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Last update: 2012-12-22

Episode 029: Honey Boo Boo Golden Child

2012-12-22 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 44s

Get down and dirty redneck style by eating sketti, dumpster diving and checking out this week’s episode. Sean Connery stops paying his bills because it’s December 12, 2012, the end of the world. Bill Clinton speculates that not electing Mitt Romney could be the reason humanity should be spared from the apocalypse. Sean spins around and goes crazy after chugging Go Go Juice in “Honey Boo Boo Golden Child” They listen to Dr. Drew interviewing Honey Boo Boo because Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has over 2.75 million viewers. Then Galactus the world eater fulfills the Mayan Prophecy by calling in and threatening to eat Earth. Can Sean and Bill save the world in “Galactus: The Mayan Prophecy”? Episode 029: Honey Boo Boo Golden Child Playlist: Honey Boo Boo Golden Child | Galactus: The Mayan Prophecy [...]…

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Episode 028: Lewinski’s Presidential Rim-Job

2012-10-17 :: Critical Hit Media

Give yourself a nipple-twister in preparation for this weeks new show. Sean and Bill are back from hiatus and debate about the debates as Sean pledges his support for Mitt Romney and his tan skin. Bill explains his escapades as Monica Lewinski releases a new book that suggests that she gave Bill Clinton a rim-job and Sean mixes up his deposits at the sperm bank with his deposits at his financial institution in “Lewinski’s Presidential Rim-job” News reports are abound about Octomom’s children living in lawlessness as she is being investigated regarding allegations that her older children are abusing her younger ones because of the scarcity of  her breast milk in “Octomom Beyond Thunderdome” Episode 028: Lewinski’s Presidential Rim-Job Playlist: Lewinski’s Presidential Rim-Job | Octomom Beyond Thunderdome [...]…

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Episode 027: Doctor Octomom

2011-10-02 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 43s

Treat your ears to the finest radio since 80 year old sliced bread. Bill had a nightmare about sex with Hill… I mean a piranha.  Poverty and technology finally meet as Nadya Suleman campaigns to play the villain in the new Spiderman movie in this week’s episode entitled ” Doctor Octomom”. Sean talks about how 3D TV confuses him into thinking someone is breaking into his living room. Bill questions Sean on the differences between  acting in 2D and 3D. Abercrombie & Fitch offers Mike “The Situation” from Jersey Shore a substantial amount of money to wear some other brand in “The Abercrombie Situation”. Episode 027: Doctor Octomom Playlist: Doctor Octomom | The Abercrombie Situation [...]…

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Episode 026: Coke Roasted Sheen

2011-09-19 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 41s

Sean and Bill are back so pack up your summer trunks and put on your adult diapers cause this week’s show is a pisser! Ashton Kutcher takes over on Two and a Half Men,  Chaz Bono’s chesty landscape has changed and Charlie Sheen is being roasted by Comedy Central but who will have the last laugh when Charlie’s body is found in a pool of his own sperm in “Coke Roasted Sheen” Bill praises an American hero, the hacker who shared Scarlett Johansson’s naked body with the world. Sean and Bill talk about who has the most naked pictures in their phones in “Scarlett’s Hacked A$$” Episode 026: Coke Roasted Sheen Playlist: Coke Roasted Sheen | Scarlett’s Hacked A$$ [...]…

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Episode 025: The Governor’s Love Child

2011-05-24 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 48s

Have sex with swiss cheese to this week’s Sean and Bill where men in power do and say stupid things! Bill interviews Sean about his barbaric wife-beating views toward marriage, the rapture and why his megalomania has kicked into a god complex in “Connery Almighty”. Maria Shriver is expected to divorce Arnold Schwarzenegger because of his secret love child. Plus, Sean and Bill don’t talk about Bill’s own non-existent love child in “The Governor’s Love Child”. Sean and Bill celebrate Osama bin laden’s death but are shocked to hear he was a pot smoking, chronic masturbator who laid around watching TV all day…Could he have been human? in “Osama’s Bin Laid” Episode 025: The Governor’s Love Child Playlist: Connery Almighty | The Governor’s Love Child | Osama’s Bin Laid [...]…

