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Tekdiff/Teller 3/5/13 - Undertow
New split episode of Tekdiff and the Storyteller podcast. An odd cocktail of material which will occur when ideas become jagged and routine fails. When in doubt, make something artsy. With new original music and a continuation of the Town of Stories plot. I like the results, but listener patience is advised...
…Update! 1-6-10
I'm gonna be interviewed! On Behind the Mike!
You can call and harass me on air!
Behind The Mike Presents..
Teknikal Diffikulties
Sunday January 10, 2010 - 8-10PM Eastern
http://www.facebook.com/l/ab8dc;www.BehindTheMike.info
http://www.facebook.com/l/ab8dc;www.WBTM.info
Call in LIVE (866) 417-4359
SUNDAY Jan 10th 8PM EST!…
Halloween is candy night.
This is important. This is crucial. This is the truth about Halloween.
Give Kids Candy. Period.
This is not a night about your frigging social, religious, moral, dental, or nutritional agenda.
It is about kids dressing up in crazy costumes (something they cannot do normally, and look forward to all year, frankly), and going door-to-door, in the hopes of getting a bagful of delicious candy. Not glow-sticks, toothbrushes, heath food, tracts, or election campaign literature.
Candy, motherfucker, CANDY.
And if you are one of those people who turn off the lights to discourage the little pagans for religious purposes, when you know full well there are hopeful children looking for fun and the kindness of their neighbors, fuck you. You're a disgrace to your bloodline.
Halloween candy. Learn it. Live it.
Pass it on.
You're welcome.
…
Even the failboat has left me on the dock...
Okay. Construction. Roofers on the roof outside my window and my wife was on vacation. All adding up to a no productivity week...
I'm sorry. No show this time.
HOWEVER: as of this coming week, the street is finished, Sue goes back to work, the roommate (Prof BX) is going to Miami to start a new job, and I have ZERO distractions from then on...YAYAYAYAY!
So! New Account episode for the 26th and a the Halloween special on the 31st, and no more schedule mishaps til the end of the Year!
Oh crap, thats soon isn't it... cripes.
…
Holy Fucking Ouch
Okay. It's over.
Ow.
Why, for the love of everything fucking holy do people willingly subject themselves to the torture of reconstructive surgery?
This morning, I checked under the bandage I was given after the surgery to discover a gaping, raw, dime-sized quarter-inch deep hole in my face. There are pictures and they will be on my website soon, and they are AWESOME GROSS!
Anyway, I was highly skeptical that anyone was going to be able to simply suture something that huge shut, but I headed over to the plastic surgeon anyway, paid my $15 co-pay and went in for the re-construction.
The surgeon shot me up with what could only be described as the most painful anesthetic administration I'd ever experienced, and then he set to re-constructing the wound.
I'll make it quick; he did it.
My kisser has a long series of stitches where there was once a divot, and it's currently crusted in black sticky blood.
Lovely, but at least I'll look like I haven't been shot.
On the down side, it feels like my entire face is being dragged with wires into my upper lip region now.
And it hurts.
Not as much as it did a few hours ago, mind you, but it still fucking hurts.
It feels tight and if I eat, drink, smile or talk too much, I run the risk of bleeding a bit.
Anyway, the stitches will come out in a week and hopefully my right upper-lip won't be stuck in a permanent snarl.
All-in-all it was the most pain-filled $15 I've ever spent.
-Cayenne
…
Freedom 08
For the benefit of those who don't follow the Tekdiff twitter feed, the surgery was a rousing (if by rousing you mean kinda gross but effective) success! I'm free FREE, of cancer of the mush. I went in early, got my kisser numbed within an inch of it's pugly life and then a skilled surgeon carved out those godamned undisciplined cells. They even cauterized the heavily bleeding vessels with some kind of electric tweezer device, filling my nostrils with the acrid odor of sparks and sizzled blood. Mmmm-MM!
Anyway, I'm done with the removal part, now I just regulate the pain until I see the plastic surgeon tomorrow so's he can stitch up the hole next to my nose. More come the morn!
-Cayenne
P.S. Ow!
…
The Rumbling
So, anyway, I've been intertube free for a day, as my ISP had some sort of meltdown. It was interesting to have a go at life without the option of distracting myself at a whim, even if just for a day. I could get to like it.. or not.
Tomorrow is the cancer surgery day. I get up at 'fuck off' o'clock, to get hunks of my face carved off.
Yay, me.
In addition, the construction devils are pouring concrete forms to replace the street's missing driveway entrances, so I can't park near my house for the weekend. And there's the noise.
Sigh.
Anyway, I'll be twittering my surgery recovery, so if you'd like to follow, go to:
www.twitter.com
and look for 'tekdiff' and subscribe!
And join the pain.
…
Second Wind
"So. Can I have another go?"
