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Last update: 2012-08-28

A Sabbatical For My Sabbatical, Part 3

2012-08-28 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

“The next time we meet, we are going to change your life forever.” That was what I had said to Brian the last time I’d met with him, and here he was again, sitting on my couch. Normally, I don’t think much about just what the heck I say to anyone, but since I’d been on a sabbatical, Brian was the only client I’d seen. So Brian kept getting stuck in my head like that alien worm in that “Star Trek: Khan” movie. Now, when Brian had told me that he was ...…

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A Sabbatical For My Sabbatical, Part 2

2012-07-30 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Brian sat in my office for about 10 minutes while I thought about what to say to him. You see, I had decided to fix Brian. And, so far, Brian was not an easy person to fix. When Brian came into my office over two months ago, it seemed like he had a fairly simple problem. Everything in his life seemed to be going exactly right, yet he wasn’t feeling happy. This was perplexing, for sure, because whenever things are going right for me, I’m completely happy. For instance, I’ve been ...…

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A Sabbatical For My Sabbatical

2012-05-08 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 7s

Folks, I’ve been taking a sabbatical for the first part of this year, which, as you know, is a traditional practice for someone like me who normally does the holy work of bestowing sacred teachings to the masses. Such work can take a lot out of you, as there are a lot of masses, so I decided to take it easy for a while and sabbatical it up big time. The nice thing about a sabbatical is that you can work if you want to; you just give yourself an excuse ...…

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Hey, Ellen DeGeneres!

2012-01-23 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 1s

Ellen DeGeneres! I know you’ve been waiting for the right time to invite me, Dr. Matt, onto your show. After all, you don’t want to have me on too early, and upstage an upcoming actor like Tom Hanks, but you also don’t want to wait too long, and jeopardize your career. So, I’m here to help, by telling you that the time to have me on your show is right now. That’s right. Before you know it, you could be sitting down with the most famous doctor in the world without an ...…

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Top 10 Things To Do Just In Case The World Ends In 2012

2011-12-31 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, I don’t put much stock in all that hogwash about 2012 being some sort of Apocalyptic year. But, I’m also an advocate of being prepared. So, just in case the world ends in 2012, here are 10 things you should probably do as soon as possible. #10 – Stop being an idiot Look, I don’t care if it’s robots or zombies that might take over, the bottom line is that idiots are the first to die either way. So, it’s time to start becoming aware of your surroundings and getting a sense of ...…

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Dealing With A Problem Parent

2011-11-04 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 2s

This week, a video made its way around the Internet of a Texas judge hitting his 16-year-old with a belt. While the video is difficult to watch for some, I feel like it re-ignites an important and ongoing debate in our culture: whether or not we should publicly flog stupid parents. Now, this debate has many sides. There are some that say that stupid parents should never be flogged, especially in full view of the public, and at the hands of some kind of town disciplinarian. Others say that the children ...…

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In Defense of Brad Pitt

2011-09-25 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

Not long ago, The Hollywood Reporter, which is some kind of online smut magazine, published a story with this headline: “Brad Pitt Uses ‘Moneyball’ Promotional Tour to Criticize Jennifer Aniston“. About his former marriage to Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt had said this: “I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself. I ...…

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It’s Time to Face the Groundhog of Fear

2011-09-08
Length: 3m 52s

 As I've been telling you, you and I are going to change your life.  Hopefully, you're up to speed on this, because we'll be a lot more effective in changing your life completely if you know what's going on. - Last time,…

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It’s Time to Face the Groundhog of Fear

2011-09-08 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

 As I’ve been telling you, you and I are going to change your life.  Hopefully, you’re up to speed on this, because we’ll be a lot more effective in changing your life completely if you know what’s going on. Last time, we talked about what you deserve.  But once you get the inkling about what you deserve, there’s still a number of things that can stand in the way of getting that pile of deserving. Before you start going around pointing and blaming possible things that stand in your way, the ...…

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You Deserve More Than a Crap Sandwich

2011-08-23
Length: 5m 19s

Folks, it's time for a change. - I don't mean for me.  I'm happy as a clam who has been invited to a clam honoring ceremony, in which he or she is about to receive an award for Most Delightful Clam.  I can't think of other circumstances in which a cla...…

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You Deserve More Than a Crap Sandwich

2011-08-23 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, it’s time for a change. I don’t mean for me.  I’m happy as a clam who has been invited to a clam honoring ceremony, in which he or she is about to receive an award for Most Delightful Clam.  I can’t think of other circumstances in which a clam would be happy, so that will have to do. No, I’m talking about you, of course, to you folks out there who are ready for a change. You see, I’ve decided to tell you how to change your life: dramatically, completely, and irreversibly.  Sure, ...…

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What Does a Gynecologist Do?

2011-06-11
Length: 8m 4s

Dear Dr. Matt- - Hello, My name is Chris and in our High School Biology class, we are doing a project in which we have to interview a certain scientist and make a PowerPoint about that field. I was picked with Gynecologist and I was wondering if you c...…

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What Does a Gynecologist Do?

