a less-lovable cat.
If an animal in the park scratched up my legs like this, it would likely be a foaming-at-the-mouth raccoon fighting to apex Mount Tom because I was holding its babies over the tar-breath-mouth of my blind dog.
But when a kitten is allowed to do this to someone (its owner/master) I realize that all cat owners have been duped.
I can see it now, in the days ahead when I want a pet who craps in the same place every time. I'll get a cat. I'll succumb. And the moment I do, I'll wake up without a nose. Just a gristly cartilage stump. And I'll giggle uncontrollably as Mr. Peepers ravages my mangled beak.
At that moment, I will come to the computer, try to control my laughter, halt the flow of blood flowing over the keyboard, and erase this post.
I saw a link online where you could leave a message on a scrolling sign in an office building somewhere in the US (California, I think).
I thought I'd pimp Squeezebox...
But all of the workers were just looking away.
They were completely unimpressed with anything on the sign...even the horrendous racial epithets people were displaying...
I thought they'd appreciate my simple advertisement instead of the repeating message of "Balls, balls, balls..." or "You're ugly!"
But, to no avail.
The message scrolled, stayed for a second, repeated a couple of times, and went away forever.
Podcasts themselves are a lot like that.
Me and my Fit
Sadly enough Tom and I were not able to get together today to record our wonderful show, I was too busy with packing and shit before I head off on vacation. There will also be no ep. next week as I will also be gone. What about Oreo you ask? Well I just buy a rather large turkey, cook it, and then toss it in the tub, and she can chip away at it all week (she doesnt even notice im gone due to all the turkey induced sleeping). I kid, my friend will be staying here, to feed the bitch. If you live in Toronto, Ottawa or Montreal, I'll be saying hi as I drive by.
I am surprised to see that Shane has still not posted any images of the gift I bought him for his birthday.
These magnets of cat butts swelled at me from the shelf in this weird little store in Toronto. I was with Jhoan (wife), Misener, and Jenna, and they all agreed that it pulsated with Shane-ness. It still wasn't gross enough for Misener...but I couldn't see anything dead or turned inside-out...so this was the winner.
The best part is the little cat in the bottom right corner saying, "Guess which one is mine?"
These are the only kind of gifts I know Shane will like. I do not want to buy him a "personal massager" that he burns out by sitting on them for hours on end. I want something that will ignite his imagination. I want something to take him up into the rear-asses of felines.
They were the most expensive magnets I ever bought, but his reaction was worth every penny.
Toaster Whistle Cardboard (73)
Topics include: Fun with earspuds, 2 Fingers?, The Dogs got a bone-r, The Dates got a bone-r WORDPLAY ANSWERS :Grey Pubic Hair, NEW TOPIC: Mayo on Steak
This is a little photo proof of the single-shoe-theory that Shane and I concocted several episodes ago...
I don't know why this particular black shoe is paired with a crumpled laundry detergent bottle, but I have an idea...
This photo was taken on one of the many roads in Windsor where "Front-Porch-Fridge" people toss their trash in public.
This is a service road that runs parallel to our lone expressway. There is nothing really on this road except deep, wet ditches and shallow, dry personalities.
I found myself to be walking along it while my car was out of commission recently.
Most of the time, you see skater kids, wearing grimy backpacks, collecting stupidity out of the fuel-stained gravel on the sides of the roads.
I would hope that one of them would get ram-rodded by a truck while wandering down this side road, which would explain the shoe...but that's wishful thinking.
I think this shoe is nothing more than another piece of garbage being dumped alongside old newspapers, bottles, cans, and broken basketball rims (yes I saw one). I just don't know why there's only one! Where is the other shoe?
I actually could see a skater kid moving along at a good click, with those overly floppy shoes that are wider across than they are long, simply continuing along after one shoe bites the dust. These kids are usually pretty lazy, unless you are willing to give them something new for free, and I contest that they might actually leave their abused, battered, putrid pedal-foot shoe in a ditch.
"Screw it, I'll get it tomorrow. Hope it doesn't rain."
Idiots. Go pierce your brain.
If you have any theories, send them our way.
No episode this week. Tom sucks!
Too much going on in my little head to remember one of my favourite weekly activities.
Shane was ready and waiting.
I was watching synchonized swimming, clueless. Completely unaware of what I had forgotten.
I am a tool. By the way, that is not Shane and I in the photo above...but it IS our signature move!
They're dead meat.
sewer badger sunburn (72)
Topics include: Hating Gingers, Massaging Mom, Blind Web Design, Grey Pubes WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Nurses and Sex, NEW TOPIC: Grey Pubic Hair
drunk dripping drunk (71)
Don't even ask, just listen and enjoy...or whatever.
Here is the xray I was talking about...with the screws in my jaw. The other weird thing was they found a bird skull imbedded in my brain as well! Strange... I guess thats what they mean by Bird Brain.
nostril megaphone flange (70)
Topics Include: Skin Tags, Heart Germ, Caughy with her Shirt Up, M.R.Eye Ball, Grueyrereyer????? WORDPLAY: Shorts and Money, NEW TOPIC: Heart Bug Repellant
The Prayers Are Working
As you know, the show has been on hiatus.
Shane has been kind enough to ask for prayers and to post on the site.
Above is a picture of my Dad on Sunday, before his heart bypass surgery where he was impaired more than ever during the surgery.
My Dad has gone from bad to worse, and then miraculously, stable and slowly (VERY) improving.
Doctors do not really know how he has made it from one hospital to the other (Tuesday morning) and now that he has been hooked up to 20 machines, pumping his blood, making his heart beat, breathing for him, keeping him sedated, keeping him pain free, keeping his blood pressure regulated, keeping his oxygen saturation regulated, he has drastically reduced his dependance on all of these aids.