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Episode 024: The Sheen and The Bill Show

2011-03-22 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 41s

Don’t be a troll, brush up on your Charlie Sheen-isms & be a winner, winner, chicken-dinner! Sean and Bill talk about snorting uncut Columbian Charlie sheen in the sixties. Sean advocates Charlie’s actions by reciting some of Sheen’s poetry as Bill dispels rumors that he is in The Hangover 2 with Charlie in “The Sheen and The Bill Show” Sean and Bill talk about the tragedies in Japan and North Africa…But since Charlie Sheen equals ratings - They mostly just talk in the language of Sheen and review the qualifications needed to contain Charlie Sheen’s tiger blood. Bill spills the beans about hanging out with Jaime Fox and Matthew Mcconaughey at a St. Patrick’s day fund-raising party in “Bill’s Begging Party” Episode 024: The Sheen and The Bill Show Playlist: The Sheen and The Bill Show | Bill’s Begging Party [...]…

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Episode 023: From Justin Bieber to Charlie Sheen

2011-03-14 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 47s

Grow a beard and take off your skinny pants for this new episode! Bill sends a thank you letter to Howard Stern for his kind words on Piers Morgan Tonight and they both speculate who would win in a fight Niel Connery vs. Roger Clinton. Sean kidnaps Justin Bieber and tries to turn him into Charlie Sheen in “From Justin Bieber to Charlie Sheen” Sean reveals his involvement in the Highlander reboot and the fact that he came up with the idea to hire the Twilight writer to write the reboot. Bill expresses his love of Highlander 2 and vampire babies and more in “Twilander ft. Vampire Babies” Episode 023: From Justin Bieber to Charlie Sheen Playlist: From Justin Bieber to Charlie Sheen | Twilander ft. Vampire Babies [...]…

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Episode 022: Preaching Obscenity

2011-02-21 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 30s

Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your v-chips! Grow your gray matter for blue comedy as Sean and Bill talk about Keith Olbermann’s move to Al Gore’s Current TV and learning gospel from the preacher with tourettes in “Preaching Obscenity”. Sean and Bill plan an intervention for Al Gore because he is becoming Al Whore or Charlie Sheen lite and Bill Clinton reacts to kind words from Howard Stern on Piers Morgan Tonight in “Howard Stern Clinton Lover” Episode 022: Preaching Obscenity Playlist: Preaching Obscenity | Howard Stern Clinton Lover [...]…

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Episode 021: Enemies With Benefits

2011-01-30 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 38s

Put in your hearing aids and turn up the volume for another old-timey Sean and Bill show! Sean and Bill contemplate what kind of superheros they’d be when a listener from a third world country writes an email and begs for money in “The Green Horny” It’s Bill Clinton’s birthday bash and he won’t eat meat but he is inviting everyone in the world (even Kim Jong Il) this august to the staples center in Los Angeles, plus Sean Connery is offered a role in Machete 2 and responds to some legal tax troubles he’s having with the government of Spain in “Enemies With Benefits” Episode 021: Enemies With Benefits Playlist: The Green Horny | Enemies With Benefits [...]…

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Episode 020: Superhero Pimp

2011-01-19 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 51s

Whip your hair back and forth and wash your dirty ears out with soap, so you can hear this week’s Sean and Bill episode, the way it was intended. Peta declares Bill Clinton man of the year because he decided to save his life and swear off meat in the very noble act of self preservation and a painting of a 20 year old Sean Connery in just a thong is discovered, just as the the 80 year old Sean discovers an anal fissure in “James Bond Thong Art” Listen to this riveting interview of Captain Ozone, a real life superhero rival of Seattle’s guardian, Phoenix Jones. The captain strikes fear in the hearts of criminals by sporting a black and pink death suit and an unrelenting passion - between his legs in “Superhero Pimp” Episode 020: Superhero Pimp Playlist: James Bond Thong Art | Superhero Pimp [...]…

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Episode 019: Pop Culture Castration