2011-06-10 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 8s

Dear Dr. Matt- Hello, My name is Chris and in our High School Biology class, we are doing a project in which we have to interview a certain scientist and make a PowerPoint about that field. I was picked with Gynecologist and I was wondering if you could help me out and answer a few questions. It would be a great help since their are not many Gynecologist out there that have their emails online. If you can help, here are the following questions: 1. What do you do at your ...…

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Don’t Over-Think How Russell Crowe Relates To Cows

2011-06-07
Length: 5m 8s

Believe me, no one was more surprised than me when Sally Ann Bopkins came to my office this week. You may remember her from my wildly popular snack-sized book, Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid!, a book which is often handed out at the reception desk o...…

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Don’t Over-Think How Russell Crowe Relates To Cows

2011-06-06 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Believe me, no one was more surprised than me when Sally Ann Bopkins came to my office this week. You may remember her from my wildly popular snack-sized book, Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid!, a book which is often handed out at the reception desk of many therapists and psych wards. While I hadn’t seen her in years, I could instantly tell that Sally had changed. She was no longer dangerously overweight, and she didn’t walk around like a hurt puppy, certainly not a morbidly obese one. I asked her what changed ...…

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Exposing a Whirlwind of Stupidity

2011-04-25
Length: 5m 20s

I don't know if you know this, but a crisis can often tell you everything you need to know about a person.  Nothing will separate heroes from idiots faster.  There are plenty of examples in the world to illustrate this,…

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Exposing a Whirlwind of Stupidity

2011-04-25 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

I don’t know if you know this, but a crisis can often tell you everything you need to know about a person.  Nothing will separate heroes from idiots faster.  There are plenty of examples in the world to illustrate this, but one that caught my eye recently came from Sanford, North Carolina. Sanford was recently hit by a doozy of a tornado, an event that always produces a pile of stories, some heart-warming, and some heart-breaking.  However, one story in particular stood out for me, as told by MSNBC.com, which ...…

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How To Change Your Life In One Easy Step

2011-04-05
Length: 3m 15s

Folks, occasionally people come into my apartment / office looking for a change.  Sometimes it's a relationship change, or a job change, or a living situation change, or a sex change.  Inevitably, in every case,…

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How To Change Your Life In One Easy Step

2011-04-05 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Folks, occasionally people come into my apartment / office looking for a change.  Sometimes it’s a relationship change, or a job change, or a living situation change, or a sex change.  Inevitably, in every case, what someone is actually looking for is a way to change something about themselves by changing something else. Let me say that again. All of these things that you want to change are probably not the thing you’re actually wanting to change. The person who wants to change their relationship isn’t coming to me for help in ...…

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Dr. Matt Is Going To Pull It Out For You

2011-03-25
Length: 5m 42s

Once in a while, someone will come into my apartment / office who I immediately know is going to be interesting.  I mean, someone who just really catches my attention for some undefinable reason.  I had a new client this week who I'll call Jared Leto.…

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Dr. Matt Is Going To Pull It Out For You

2011-03-25 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Once in a while, someone will come into my apartment / office who I immediately know is going to be interesting.  I mean, someone who just really catches my attention for some undefinable reason.  I had a new client this week who I’ll call Jared Leto.  Hmm… I guess maybe I shouldn’t give him the name of a celebrity, so let’s give him a common name like Jor-El Leto. Jor-El had a lot going for him, and not just his dashing good looks.  ”Dr. Matt, I hear you solve just about ...…

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Protests in Egypt, Libya, and Your Nursing Home

2011-03-07
Length: 5m 0s

Folks, I've been looking at news from around the world, and I've been seeing a common theme. That is, a group of people are saying to another group, "We're mad as hell, and we aren't going to take it anymore!" The world is awash with protests,…

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Protests in Egypt, Libya, and Your Nursing Home

2011-03-07 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, I’ve been looking at news from around the world, and I’ve been seeing a common theme. That is, a group of people are saying to another group, “We’re mad as hell, and we aren’t going to take it anymore!” The world is awash with protests, and world and local leaders are now having to face the music. “Well that’s fine, Dr. Matt,” I’m sure you’re saying, “but what’s that got to do with me and the problems in my life?” What’s It Got To Do With Me? Well, first, if ...…

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Don’t Not Follow Your Passion! Or Not? No.

2011-02-01
Length: 6m 29s

Folks, earlier this week, a friend of mine pointed me to this article entitled, cleverly, "Don't Follow Your Passion." - "It's really good advice," my friend told me. - Now, I took a gander at this article and it took me a few moments to figure out t...…

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Don’t Not Follow Your Passion! Or Not? No.

2011-02-01 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

Folks, earlier this week, a friend of mine pointed me to this article entitled, cleverly, “Don’t Follow Your Passion.” “It’s really good advice,” my friend told me. Now, I took a gander at this article and it took me a few moments to figure out that it was really bad advice posing as really good advice.  Let me give you a tidbit: So. You’re in love with a thing. Let’s say it’s coffee, books, design, code or solving interesting problems. You decide to open up a café to follow your passion for coffee. ...…

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Dr. Matt’s Contract With The Internet

2011-01-04
Length: 5m 28s

Folks, it seems like every year we get to a whole new year.  In the past, I know that I've said that my only resolution for the new year, if I had one, was to get more famous.  But I've learned and grown, and I wouldn't want you to think that that was ...…

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Dr. Matt’s Contract With The Internet

2011-01-03 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, it seems like every year we get to a whole new year.  In the past, I know that I’ve said that my only resolution for the new year, if I had one, was to get more famous.  But I’ve learned and grown, and I wouldn’t want you to think that that was my only ambition. In fact, I was talking to a friend of mine recently, and she said that she thought that I sometimes came across as self-centered.  Since I welcome constructive criticism, I invited her to explain what ...…

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Snake Doctors Are Highly Marketable

2010-12-20
Length: 4m 24s

Recently, I spent some time in Belize doing some humanitarian work.  You see, while there are some villages that are geographically isolated and don't have access to the internet, Belize hasn't typically been poor enough or problematic enough to attrac...…

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Snake Doctors Are Highly Marketable

2010-12-20 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Recently, I spent some time in Belize doing some humanitarian work.  You see, while there are some villages that are geographically isolated and don’t have access to the internet, Belize hasn’t typically been poor enough or problematic enough to attract a celebrity the way that some African countries can.  Therefore, I decided to give these villages the benefit of a celebrity visit. In the village of Santa Theresa, I met a Mayan snake doctor, or what you might call a witch doctor.  He asked me what I did, and I said ...…

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People Who Set Your Value Suck

2010-11-22
Length: 7m 40s

With a busy schedule of public speaking and celebrity endorsements, I haven't had time to take a lot of appointments from clients.  However, the other day, a client walked in that I hadn't seen in a while.  He's the one that I call Freddle,…

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People Who Set Your Value Suck

2010-11-21 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 7s

With a busy schedule of public speaking and celebrity endorsements, I haven’t had time to take a lot of appointments from clients.  However, the other day, a client walked in that I hadn’t seen in a while.  He’s the one that I call Freddle, and since I was making up names for him, I thought it appropriate to give him some more, so you may remember him better as Freddle Dolly-Parton McMannohaggonbaum, which, let’s be honest, is far more interesting than his real name, which I’m actually starting to forget. Anyway, ...…

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Is it okay to betray a betrayer?