His body was on 4 MAJOR doses of 4 MAJOR drugs. He has been capable of being weened off of all but one of them (blood pressure) and he has almost finished needing that one! He had a pump in an artery near the heart, in correlation with a heart medicine (forcing the muscle to work), which doctors thought was the only way his heart would keep beating. They thought his heart muscle could be dead from the massive heart attack he had on Monday. But, he is now competely free of the pump, and the heart-beat-medicine.
The prayers are working. This is what I'm saying.
I am not one who is into hokey beliefs...but I am spiritual. I have been praying to every god (God) there is, and I know that he's been in the thoughts of many reading this, and it IS WORKING.
There is almost no other explanation. Please keep thinking of him.
Every good intention and every strong prayer is helping him heal.
He has a lot to live for and you are helping him.
Thank you from the bottom of my squeezy heart.
His squeezebox needs more help.
Thanks in advance.
I just spoke to Tom, and his dad isn't doing to swell at the moment, He had a heart attack while they were performing his surgery on Monday and he has been struggling ever since. Over the past day or so he has slowly (very slowly) been improving but is certainly not out of the woods. We please ask you to project your happy and positive thoughts toward his father at this time, he will definately be gracious of the powerful energy that our mind can project, and as well heal with the support he deserves.
I'll keep you informed
Please send happy thoughts towards Tom's father, he is having surgery on Monday. We'll get a show out as soon as we can.
Jim Dupree: Marriage Enthusiast
Yup, he's getting married. I don't know if they are going to release the video for this on the podcast feed...but I'm betting on NO.
This is my public congratulations to Jenna and Jim...er Dan.
Please Proceed To The Next Window?
This is yet another example of the people in charge of companies, falling on their stupid, doughy faces.
Who in the hell do they expect to read this sign, really?
This could say any host of things...like,
"Ole! We Rotted Two Extra Widows!"
"Please Throw Weed To Extreme Minnows"
"Sleaze Pro Fed Bro Extended Swim Cow"
Anyone see anything else?
But seriously, what genius decided to put this sign up thinking that it actually had value? Customers just see a sign and know that the person who gives them the wrong order is obviously at the next window.
This sign could say, "Choke and Die" and no one could read it. They should just have a big, dumb, Looney Toons windshield sun-blocker that people used to use in their 1985 Tempos.
"Hey, was that Taz?"
"Just keep drivin' Beth, I want my fries hot!"
There are several stores that NEVER use that first window. In fact, I have been to several spots that do not use the first "speaker/microphone". They have a sign written on loose-leaf paper or a manila envelope, "Please drive to next speaker". Why do we have these initial fake-outs? Wallpaper the inside of those extra hubs in the "Drive Thru"(Don't get me started on the spelling of ''thru"). It's as if the building was designed for space battle. Like the more bubble domes jutting out from the sides of the buildings can be laser-gun turrets to fight of enemy warships.
Nerds are in charge of fast food restaurants. You'd think nerds could at least get the speaker to sound better.
My Dad's Sick...But He'll Win
My Dad is having heart issues.
This is why there was no show this week.
I have been trying to be around him as much as possible.
Laying in 3 different hospitals for 3 weeks, waiting for tests and doctors' opinions to align is not fun either. The problem is that my Dad's hospital is in London, Ontario, which is 2 hours away. So, the show will resume next week, as will my father's normal life after he finally gets some heart surgery done.
To lighten things up a bit, I have supplied this photo.
I knew my Dad would recover when I started seeing humourous things in the hospital. This is but one example.
I direct your attention to the procedure that the hospital calls a "diva".
It's the third one from the top. It apparantly takes 40 minutes to complete.
Is this just the waiting time for a woman who is whipping her hair around and making her entourage go get Twinkies and bottles water for her?
If a diva has major attitude with the receptionist, is she given a penalty (like in football) of 45 minutes (flat rate) until she curbs te attitude?
P.S. What the hell is a "fistulagram"? Sounds like something Shane needs, but wouldn't enjoy...much.
Love You Dad.
Tom and I were unable to hook up today and record our show.
We sorry, guess you'll actually have to listen to the loser sitting next to you on the bus eat his own gums. Ew!...yay....hobo's are awesome!
Tim Horton's has been the source of some ranting for me, and it continues to engage me in unexpected situations.
During the last visit, on the way to recording Episode 69, I was heading to pick up two coffees for Shane and I. Looking ahead of me, I saw something bright blue on the pavement. I knew immediately it was a five dollar bill.
I drove up, hopped out, grabbed my camera, and shot a photo from ground level. Luckily, I was being shielded by the truck while I took the photo. Truthfully, I did look around to see if someone had been killed in the distance, scattering money into the wind. There's not a whole lot around this coffee shop, so there could have been some nefarious happenings occurring in the field behind the lot.
I started thinking about the last time I found money.
I'm one of those people who walks to the money when I see it, and I step on it immediately. In case someone else sees it, I want to have 170 pounds resting in it when the sucker reaches to pick it up.
It's so lame that I (we) do this, because we know that this money might belong to someone else, and we will be out some free money.
I can't help it. Unless I see an oaf pull out his wallet and mishandle his cash with chubby fingers, watching it fall to the floor, and he doesn't notice, then that cash is mine. I'm not a thief, just a competitive money-grubber.
There's a difference.
Shane's a thief.
I'm only interested in stealing 35 minutes of your life every week.
If only I could find more listeners so easily...
Eating my cat
This pic should be horizontal, but it's way funnier vertical.
chameleon eyebrow fountain (69)
Topics Include: Tom found 5, Horsetrack Money, "Thanks for Ruining Everything.......", Cry-orhea, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Meat and Chemistry, NEW TOPIC: Money in your Shorts (or underwear)
parking haircut snowflake (68)
Topics Include: Meeting Tom...Boo, Losing an Hour, Facebook oops, The Poo Incident. WORDPLAY ANSWERS: HOBO: None, NEW TOPIC: Meat and Chemistry.