"At what?"
"Life."
"You don't like this one?"
"S'okay. Just not what I thought It'd be."
"And that's bad?"
"No. Yes. It's just...knowing what I know, if I could go back, I'd fix so many things. I'd get so much right."
"If I said you could have another go, just like you asked, but it'd cost you at least half your lifespan, would you take it anyway?"
"Yes."
"Well, better get started then."
…
MAKE IT STOP... make the madness stop...
Oh god... the noise...
Okay, now then. They've been resurfacing the road out front for about 7 hours a day now.
Since Monday.
Argh.
I think I've snapped a bit. The noise brings insanity. I see visions of broken roads and cyclopean hazard cones...
Anyway, the thing is, there's no show this week because of the DAMN NOISE. So I'll be working this weekend preparing for next week's show. Which I hope to have done before Thursday when the face surgery happens.
I'm sorry if that plan falls through as well, as they clearly aren't done with their infernal machinations out front. I never knew a simple steamroller could be so... horribly... horribly... loud...
I've seen it...heard it... I've watched the very foundations of my home tremble... Just as in the book...
Alhazred knew... They must have had road work back then... Donkey, and mules, probably, but still...
I can see them now.. GOD! in their orange vests and yellow plastic helmets! They're coming!
Yog-Sothoth save me! The bulldozers! The blasphemous backhoes! The shreiking engines!
The window! The window!
Will somebody close that frigging window, already! Jeez, I can't hear myself typing over here!
-Cayenne Chris Conroy,
September, 26th, 2008
At The Roadway of Madness
…
The needle is on 'E'...
Too tired, too depressed, too much noise, too busy, too, too much... What I'm saying is, no new show this week I'm afraid. The construction noise has beat my nerves to a pulp, and my inner Happycat is all out of happy right now. The idea of even trying to mush together a new tekdiff, let alone a new Account just seems like an insurmountable task at the moment. So all apologies folks, I'll try to have a new show on the week of the 22nd.…
Ouchy mode
For the benefit of those of you who don't read the forum page (tekdiff.freeforums.org) here's the update. I went to a sci-fi con last weekend and had a bit of an emotional breakdown (lifelong problems with social and personal anxiety coming to call). Nothing too catastrophic, but I realized I need help if I want to enjoy the remainder of my life. So, I scheduled a meeting with my doctor to set me up with a therapist. Anyway, I needed a week off, and I took it. There will be a new Tekdiff this coming Friday, so don't fret now. And, in case you were wondering, the con was actually a lot of fun. Apart from the crying, freak-out thing I mean. Sorry again.…
A slight change of plans!
So anyway, I decided to postpone the schedule change for two weeks. Here's the deal; I will be posting 2 short episodes next week, including the conclusion of the Account (or rather, it's first story arc). The following week I'll be taking off, for my 40th birthday and the last full week of June will be the next Tekdiff episode. Then in July I'll begin the next Account Arc. All will become clear. I swear...…
Important Announcement: The return of the Schedule...
Okay, the consensus is in and I'm returning to a Friday release schedule this week. Here's how it'll go: New Account starting on the 6th, new Tekdiff the following week and alternating thereafter. The free form thing was an interesting failure. It started off okay, but the overall quality of the comedy show has dipped (plummeted, actually) and I find it super-hard to first get a head of steam, record, stop, and then shift gears to a different style of episode all in a five day period. Besides, I'm useless on Mondays and so I end up rushing to get something out on Tues/Wed and I get sloppy. Then I need to get a second episode going on Thurs/fri, blah, blah blah...it all feels a bit slap-dash of late. And this past show, while not what I'd call bad, wasn't particularly good either. And if i don't feel proud of my shows then there's no point. I was supposed to be getting better, and It's not working out that way. Also there have been complaints about the shortness of the new episodes not creating a proper flow like before, and people miss the end of the episode personal updates. Those criticisms are spot-on, as far as I'm concerned. So, the comedy isn't as creative and as funny and the Account is getting stale and snagging on story chunks instead of moving forward. And It's leaving me with little time to do other things like correspond with fans, update the site, and just do stuff. So it's back to the 15 min minimum Friday releases. There may be occasional oddball mini-shows in-between there, but it's time to focus myself and get back to craftsmanship again. In fact, I'm actually plannig out the episodes a month in advance, now. Gots me a big 'ole desk calendar n' everythin'. Thanks for your patience, what with me being a flake and all.. Cayenne…
And now... The Weather.