2010-10-20
Length: 5m 28s

Hello Dr. Matt, - My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, though what we have is a long-distance relationship. Before we finally hooked up, he was broken-hearted because his ex left him. Then, after a while being together,…

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Is it okay to betray a betrayer?

2010-10-20 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Hello Dr. Matt, My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, though what we have is a long-distance relationship. Before we finally hooked up, he was broken-hearted because his ex left him. Then, after a while being together, he told me that he loves me and that he no longer loves his ex. When I hacked his email—I know, I’m bad—I saw email trails and chat messages of their love, all recent. I cant tell him what I saw.  What am I gonna do? Thank You, Confused in Georgia Dear ...…

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Your Fatness Is Keeping You From Stuff

2010-09-24
Length: 3m 47s

Folks, I read a recent article that said what you probably already knew, that parents love their fat kids less.  Now, the article admitted that parents probably don't know this, but their actions said it all.  When it came to the fat child,…

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Your Fatness Is Keeping You From Stuff

2010-09-24 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Folks, I read a recent article that said what you probably already knew, that parents love their fat kids less.  Now, the article admitted that parents probably don’t know this, but their actions said it all.  When it came to the fat child, they were less likely to help pay for college or university, and less likely to buy the fat teen a car, even if they might do so for their thinner children.  Couple that with the fact that a child who is much more overweight than their siblings ...…

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What Words of Wisdom for the Wed?

2010-08-28
Length: 3m 30s

Dear Dr. Matt, - Can you offer any words of wisdom for two special people on their wedding day? - -Matthew - Thanks for your question, Matthew. By the way, just so you know, I'm not capable of speaking words that don't contain wisdom.…

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What Words of Wisdom for the Wed?

2010-08-27 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Dear Dr. Matt, Can you offer any words of wisdom for two special people on their wedding day? -Matthew Thanks for your question, Matthew. By the way, just so you know, I’m not capable of speaking words that don’t contain wisdom. It’s one of those side-effects of being wise. But let’s see what I can say to the two special people you refer to. A wedding is quite a fun time. I’ve been to a bunch this year, and each one was special in its own way, and not ...…

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All Wedding Paths Lead To Cake (Eventually)

2010-08-18
Length: 4m 38s

Well, summer is wedding season, and Midgie and I have been to a bunch this year.   Not only that, but one of Midgie's close friends is getting married, and she asked Midgie to be the maid of honor, and help a bit with the planning.…

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All Wedding Paths Lead To Cake (Eventually)

2010-08-17 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Well, summer is wedding season, and Midgie and I have been to a bunch this year.   Not only that, but one of Midgie’s close friends is getting married, and she asked Midgie to be the maid of honor, and help a bit with the planning.  This basically translates to yours truly being along for the ride as well. Now, folks, I don’t know if you’ve ever planned a wedding, but the first thing you realize is that everyone has their own individual idea about what it is, and those ideas ...…

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Dr. Matt’s Question and Answer Orgy, Volume 1

2010-07-16
Length: 4m 6s

Folks, usually I take one fan's question at a time and give a thoughtful and thorough response. Today, I'm going to take on many of you at once, dividing up my thoughtfulness and thoroughness equally, with equality being determined by yours truly.…

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Dr. Matt’s Question and Answer Orgy, Volume 1

2010-07-16 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Folks, usually I take one fan’s question at a time and give a thoughtful and thorough response. Today, I’m going to take on many of you at once, dividing up my thoughtfulness and thoroughness equally, with equality being determined by yours truly. QUESTION #1: Why did LeBron abandon his hometown to earn less money? DR. MATT: Sometimes we need to leave the nest in order to learn how to fly.  And other times, we are named LeBron James. QUESTION #2: What don’t I know I don’t know? DR. MATT: Mostly the mating calls ...…

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Familiarity vs. Formality

2010-06-18
Length: 3m 23s

Once in a while, I'll encounter someone who is really enthusiastic about me and my work.  Actually, usually pretty much everyone is enthusiastic about me, so that's not the issue.  The issue is that, for some,…

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Familiarity vs. Formality

2010-06-18 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Once in a while, I’ll encounter someone who is really enthusiastic about me and my work.  Actually, usually pretty much everyone is enthusiastic about me, so that’s not the issue.  The issue is that, for some, their enthusiasm translates into seeking familiarity with me.  Sometimes this happens in counseling sessions, and sometimes at sell-out seminars. So, what’s the problem with treating Dr. Matt like your good ol’ pal from junior high, or your ex-lover who you are again on good terms with, on the off chance that your current relationship will ...…

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The Unsexiness of Stress

2010-06-13
Length: 4m 15s

In the last while, my partner Midgie has been working on getting her PhD.  Thankfully, I haven't been through this process, but I hear it can be a bit of a challenge, and lately she's been a little stressed out.  Sometimes when Midgie gets stressed,…

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The Unsexiness of Stress

2010-06-12 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

In the last while, my partner Midgie has been working on getting her PhD.  Thankfully, I haven’t been through this process, but I hear it can be a bit of a challenge, and lately she’s been a little stressed out.  Sometimes when Midgie gets stressed, I take a stroll outside or spend some time in the library reading one of the books I’ve written.  It’s not that I don’t want to help her out, but stress is contagious, and catching someone else’s virus doesn’t help cure them. Midgie said once that ...…