Oh bother...I have no words to describe this...
Tut, tut, it looks like rain.
Poor Shane, and his likeness to an infant "yellow" bear named after "number two".
I think you guys both eat honey by the handful out of a big jug too, right?
This is so funny!
Look at this special treat
I have no words to describe this!
hole hair kitten (67)
Topics Include: Fudgey-O, Cat-ster, Breast Feeding a Cat, Shane on You: My name is Mad to Namesayers, Hobo's Divided by 2, Piece of Shane's Thumb, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Monkey Wedding, NEW TOPIC: The long form of the word HOBO.
Rear-View Mirror Hangers
Okay, so, here are the results of the Rear-View-Mirror Stats I complied over the last two weeks.
Of the total 173 things I observed, this is how they stacked up:
Tree air freshener (A.F.) - 29
Maple leaf air freshener (A.F.) - 24
Necklaces/Beads - 18
Religious Trinkets - 17
Dream Catchers - 16
Fuzzy dice - 10
Hawaiian Lei - 8
Soccer ball in net - 8
Baby shoes - 4
Stuffed animal - 4
Flag - 4
Animal tail (only) - 3
Yankee Candle A.F.
Mini cowboy hat
Hula girl A.F.
Marilyn Monroe A.F.
Big bag of potpourri
Toronto Maple Leafs A.F.
7 Dwarves head (Sleepy)
Angel X-Mas ornament
Small metal rooster
Mini football helmets
wild hanging luggage (66)
Topics Include: Wild Sex, Rearview, Luggage and Bags, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Religion and Skateboarding, NEW WORDPLAY: Monkeys and Marriage.
boo hoo hoo (no new episode)
Sorry, some things came up and we couldn't get together.
Sorry Friends, There will be no episode this week. I have to go try out for Canadian Idol (I know they'll love the squeezebox)
Butter me up, Bagelmeister.
Do you see anything resembling toastiness?
I sure don't.
I ate this thing willingly, knowing I would be chomping into a soft buttery goo-ball that was far more solid and viscous than I wanted it to be.
If the damn bagel canâ€™t even get hot enough to melt butter, how crappy is your toaster?
What setting do you have it at? Tepid? The dough is barely warm. I almost bring myself to breathe hard on the thing just to heat the butter up a bit.
At least there wasnâ€™t a butter-skin covering the hole that I had to skim off before I ate it.
I will try my best not to complain about Tim Hortonâ€™s anymore, but look at this lactic disaster. I told you we werenâ€™t exaggerating.
Dream Catchers in Cars
If you look closely, you can see the wonderful dream-catcher hanging from the rear-view mirror. This was one of three cars I saw on that short drive, to the podcast recording, and I happened to have my camera ready. Enough already! I think natives should be able to claim your car on the spot, seize you from within it, leave you on the side of the road, and drive away, wearing huge head-dresses and shooting arrows at random cars on the way out.
How bizarre is it that we (in general) avoid any contact with our native people and their concerns, but we cannot escape the idea of having a ripped-off native symbol (tennis-racket-string, organized to look like a dyslexic spider web, with ANGELS dancing among the beads strung among the dyed-purple feathers) in our vehicles?
We must have this in the car, where we... dream? What? Dreaming in the car? Oh, wait, yeah, that's, ummm, STUPID! Nothing beats the idea of stealing a symbol from natives and adorning it with another spiritual-belief's symbolism (yeah, the angels)...that's just an extra rib-shot.
That said, I have begin an informal data-collection project based on the things that hang from rear-view mirrors.
So far, I have a very concrete list, that rarely varies, which seems to house every possible thing hanging from these mirrors.
I will report on some of these items here, in the next little while.
Look for updates.
As for now, I want to discuss one of the stranger things I see...
Hawaiian Lei Necklaces (apparently people win these at hot-body contests or a lame luau parties or from prom parties). I just don't get why so many people have plastic flower necklaces hanging from their mirror. Most of the time, they are hanging in cars of dudes. Dudes who wear mirrored (fluorescent) sunglasses, with gel-laden hair and personalized plates like, "HETERO". So, I'm thinking, if I tried to pull this off, I'd have the gay finger pointing my way all the time...like that commercial for Arby's when the logo for the meat-sheet-burger-joint hovers over the people thinking about Arby's...my car would have that purple Teletubby constantly hovering over my car...but it's okay for big raging jocks to hang luscious lei from their mirror. I don't get it. Maybe I'm jealous.
Jesus Mattress Naked (65)
Sorry about the audio, it's a bit distorted (shane can't stop effing with it) Topics Include: Dream Hummer, Skate or Died for Us, Bad Memory "Where did she go?", Naked Firemen, Croc Exchange, 80's Tom, WORDPLAY ANSWERS- People Who Shouldn't do Yoga, NEW TOPIC: Religion and Skateboarding.…
funnyfunny funnyfunny yepyepyep
Topics Include: Woman at the Dentist, Yo-garbage, Shane on you: Idiot Drivers! (or maybe I'm the idiot), TMNT Movie?, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Old Newspaper Delivery People, NEW TOPIC: Terms for people that should NOT be doing yoga.
Pipe Down Chuckles (63)
Topics Include: None, sorry, will post topics later
Oreo at 22
Just a quick post, Tom posted the pic of me strangling my cat Oreo, Here is a recent pic of the same cat.
I can't believe she's as old as she is.
Due to Technical difficulties the ep wont be posted till Monday sometime.
oo oo (said kinda like uh oh)
Shane Chokes Oreo in Purple Silk Shirt
Here's the other pic needed to enjoy our Anal-versary show.
Shane pushing Oreo toward the fire 16 years before this cat has even thought of "checking out".
