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Last update: 2013-05-21

Slip Em a Fiver And Ask Em To Do a Favour

2013-05-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Slip Em a Fiver And Ask Em To Do a Favour…

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Who Shot the Red Baron?

2013-05-06 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The strange disappearance of the Colonel's wife, The Parker pen thermometer, The Red Baron and tight pockets…

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Whistle Your Way To The top!

2013-04-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Wow, the Colonel and Sage return, Scottish bottoms, David Icke and Wogan's elbows, burning Volkswagens, padeophile Priests and Roger Whittaker…

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The Mud Men of the Fjords

2013-03-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Etheral nature of existence, teddy boys, powdered milk, fish farming, mud men and also some spunk…

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Who put the B.O. in Bohemia

2013-02-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Zionists, cockney mars bars, limericks and guess the smell with The King of the Bohemians - Iron Foot Jack…

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Macabre Machinations

2013-02-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Lonnie Donegan's baton, chocolatiering fat bastards, strange DIY, Litvinenko and the Scientologists, what happens under the arches in Vauxhall...…

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The World is an Elitist Swag Bag

2012-12-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Getting rid of prostitutes, necrophilia, Barack Obama, General Custer, Robbie Williams and much much more…

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The Maiden Tribute of Modern Babylon!!

2012-11-26 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

New episode with the Colonel, Sage and the team... Turkish baths, Jimmy Savile Row, Thatcher's sweet shop and Nobby the fisherman…

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Grappling Grabs trade secrets and Royal Rumbles

2012-11-11 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Colonel and Sage discuss the burning issues of the day including James Bond, Royal tits, compassionate robocops, brain draining and the grab, the grab…

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Egging The Omelette

2012-10-28 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel and Sage are back back back with a new series... itchy bottoms... Boris the cyclist... Lord Coe... but is it art?…

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We Didn’t Start The Fire! But You Have To Start The Fire If You Want To make A Change!

2012-08-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Last in the series... What happened to Prince Philip's testicles during the Jubilee?... The Colonel gets in trouble with the Royals...…

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Pull Your Socks Up and Sort Yourselves Out!

2012-07-22 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Thumbs up with the Fonz, Louis Walsh and sexual health, Pam Ayres, gay ebay, boiling piss, colour, light and stabbing in the dark…

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A Right Fry Up - We're All Out Of Our Brains Or At Least My Friends Are!

2012-06-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Who killed Rober Kennedy? Who is God's dentist? And this summer's narcotic Olympics…

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One Hundred And Fifty Not Out and He Still Has His Pads On!

2012-06-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Party time for Sage and the Colonel... Doing business with dwarves, Brando's favourite biscuits and Ron shifts a paradigm with a knife.…

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Suck It And See!

2012-05-13 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Episode 149 with Sage and the Colonel - How do you do what you do to me? Suck it and see!…

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The Tewenty Seven Club. Lightweights only

2012-04-30 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Swinging England, Brian Jones and the otherlightweights, David Walliams in the Thames, redheads and the Royals, Cheggers in the trenches…

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Vapor Rooms, Formaldehyde And The Turner Prize

2012-04-17 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Men together in the Poplar Vapour Rooms... Pressing trousers... Lord Lucan... glory holes... the Colonel's outrageous plan on how to keep the Falklands safe... all finished off with some toilet trouble…

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Hung Up On Meat Hooks (don't do me like that!)

2012-03-31 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Crabtree and Sage return with a new series! A journey into the darkness... Georgie Fame, Water Buffalo, homeless people, Rita Marley, ginormous erections, the Hallal pill crusade…

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Woggle Madness and Clutch Problems

2012-03-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Pre series special - Woggle Madness and Clutch Problems…

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Great Expectations

2012-02-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Who is the Colonel's famous long lost great grandchild? Are Terry's better than Dirk's? What did Crabtree do to Mrs Haversham? Last in the series…

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Ayahuasca and Other Such Stories

2012-01-29 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Psychedelic exploring... up the Amazon in a dress... coming serpents... Claire Sweeney salivating in Jack boots... on being Anne Frank one evening 1945, with just her sister at her side... the horror! the horror!…

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A fluffy revolution

2012-01-15 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Experimenting with polar bears, cous cous, Mick McCarthy, revolution…

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Stop the clocks I want to get off - Mid series special

2011-12-31 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Midseries special from the Colonel and Sage…

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Christmas Special - Ebony and Ivory all in it together

2011-12-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Festive fun with the Colonel's Christmas Special - Ebony and Ivory all in it together... doing it for the kids…