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Texas, Religion, and High-Fructose Corn Syrup

2010-05-21
Length: 5m 20s

Since I'm a Texas boy, I know you folks have been waiting for me to say something about the Texas state Board of Education voting on controversial new changes to school textbooks.  If you don't know, the state school board has added language to history...…

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Texas, Religion, and High-Fructose Corn Syrup

2010-05-21 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Since I’m a Texas boy, I know you folks have been waiting for me to say something about the Texas state Board of Education voting on controversial new changes to school textbooks.  If you don’t know, the state school board has added language to history books saying that the country’s Founding Fathers were guided by Christian principles and including positive references to the Moral Majority, the National Rifle Association and the GOP’s Contract with America. According to the folks at MSNBC, they’ve also chosen to downplay “…Thomas Jefferson’s role in world ...…

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If Anyone’s Crazy, It’s Not Me

2010-04-26
Length: 3m 47s

I've been riding the bus a lot lately, ever since my Toyota Plug-In Hybrid Prius suddenly accelerated towards the edge of a cliff while I was parking.  As you know, my Prius is something that is sacred to me,…

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If Anyone’s Crazy, It’s Not Me

2010-04-26 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

I’ve been riding the bus a lot lately, ever since my Toyota Plug-In Hybrid Prius suddenly accelerated towards the edge of a cliff while I was parking.  As you know, my Prius is something that is sacred to me, so this was an event that profoundly affected me at a spiritual level.  If the thing I chose had some flaws, then is there something wrong with my choice? Anyway, I was on the bus the other day, and there was a crazy guy on it.  I mean, crazier than usual for Vancouver. ...…

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Don’t Pick on the Pope

2010-04-06
Length: 4m 20s

Folks, because of the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church, the Pope has been in the news a lot lately.  Many have asked questions like: "Does the Pope hold responsibility for the actions of these priests?…

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Don’t Pick on the Pope

2010-04-06 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Folks, because of the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church, the Pope has been in the news a lot lately.  Many have asked questions like: “Does the Pope hold responsibility for the actions of these priests?  Is the sin of omission tantamount to a sin of commission?  Is the fact that the Vatican was granted a status as a sovereign state by the man who created fascism problematic?  Does the installment of a figurehead which has been granted moral authority, a top placement in a spiritual hierarchy, and immunity from ...…

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You Say It’s Not Possible, But You’re Dumb

2010-03-26
Length: 2m 53s

It's been a little while since I've jotted down my thoughts to you folks.  I spent a number of days at the International Psychology Conference, where I gave a lecture entitled, "Regaining Things In Your Life That You Stupidly Lost."  You see,…

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You Say It’s Not Possible, But You’re Dumb

2010-03-26 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 2s

It’s been a little while since I’ve jotted down my thoughts to you folks.  I spent a number of days at the International Psychology Conference, where I gave a lecture entitled, “Regaining Things In Your Life That You Stupidly Lost.”  You see, when we’re young and we haven’t been burdened with all of society’s limitations of what we can achieve, we tend to reach far and, in many ways, accomplish quite a bit.  Over time, people continue to tell you what you can’t do.  If you’re older, you can’t be ...…

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The Olympics are Done, But the Party’s Not Over

2010-03-02
Length: 4m 23s

Well, Vancouver (and other parts of the world not so gorgeous, save Texas), the Olympics are over.  I was pretty busy during these Olympics, volunteering as the Official Uncertified Psychologist of the games.  And now, of course,…

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The Olympics are Done, But the Party’s Not Over

2010-03-02 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Well, Vancouver (and other parts of the world not so gorgeous, save Texas), the Olympics are over.  I was pretty busy during these Olympics, volunteering as the Official Uncertified Psychologist of the games.  And now, of course, there’s additional work for me, because there’s a significant wave of depression that’s hit folks that have been preparing months or even years for this event.  BOOM, they woke up on Monday and realized there’s no more for them to do.  No more glory, no more spotlight.  One day they’re a volunteer uncertified ...…

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Ask Dr. Matt: Should older women date younger men?

2010-02-08
Length: 2m 58s

Dear Dr. Matt- - What are Dr. Matt's thoughts on girls dating younger men? - Signed, Cultured, Older Unattached Gal After Romance - Dear COUGAR, - My guess from your question is that this isn't a hypothetical.…

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Ask Dr. Matt: Should older women date younger men?

2010-02-07 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 2s

Dear Dr. Matt- What are Dr. Matt’s thoughts on girls dating younger men? Signed, Cultured, Older Unattached Gal After Romance Dear COUGAR, My guess from your question is that this isn’t a hypothetical.  There’s a guy that crossed your path that created quite a spark, but the age discrepancy gave you pause.  I can also safely guess that this question isn’t about the mechanics of such a coupling.  Amongst adults, the mechanics of physical intimacy tend to be pretty much identical.  Nor is this question about even whether or not you would enjoy dating someone ...…

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Real Lies, Fake Truth, and Nakedness

2010-01-26
Length: 6m 10s

I've been working on this book about relationships lately that I know you're all eagerly anticipating.  As they say, you can't rush genius so you'll have to go on waiting for a bit.  I was originally going to call it,…

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Real Lies, Fake Truth, and Nakedness

2010-01-26 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

I’ve been working on this book about relationships lately that I know you’re all eagerly anticipating.  As they say, you can’t rush genius so you’ll have to go on waiting for a bit.  I was originally going to call it, “Just Stop Having Stupid Relationships.”  But now I think I’m going with the title: “When It Comes To Relationships, You’ve Been An Idiot.”  I think either title expresses my point. I was talking about the book with Midgie one day, because I was stuck in a part of the book on ...…