Shane steered clear of the fire though, because that silk would light up faster than a 1970s Halloween costume.
1yr. Anal-versary (62)
1 YEAR ANAL-VERSARY!
Topics Include: Shane's probe, M&maries, "It's kinda drafty, The drip, Stangling Oreo. NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: Boob Chocolate or Candy.
This is me in my Hobo-Neck-Scarf...so aptly named by Shane.
He's jealous of the fashion craze I've begun.
I am encouraging hipsters to grow beards, their hair, and wear a broken down toque as a neck warmer/scarf. In fact, there are already a few copycats at Phog Lounge in Windsor.
Shane has been nice enough to even tell me that my hair, on the sides, looks like pubic hair. What are friends for? That might be the worst thing anyone has ever said about my appearance, and it came from my best pal.
Love you too...a-hole.
It started on Spadina Street in Toronto with my wife. We went into a store and bought two toques for two bucks. Upon walking out the door, I dug into the bag and pulled out a new version of the toque. It had NO pom-poms on it, and it had come completely unravelled on the top, where it should be sewn shut with pom-poms.
I was incensed! I spent a dollar! What is the value of a dollar anymore! My wife, Jhoan rolls her eyes looking at me. "Bring it back then, don't complain," she said...or something like that. This coming from the person who has since learned NEVER to buy "gadgets" from dollar stores, after we bought a can opener that couldn't have helped open a can if they were tied together and shot out of a canon against an iron wall.
Dollar stuff, for the most part is total trash.
This toque-turned-neck-scarf is how you pull the old switcheroo on the bastards taking advantage of our thrifty, cheap asses.
At that moment, in the summer, in Toronto, I told Jhoan, "This is going to be a neck warmer," which she started to laugh at, "and I'm not kidding! This thing is going to be the BEST neck warmer ever! Just to spite this store!"
And, voila! It has been so faithful and ugly at the same time, that I am getting people to follow in my footsteps. "I feel weird without it on now," said one follower, "because it's like being hugged the whole time it's on, and when it's off, you're cold."
That's right. Gaze upon my mangled woolen nightmare. I love it.
We might even start selling them...…
balls balls balls (61)
Topics Include: Just balls!!, just kidding!, Car Balls, He must have been Singa-poor, That guy has Balls, Shane and Tom hate Walky Talky Phones, Nursing Homes. WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Meet Cookies
egg_cookies_head down (60)
Topics Include: Chicken in the Egg, Beef Cookies, Oh my god pic!(I don't know how else to name it), Shane on You" Stickers on Products, "Hope He Doesn't See Me.
Yes we did sell out...I'm trying a little experiment, I've added a video of our show but its not video, just audio with a still image on youtube. Just trying to get the word out. Here's the link if you want to send it to some friends, it's the stolen car bit from the latest show.
Also, when you hear us talking about the dumb barbershop quartet hats, the image above is what we're talking about.
New Year, New Beginnings
The image above is of one of many birds who died at or near the hands of one Shane Potvin. This little guy, who looks like he's 100 in bird years, was clinging onto this branch like a 14-year-old Olympic gymnast. Nothing Shane could do would provoke this beast to let go.
How can a bird, covered in feathers, have wrinkles? Am I nuts or does he look wrinkly?
Shane was shaking the branches of the tree in my backyard like a grizzly bear trying to release fruit, but this bird wouldn't budge! Wouldn't budgy!! Yeeeaaahaaaaa!
This now-dead bird reminds me of how fleeting our hollow-boned little flightless lives are, and how much we should live each day. I want to send you all the best wishes, on behalf of Shane and myself, to have an enriched New Year. Send a note to that person who made a difference in your week. Get in touch with family more often. Make more of your days than you have in years passed.
Don't end up being a tired old pigeon grasping onto your bedpan while the orderlies try to shake you off of the ceiling fan.
Bye Bye Birdie.
Happy New Year
Tom I just read this message and practically crapped my drawers in laughter, eff that was funny, I wanted to eat that bird so bad!!!.
Here is my note to the person who has touched my life....not touched me, my life.
Tom (awwwww!!) thank you so much for being such a wonderful inspiration in the world of me, I have had a complete blast this year doing the show, and I feel blessed, you are truly the funniest person I know, and bring out the funniest in me. Thanks buddy.
As for the rest of you.....Happy New Year and thank you.
shane (the bird eater)
Topics Include: Bye Bye Car, A Nice Piece of Gas, Needle in Shane's Head,
Ordering on the Fly WORDPLAY: Smoking while running. NEW TOPIC: Charcoal Feet. BONUS: Tom and Shane exchange presents.
Merry Today! (for those who celebrate today)
Just picture this message as a sign out in front of our e-store.
shane and tom…
After venting my dislike for all things insincere around the holidays, I am beginning to feel much more vibrant toward the 25th.
I finally wrapped almost all of my gifts, which has helped buoy my spirits.
The weather in Windsor is wet and not white. No snow.
The temperature has been more like the breath of a farty, exhausted mall-Santa. The lack of snow has been destroying my festive mood.
AndyCast, The Zedcast, Canadian Podcast Buffet, are a few of the podcasts who put out show with the intention of lightening the end of this month, and it was well received by many listeners, including myself. The Rogic crew organized a sing-along skit that made a pleasant dent in my X-Mas humbugging. Barry from Barrie, The Scarborough Dude, and Dave (Two Boobs and a Baby) sent e-cards too...what a great bunch.
With this post, being the only real holiday positivity you'll hear from me, I AM happy to have something small to give Shane for Christmas. He couldn't guess what it is if he tried. Neither could you. But in its simplicity, is its perfection. After he gets it, I'll post images of the items I gifted.