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Crumbs of Crowley

2011-12-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel recounts time spent with Aleister Crowley. The dark arts, ducks, leather pants, Mike Yarwood and other satantic stuff and nonsense…

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Murder Without Conviction

2011-12-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

We discover various high profile 'indiscretions' by the Colonel that links him with some of the most historical assissinationsof the 20th Century. In addition, a Scotsman is unfortunate.…

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Falling over with Miranda

2011-11-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Twisting with Sage and the Colonel... The despicably evil plan of the great inventor Otis Van Strapon, involving Miranda Hart and falling over. The Chinese, Stacia Blake and Liptons Tea??…

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You do the fighting, I'll do the talking

2011-11-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Rantsville - Archbishops, big society, the French, David Cameron the shit... the Colonel gets a bit wound up with them all…

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The fly killer runs a mock

2011-10-16 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Who are we? Blaming the wife, getting conned by the YMCA, Ku Klux Klan, inspecting hard drives and fisticuffs with the Angel Gabriel…

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Mein Cucumbers

2011-10-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

This week Eva Peron, Muslim knock knock jokes, toffs and cultivating cucumbers…

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The art of seduction

2011-09-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

New Series! Sleeping with mothers. Standing and delivering. Anyone for tennis, diving or pool? And getting throttled by the Krays…

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Land of Hope and Gory

2011-09-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

I predict a riot... Series special with the Colonel, Ronnie Kray and the rest. Arse, skinheads, flagpoles, riots and looting gobstoppers. How to get a job at the BBC and how to hire a chimney sweep. At the end of the day, give them six of the best and have a cup of tea.…

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Episode Special - Hollywood Conspiracy with Wigs

2011-08-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Madame Tassaud’s Scandal, the Colonel’s role in the killing of Osama Bin Laden… what really goes on in the Playboy mansion. The joy of auto asphyxiation. How to make porridge… and how Ted Rogers helped out Al Qaeda…

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Suffragette Transparency

2011-08-01 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Hello Sailor! Been caught stealing... Compromising photographs of Prince Philip... did she jump or was she pushed? Getting it out in the open... Last in the series…

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Food and oil issues

2011-07-03 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Starting from the bottom up with Ronald McDonald... who killed Victor Hugo? Sexual harassement in the trenches…

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Tales from Berlin

2011-06-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The buggerer's buggerer, the trench wench, Ken Dodd's feather duster, Dr Who is compromised, dealing with the youth and being unkind to Israelis and who the hell's Max Miller?…

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Colonel Gaddafi's pantomine horse

2011-06-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The metaphysical power of the Aztec sausage, Charlie Sheen's strategy for Libya, the confusion over the Karate Kid, Brian Cox and Opera…

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The Tales of a Gay Romper Stomper

2011-05-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

John Galliano, Romper Stompers, tattoos, favouring Muslimists, kidnapping cats…

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Smoke Screens - Wikileaks

2011-05-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Is wikileaks a smokescreen for a bigger stink? Is Prince Philip a deviant? Where is the clown with the bulge in his trousers?…

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Twin Towers, illusionists and film makers

2011-04-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Twin Towers conspiracy, hijra, Rogered Milliband and tightening nuts, all in a day's work for Crabtree and Sage…

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Oh The Good Life (until someone causes trouble)

2011-04-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Sage is joined by both the Colonel and Ronnie... they discuss Bolshevism, hurting rabbits and Sting and William Hague's plan to steal from old people…

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Short Term Ice Dancing

2011-03-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Richard Keys and Andy Gray, man on man affection, all you ever wanted to know about corned beef and freeze dried haemeroids…

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Woe betide the eunuchs

2011-03-13 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel returns with series 13. Peace in our time, paying for sex, double headed spying... the first goon show, shitting in holes…

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Stealing from Sainsburys

2011-02-06 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Stealing from Sainburys and blinding the Police. Hitting people with guitars, pissing blood and hypnotising Court Judges... all in a days work for the Colonel.…

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Surviving Armageddon up Ben Nevis

2011-01-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Who will best survive in a post-apocalyptic world? Sage or Crabtree? And which one will end up starving to death in Wales? Which of the oldies has the best sperm to re-populate the new world? Rubbing sticks, collecting mushrooms and Danny La Rue are all discussed as Sage and the Colonel discuss their prospects after armageddon.…

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Empire Building with Ron and Reg

2011-01-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Ronnie and Reggie Kray return from the grave discuss their future plans, which include pickling and Boris Karloff. Also, a message from Alvin Lindwall who discusses breathing in Hitler dust, cannibalism and why it’s all God’s fault.…

