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Last update: 2011-07-20

Blueprint Special – Paul Mosley

2011-07-20 :: Chris and James

We’ve got a special episode of The Blueprint Podcast for you right here. Not only that but it contains exclusive stuff that you can’t hear anywhere else. Old friend of the Blueprint, Paul Mosley, is back, and he’s got his new album The Romantic in his pocket and a fine ukulele in his mitts. He [...]…


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Episode 83 – The New Applause

2011-02-11 :: Chris and James

You might want to run a hot bath before you listen to this week’s episode, because it’s possibly the darkest and dirtiest episode of The Blueprint so far and you might want to wash it off you after you hear it. We move in and out of various issues whilst involving a strange encounter in [...]…


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Episode 82 – How to Offend Pilots

2011-02-04 :: Chris and James

A thrill-packed episode this week. We hear news from Dave, who is still in France seeking out Xavier Laurent, and there’s a News Roundup as well as a game of Quotations to task your brain. We also discuss some quirky stories, including one in which a pilot does something so inexplicable as to make us [...]…


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Episode 81 – Entropy Hoover

2011-01-28 :: Chris and James

Many thanks to everyone who listened to Episode 80 and the return to the cyberwaves of The Blueprint. A special thanks to our American and Chinese listeners who far outnumbered everyone else (including our home turf in the UK!) We hope that Chinese listeners were pleased to hear themselves featured in the Who’s The Greatest [...]…


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Next episode tomorrow


Episode 81 will be released to the world on Friday, 28th January at 9am (GMT).…


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Episode 80 – Swearing

2011-01-21 :: Chris and James
Length: 1s

The Blueprint Podcast returns from its absence with a bumper episode in which we introduce two important new features. 1. A new co-presenter 2. Swearing As well as these exciting new developments we’ve got a cracking game of Who’s The Greatest in which we eventually reach a decision after failing to get to the point [...]…


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We’re coming back…


The Blueprint Podcast will return on Friday, 21st January 2011 with a bumper episode. Click here to subscribe using iTunes, or come back to blueprintpodcast.com at 9am (GMT) on 21/1/2011 to hear the new episode.…


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Temporarily Permanent Graffiti


Graffiti may stain church for years Now I’m not religious at all, but I do appreciate a nice building, and for better or worse churches are some of the best old buildings around. Trouble is, whatever little twat did this doesn’t give a flying one about anything older than they are and will now become [...]…


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A horse thinks it’s Friday


In the absence of any new podcast episodes, I (Chris) thought that I’d throw up some blog entries here instead. Here’s one now. This morning my train to work is about a quarter full of people who appear to share my Monday morning feelings of muted despair in the face of the week ahead. We [...]…


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Episode 79 – Roof Monk

2009-05-15 :: Chris and James

A short episode for you this week, to enable you to live your busy life and still listen to the Blueprint Podcast. We come to you again from Nottingham, and this week we’ve even got a picture of the hospital, to sort of prove that we were there. A game if Who On Earth forms [...]…


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Episode 78 – Goats

2009-05-08 :: Chris and James

We come to you from Nottingham this week, once again out exploring England, its pubs and hospitals. That doesn’t mean that we keep getting kicked in. We found ourselves a friendly pub where we were well looked-after by staff and customers alike. Chris beat the landlord at darts, while Dave did card tricks and played [...]…


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Episode 77 – Doc Doc Doc Doc Doctor Beat

2009-05-01 :: Chris and James

This week, Chris wants to talk about band names, and why they should be standardised, perhaps by the European Union or United Nations. Swine flu is big in the news this week, with infections turning up all over the place, and media hysteria already at pandemic stage, which must make the virus itself feel a [...]…


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Episode 76 – The Nazis Were Bad

2009-04-24 :: Chris and James

In Episode 76, we reminisce about our old pal Xavier Laurent, who has refused to speak to us for some time now following the various problems we had with translators. Dave’s been putting some work in on that front, so we’ll hopefully have some Xavier-based information to give you soon, but not this week. Dave [...]…