Hey Dump! Shane! If you're reading this, DO NOT GO TO THE DOLLAR STORE! If you show up at my house during the holiday with a sewing kit, sandcastle pails, plastic flowers, a plastic can opener, a box of combs, or a multi-pack of "Goosy Fruit" (Juicy Fruit knock-off gum), I will make you watch me sew a flag for my miniature flower-covered sandcastle, while I comb my hair endlessly, opening cans of beets which I will eat at the same time as my "Goosy Fruit Gum". What I'm saying is, "Shane, I hope you like your gifts."
Merry Christmas everyone.
Laugh a lot.
Dave of Two Boobs send a Gyro X-Mas Card!
Dave is moving to Nashville.
He's taking his family too.
But before he goes, he needs to tie up some loose ends, like sending us this e-card that made my stomach rumble the moment I got it. My feet started to sweat as I re-imagined perfectly carved slices of gyro meat being used as shoe insoles.
It is just...so...brown!
He obviously wanted to share in Squeezebox's love for highly-compacted-lamb's meat. He went one further and jammed it all into a bowl.
I couldn't NOT show this off.
Hope you're all busy with our Wordplay for the next show: smoking while exercising (running).
Topics Include: Tom doesn't greet the Seasons Greetings, Shane on You: smoking while riding a bike, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: smoking during excercise.
They like me, they really like me!
Well, I have been lucky enough to be chosen as the winner in a draw for a - Behringer Ultra-Voice Digital VX2496 Microphone PreampThis is pretty awesome.
It came as a surprise, because I nominated Shane for this prize on the Canadian Podcast Buffet last week. If you nominated a podcaster on canadapodcasts.ca, you yourself were entered into a random draw for a second Behringer.
Barry from Barrie Podshow was the winner of the nominated podcasters, and I was the winner of the Horseshow Up My Butt draw.
This thing apparantly can do a bunch of great stuff, and I look forward to using it with Shane on future shows and on future ideas.
If I can convince my wife, Jhoan, to do a show with me, this little beauty will be the gateway mechanism.
Thanks Mark and Bob at Canadian Podcast Buffet and special thanks to The National Arts Centre which I believe is located in Ottawa. These Ottawans are responsible for the giveaway in the first place.
If you're a sound-tech nerd, read the following:
"The Behringer Ultra-Voice Digital VX2496 is a high-quality mic preamp and voice processor that features an AES/EBU output (digital output up to 24 bit/96 kHz), opto compressor, dynamic enhancer, expander, de-esser and tube simulation. If you are a recording musician, home/project studio owner, or work primarily in the digital domain and need to record vocals into a digital system, this is your machine. Key features include a 24-bit/96 kHz AES/EBU output with selectable sampling rates or external clocking. The Ultra-Voice has a discrete ULN mic/line input stage with soft mute +48V phantom power. Authentic tube emulation circuitry provides for typical tube and tape saturation sounds, and there is a true RMS expander for smooth noise reduction. An opto-compressor provides inaudible dynamic control and creative signal processing options. A voice-optimized equalizer was specially designed for voice enhancement."
My alarm went off this morning, and by alarm I mean the (hack, hack, hack, spit up) sound of Oreo in my door way leaving me a gift to step in first thing in the morning (bare foot). What a wonderful start to my day!. Actually, I tried something new today, get up before the alarm, and actually do something other then, 1: Alarm 2: Hit Alarm 3: Shower (don't worry, for the sake of this email, I wear all my clothes when I'm showering...ew) 4: Feed Cat, and 5: Leave apartment (almost forgot 6, powder my shoes, so at the end of the day my feet don't smell like feet simmered in feet). Today, I took my time, Did my appropriate neck stretches (see (hear) episode cat_luhluhluh_ball) ate something other then shower water....mmmm, hard water in my stomach is so good.....especialy the flakes of metal) plus had time to wash the fork and knife I used last night, so now all my dishes are done!. To be honest I have no idea why I found it so important to relay this info, but it was a treat and it feels so much better to get to work and not have my ticker ticking at 100 ticks a minute (or 60 ticks). Oh yeah, listen to some music too, something mellow...I was listening to a band called Album Leaf, very melodic, good morning music. tack this up as my first entry shane…
Timmy's or Bust
We can't always drink beer with floating plastic boats in them!
We had a lovely comment from "That Guy" asking why, if Tim Horton's is so crappy, do we go so often?
Here's the answer. I love to hate things.
I love to get what I want and need (caffeine) while getting piss-poor service that I can use on our podcast.
Tim Horton's provides this opportunity during every visit.
Bad bagel-karma, anti-physics/anti-gravity coffee cups, term-obsessed automatons (not "vanilla cappucino" but "French vanilla" screw you very much), and those hideous beige ass-deterrents all in one place and you're asking why I go there? Are you slow? How could I NOT go there.
I bet you're the kind of "higher being" who doesn't slow down at traffic accidents too.
Back to those beige pants...those things are so bad, the world's pro-ass lobby is almost forced to run buttock promotional spots to reverse the damage done to us poor saps who've been unlucky enough to see under that Tim Horton's counter-top/force-field.
Why do we go there so much? Sheesh! Get a clue!
I'm surprised I haven't tried to move in! Who wouldn't want coffee every morning, the smell of fat coating the walls 24/7, and sharing a bathroom with more homeless people than a Skid Row Porta-Pottie.
The more that they get wrong, the more my love strengthens for them.
Their colours are brown and red! The two worst coloured fluids that leave the human body. They have it so wrong, it's right.
Things moving swimmingly...
With some minutes making themselves available in the late evening, early morning, we will be trying to post a few more bits and pieces, and especially photos to our lovely website.
If you have any ideas for things you'd like to see posted on this site, let us know! Yes, say something! Not to yourself you big, dumb idiot. In our comments section!
Above, I have posted a shot of Shane and Dan Misener during Dan's visit last week. It was painful in two ways. It hurt to say goodbye, and it hurt that spot on the back of my skull...you know the spot where it hurts when you laugh too hard?