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Merry Christmas Everyone

2010-12-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Get into the Christmas spirit with the Colonel, Sage, Ron and the rest of the team. The studio is filled with love as they discuss the Colonel's failed suicide bombing Son. Also, is the Colonel the real father of David Cameron's children?…

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Poking with a stick

2010-12-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

To poke or to blow up? The Vanstrapulater, sneaking into Heaven through the back door, Hitler or Gandhi?... Last in this series.…

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Erotic Pulsations

2010-12-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The pulsating movements of Louie Spence... The Colonel launches an appeal for the victims of the recent great floods in Kingston Upon Thames... find out what did Ronnie Kray do to Duncan Bannatyne... Don't listen to this whilst eating...…

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Whoops

2010-11-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Does the original version of the last supper prove that Jesus was either Australian or gay? What was Satan so upset about? Where did Michael Jackson put his finger?…

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God's punishment and other controversies

2010-11-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel airs his controversial views on Olympic training, religionist's views on punishing limp wristers, how to achieve a distinctive swagger with the 'walnut trick' and does God wear a wig?…

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Gurkha Issues

2010-11-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A Frenchman on the run, banning Gurkhas, pumping children full of Jesus, phone sex with Bishops and Boris and his Johnson…

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The Pathfinders

2010-11-01 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The sorry tale of Tiddler Terry, sat in a tree... also... Dawn Clench... Vince Cable's Hitler moustache and why Mugabe demands respect…

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The wrong end of the stick

2010-10-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Boxing with Denis Healey, farting with Evelyn Waugh and wanking with Edith Piaf... all in a days work for the Colonel…

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While the Watcher watches you...

2010-10-17 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Cat Stevens, split anuses, poor people and sausages, problems with permanent erections, how to make a slush puppy…

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Tourettes all round

2010-10-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Problems with Philip Schofield's poppers, Piers Morgan runs a Mosque, the English Defence League has tourettes... Roger Agogo goes mad…

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When life gives you lemons...

2010-09-26 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel returns with a new series... Secret lemonade drinking, The Duke of Wellington, hanging around lavatories, bloody Boris's pushbikes, trouble on the buses…

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Stalking Jennifer Aniston

2010-09-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Walking on the wild side with Danny La Rue, stalking Jennifer Aniston with Dr. Legg, trespassing with Wayne Rooney and kiddy fiddling with the Pope... all in a day's work for the Colonel…

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Ron and Reg reunion

2010-09-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Before the new series begins, Ronnie and Reggie Kray enjoy a reunion. They discuss what a rubbish decorator Jackson Pollock was, cafes, Star Trek and Ron’s sexual preferences.…

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Royal Scandal Bank Holiday Special

2010-08-29 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A drunken Colonel witters about taking drugs with the Royal family, his plan to take back India for the Empire and putting chilli peppers up the Kyber pass. There is a delightful summer song about self love and then the Colonel spews all over himself.…

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Knob Brothers Q and As

2010-08-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Knob Brothers, the very aged rockers, are in the studio discussing their days in the music industry... old novelty records, Joe Meek, groupies, the management style of the Colonel and the size of their knobs…

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Film Review with Jock Spalding

2010-08-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Sage’s attempt at a cultural film review has mixed results as Jock Spalding is invited to the studio to discuss Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo and Tarkovsky’s Stalker… then he gets his knob out and things take a turn for the worse.…

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Golden kangeroo balls

2010-08-01 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Marmite bagels, naughty Jews, limp wristed German sheep, the location of Lord Lucan and golden kangeroo balls... the chaos continues in the last in this series... special episode next week!…

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Give Mossad a call

2010-07-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Can Sue Pollard do the splits? Who does Sting think he is? What do Mossad want with Shane Ritchie? Are the Colonel's social policies too extreme? These and many other questions will be partially answered at best in this weeks episode... you can probably answer that last question yourselves to be honest.…

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Geri Halliwell and the Fanshaw Candelabra Story

2010-07-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The beautifully retarded Cheryl Cole and a case of mistaken identity involving Geri Halliwell and Fanshaw Candelabra... for the second week in a row - no one gets 'cut'…

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In Cold Blood

2010-06-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Truman Capote, Mick McCarthy, Fanshaw Candelabra and Ronnie Kray all join the Colonel and Sage in the studio this week, luckily, no one gets 'cut'…

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Saddam's Weapon of mass destruction uncovered