2010-10-23 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 53s

Pump down the jams this week with Sean and Bill as they get hip to what the kids are bumping out to. Vladimir sits in as they hash out the details of Al Gore’s divorce including how Al has been sleeping at Sean’s house. Sean and Bill tear into the latest Mel Gibson tape because Mel is on Sean’s shit list in ” Mel Gibson’s Jacuzzi Gate”. Call all the shorties to the dance floor for the eagerly anticipated “Putin on the Hits” segment, where our hosts lament the lack of balls in  the top ten songs as they critique the “hits” like American Idol judges in “Pop Culture Castration”. Episode 019: Pop Culture Castration Playlist: Mel Gibson’s Jacuzzi Gate | Pop Culture Castration [...]…

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Episode 018: The Lord of Extraordinary Gentlemen

2010-09-26 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 57s

Punch yourself in the face in preparation for this month’s Sean and Bill episode with special guest Vladimir Putin sitting in. It’s Sean Connery’s 80th birthday, find out what Bill Clinton’s surprise birthday gift is. Sean calls Bill out on bad advice Bill gave him to pass on the role of Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Instead, Sean took the role of Nemo in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Paris Hilton goes to court to defend her highly addictive powdery chewing gum. Bill is nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, but will the fuzzy blue Navi’ take it from him for their heroic efforts in Avatar? Warning women may get moist listening to the second segment entitled “Spoken Word Senility” where Sean Connery plays parts of his spoken word album. Roman Polanski is set free and Sean is appalled because a couple years ago he was told about statutory rape. Episode 018: The Lord of Extraordinary Gentlemen Playlist: The Lord of Extraordinary [...]…

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Episode 017: Dragon’s Don’t Vote

2010-06-23 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 43s

Get ready for lift-off with this week’s episode, in which Sean relays a terrible flying experience: being subjected to riding in coach, avoiding a sleeping Asian woman’s sexual advances and still managing to stop a hijacking by signing the hijackers autograph. Bill contemplates the oil spill in the gulf, the immigration controversy in Arizona and a dragon’s right to vote in “Dragon’ Don’t Vote” Bust your gallbladder open and let the laughs pour out as Sean and Bill talk about Sandra Bullock’s new baby and Jesse James’ Nazi image rehabilitation efforts in “Neo-Nazi Bullocks” Episode 017: Dragon’s Don’t Vote Playlist: Dragon’s Don’t Vote | Neo-Nazi Bullocks [...]…

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Episode 016: The Fornication of Jesse James

2010-04-11 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 51s

Digest some gossip juice this week in a world-shattering new Sean and Bill Show. Sean Connery sings some Lady Gaga and speculates on the existence of a Lord Gaga. Bill envies the sex-life of a man who married and stays faithful to a pillow, but Jesse James cheats all over town on Sandra Bullock in “The Fornication of Jesse James” SPOILER ALERT: Ricky Martin is gay. Did Britney Spears turn him after reorienting  Justin Timberlake? Episode 016: The Fornication of Jesse James Playlist: Pillow Talk Vows | The Fornication of Jesse James [...]…

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Episode 015: Survivor North Pole

2010-01-20 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 57s

Revel in joyness as Sean “Santa” Connery and Bill discuss cannibalistic elves,  scottish zombies and edible avatar aliens, or Na’vi. Would Santa Clause eat Survivor’s Boston Rob in this fall’s new Survivor Heroes Vs. Villains “North Pole”? Who on a Golden Globe? Who won The Tonight Show? Who is better at the oral arts? Bill Clinton or Barrack Obama? Find out Cringe at Sean’s racist rants about Robo people after presenting an award at the 2nd annual Shoddy Award on the Shoddy Radio Podcast. Episode 015: Survivor North Pole Playlist: Survivor North Pole | Best Award Show, Goes to… [...]…

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Episode 014: Tiger’s Roaming Wood

2009-12-22 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 1m 8s

Celebrate the yuletide with Sean, Bill and “nail polish” egg nog. Join Sean and Bill in “Secret Service Santa” as they exchange Christmas gifts in a secret Santa exchange involving gag gifts and custom carols like “Little Bagpipe Boy” and “The 12 Days of Shooting”. What goes through David Letterman and Tiger Wood’s cheating mind? Learn from the founding father of philandering, Bill Clinton in ” Tiger’s Roaming Wood”. Episode 014: Tiger’s Roaming Wood Playlist: Secret Service Santa | Tiger’s Roaming Wood [...]…