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Episode 75 – Noise Theft

2009-04-17 :: Chris and James

We like to stick a flag on world events once in a while, and with the recent pointless conviction of the founders of Pirate Bay, we tackle noise theft in this episode. Having reloaded their special foot-shooting gun some years after taking down Napster and causing file-sharing to become the many-headed monster that it is [...]…


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Episode 74 – You Have Been Watching…

2009-04-10 :: Chris and James

Remember when British sitcoms used to end with “You Have Been Watching…” and then a montage of clips of each of the stars with their name captioned on the screen? There were quite a few of them, and we tackle the inaccuracies and untruths within one British sitcom this week, or at least Chris does [...]…


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Moustache update – Day 17


Day 17 of the charity moustache in aid of Hartlepool Hospice. I don’t know what people see in having a moustache. It just feels and looks weird on me, anyway. I’d be tremendously grateful to you if you’d be so kind as to sponsor this thing on my face. Many thanks for the incredible generousity [...]…


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Moustache update – day 15


Here’s the day 15 update photo. I am going for a sort of “evil dictator” effect today. Many dictators, evil and otherwise, sported the moustache. Hitler killed that little tash he had as a style option, but other dictators were smart enough to go for a more generic style so that people didn’t use a [...]…


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Episode 73 – Hangovers in Barnsley

2009-04-03 :: Chris and James

We greet you this week from some nursing accommodation in a Barnsley hospital, the morning after one of those big nights out where the world becomes your friend and everyone wakes up wondering what day it is and where they are. We pick our way through the previous evening, and along the way find time [...]…


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Moustache update – Day 10


Here’s the current state of play in the moustache world. I look quite considerably older, but not in a cool distinguished kind of way. More in a 1981 “uncle at a wedding” kind of way.…


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Charity tash update – Day Nine




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Tashwatch Day Eight


Had a busy weekend and wasn’t near the Internet, thus no tash updates on Saturday or Sunday. Here’s day eight’s tash progress… Please sponsor this tash, because it’s a charitable endeavour. You can do so at http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash…


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Moustache Update – Day 5


Day five of the charity moustache’s life. I think I’m starting to look a bit 1980s. Today’s shirt choice probably doesn’t help in that regard. Please sponsor this now annoying moustache for charity by going to http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash…


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Episode 72 – Highlander II is Rubbish

2009-03-27 :: Chris and James

Hope you’ve been enjoying the daily thrill of moustache updates, but I’m going to have to tear you away from that for a while so that you can listen to Episode 72. Nerds are on my mind again. Possibly I think of nerds because I am one. Possibly because I worry about them and how [...]…


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Episode 72 will be slightly late


Hey folks, this week’s Blueprint Podcast episode is going to be released late on Friday night, rather than at 5pm (UK Time). Bit of a technical issue that we won’t bore you with, but hopefully it won’t ruin your Friday evening too much.…


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Tashwatch – Day 4


Things are hotting up in the moustache world, as Chris’s moustache is now visible from up to six feet away. You can do your bit to help terminally ill people and their loved ones enjoy better quality of life at the most difficult time of thei rlives by sponsoring this tash at http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash.…


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Charity Tashwatch – day three


The moustache is now feeling present on my upper lip. I noticed at the gym last night that I can no longer blow fresh air onto my own face by sticking my bottom lip out. It gets caught in the tash barrier. With help from my eldest son Joshua, here’s the situation on the morning [...]…


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Charity moustache – day one


As promised, photos will be uploaded here of the charity tash as it develops. Many thanks to those who have so far donated or pledged donations by email, hope that you, reader, will sponsor my charity moustache too, and help terminally ill people and their loved ones to enjoy better quality of life. www.justgiving.com-chris-tash…


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Episode 71 – Moustache

2009-03-20 :: Chris and James

Tell the people, episode 71 is here. Once again it’s Chris podcasting on his own, which sounds totally rude. We bring you the lastest from The Blueprint Podcast News Roundup, which this week focuses on the worlds of Law, Twitter, celebrities, The Cure, The Ting Tings, and quasi-computer-illiterate office workers. Then, it’s a journey into [...]…


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Episode 70 – War! Heeurgh! Good God Y’all