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NEWS FLASH: People With Stupid Ideas Act Stupidly

2010-01-11
Length: 4m 12s

A week ago, I read an article that put me in a foul mood.  It was about a bill that Ugandans were considering that would execute homosexuals.  Yes, you heard that right.  People were going to kill other people for liking their best friends a little too...…

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NEWS FLASH: People With Stupid Ideas Act Stupidly

2010-01-11 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

A week ago, I read an article that put me in a foul mood.  It was about a bill that Ugandans were considering that would execute homosexuals.  Yes, you heard that right.  People were going to kill other people for liking their best friends a little too much. What was more disturbing about this story was that the bill coincidentally materialized after a number of visits by Christian evangelicals who preached on the dangers of homosexuality.  Of course, now those people are taking a step back, and are adamant that their message ...…

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Ask Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010

2010-01-04
Length: 4m 54s

After the year 2010 rolled around a few days ago, a fan asked me if I had any advice for this year.  Well, I didn't, but it's not like it takes Dr. Matt a long time to come up with a list of things for you to do.  As you enter this new year,…

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Ask Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010

2010-01-03 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

After the year 2010 rolled around a few days ago, a fan asked me if I had any advice for this year.  Well, I didn’t, but it’s not like it takes Dr. Matt a long time to come up with a list of things for you to do.  As you enter this new year, here are 10 pieces of advice that I expect you to listen to. Stop stalling. You’ve been putting off finishing that project, and then putting it off some more.  Stop pretending that you aren’t going to die and ...…

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Avatar Is Not An Option (It’s a Requirement)

2009-12-29
Length: 4m 41s

Recently, I was at a small gathering at a friend's house, and I was talking to a nice young lady for a while. The conversation was going quite well, and I felt like I was making a new friend. But then, folks,…

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Avatar Is Not An Option (It’s a Requirement)

2009-12-29 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Recently, I was at a small gathering at a friend’s house, and I was talking to a nice young lady for a while. The conversation was going quite well, and I felt like I was making a new friend. But then, folks, she said something that totally turned it around. It’s something that both shocked and dismayed me, and I want to discuss what happened. You see, we were just going along, talking about things that were going on in the world right now, and then, ...…

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DR. MATT CLASSICS: Bah Humbug

2009-12-18
Length: 5m 16s

Originally Posted: December 11, 2007 - Folks, you might think that I'm a big fan of Christmas, seeing as how all kinds of people are always wanting to give me gifts, especially this time of year. Well, true, the gifts do come my way,…

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DR. MATT CLASSICS: Bah Humbug

2009-12-17 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Originally Posted: December 11, 2007 Folks, you might think that I’m a big fan of Christmas, seeing as how all kinds of people are always wanting to give me gifts, especially this time of year. Well, true, the gifts do come my way, and I appreciate the love from my fans, especially in the form of gift certificates or money orders, but here’s the thing: Dr. Matt is not without his hang-ups, and the Christmas season is one of them. Now, I’m well aware of the benefits of both giving ...…

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The Fear of Getting One’s Teeth Kicked In

2009-12-11
Length: 5m 0s

This month, I had another session with my client Dean, someone who I've mentioned a couple times before.  Dean was doing pretty well.  He seemed to have taken my advice, which was to recognize the potential that he carried with him at all times.…

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The Fear of Getting One’s Teeth Kicked In

2009-12-11 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

This month, I had another session with my client Dean, someone who I’ve mentioned a couple times before.  Dean was doing pretty well.  He seemed to have taken my advice, which was to recognize the potential that he carried with him at all times.  In fact, he’d gained such confidence in himself that he’d caught the eye of a lucky lady and had been in that new relationship for a few weeks.  I gotta say, that girl is fortunate to have a guy like Dean in her life, and likewise, ...…

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The Jerk Circle

2009-11-20
Length: 4m 55s

I was in Toronto recently, for a book promotion and a public speaking tour and to just generally be amazing in a new place.  One day, I was on the Toronto public transit system, which is called the TTC, when I noticed a sign that said,…

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The Jerk Circle

2009-11-20 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

I was in Toronto recently, for a book promotion and a public speaking tour and to just generally be amazing in a new place.  One day, I was on the Toronto public transit system, which is called the TTC, when I noticed a sign that said, “One TTC employee is assaulted every day.  That’s one too many.”  I found it a rather odd message, because it seemed to suggest that while the behavior was wrong, it was an expected daily occurrence.  One might take from that message that if you ...…

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The Lesbian’s Song

2009-11-13
Length: 5m 11s

My good friend Loveleen and I were having drinks one night at a nice quiet bar in Vancouver.  If you don't remember, Loveleen is a gorgeous girl who also happens to be a lesbian.  I was consoling her because her relationship hadn't worked out.  You see,…

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The Lesbian’s Song

2009-11-13 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

My good friend Loveleen and I were having drinks one night at a nice quiet bar in Vancouver.  If you don’t remember, Loveleen is a gorgeous girl who also happens to be a lesbian.  I was consoling her because her relationship hadn’t worked out.  You see, she had waffled for some time about how far to dive into the relationship she’d been in, and while she had tried to make up her mind, the other girl had made the decision for her and had left. Now a couple months later, Loveleen ...…

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The Way of the Superior Man and Whatnot

2009-11-02
Length: 6m 0s

If there's one thing Vancouver does right, it's make a good eggs benny.  I was having eggs benny with my good friend and famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker at one of our favorite cafes, a friendly place in Little India.  Actually,…

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The Way of the Superior Man and Whatnot

2009-11-02 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

If there’s one thing Vancouver does right, it’s make a good eggs benny.  I was having eggs benny with my good friend and famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker at one of our favorite cafes, a friendly place in Little India.  Actually, I think the staff were all Filipino, so we might have been a bit north in Little Philippines.  Although, that’s probably too far north so it was probably more like Little Poland.  Suffice to say, Vancouver’s ethnic geographies do not model world geographies.  Back in Texas we had a saying: ...…