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Episode 013: Antisocial Protocols

2009-11-18 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 58s

Download the long-awaited unlucky 13th episode of The Sean and The Bill Show! Rabble rouse with Sean and Bill as they start an on air beef with the afternoon deejay over the validity of his radio magic act. Learn social protocols on how to let someone else shine at let’s say The MTV Video Music Awards…with Kanye West, or Joe Wilson and Congress. And, check out the latest Hollywood buzz straight from Sean’s dirty hollywood underbelly as they discuss the Jay Leno Show, and Tyler Perry’s Last Crusade. Episode 013: Antisocial Protocols Playlist: The Radio Magician | Antisocial Protocols | Sean Connery’s Hollywood Minute [...]…

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Episode 012: Death Panel Game Show

2009-08-27 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 55s

Double check your prescriptions this week because Sean and Bill will leave you with more side-effects than just laughter, nausea, and headless body syndrome. Sean Jams out to this summer’s blockbuster hit Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas and quells a nasty hangnail rumor making it difficult to date, while Bill ponders the health care bills being proposed by congress in “The Scotsman’s Hangnail” Old people beware, considering the outcry from republicans in recent town hall meetings. Sean and Bill come up with a way to pass a good health care bill through to the president in “Death Panel Game Show” Episode 012: Death Panel Game Show Playlist: The Scotsman’s Hangnail | Death Panel Game Show [...]…

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Episode 011: Al Gore’s Celebrity Seance

2009-08-06 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 36s

Pry open your ears for this week’s episode featuring Nobel prize winning one-time wunderkind filmmaker, Al Gore. Set your dial to KSTD as we discus everything from the passing of Michael Jackson and Walter Cronkite to Sonya Sotomayor and Al Franken joining the democrats. Sean and Al go at it over Dungeons and Dragons and the long awaited return of former president Bill Clinton from his sojourn into the afterlife and/or Haiti. Special bonus: Unreleased controversial archived interview with the king of pop himself. Episode 011: Al Gore’s Celebrity Seance Playlist: Al Gore’s Celebrity Seance | Hollywood Afterlife Party | Michael Jackson’s Monkey Confession [...]…

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Episode 010: A $hithouse Divided

2009-07-23 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 36s

Tired of all your favorite stars dying? Get spiritual in this week’s episode “A $hithouse Divided” The FCC sends a new producer to monitor obscenities. Bill is possessed by a familiar spirit as Sean Connery slips further into delusion in the thrilling 2-part conclusion “Jumping the Ghost Shark Part 2″. The tension is palpable as Sean and “Possessed Bill” quarrel and squash beef the Scottish way in ” A $hithouse Divided”. Will Sean ever get his friend Bill Clinton back? Will The Sean and Bill Show ever be the same? Episode 010: A $hithouse Divided Playlist: Jumping The Ghost Shark Part 2 | A $hithouse Divided [...]…

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Episode 009: Rod Blagoya’s Bitch

2009-07-01 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 42s

Revel in the fascinating world of reality television in “Rod Blagoya’s Bitch” as Sean and Bill discuss I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!, an NBC show where stars like Spencer Pratt and Rod Blagoyavich’s wife fight for food in the jungle but usually end up eating rice, beans and bull penis. Listen as we jump the shark, take its hide and jump rope with it in “Jumping The Ghost Shark Part l” as  Bill googles exorcism rites to evict Sean’s schizophrenic alter-ego, Tom Connery. Episode 009: Rod Blagoya’s Bitch Playlist: Rod Blagoya’s Bitch  |  Jumping The Ghost Shark Part 1 [...]…

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Episode 008: Auto-Erotic Stigmas

2009-06-18 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 51s

Tickle your ear-holes this week in “Auto-Erotic Stigmas”. Bill’s BBQ restaurant grand opening sees Sean bomb his first attempt at stand-up comedy, cause a riot, a food fight and a 450 million dollar tab. The duo discuss the untimely death of David Carradine, and the news that it wasn’t a suicide leads to wild and unsubstantiated speculation. Subscribe at Podbean, Itunes or download directly at criticalhitmedia.com Episode 008: Auto-Erotic Stigmas Playlist: Bubba’s BBQ Riot | Auto-Erotic Stigmas [...]…