2010-06-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel recalls how he accidently started the Iraq War when inspecting Saddam's bunker... also - carving up Arabia and killing Jeremy Paxman…

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Caught with ya pants down

2010-06-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Flashing at the Chilton enquiry, Bill Gates killing Germans, Peter Tatchell's soft spots, defending Quinten Crisp, offending the Irish…

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French and Italian issues

2010-05-30 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A lonely little man from Clapham... Oliver fist... loosing sense of reality... talking sex and celibacy... shooting Italians in the backside... The naked flesh of Jane Fonda…

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The Colonel's hermaphrodite lost love

2010-05-22 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Hermaphrodites are on the table this week as the Colonel reveals his lost love. Lady Gaga, Tarkovsky and codpieces are also on the agenda…

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Transvestite whales?

2010-05-16 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Martin Luther King, Transvestite whales, teenage pregnancy and why not to suck on used tampons…

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Sage in perverted mode - the new Series begins

2010-05-09 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Fisters, twisters and lispers... The Colonel reviews the Knob Brothers new songs... bad language and questionable comments are unleashed…

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Vote Crabtree! - Election Special

2010-05-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Prior to the new series of the Colonel's radioshow, we present the Colonel's Election Special - the Colonel outlines his policies and expresses exactly how he feels about Cameron, Clegg and Browntrousers…

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The Knob Brothers speak

2010-03-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Before a new series of the Colonel Radioshow kicks off we have the Knob Brothers memoirs... including Curdled custard, dirty books, dirty girls, quantum physics and Joe Meek the f**ker…

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Michael Jackson's new nose and other stories

2010-02-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Getting to the knob of the matter with Peter Sellers and his rubber nose, Lionel Ritchie and his penis, the Pope and his arse and Michael Jackson and his puppets... Last in the current series…

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Jealous of Jonathan Ross

2010-02-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Havoc in the studio, Mick McCarthy get cut, Jacques Kallis gets cut... there's talk of abusing Barry Manilow and the Colonel accusses Sage of professional jealousy…

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Freedom of Speechless

2010-01-31 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Should we grab Lord Mandelson around the neck, strangle the life out of him and feed him to vegetarians? Should we worry about Communists, Fascists and the Alabama 3?…

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Poetry Corner

2010-01-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A poetry reading descends into farce when the Colonel accuses Derek Pringle of raping Sage... The Colonel dissects the Bible and concludes that it is all bollocks.…

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Trudi Stings Gary Linekar

2010-01-17 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

What happened when the Colonel is invited to a Tuscan orgy by Sting and Trudie Styler and the strange case of Gary Linekar and a bag of salt 'n' shake…

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The Death of Poetry

2010-01-09 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Episode 100! Jock Strap, Sage in poetic mood and never twist a fister.…

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Leg touching and limp wristed immigration

2010-01-03 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Leg touching in the cinema, Johnny Lydon the hypocrite, remarkably dressed Muslims, the Colonel outlines his immigration policies.…

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Colonel's Christmas Speech

2009-12-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel delivers his Christmas message to the Nation. Ronnie Kray accidentally spoils Christmas and then he spoils it again (by accident).…

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Colonel's Christmas Special

2009-12-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Tea bagging with The Queen Mum, pogoing with Prince Philip and the Colonel's special Christmas 'Peace' Mission to Afghanistan... next Thursday the Colonel delivers his Christmas message…

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Oh dear Sydney!

2009-12-06 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Fisting with the Pet Shop Boys, Ronnie's naughty tailer, a dead foot on the shoulder and re-cycling with Ronnie…

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Family values

2009-11-28 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Reggie and Ronnie oven gloves... A new Ronnie scam involving young boys selling household goods door to door... someone is going to get cut. Anybody want some Staminol?…

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Tax avoidance suggestions

2009-11-17 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Series 10 begins with Ronnie Kray... more tax avoidance ideas with the story of Philip Jenkins - Inland Revenue 'employee of the month' who ended up with a leek sticking out of his bottom.…

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Memoirs of the Knobs

2009-11-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Using Michael Jackson's nose, the abuse of Adrian Chiles and what did Cliff Richard rub into the bottoms of the Knob Brothers?…

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From humble beginnings to nothingness

2009-10-28 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Corrected mp3 link from previous!... sorry old chaps... The perils of rubbing Algipan on your Johnson... The Colonel introduces The Knob Brothers... tan chords and slip on shoes...the milking of Mark Lester…

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I believe I can fly

2009-10-13 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Welcome back Colonel!... Rosa Parks sat down so that Martin Luther King could walk, Martin Luther King walked so that Barack Obama could run, Barack Obama ran so that our children could fly like R Kelly... Are all the problems over now we have a black man in the White House? Last in the current series…

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Will Ronnie live again?