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Potential is Non-Transferable

2009-10-22
Length: 4m 19s

Yesterday, I met with Dean, a really great guy that had gone through a lot of changes lately.  You may recall that a while ago a relationship ended for him. - Dean was struggling with letting go.  You see,…

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Potential is Non-Transferable

2009-10-22 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Yesterday, I met with Dean, a really great guy that had gone through a lot of changes lately.  You may recall that a while ago a relationship ended for him. Dean was struggling with letting go.  You see, you may also recall that the relationship provided him with some great sex, along with all the other stuff that goes with it: love, joy, passion, etc.  But the relationship had also provided partnership, friendship, and at one point, held the promise for Dean that there might be the opportunity for building a ...…

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What’s Wrong With Humans?

2009-10-20
Length: 4m 1s

Dear Dr. Matt - I would like your perpective on use it or lose it, as I am witnessing some rather bizzare behavior out there. I am challenged at times with these humans and your perspective is greatly appreciated. Thank You. - -Human Witness -…

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What’s Wrong With Humans?

2009-10-20 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Dear Dr. Matt I would like your perpective on use it or lose it, as I am witnessing some rather bizzare behavior out there. I am challenged at times with these humans and your perspective is greatly appreciated. Thank You. -Human Witness Dear Mr. Witness, First of all, I’m not exactly sure what you mean by use it or lose it, but not understanding something has never stopped me from rendering an opinion.  I suppose commonly this phrase has come to mean that when you are gifted with something, like love, or ...…

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Brian, You’re Kind of a Dick

2009-10-12
Length: 4m 4s

Yesterday, I was sitting on a bench with Brian, a guy that I recently met up with to play racquetball.  The community centre where I played had actually connected us, but so far I wasn't totally enjoying Brian's company, and he had a crappy backhand. -…

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Brian, You’re Kind of a Dick

2009-10-11 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Yesterday, I was sitting on a bench with Brian, a guy that I recently met up with to play racquetball.  The community centre where I played had actually connected us, but so far I wasn’t totally enjoying Brian’s company, and he had a crappy backhand. Anyway, Brian had been talking on and on about Jennifer, his ex-girlfriend.  I had played Brian enough to know that Jennifer was a favorite topic of his. “Can you believe it?” Brian said, shaking his head.  ”She breaks up with me, and then she wants to be ...…

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Michael Schwartz Needs Better Porn

2009-09-25
Length: 5m 19s

Recently, Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff for Republican senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, said at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C., "All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.…

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Michael Schwartz Needs Better Porn

2009-09-25 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Recently, Michael Schwartz, the chief of staff for Republican senator Tom Coburn of Oklahoma, said at the Values Voter Summit in Washington, D.C., “All pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.” He continued: “If you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” Let me rephrase this stupidity. Apparently, 11-year-olds hate to be gay, so if you can ...…

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My boyfriend ruined my clothes! What now?

2009-09-06
Length: 4m 33s

Dear Dr. Matt - What do you do when your loved one puts your expensive wool items and cotton shirts in the dryer and they all come out ruined?  HELP! - -Laundry Disaster - When this question was first raised on the Dr.…

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My boyfriend ruined my clothes! What now?

2009-09-05 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Dear Dr. Matt What do you do when your loved one puts your expensive wool items and cotton shirts in the dryer and they all come out ruined?  HELP! -Laundry Disaster When this question was first raised on the Dr. Matt fan page on the Facebook Internets, it sparked an interesting discussion between myself and one of my more beautiful fans.  Considering how hot Dr. Matt fans are, that’s really saying something.  However, the discussion was around what this guy should do or should have done, but since he’s not around, I think ...…

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Beautiful Lesbians Make For Good Conversation

2009-09-01
Length: 4m 47s

Folks, I was talking to Loveleen, a friend of mine, who is a beautiful lesbian.  I don't mean she's beautiful for a lesbian.  I mean that she's beautiful, and she's also a lesbian. To me, this is like ice cream with both cookie dough and grated dark c...…

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Beautiful Lesbians Make For Good Conversation

2009-08-31 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Folks, I was talking to Loveleen, a friend of mine, who is a beautiful lesbian.  I don’t mean she’s beautiful for a lesbian.  I mean that she’s beautiful, and she’s also a lesbian. To me, this is like ice cream with both cookie dough and grated dark chocolate on top. Just a wonderful dish. I was talking to Loveleen about something I’d heard on the radio. Some guy was talking about how he’d realized one day that anything someone does for ten years, they become an expert at. ...…

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Relationships Are Collaboration, Not Negotiation

2009-08-30
Length: 7m 9s

I  was talking to two newlywed clients, Tom and Julie.  Tom and Julie had a problem.  You see, Julie had recently decided that she wanted to move to Spain.  She came to Tom one day and said, "This is what I want." - This was a bit disturbing for Tom,…

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Relationships Are Collaboration, Not Negotiation

2009-08-30 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 7s

I  was talking to two newlywed clients, Tom and Julie.  Tom and Julie had a problem.  You see, Julie had recently decided that she wanted to move to Spain.  She came to Tom one day and said, “This is what I want.” This was a bit disturbing for Tom, because, for one, he was not fond of sangria.  But in general, it was such a major change from where they were living now that he felt a bit overwhelmed about it.  Julie had told him what part of Spain she wanted ...…

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Lying Our Way To The Truth

2009-08-26
Length: 6m 27s

Now, I was having coffee with my friend, famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker.  Jon was a little upset, because his daughter had spontaneously left a university career behind when she was very close to becoming a pediatrician. -…