Well, the latest chapter of The Account is about half done, and was to be posted today... and then the thunderstorm hit. Which, as you may imagine, makes recording difficult at best. Not to mention a hazard for my equipment. So we'll see how long this sucker lasts, and wether or not it goes up today or Monday. -Cayenne…
Tekdiff 4-17-08 - The Account - Chapter 5
The Account continues as Hanover and Nyro investigate the remains of one of the Waterford mill buildings. This on also introduces the new theme music I recently composed, and as a point of pride; instead of merely relying on my arsenal of pre-made loops as I usually do, I played the bass and piano parts myself. Cool, no? Okay. I'm not gonna win any awards, but I did it, so I feel good. Enjoy!…
Downgraded to 'Lost Cause'...
Awright. All apologies, but fuck this. Susan's recovering from the surgery and needs me to do everything and needed to go to the doctor today, there's a handyman knocking stuff around in the basement, and the weather, while not sucking as hard as previously feared, still sucks like a pressure pump. Add to that the fact that I've had little sleep and I've been asked to play substitute team member for a geek-fest trivia challenge that we have no chance of winning on Saturday, and I think I'm just gonna hold off on any new material this week. Next week, 3 new episodes if I can help it. Excuse me *ahem* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!…
A bit late this week, I'm afraid...
Sorry, but this weeks will be a bit late and probably The Account ch 5, only. Susan had to have last minute foot surgery and things are all in a kerfluffel as a result. Also we had to have a handyman come in a fix stuff. His schedule is most erratic, and I've had to be on call for him to come in and bang things around. So it's been a trying week so far... Sorry, again.…
Tekdiff 2/22/08 - 3rd Year's The Charm
3rd Anniversary! Correction: LaPhroig is a Scottish Whiskey. A Scottish Whiskey. Not Irish. I knew that, and I got it right on the first take, but screwed it up when I did a correction take. My bad, sorry Scottish listeners, for incorrectly identifying that frightening alcoholic concoction of yours.…
Attack of the Holiday
Sorry for the week delay, fans of Tekdiff, but between the buildup to Thanksgiving here, and a couple of last minute Drinking With Ian commitments, I had neither the proper time nor the gumption to do a new show this week. I could have slapped a "best of" show together again, but I thought I'd spare you that and/or a lazy show too. So sorry for the delay again and I'll have a new Tekdiff this Friday the 30th. Hope this didn't pose any kind of inconvenience to your listening schedule. The plan is to do the pilot of the Video Game show this week, though that may change depending on how it's recording goes. Thanks for being patient! -Cayenne P.S. Here's one of the things I helped with on Tuesday! It will be part of this month's DWI show. http://youtube.com/watch?v=sCS_vSS6vRc…
Tekdiff 11/16/07 - Necessary History
Oy. The bleak wall of writer's block rises and I crack my head against it. A total failure to mold my own and my listeners ideas into any thing hilarious necessitates a revisiting of the show archives, whereupon I polish up and re-edit re-master and tighten up some classic (i.e. old) material. Well, the beginning bit is new, anyway.. Enjoy.…
...bristiling with failure...
Oy. Terribly sorry to announce a lack of episodage this week. I have reached my limit. Not exactly sure why, but the energy to produce an episode has failed me completely. All apologies to all of you who wait hopefully each week for the new stuff, but I'm a bit whipped. Incidentally, I got numerous mails this week from new and old fans saying that they'd understand if i took time off. I took that as a hint from the hands of fate. So I shall rest up and have a new show this coming week (9/28). thanks for all your patience! -Cayenne…
Tekdiff 8-24-07 Writer's Block
A marathon of a show. I go double length to indulge you all with a true story and a fantastic Podsafe song! 3 Blind Mice is the musical guest, and we have a visit to a doctor's office, Thomas Pynchon, and my true to life story about Neil Gaiman. Enjoy!…
And speaking of bridges falling down....
So a huge apology onced again to y'all, but I have to postpone this weeks show due to several commitments piling up all at once. Fuck. I promised that this sort of thing wouldn't happen and here it is twice in 3 weeks. Arrgh. Anyway, I don't want to do a half-assed show so rather than toss one out or put up an excuse bit, I'll jut apologise here and promise a fantastic show for the 17th. I only wish I was actually getting a rest this week... Again sorry! ...I'm a bad podcaster...…
Tekdiff 3-2-07 Beyound the Known!
LBA! Aliens! Abductions! Anti-semitism! Plays!
the official Tekdiff character list!
http://www.techoutsider.com/index_files/Tekdiff_Char_List.htm
And Tom & Jerry... charming children's cartoon, or a Zionist Conspiracy. Or is someone jst an idiot. This isn't a hard decision, folks...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40VFcJTIduw
…
Teknikal Diffikulties 10/27/06- My Ass is the Cold Cold Ground
Phoning home. The advantages of Podcasting. 24 Hour Action News. Evil Scientist comes to town. Lynerd explains a few things. Drunks. Etc etc.
Hey Troops! Go give his El Nacho own show HERE!
http://www.bearedstar.com/
…