2009-03-13 :: Chris and James

Episode 70 is a Chris-only episode. Dave is out of circulation at the moment, learning the ways of the people in a far flung part of the world and healing their ills. He’ll be back in a couple of weeks or so. There’s a News Roundup this week, with stories from the worlds of speaking, [...]…


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Episode 69 – Passenger Slavery

2009-03-06 :: Chris and James

Chris has a bee in his bonnet this week about car passengers. It’s not a major beef, not like death, poverty or war, but a beef nonetheless. We’ve also got another game of Who On Earth with which to perplex and entertain you as you go about your daily lives. We’ll be back with epsiode [...]…


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Episode 68 – How to Offend Scotland

2009-02-27 :: Chris and James

We’ve got to start with an apology to all of Scotland. Towards the end of this podcast, Chris claims to be able to do Scottish accents, and there’s a chance that he in cannot in fact do anything of the sort. Apart from that, we get into a trick to pysche out other people in [...]…


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Come and see us on Twitter


We have become Twits recently, or at least Chris has, and you’ll find him (me (him)) Twittering most days. Twitter is a fun little thing. It’s a bit like an unholy union between the status updates of Facebook and the chat rooms of the Internet’s earlier days. The best thing about it is that many [...]…


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Episode 67 – Tequila!

2009-02-20 :: Chris and James

A podcast really isn’t a podcast until it’s dealt with the thorny issue of foreign news bulletins which use the song Tequila! as their background music. Finally we’re putting that right, can’t believe it took us until episode 67 to do that.On the upside, though, it gives Chris a chance to tell a story with [...]…


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Episode 66 – The Ancient Internet

2009-02-13 :: Chris and James

It’s weird how quickly technology marches on. It took a while for the Internet to really catch on and become a mainstream piece of technology, but look at us all now – we’re all strutting around with the Internet, talking to each other on mobile phones, and sometimes doing both at the same time. It’s [...]…


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Episode 65 – The Thief of Time

2009-02-06 :: Chris and James

Pow! Another week goes by and we launch your weekend with more Blueprint hijinks. You’ll notice that this week’s episode is shorter than you’re used to. We value your comments about this and we hope you’ll let us know, either by email or at Twitter, what your views are. Is this too short, or do [...]…


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Newsflash – Snow in London Causes World to End


At the time of writing, the city of London is recovering from what sounds like a post-nuclear war nightmare. Those hurricanes and earthquakes you hear about in non-English speaking countries are nothing compared to the grisly horror that smashed London yesterday. It snowed a bit. Literally millions of flakes of snow smashed into London’s gold-paved [...]…


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Episode 64 – Funny Podcast

2009-01-30 :: Chris and James

You may be taken aback by the blatant Google-courting in the title of this week’s episode. Hopefully, though, you’ll find this one to be full of laughs, smiles and occasional clearing of the throat. We kick things off pretty quickly with a game of Who on Earth? for which Dave had prepared a sort of [...]…


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Episode 63 – Nose Flutes

2009-01-23 :: Chris and James

Bang! Episode 63 is here. In this episode, Dave laments the difficulty of finding musical instruments beginning with the letter N. WIth the benefit of hindsight and Google, I’ve been able to find out that there are loads of them, albeit obscure ones or ones which may not count. The best one is “Nakers”, which [...]…


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Episode 62 – Twenty O’Nine

2009-01-16 :: Chris and James

It’s taken us a couple of weeks, but we’re ready to lay down our new year’s resolutions and predictions for 2009, including a new era for William Shatner and the Pet Shop Boys. You could be forgiven for thinking that we’ve got halfway through January before noticing that it was a new year at all. [...]…


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Episode 61 – I Hamster Resurrection

2009-01-09 :: Chris and James

As 2009 swings into action, bringing with it uncertainty for many, disaster for some, and hopefully joy and happiness for others, The Blueprint Podcast continues to provide you with a bit of fun chat all the way from England. In this episode, Dave visits a farty shop, which brings us to discussion of why farts [...]…


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Episode 60 – We Built This Podcast on Rock n Roll