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Lying Our Way To The Truth

2009-08-26 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

Now, I was having coffee with my friend, famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker.  Jon was a little upset, because his daughter had spontaneously left a university career behind when she was very close to becoming a pediatrician. “She wants to be an artist,” said Jon. I sipped on my delicious latte from Caffe Artigiano, which, if you don’t know, makes the best lattes in all of Vancouver and probably North America.  Well, definitely better than Europe as well, and I’m guessing most of Africa isn’t known for lattes.  Probably trumps Asia and South ...…

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Breaking Up With District 9 Is Hard To Do

2009-08-22
Length: 5m 27s

Folks, for a while I've been meeting regularly with a guy who I'll call Dean.  And by meeting with him, I mean he comes to my apartment/office, gives me money, and I tell him what to do. - Dean was down in the dumps.  You see,…

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Breaking Up With District 9 Is Hard To Do

2009-08-22 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, for a while I’ve been meeting regularly with a guy who I’ll call Dean.  And by meeting with him, I mean he comes to my apartment/office, gives me money, and I tell him what to do. Dean was down in the dumps.  You see, his girlfriend had just ended their relationship, which, by all accounts, had lots of great sex in it.  I wish I could tell you more, but there’s a little thing called client confidentiality. So, naturally, Dean was grieving and missing what he enjoyed about that experience.  ”I ...…

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Fine, Choice and Freedom are REALLY Important

2009-08-11

A while ago I talked about choice and freedom, calling them "somewhat important".  Now, I figured you might know that I understate things, so if I say that something is "somewhat" important, then I fully expect some of you to tattoo that message somewh...…

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Fine, Choice and Freedom are REALLY Important

2009-08-11 :: Dr. Matt

A while ago I talked about choice and freedom, calling them “somewhat important”.  Now, I figured you might know that I understate things, so if I say that something is “somewhat” important, then I fully expect some of you to tattoo that message somewhere on your body.  But, perhaps because you didn’t, it gives me an opportunity to talk about these two funny words. Recently, I was talking to a client of mine that you would know by the alias, “Freddle Dolly-Parton McMannohaggonbaum.”  Remember him?  He was having issues with confidence. ...…

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Building a Reputation, One Crow at a Time

2009-08-07
Length: 4m 50s

I heard an amazing thing on the radio the other day. It goes like this: if you piss off a crow, then it will start squawking at you. Other crows will look to see what is going on and will start squawking at you, too. That's not the amazing thing. -…

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Building a Reputation, One Crow at a Time

2009-08-06 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

I heard an amazing thing on the radio the other day. It goes like this: if you piss off a crow, then it will start squawking at you. Other crows will look to see what is going on and will start squawking at you, too. That’s not the amazing thing. The amazing thing is that crows remember exactly who they were squawking at, and will squawk at the same person the next time they see them. So you can be walking in a different part of town ...…

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What’s the Secret to Fashion?

2009-07-22
Length: 4m 14s

Hi Dr. Matt, - I really struggle with fashion. By your good looks and extra hairy moustache, I can tell you really have a sense of how to put on a pair of pants. What's your secret? Where do you find your motivation to strive for such fashion?…

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What’s the Secret to Fashion?

2009-07-22 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 4s

Hi Dr. Matt, I really struggle with fashion. By your good looks and extra hairy moustache, I can tell you really have a sense of how to put on a pair of pants. What’s your secret? Where do you find your motivation to strive for such fashion? Thanks, Fashion Flaw Dear Fashion Flaw, First, thank you for acknowledging my good looks. But, before I get into how to make yourself remotely appealing, why don’t I talk about why fashion is important.  But first I’ll talk about people who hate it. Some ...…

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Generosity is Not Win/Lose, Will Smith

2009-06-02
Length: 5m 33s

Folks, I know that you may think that with all my online hullabaloo, that I'm good at computers.  It's simply not the case.  If God wanted us to be good at computing, he would have given us computing devices in our bodies that sent out electrical signa...…

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Generosity is Not Win/Lose, Will Smith

2009-06-02 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, I know that you may think that with all my online hullabaloo, that I’m good at computers.  It’s simply not the case.  If God wanted us to be good at computing, he would have given us computing devices in our bodies that sent out electrical signals every which way.  He didn’t, so I’m fine with where I’m at. Anyway, the guy I turn to to solve my computer issues is a guy I know named Jeff.  I’ve been counseling him about his depression, so I’d better not give his last ...…

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Get Out of the Zone

2009-04-25
Length: 3m 54s

Well, folks, spring is here, and boy howdy, is it a welcome change.  These great outdoors of the Greater Vancouver Regional District have been calling me for a long time, and for a long time, I've ignored their calls.  You see, believe it or not, Dr.…

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Get Out of the Zone

2009-04-25 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Well, folks, spring is here, and boy howdy, is it a welcome change.  These great outdoors of the Greater Vancouver Regional District have been calling me for a long time, and for a long time, I’ve ignored their calls.  You see, believe it or not, Dr. Matt likes being comfortable, and hesitates when something is outside of his comfort zone. So regardless of whether or not I have wanted to do certain things, like scale a mountain, or (in the wintertime) shred the backcountry on a snowboard, I’ve consistently had the ...…

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Gay or Non-Gay? You Decide.

2009-03-18
Length: 5m 49s

Folks, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine who works in a similar field as I do.  That is, his business produces and sells magnetic bracelets for their healing properties, so we're both in the fake health industry.…

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Gay or Non-Gay? You Decide.