2009-10-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Final episode with Ronnie - including more tales of his protection racket in Purgatory with Ghandi, Frank Sinatra, Francis Bacon, Millets and Jesus... Ronnie finally gets his money. the Colonel returns from his tour of the USA next week!…

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Zeus in a headlock

2009-09-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Krays plan their return to Earth by kidnapping Jesus, sticking him in the cupboard with Ghandi and blackmailing God... they plan to take over the bodies of the Kemp Bros.... failing that Ant and Dec... failing that, the Chuckle Brothers.…

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Threatening Jesus

2009-09-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Ronnie Kray is still back from the dead, revealing more of his adventures in purgatory... shooting Jesus... nicking the head of John the Baptist and admiring the Prophet Mohammed's large sword...…

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Threatening God

2009-09-13 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Madness in the studio as the spirit of Ronnie Kray continues to control the body of medium Josie VanStrapon... Ronnie continues his tales from purgatory, explaining his extortion racket on the River Styx, why he had to 'cut' the Charon and why he had to threaten God…

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Live Seance

2009-08-30 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Spooky... The spirit of Ronnie Kray is summoned during a live seance with Sage. Ronnie's constant threats to 'cut' Sage are interspersed with frightening tales including the sewing up of Cliff Richard's Anus and Gandhi's sexual prowess in the afterlife.…

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Kipper ties as a force for good

2009-08-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel is on tour in the US so Mick McCarthy visits the studio. Sage struggles with this high tempered 'mans man' with his kipper tie obsession. Discussions include his fallout with Roy Keano, Mick's mother, River dance training and (of course) kipper ties as a force for good.…

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Cock on air

2009-08-09 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Religion, tickling Gerry Halliwell's trout and corrupting East End tailors... The Colonel is off on tour in the Americas or is it Russia so Sage and Crabtree have a goodbye sing song. Finally, we listen to a recording of Ronnie Kray from Broadmoor who dedicates a poem to the Colonel.…

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The mad axmen

2009-07-28 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Tales from the old East End as the Colonel recalls his nightclub days with the Kray Twins, Sid James and Barbara Windsor including the astounding tale of dead men in shoulder pads. Also on the table - nipple tweaking, Chelsea Pensioners and darts…

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Ronnie Kray's Flat

2009-07-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

It's be kind to Featherlite week... The Colonel is convinced Billy Connolly has become a priest and he recalls his curious visit to Ronnie Kray's flat... featuring Charles Hawtrey and man on man action…

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Mick Bloody McCarthy

2009-07-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 29s

Mick McBloody McCarthy makes a guest appearance on the show. Lawrence Olivier shooting ping pong balls from his back passage and Bald patches in the pubic area…

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Salt beef and foot fetishes

2009-07-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 33s

Candyfloss, cheesecake and orgies - the Colonel's vision of Utopia unveiled. Cherie Blair gets a tongue lashing and entertaining fuckwits…

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J-Lo's knickers

2009-06-28 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 33s

More preposterous tales as the Colonel continues his investigations into the Pubic placements... Keith Chegwin, Ben Affleck, Boris Johnson and J-Lo's knickers are all implicated…

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Who is the Pubic monster?

2009-06-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 32s

Tales of strange goings on at the Beeb and Channel 4 with deliberate pubic placements being left in toilets. Who is Pubus Errectus, the creature that haunts the Colonel's dreams? What horrified June Whitfield in the canteen and what links Davina McCall, James Nesbitt, Noel Edmunds and the Krays twins?…

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Large proboscises

2009-06-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 13s

Before Series 9 starts we have some candid conversations: Sarah Jessica Parker and large proboscises, Yosser Hughes, Andy Peters and finally - what highbrow discussion would be complete without mentioning rimming…

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I blame Ringo Starr

2009-06-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 34s

Who's the better dictator - Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin or Simon Cowell? Does God get angry when the Colonel masterbates? The story of Viceroy Vickers.…

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Pouring petrol

2009-05-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 34s

The Colonel (antagonist extraordinaire) is at it again with an eclectic range of topics - pouring petrol on George Clooney, mocking the luck of the Irish, playing Fagin and a very odd story about Demis Roussos…

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I was Ronnie Kray's driver

2009-05-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 34s

Was Hitler visited by the Angel Gabriel? Is China a piss soaked tramp? Why are hairy idiots allowed on TV? And will the Colonel ever get to discuss his time as a driver for Ronnie Kray?…