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Episode 007: Susan’s Boil

2009-06-07 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 43s

The Sean and The Bill Show, Episode 7 is now available. On of the most listened to episodes of the saga! Marvel at Bill’s endless enthusiasm for living in Haiti in “Haitian Vacation”. Get a whiff of Sean’s latest money making scheme in “Eau de Crotchabit” and listen as Sean and Bill debate whether Susan Boyle has an infrared sex tape floating around the internet in “Susan’s Boil”. Episode 007: Susan’s Boil Playlist: Haitian Vacation  |  Eau de Crotchabit  |  Susan’s Boil [...]…

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Episode 006: The Tom and The Willy Show

2009-05-21 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 58s

Sean and Bill episode six is available for download and streaming right here! Tune in while Sean starts a new chemically imbalanced diet of ramen noodle cereal and psychotic inducing medication. Bill soothes Connery’s financial predicament and the station takes heat from the FCC for our announcer’s previous advertisement. Learn more about pirates, swine flu and Dame Edna. Subscribe to us on iTunes or download it directly here. Episode 006: The Tom and The Willy Show Playlist: The Tom and The Willy Show | Ramen Noodle Cereal [...]…

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Episode 005: Everybody Poops The Movie

2009-05-11 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 1m 6s

Sean and Bill episode five is available for download! “Catch it!” as Sean and Bill examine the melancholy world of “emo” children and how they react to Sean’s “enhanced Scottish interrogation techniques”. Connery twitters while Rome burns in “Everybody Poops: The Movie”. Subscribe to us on iTunes or download it directly here. Episode 005: Everybody Poops: The Movie Playlist: Pampered Emo Angst | Enhanced Scottish Interrogation | Twitter while you work | Everybody Poops: The Movie [...]…

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Episode 004: Octomom’s Vaginal Resurrection

2009-05-04 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 53s

Sean and Bill episode four is available for download. Catch Sean and Bill as they rip through Octomom, wax philosophical about underwear in “Fruity Balloons” and lament Bill’s recent run in with the surveillance society in “Bill’s Belt”. Bonus: “Scrambled Reception Porn”, one glance and you’ll be hooked. Subscribe to us on iTunes or download it directly here. Episode 004: Octomom’s Vaginal Resurrection Playlist: Octomom’s Vaginal Resurrection | Fruity Balloons | Scrambled Reception Porn | Bill’s Belt [...]…

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Episode 003: The Eagle Has Landed

2009-04-21 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 37s

Sean talks about his new projects, Bill worries about the FCC and more in Sean and Bill Episode 3. Subscribe to us on iTunes or download it directly here. Episode 003: The Eagle Has Landed Playlist:  Passion of The Crust | The Eagle Has Landed [...]…

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Episode 002: Clinton V. Elmo

2009-04-14 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 31s

Sean and Bill are at it again in our second episode. Bill’s new restaurant is heavy on the fried foods. Sean Connery promotes his new boot camp. They brainstorm a reality show for real actors who act real but still act. Bill’s unfortunate litigation issues leave him with little furry enemies. Subscribe on from iTunes or download directly from criticalhitmedia.com Episode 002: Clinton V. Elmo Playlist: Bubba’s BBQ | Emo Boot Camp | Competitive Acting | Clinton V. Elmo [...]…

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Episode 001: Lee’s Sexual Exploits

2009-04-01 :: Critical Hit Media
Length: 39s

Welcome one and all, to the launch of a new beginning in radio entertainment. Legendary actor, Sean Connery and Former President Bill Clinton have partnered to form a drive-time morning talk radio show the likes of which you’ve never seen. Join in on the frolicking as we discuss everything from global climate change to celebrity gossip, and everything in between. The Sean and The Bill Show Episode 1 is available now. Episode 001: Lee’s Sexual Exploits Playlist: Angelina’s Pee  | Iplug | Lee’s Sexual Exploits [...]…

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The Sean and The Bill Show

Sean Connery & President Bill Clinton partner to form a drive-time morning talk radio show!

The Sean and The Bill Show


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