2009-03-18 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 5s

Folks, I was having lunch with a colleague of mine who works in a similar field as I do.  That is, his business produces and sells magnetic bracelets for their healing properties, so we’re both in the fake health industry.  Jim was telling me about his latest relationship.  Now, Jim has only dated guys in the past, and many of his friends assume that means he’s only attracted to men.  But this latest relationship started with a female friend of his, and hence Jim’s dilemma. You see, for a long time ...…

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Like Money, Like Self

2009-03-05
Length: 3m 9s

I know it's been a while, folks, since you heard from me, and I apologize for that.  I've been on a book tour lately, selling the highly popular bathroom reader: "Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid!"  If you don't have your copy yet,…

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Like Money, Like Self

2009-03-05 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

I know it’s been a while, folks, since you heard from me, and I apologize for that.  I’ve been on a book tour lately, selling the highly popular bathroom reader: “Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid!”  If you don’t have your copy yet, then obviously you don’t like going to the bathroom. While on tour, I spoke at a conference about not being stupid about money.  And I gotta tell you, there are a lot of people who are stupid about it.  Right now there’s this whole economic whatsit going on, and ...…

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The Story of the Other

2009-01-30
Length: 8m 32s

My friend Roger and I were at the gym attempting to fulfill our New Year's Promises, namely ones involving carrying less fat around the chin area.  We occasionally chit-chat, though not always.  I'd been in the treadmill zone for about ten minutes when...…

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The Story of the Other

2009-01-29 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 8s

My friend Roger and I were at the gym attempting to fulfill our New Year’s Promises, namely ones involving carrying less fat around the chin area.  We occasionally chit-chat, though not always.  I’d been in the treadmill zone for about ten minutes when he said, “So, Midgie is going to be speaking on Sunday.”  (Midgie is a mutual friend of ours who is as fun and interesting as her name sounds, and in the interest of full disclosure, someone that both Roger and I have made love to, but not at the ...…

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Good Job, America. Now Let’s Do The Gays

2009-01-23
Length: 3m 19s

Folks, like most Americans earlier this week, I was crying tears of joy when we chose our first African-American president.  A great page of history had been turned, and a tremendous leap forward had been made for black Americans and heck,…

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Good Job, America. Now Let’s Do The Gays

2009-01-22 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Folks, like most Americans earlier this week, I was crying tears of joy when we chose our first African-American president.  A great page of history had been turned, and a tremendous leap forward had been made for black Americans and heck, for all Americans.  I’m thinking, let’s keep this momentum going of ending prejudice and lifting up voices that have previously been silenced.  That’s right, next time, let’s do the gays. Let’s imagine a lesbian.  Now, I really like lesbians, because I tend to get along well with people who like ...…

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The Moment is Now, The Person is You

2009-01-20
Length: 6m 40s

Earlier this week, I was having lunch with my friend, famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker.  Jon was lamenting the fact that his wife was away on business, and he would have to attend an architecture convention alone. - Now,…

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The Moment is Now, The Person is You

2009-01-19 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 6s

Earlier this week, I was having lunch with my friend, famous architect Jonathon Stembridge-Rickenbacker.  Jon was lamenting the fact that his wife was away on business, and he would have to attend an architecture convention alone. Now, for those who don’t know JSR, this guy is one of the most wonderful people to spend time with.  He’s kind, he’s funny, and he compliments me on my mustache nearly every time I see him. He said to me, “Dr. Matt, I really want to go to this thing, but I don’t wanna go ...…

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The River of Confidence (and the Dam of Stupidity)

2009-01-06
Length: 7m 36s

Folks, the other day a guy came into my apartment/office.  I'll call him Ed, or better yet, a fake name like Freddle.  I better add a last name so that would be something like McMannohaggonbaum.  And if you wanted to pry and we needed a middle name,…

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The River of Confidence (and the Dam of Stupidity)

2009-01-06 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 7s

Folks, the other day a guy came into my apartment/office.  I’ll call him Ed, or better yet, a fake name like Freddle.  I better add a last name so that would be something like McMannohaggonbaum.  And if you wanted to pry and we needed a middle name, we could just use Dolly-Parton.  So, just so we don’t get lost, the other day I was paid a visit by Freddle Dolly-Parton McMannohaggonbaum. Anyway, Fred said to me, “Dr. Matt, how do I become a more confident person?” I thought to myself, “Well, maybe ...…

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Canada, You’ve Been Kind Of A Dick

2008-11-06
Length: 3m 14s

Folks, with all this good will traveling around the world about the election of Barack Obama, and everyone reaching out and shaking America's hand, I think this is an opportunity for me to finally say: Canada, you've been kind of a dick. -…

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Canada, You’ve Been Kind Of A Dick

2008-11-06 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Folks, with all this good will traveling around the world about the election of Barack Obama, and everyone reaching out and shaking America’s hand, I think this is an opportunity for me to finally say: Canada, you’ve been kind of a dick. This Texas boy moved up to Canada, and look, Canada’s a nice place with nice people.  But once in a while, Canada has been a little dick-ish when the subject of America comes up.  Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Canada, that it took us sooooo long to overcome some prejudicial ...…

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Choice And Freedom Are Somewhat Important

2008-09-15
Length: 3m 56s

Folks, I gotta say, it hurt my heart to see all those poor folk in my home state of Texas taking such a beating from that Hurricane Ike.  What was more distressing was that even after authorities told people, basically,…

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Choice And Freedom Are Somewhat Important

2008-09-15 :: Dr. Matt
Length: 3s

Folks, I gotta say, it hurt my heart to see all those poor folk in my home state of Texas taking such a beating from that Hurricane Ike.  What was more distressing was that even after authorities told people, basically, “You will die if you do not evacuate,” some chose to stay behind.  And I gotta say, that’s a little stupid. Look, I know people like to say, “Well, you know, it’s really everyone’s choice if they want to be stupid or not.”  But what you may fail to realize is ...…

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The Dr. Matt Podcast

Dr. Matt, the Most Famous Fake Doctor Of Our Timeâ„¢, is an award-winning author, blogger, and performer, who gives advice on relationships, life, death, half-life, pet ownership, sexuality, asexuality, proto-sexuality, and mustache growing. If your life does not change dramatically in 4 minutes, then just keep listening.

The Dr. Matt Podcast


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