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Teabagging the Prime Minister

2009-05-03 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 32s

Which Prime Minister enjoys teabagging whilst whistling? What is stamp licking? Who forages on Wimbledon Common like a perverted Womble? Why is stabbing so in vogue and who can we blame? All these pastimes of the good and great are discussed by the Colonel and Sage in this episode…

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Lewd subject matter

2009-04-25 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 32s

The Colonel returns with more dirt and libellous accusations involving Lenny Henry, eating ice cream with Robert Mugabe, chicks with dicks or blokes with tits, necrophilia with the illuminati and more talk of bottoms…

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Lewd subject matter

2009-04-25 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 32s

The Colonel returns with more dirt and libellous accusations involving Lenny Henry, eating ice cream with Robert Mugabe, chicks with dicks or blokes with tits, necrophilia with the illuminati and more talk of bottoms…

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Holiday Episode

2009-04-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 18s

Special holiday episode... Sage and his shorts are off to Bangkok for a couple of weeks 'relaxation'and The Colonel cannot be left alone so the show will return in two weeks... meantime, here's a short chat about French letters, Ronnie Kray, a cure for 'gay', golfing and (of course) fisting…

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Transvestite Dancer

2009-03-29 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 33s

Did Alicia, dressed as Grace Jones, hit Russell Harty on the Lily Allen show? Why is Jeremy Clarkson upset with Michael Jackson? Is Vernon Kay the future? Where is the clitoris? Find the answers to these burning questions in the latest episode of the Colonel Radioshow…

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Gloryholes

2009-03-22 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

Who the hell is Cherie Blair? Sage gets dunked in the canal and gets his mohair shorts wet. Scope darts, the Cornish dialect and the aristocrats…

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Guess the smell with Ewan Mcgregor

2009-03-15 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 36s

Assinating Ewan Mcgregor, Easy Rider sabotage with Dennis Hopper, Nelson Mandela collaboration with the Prodigy, Prince Albert cock ring retrieval device and why the Colonel is unlikey to get a knighthood…

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Turkish baths and bendiness

2009-03-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 33s

Derek Pringle's poetry corner, turkish baths, Geldof's goat children, Sergio Crease the Scope Hero and the dislike of bendiness. Also; the strange case of the clone of Ian Hislop... or is it a surgically enhanced Robert Maxwell?…

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Killer Puppies

2009-02-25 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 38s

Illusion and nonsense from the Colonel: Killer puppies, insulting Chris Martin, the fine line between Gandhi and Hitler, insulting Islam extremists and also the Colonel tells some jokes…

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What a cock up

2009-02-15 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 35s

Shitting in ditches with Henry Kissinger, tents for the homeless and other preposterious tales from the Colonel and company…

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Who is Sir Robert Trouser?

2009-02-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 36s

Who is the mysterious Robert Trouser? Was there a conspiracy to convince the world that Lady Diana was attractive? Who has Paul Gascoigne in a headlock and who are Stephane and the Kiddiewinkers?…

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The Gary Glitter incident

2009-02-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 31s

Gary Glitter's possible clone, prophetic testicals, flirting with featherlight and Margaret Thatcher are all topics in this chaotic episode…

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Soapsuds and Jockstraps

2009-01-25 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 35s

Series 8 begins with talk of a room full of young men, medieval buggery, fatwa inducing claptrap and Boris Johnson on his Raleigh racer…

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Happy New Year

2009-01-11 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 12s

A Happy New Year message from the Colonel with Ronnie Kray, Mick McCarthy and idiots from TV…

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Homemade Condoms

2009-01-04 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

Homemade condoms, Helen Mirren in Caligula, Harold McMillan exposed, Gin Lane, Crack Alley and obesity as an infectious disease…

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Unnatural Kinks

2008-12-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

Bankers, wankers and Bono... the Colonel says something stupid about Right Wing Conspiracy Theories about the London Bendy Bus…

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The smoking ban, personal freedom and cheese

2008-12-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 28s

I love cheese, Roy Castle and the smoking ban, Sven the Swede, getting high with Russell Harty... Tom Cruise the fanny plunger, sharing a cell with Jeffrey Archer…

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Goats, Popes and Necrophilia

2008-11-30 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 26s

Half man half goat? Marching into Poland and the story of Maggie May…

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Illuminati - Squeezing the truth out

2008-11-22 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 25s

Is the late Robert Maxwell really Ian Hislop? Is the real Ian Hislop going to be fed to the Illuminati? Is Rick Waller Ronald McDonald?…

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Liberals Jockstrap

2008-11-10 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 7s

New series begins with a short introduction and message of hope from The Colonel and Sage!…

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HERE IS THE NEWS

2008-10-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 16s

Celebrity News Report as read by Ian Thespian…

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The Colonel Attacks!