Misener is a constant reminder of the creative spirit, and he brought the most wicked and insane out of us during his hiccup of a visit.
Oh, and, "Hi Shane! Looks like I started posting blog stuff! Awesome! Thanks for letting me contribute to the website! Yeeeaaa haaa ha haaa!"
Cha cha cha
Topics Include: Oreo nursing herself, Issues with Tim Horton, Cat scan, Breathing on your balls. WORDPLAY: Livestock Fuel
rabbit, engine, walks away (56)
Topics Include: He Killed a Rabbit with a Birdie, Pig-saust, Awkward Conversation Endings, WORDPLAY: Meat Pads NEW TOPIC: Fuel made from Livestock parts.
Topics Include: Coffee Drip, Chicken Pads, 4 Patties, RL, Rock on dude!, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Butter Deoderant NEW TOPIC: Meat Pad
Sorry about the end, the music is way too loud. We're idiots
tuna, zebra, sock (SAT54)
Topics Include: Shane's Dream: Tuna-J, An interview with Zebra Pants, Mongolian Stuffed Marmot Grill, Beige Socks. WORDPLAY: Tequila and Milk, NEW TOPIC: Butter Deoderant
Shane and Tom are Rogic-ers!
We are proud to announce that we have become a new member of the Rogic Podcast Conglomerate family. Tom and I were birthed through the "portal" and are doing just fine (once we clean the goo off of us and cut the cord, and by cord I don't mean mic cord) we will be ready to enjoy our new life under the caring eye of Rogic. Check our site out at www.rogic.com to sample all the other fine shows.
Nothing will change here, and you'll still be able to access everything as usual.
Hee hee yeahhhhhhhhh!
shane and tom
"One of the funniest episodes so far!"- Squeezebox listener
Topics Include: Halloweird , Tom's awkward Dr. Encounter, Parents are not nuts over peanuts. WORDPLAY TOPIC: Peanut related demise…
Topics Include: Uh oh!, Your Dad might be angry, Inflatable Buildings, Shane hurt his neck, Gross Doctors Offices, PRNDL, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Old People Pick up Artists (or something like that).
Topics Include: Tom sweats the bed, New streamlined format, Dude pissed on my shoe, Almost dying, Crap in a bucket, I smell burnt toas............, Big Tipper!!, Kids laugh at old guys unit. WORDPLAY: Drowning Cats NEW TOPIC: Old people picking up old people.
Topics Include: Round Boy and his Meat Truck, A veritable porn-ucopia, Chubby Dead Bunny, Tom's show and Tell
To our listeners: Tom and I are trying to get a show out to you as soon as possible, I know you're saying "But Shane put out that wonderful episode, showing off his unique ability jam it out on the squeezy-machine, and I am so satisfied with that".........Um, no you're not!. We have been uncharacteristicly busy the last two weeks and by some act of god (small 'g') we have not been able to hook up and produce our show. We are trying and the material is still building. Keep your ears peeled. We'll be back soon.
We are so in like with you....and yes, in an awkward way!
shane and tom
No new show today, except for this wicked tune.
Tom drowndid Shane in a bucket of water, Shane WILL be resesitated (eww, not by Tom) in the next couple of days. Here is a short limerick written by Shane to tide you over, or not. Feel free to not listen!
Topics to Come: I think there was something about cats?
Topics Include: CBC Interview, Blackberries are dumb, Suckling on your own tit, Eating Kleenex,Ugly Picketers, Shane's Jogging Suits, Breaking the Toilet Seat.
WORDPLAY TOPIC: Ugly Picketers
On Wednesday, September 6th Shelagh Rogers interviewed myself (Shane), Tim from "Twisted Wrist Podcast" and Valerie from "Description Podcast" about our podcasts. This is the Radio version of the show ( about 30 minutes) but we continued off air for another 30 minutes which was put in the CBC's Sounds like Canada -The Digital Extra Podcast
:You can subscribe for that in itunes at itpc://www.cbc.ca/podcasting/includes/slc.xml
:or download the file directly from http://www.cbc.ca/soundslikecanada/podcast.html
CBC Radio Interview Today!!!
Morning!, I ,(Shane) will be interviewed by Shelagh Rogers today on CBC radio (National) So if you living in this fine land of ours, take a listen at 11:30am (it's on at 11:30am in every timezone). We are one of 3 podcasts that they will the interviewing. If you miss it don't worry, I will get a copy.
Topics Include: Bits of Shane's life "I think I wet the bed?", Tom's dog has stinky feet, Saying Wer-ids Wrong, A gift of Toe nails, WORD PLAY: Poor Taste Pet Store Slogans, No new Word play this week, we want you to send in suggestions on stories to tell.
Topics Include: Kiss you Bliss, Tom's Forced Laugh, What a CROC, Niagra Falls, B-ad's, American Etiquette in Canada, WORD PLAY: Flatulence Hot Tub, WORDPLAY TOPIC: Poor Taste Ad Slogans for a Pet Store.…
Topics Include: Bird in Tom's Backyard, Eating Baby Food, The C-Bomb, Bumpernuts.com, Dutchtub.com, MMM..Doggy Treats
Topics Include: Jim Dupree: Enthusiast...DONE!, Zee and Zed...DONE, Chuckn' Movie Signs, More Bird Incidents, Owl-kebab, He says "You have a great accent......" she says "I can't hear you", Nylons are Ew, WORDPLAY : Jellyfish Hotdog, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: Recycling Old People.
Topics Include: Shane's Vacation, Bird Comment by Angela Misri, The Tea Bag Incident, Hair of the Dog Bowl, This Salad Bugs Me, "Shane on You": I Hate When Dogs Stay at the End of Their Leash, Why do you have to put popsicles up to the light?, Jelly Fish Hot Dog, WORD PLAY ANSWERS: Ass Grabbin' Cities. WORD PLAY TOPIC: Jelly Fish Hot Dog, Comment by Ross from Zee and Zed.