2009-01-02 :: Chris and James

Okay, let’s start with a Christmas apology. Those of you who turned up here on Boxing Day expecting a new episode will doubtless be incandescent with rage that we didn’t post one. In the words of Doctor Who, we’re sorry, we’re so sorry. The reason, much as I wish it was more exciting, was a [...]…


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Episode 59 – Dickie Bow meets the Bride of Frankenstein

2008-12-19 :: Chris and James

As Christmas time sweeps ever closer, and every store in the land battles ferociously to be the one sending us the most email, it’s time to enjoy some free entertainment from The Blueprint. Dave’s encyclopedia knowledge of old James Whale horror films and less old but still pretty old mentalists comes into play this week. [...]…


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Episode 58 – All Serial Killer, No Filler

2008-12-12 :: Chris and James

We’re straight into the action this week, with some discussion about the sinister nature of old school photographs when displayed in the homes of adults. Chris says “literally” a bit too much, and Superman somehow gets involved again. We’re always talking about Superman, us. This takes us onto serial killers, and we hang around there [...]…


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Episode 57- Space Toilet

2008-12-05 :: Chris and James

Episode 57 of The Blueprint Podcast, “Britain’s best podcast with no famous people in it”, is here, with a message from Xavier Laurent, another hotly contested game Quotations, the best way of having a poo in space, and a delve into our completely fictional view of Arthur C. Clarke’s more than mysterious world. Please take [...]…


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Episode 56 – Criminal Swimming

2008-11-28 :: Chris and James

Episode 56 is a veritable smorgasbord of worldwide interest and competitive chat. Not only do we make a further attempt to speak to Xavier Laurent in France, but we have received an audio greeting all the way from the Netherlands. We’ve also got a brand new game to play on the subject of quotations, which [...]…


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Episode 55 – Lost in Translation

2008-11-21 :: Chris and James

Yes, it’s episode 55 of The Blueprint, the British talk radio podcast that brings you the fun behind the mysteries of language and truth, whilst transcending boundaries of distance, speed and endurance. Or something like that. In this episode, we have another go at contacting our French friend, Xavier, using some cutting edge technology. It [...]…


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Episode 54 – Mind Your Language

2008-11-14 :: Chris and James

The theme of Episode 54 is most certainly that of language, and it’s many uses. From Noel Coward’s special way of speaking, through to Ozzy Osbourne’s special way of singing, people certainly find their own ways to use language, and so do we. Ever keen to embrace the wider world, we make attempts to contact [...]…


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Episode 53 – Super War!

2008-11-07 :: Chris and James

Welcome back to episode 53, in which Chris and Dave once again tackle the mighty issues of the day. This week, after some parenting advice from Chris regarding Star Trek: The Next Generation, we’re keen to settle once and for all the question of who’s the greatest – Batman, Spiderman or Superman? As laymen in the [...]…


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Episode 52 – Dave Loves America

2008-10-31 :: Chris and James

The Blueprint Podcast returns for this weeks’ adventure, and we’re trotting the globe and getting to grips with Stephen Hawking and Barry White, among others. More of Dave’s pet hates are explored as we delve deeper into his inner fury, and find out why the letter “H” makes his blood boil. In other stories, we’ve [...]…


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Episode 51 – Astrological Binoculars

2008-10-24 :: Chris and James

Hello, hope you had a good week. We’re back once again with episode 51 of The Blueprint Podcast, right here in the UK with Chris and Dave. This week, we get to the heart of the Dave Russell phenomenon by discovering a couple of things that really grind his gears. We warm up first with [...]…


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Episode 50 – Introducing Dave

Length: 33m 49s

As promised, we've now got new episodes of the Blueprint Podcast coming your way on Fridays at 5pm (UK Time) once again. Again, many apologies ...…


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Episode 49 – Fish Food

Length: 35m 57s

With further apologies for last week's no-show, The Blueprint Podcast is back with episode 49. No Greg this week, but I hope you won't mind ...…


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Episode 48 – Frozen Monkeys

Length: 38m 17s

Oops, sorry about being a bit late with getting this one online. You try telling my eight-year-old that he has to stop playing Star Wars ...…


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The Blueprint Podcast

A funny British comedy podcast with chat and laughs from the UK.

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