2008-10-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 16s

The Colonel attacks! Surprise reprise: Last in series 6 - Corporate semen and clandestine cannalbalism with beefy's bouncy burgers…

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Desmond in a Tutu

2008-10-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

A turd in a box is still a turd in a box... force feeding poor people crap food with the humourist Gordon Brown... plus Sage and the Colonel sing the Beatles…

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The wonderful Heather McCartney/Mills and other tales

2008-10-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

Did the Colonel start the Second World War? Did the Colonel steal the World Cup? Does the Colonel believe in God? All this plus the wonderful Heather Mills clearing landmines.…

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Did Princess Di have a third son?

2008-09-27 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 23s

How Jimmy Hill was responsible for the break up between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Also; the mystery of Princess Di's third son and the corrupt Chin Society, whos members include Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Forsyth, and their plot to take over the world.…

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Royal Prostate on Ebay

2008-09-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 21s

Stephen Hawkins and Davros the traffic wardens, signed Royal prostates on ebay and torturing Vernon Kay.…

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Softening extremities

2008-09-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 31s

The male birth, wrestling Cliff Richard for the prize, Red Ken's World of Wonder…

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Peeling testicles

2008-09-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 30s

Peeling testicles, money, power, fame and unprotected bottle sex, Bono and retards on tv…

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Naked Berzerking

2008-08-31 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 24s

The Colonel is in love and is naked. Topics on the table today include inciting riots, berzerking on buses and the unfortunate display of Mrs. Webb's gash…

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The Disappearance of Brian May

2008-08-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 23s

The strange case of the disappearance of Brian May. Starring Steve Irwin, Hugh Hucknall, David Furnish as a Royal Corgi and Ben Affleck. Guest starring George Michael…

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Apologies to the Pope

2008-08-16 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 27s

The Colonel's great vision of The Vernon Kay Puppet Show will alas never come to be due to the passing on of Jeremy Beadle. How Robert Maxwell never learnt to swim and why the real Ian Hislop is incarcerated at the North Pole. All of this and much less more in the first of the new series of the Colonel's dubious memoirs…

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The Phantom Returns

2008-08-09 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin
Length: 26s

Who is the Bum Bandit of Westminster Bridge? The Colonel interviews his brother to get to the bottom of this disturbing saga.…

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World Wide Wank

2008-08-03 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.…

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Kill Em All!

2008-07-13 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.…

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Scientologist cults

2008-07-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Ron Hubbard and the hollywood cults are on the agenda today... dancing naked, selling your soul to the corporate 'man'…

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Who stole Kevin Costner's tights?

2008-06-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel explains his mad visions for profiteering from the melting icecaps... Who stole Kevin Costner's tights? Lesbian sex fests at Wimbledon and how the Colonel contributed to the downfall of Tony Blair…

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Goosed by a goosestepper

2008-06-14 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel's been reading the Daily Mail again and talks of sexual thrusting, fear of flowery types and the odd bit of prodding. He also recalls his African adventures and the time he was molested by a High ranking Nazi.…

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Heather McCartney's missing leg

2008-06-07 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Ninja tricks, Sergio escapes, ballet dancing and the tale of Heather McCartney's missing leg.…

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Never play darts with Hitler

2008-05-31 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Chaotic scenes ensue as the studio is invaded...The Colonel explains why Hitler embarked on his campaign of mass genocide... Extreme method acting...Offers of amputation and Ian Hislop.…

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Amused to the point of disgust

2008-05-25 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Amused to the point of disgust. The Colonel's feud with Stephen Hawkins continues and explains his plans to send Hawkins and Phil Spector into space.…

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Evangelical sniper

2008-05-20 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A sniper tries to take out the Colonel, Chic Sikhs, Chris Martin, Frank Lampard's thumbs and why we allow the Scottish to play tennis…

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Licking Balls

2008-05-11 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel returns... Sage is sporting shorts and Crabtree is in silk... What exactly is the relationship between Dale Winton and the President of Iran? Also this week... beating and whipping, celebrity chefs, Mr. Blobby, fat people and fondling…

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NEWS FLASH: J-Lo to be skinned alive

2008-04-26 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

No Colonel this week: Instead we have this special Celebrity News Report read by Ian Thespian…