Topics Include: Shane's taking a week off, Who is Wayne Gretzky,
The Bird Incident, Miss-sized sandles, Humming Bird Fuel, "Detroit", The Unstick, WORDPLAY: Dog ball currency, NEW TOPIC: Ass grabbing city names.
Topics Include: Ghetto Wheelbarrel, Tom caught shaving his......, Dream Magicians suck, Winning Roachclips, Missing a Nut, Shane's Second Life.
WORDPLAY: Teeth with skin, NEW TOPIC:Dog ball currency
Sorry, so sorry, Episode 40 will be uploaded Monday night due to technical difficulties......
We're in like with you
shane and tom…
Topics Include: Shanes new car, Meeting the Kongshow, Passing Gretzky, We hate honking, Motor oil in your ear, colon clense, my yoga mat-tress, sewer vapor, WORDPLAY: Deep frying your hand.
Topics Include: Our trip to Podcasters Across Borders, Tom's Sicky, Bathroom Laughroom, Man Boobs, My Girlfriend Blew my Ball Joint, Your Breasts look Big, Doctors are dumb. WORDPLAY: Deepfrying your hand
Show notes to come! Sorry, at Podcasters Across Borders all weekend!…
Topics Include: We don't talk, Guerilla Marketing, Inappropriate Gym Attire, Jeans skiing, A Moment with our Listener, You're in the Urinal, Random Articles of Clothes on the Road, Batman Cookie, Hung like a......,
Asian Bomb, WORDPLAY: Tom's nose hair
Topics Include: Bye Bye awkward goodbyers, Tom's out grown nose hair, The house of the Lord, Peas behind the fridge, Magical land, Oreo's stealth craps, Shane cries, Tom's dogs floor diaper, Turds on turds, A podcaster without a mp3 player?, Glow in the dark ass, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: hot podcasting, WORD PLAY TOPIC: Rogue nose hair.
Topics Include: SPECIAL GUESTS: Mark and Bob from the Canadian Podcast Buffet (hang out for the majority of the show),The easy way works!!, Shitting in the snow, Shane has no shame, Shane gets sued for $200,000, Desert boots, WORD PLAY ANSWERS: Piss on laundry, WORD PLAY TOPIC: Hot Podcasting.
Topics Include: After school special, My new newt, Tom's odd named dogs with black tackle, OOPS! I pissed on his laundry and OOPS! I puked on a dudes ass, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Hamster death, NEW WORDPLAY TOPIC: Peeing on laundry
This is episode 32 but I was screwing around with Audacity and increased the speed of it and Oh my god!!! I've been pissing my pants! I've posted it for fun. Hope you like it!
Topics Include: We're going to one LONGER episode per week, Oh my god I killed Thumper!, MMMM.. My Drain smells like Thanksgiving, Poundcake, Squeezebox T-shirts, Shane's pedicure, Apartment with a theatre, Hair art, WORD PLAY ANSWERS: Other names for getting hemorrhoids in Mexico, NEXT TOPIC: Hamster Homicide
A Yummier Squeezebox pie!
New Format: We will be going down to one episode per week but they will be a bit longer (about 45-50 minutes). The show will be posted on Sunday night so you can enjoy a tasty helping of Squeezebox pie during your crappy Monday mornings. YUMMERS!!!!
Topics Include: Soda Mystic, TheGallery of Regretable Foods, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking, Tom's Interesting Mail, The Bladder Manager, WORDPLAY ANSWERS: Dirt Belt
A little Hiatus
Sorry friends, Tom and I were not able to hook up this week by some strange act of "Divine Castervention". We will not be posting a new episode until Friday (May 12th) and then again next Friday (May 19th). If there are any issues with this you can call our toll free number at (nope.... don't have a toll free number) I guess you'll have to take a pic of your face with a really upset look on it and email it to us (we'll get the severity that way).
shane and tom
Topics Include: Can you give me a jump?, Passing out on the can in Cancun, WORD PLAY TOPIC: Getting hemorrhoids in Mexico.
Add on to - ep.29 -
Because I was in such a hurry last night uploading Ep.29 I forgot add a mp3 clip from Gabe. I will repost the show tonight.....sorry about that, you can punch me in the neck. Here is the comment if you want to hear it. (You'll have to mentally insert into our show....it's a new game were gonna do) No, not really, I'm still a dum dum
Topics Include: Someone actually listened to all of our shows (at once!), Breaking into the Beer Store with a pick axe, Silence, How much is two bits?, I hate Comic Sans, WORD PLAY ANSWERS: Skanky hostess
Topics Include: Word Play responses, Shane is a skyper, Knock-Knock!, WORD PLAY TOPIC: Dirt Belt, Falling off a building, Rambo Blew up my gas station, Can I borrow a cup of milk, Hot dog straw.
Topics Include: MMMMM..Sausages, Shaved S-mooth, Masterpieces in the Home, WORD PLAY: One big toe names.
Topics Include: New site coming, Shane doesn't care, Frydaddy, Our Purple Silk Shirts, Old colognes, myherritage.com, WORD PLAY TOPIC(answers come next week): Young hostesses.
Our proposed new shirts
Topics Include: Cat crap, Our new tshirts!!, Eating Ketchup, Fun with dumb Knock-Knocks, Shane the clencher and Shane the dart king, WORD PLAY: One long hair on neck and the juice that comes out of the mustard container before the mustard.
Topics Include: A cup of coffee insight, A tasteless Easter commercial, The Welsh flag (I'm good thanks!) WORD PLAY TOPIC: What's the name of a hand or foot with one big digit?
Topics Include: Hair washed by a dude, retrojunk.com, WORD PLAY: Mixed dog names.