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Psychic false teeth

2008-04-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Did Delia Smith spike the Colonel's egg sandwich? Did Robbie Williams kill badgers? Did Louie Walsh headbutt a dolphin? Why did the Colonel steal the psychic false teeth of Cliff Richard's Mum? Last of the current series…

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Wu Tang Clan in tights

2008-04-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Ever seen the Wu Tang Clan in pantyhose? Is Jimmy Tarbuck the Loch Ness Monster? More illusion, confusion and self delusion with The Colonel…

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Plastic vaginas

2008-04-06 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Who eats porridge out of a plastic vagina? Is Tom Jones black? Is shit acceptable? These questions and possibly many others are answered by listening to this Episode of the Colonel's memoirs…

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Gandhi loses his temper

2008-03-29 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel gets attacked by Gandhi, kidnapped by Cliff Richard and suffocated by a sandal. There's Catholic skullduggery afoot, dead relatives through the post, invasions by shadows, sore bats wing and a load of bollocks... what else could you possibly desire?…

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Beefy Botham eats an umpire

2008-03-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel is in his usual lunatic mode... KKK bus drivers, Beefy Botham eating umpires... and of course, rectums are all on the agenda…

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Pictures of Penises

2008-03-18 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Kaki shorts, pictures of penises,finding solace in Charlotte Church's mum and trouble with traffic wardens are just some of the topics exposed by the Colonel this week…

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Bizarre Celebrity fishing trip

2008-03-11 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

All hell breaks loose with fishing adventures in the outback with Steven Irwin. Find out how did Abu Hamza loose his hands and which Hollywood star was caught shoving a deoderant can up his tradesmans. Todays finale is the Conlenel's rendition of 'Moon River'…

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Training Mosquitos

2008-03-01 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

We start with a sore penis, then move on to hot potatoes, attacking children, training mosquitos to bite extremists and we hope against hope that Ronan Keating will never sing again…

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Stealing Bono's Trousers

2008-02-23 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Is Bono a veal eater? Is Jim Morrison dead? Is there something nasty in Sage's woodshed? Beefeater hats?... Sandal confusion, suicide bombers, Chopper Harris, de-materialisation, Houdini... and of course, more fingers up rectums…

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Beware the sausage!

2008-02-16 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Series Four begins with sausages! A brief history of the sausage in art, warfare and revolution! Also, Van Gogh, Nazis... egotistical foxes...…

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Poor parenting skills

2008-02-09 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Bed wetting hoodies, namby pamby public school liberal facists, two sugars please...…

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Violating giant puppetry

2008-02-02 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

More highly inflammatory rambling tales from our beloved Colonel... The Michael Jackson saga continues…

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Jackson Clan and El Rabbito

2008-01-26 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A miniturized mad scientist is injected up the bottom of Michael Jackson... life sized puppetry and other unbelievable tales from our dear Colonel…

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Leatherclad nipple tweaking

2008-01-19 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Skulduggery afoot as the Colonel uncovers the links between leather clad nipple tweaking Richard, breast displaying Judy and the Al Qaeda network…

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Britney Spears

2008-01-12 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Britney Spears, the nipple tweaking Prince, large ladies and Himmler's affection for funky chickens…

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Pillow talk

2008-01-05 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Sage accuses The Colonel of racism, homophobia and pillow talk…

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Hellfire Club

2007-12-29 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Hellfire Club of Decadent Dalliances…

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Hairless balls

2007-12-21 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

The Colonel retells his adventure with Van Strapon in the Belgium Congo... plus STDs, Cocaine, Jesus the Christ, time capsules, Maggie Thatchers heart, hairless balls, smaller persons...…

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Ugly babies

2007-12-15 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

Reincarnation... Ugly babies and the fiery furnaces and snooker loopy nutters…

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Manginas

2007-12-08 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

We all need redemption... the Colonel continues with Mark Twain, Steve Davis, Pakistan, prison, manginas...…

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radioshow 20

2007-11-24 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

This week, topics include: The talentless Mr. Blackwood, Norman Wisdom the hitman, and an unsavory incident featuring Lenny Henry and The Cottagers.…

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sampler

2007-09-11 :: George Dudley Josh Tobin

A compilation of some of the funniest bits from the Colonel's first 10 radioshows. In these comedy interviews with Sage McCorkadale he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history. Be patient...watch the skies...…

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The Colonel Radioshow

Colonel Crabtree-Smythe breaks his silence for the first time in over twenty years. In these weekly comedy radio interviews with Sage McCorkadale he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history.

The Colonel Radioshow


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