Topics Include: Podcasts we've met, Tom M.C's a wedding, PODCASTERS ACROSS BORDERS, Shane's back is up about people who back up into parking spaces, One big toenail
Topics Include: I seem to have lost my topics, have you seen them?.........just listen to the podcast, for the love of Pete!
Topics Include: Our Article in The Windsor Star, My old baby (1989 Plymouth Horizon aka Cordelia), Crack whore at 7-11, White Russian with Breast Milk, We made 25 bucks!!, Porqupines and Beavers.
Podcasts Where the whole world can hear you talk Windsorâ€™s newest talk radio program canâ€™t be found anywhere on the radio dial â€” and thatâ€™s very much working in its favour. Itâ€™s hard to imagine a mainstream station giving air time to two amateurs whose idea of a show involves scribbling a word or two on a scrap of paper and then just winging it when the on-air light goes on. But, as it is for other similar podcasts, that spontaneous, uncensored spirit is the secret behind the growing success of Shane and Tomâ€™s Squeeze Box, an online talk show produced by Windsorites Shane Potvin and Tom Lucier, who sometimes writes for this page. â€œEssentially, it was a chance for me to run into my friend Shane and actually be able to have the conversations we used to have before we ran out of time,? Lucier said of the show. â€œSo, we basically behave the way we would if we were out with our other friends, except we have microphones.? The guys just completed their 19th episode and recently clocked in their 1,000th hit on their website shaneandtom.libsyn.com Thatâ€™s quite the milestone considering their first show was posted barely two months ago. â€œThe numbers are going up so itâ€™s really, really exciting to see that,? said Potvin, a 28-year-old digital art director. The name Squeeze Box spun out of the first episode when Potvin picked up a toy accordion and began to play it as the opening theme song. Usually what follows is about 25 minutes to an hour of lighthearted, unscripted banter between the two friends on topics ranging from Potvinâ€™s comedic childhood misadventures to Lucierâ€™s notoriously entertaining letters of complaints to companies whose products failed him. Good chemistry â€œWe always laugh and just kind of play off each other and weâ€™re pretty good at that, I think,? Potvin said. Citizen broadcasting, while relatively new to Windsor, is huge in the United States, where an ex-MTV veejay helped develop a program that made the digital audio files compatible with MP3 players like the iPod. But listeners donâ€™t need a portable player to tune in, as Windows Media Player and other similar programs will do the trick. New shows are mushrooming daily as more people are attracted to the appeal of producing raw radio-like programs for the worldwide Internet audience through minimal cost and effort. â€œItâ€™s just something we get together, we have fun,? said the singlenamed Barry, who until October, was running what was potentially Windsorâ€™s first podcast, Digital Anarchy Radio. â€œItâ€™s just something for us to kill time, do something different.? email@example.com or call 255-5529…
Topics Include: Found Picture, The Kooky lady at Tom's Bar, Shane and Tom's Mountain Goat Hunt, Eating Balls, What Do Ya Know…
Topics Include: Our CRAZY photo shoot, KO'd by a boxing videogame, Bluehair Chalet, Tom wins a Kong Show T'shirt…
Topics Include: Comment Response Ping Pong, Tom's Fridgidare complaint letter, Shane's Thai scare.…
Topics Include: Our Toilet Episode!. Padded, High, On a TV tray, you name it. Grab a newspaper and join us.…
Topics Include: Adding "Hole" to any word makes it funny, Drinking coffee at the gym, Exploding Poo, Shane's cousin is in Brokeback Mountain, Where you listeners are from.…
Topics Include: Shane's Bizzaro head problems, Tom almost gets cut by a zero, Buying a belly shirt off a dude, Accupuncture is awesome, Tom wins a Kong Show shirt.…
Topics Include: Found stuff: 1988 Womens Basketball team, SWEET HAIR!, Beer Store-ies: Oh my god, he got hit by his own car!!, Tom's get sick diet…
Topics Include: Our Listeners are great!, Dan Misner's one word impressions, Weighted Tea Bags....don't steal my invention, Tom needs help to Pee.…
Topics Include: Bits of Shanes life:Caught in the fire with no pants, Bob Costes..isisis brilliant olympic coverage, The last supper: after dinner mints…
Topics Include: Cookies!!!, Shane hates Dutchie donuts, Bugs in Tom's Raisin Bran, LOL is VL(Very Lame)…
Topics Include: Clipping you nails in public....yuk!, Shane and Tom enjoy meat and Halls.…
Topics Include: Our Impressions, Pop Rocks ROCK!, Chuck Norris, Podcast Review: The Faceless Podcast, Tom shaves his beard, The lame super bowl, WUNDERBAR!!!…
Topics Include: "Bits of Shane's Life":Kicked in the gut and some pee came out, Tom "Making a Difference" with the Angst, Grapes with seeds (Bad), What is the deal with faxing these days.…
Topics Include: Yeah!!! Sesame Snaps, Forrest Gump with Down Syndrome.…
Topics Include: Apples tricky video cable trick, Podcast review: Counting the Numbers.…
Topics Include: Turret Light, My Large-Regular Coffee, Our Friends at the Kong Show.…
Topics Include: Dream Catchers in cars, Naked in gym hot tubs (ew!!)…
Topics Include: Scientific America in Walmart, Hostel about Hostel, The Shack (Radioshack), "Le Show" (I will eat my microphone), Butter on my iPod, Jim Dupree.…
shane and tom
Topics include: Dinner at DQ, Treat-zza Pizza, Donatelo the overweight ninja turtle, Elk hanging out in Montana, Shane's heaving cat.…
Shane and Tom's Squeezebox
Join this weekly unique and sometimes inappropriate show between two friends Shane and Tom. Listen and laugh with them while they share their lives with you from an odd perspective.